Looks are important?

19 Oct 2006

Hi guys,
we have had an advert on SH for about 18months now and in it we state that we are looking for "people who take care of themselves and their appearance, we are not looking for super models..." etc.
We were wondering how important are looks in your swinging meets? as in our opinion (and it is purely OURS) a sucessful meet up must contain some level of sexual attraction, is this the same for the majority of SH swingers?
How do you go about telling a couple you may have chatted to for a few weeks that you do not fancy them when they send a pic?
Or do some members meet people and are not bothered about sexual or physical attraction?
Has got our little mouse like brains a - pulsing with intrigue!! wink

19 Oct 2006

Quote by steanrachy
Hi guys,
we have had an advert on SH for about 18months now and in it we state that we are looking for "people who take care of themselves and their appearance, we are not looking for super models..." etc.
We were wondering how important are looks in your swinging meets? as in our opinion (and it is purely OURS) a sucessful meet up must contain some level of sexual attraction, is this the same for the majority of SH swingers?
How do you go about telling a couple you may have chatted to for a few weeks that you do not fancy them when they send a pic?
Or do some members meet people and are not bothered about sexual or physical attraction?
Has got our little mouse like brains a - pulsing with intrigue!!

the bit in bold is the bit that took my notice....
i think you are right..... there does have to be some some of sexual attraction..
but how do you define "sexual attraction"????
are you just talking about physical attraction....
for me "sexual" attraction is a mixture of both the mental and the physical... such as the looks are fine, but the brain will keep me there, and keep me wanting to come back for more........

19 Oct 2006

hello again fabs,
we in our instance are kind of looking for physical attraction as our meets only really happen if we are happy with the set up etc and we gain the sexual attraction and excitment from the build up and anticipation before a meet up where we generally always tend to do the same type of scenario!!
its not that we are shallow or image obbsessed (well not me anyway lol

ste) but we need to feel we are physically attracted in a capacity where our sexual attraction and stimulisation can be realised!!
edit:
in a meet up where you probs never see the guys again think this is most important to us!!

19 Oct 2006

Being someone who prefers one-offs to a regular shagging partner, it's all about physical appearance as far as I'm concerned.
I don't mean the guy has to be an Adonis, it's not so much his looks as his build that are important. I'm just not attracted to guys with beer bellies and tits bigger than mine biggrin

It's also physically uncomfortable for me if the guy is too large, I'm very small with a small frame, and I don't like being crushed or having my hips dislocated :shock:
Mind you, I don't like big willy's either wink

19 Oct 2006

It is something we look for before we consider meeting people, and we agree with you, if it is just a one off meet, then I think it becomes even more important to be physically attracted to whoever you're swinging with as you tend to not have much else to go by!
Having said that, we have played with people that we perhaps wouldn't be attracted to if we'd met them on a night out etc, but the attraction has come from lots of naughty chat!
(no-one on here before you all start wondering if its you!)
We'd love anyones tips on how to let someone down gently if they're not you're cup of tea, as we're massive cowards when it comes to the 'thanks, but no thanks, just not attracted to you' chat.......
naughty maz n den!!!!
xx

19 Oct 2006

We've replied to a similar threadin the past and got massively flamed for saying that we like to play with good looking people - phew - glad we didn't see that on here!
I know that there *are* some couples who prefer the whole experience rather than being that bothered about attractiveness, but we aren't like that - we are actually pretty picky, which is probably why we haven't had as much 'luck' on here as we'd like (thank God for pulling in real life too, eh?! lol)
Anyway, in answer to the 'how to let people down nicely' part of the thread - just saying that they aren't really what you are looking for usually goes the distance, although making up more elaborate tales can help if people are particuarly pushy.. we've found it best to be honest though - people appreciate that!
T&L x

20 Oct 2006

We have had a few problems meeting peeps off here unfortunatley redface

as alot of people say "Oh id love to **** or whatever with mrs young swinger, but when they c my partner they tend to say thanx but no thanx, hes not the best looking bloke around, we both no that but he has one hell of a personality, so no i dont think looks matter, im attracted to peoples personalities more than looks.

20 Oct 2006

For me it has to be both looks and personality. But you can find somebody a lot more attractive once you get to know them of course. If it's a one-off then you don't have time to get to know that person, then I'm purely judging aesthetically.

20 Oct 2006

Quote by Kiss
For me it has to be both looks and personality. But you can find somebody a lot more attractive once you get to know them of course. If it's a one-off then you don't have time to get to know that person, then I'm purely judging aesthetically.

Same here. It has to be a mix of the two for me. They have to be able to turn my mind on as well as the rest of me :giggle:

20 Oct 2006

actually looks are importent, if people are poser types who love themselves far too much im not interested. I like real down to earth people with personality.
Besides justv because someone is not one of the so called "beautiful one's" it doesnt mean they are less passionate or exciting to be with.
In fact there are many people thought of as being classicly attractive who i consider bland in the face, and on the other hand sometimes a "plain jane" can have the most gorgeous smile if given a chance to shine.

20 Oct 2006

Quote by easyease
Besides justv because someone is not one of the so called "beautiful one's" it doesnt mean they are less passionate or exciting to be with.
In fact there are many people thought of as being classicly attractive who i consider bland in the face, and on the other hand sometimes a "plain jane" can have the most gorgeous smile if given a chance to shine.

I Compleatly agree wink

20 Oct 2006

Hi all
as a single bloke, things can be tough out there. To answer the original question, how do you let people down gently?
Personally I would prefer a sorry not my type, than endless email ping pong where it becomes frustrating for both sides and meeting up and having that nasty pause, as you fail to click is even worse. I figure the swing is a community and there is a not unreasonable chance that you bump in to people at clubs, parties and online so even if you don't fancy people for sex they can become friends.
As for the attractive thing, asking for attractive is like asking for an EGO, same things with a lot of the BIG guys out there biggrin

, us mere mortals have to make an effort.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, for me its more a personality thing than a body shape, over the years I have dated Tall skinny women and short BBW's and a fair few in betweens, always had fun.
As for Young couples problem I'm not there for the bloke cool

one of my good mates is a 30 stone bearded monster, but is one of the most genuine people I know.
Stay Safe, have Fun
T_CRA xxx

20 Oct 2006

Quote by steanrachy
Hi guys,
we have had an advert on SH for about 18months now and in it we state that we are looking for "people who take care of themselves and their appearance, we are not looking for super models..." etc.
We were wondering how important are looks in your swinging meets? as in our opinion (and it is purely OURS) a sucessful meet up must contain some level of sexual attraction, is this the same for the majority of SH swingers?
How do you go about telling a couple you may have chatted to for a few weeks that you do not fancy them when they send a pic?
Or do some members meet people and are not bothered about sexual or physical attraction?
Has got our little mouse like brains a - pulsing with intrigue!!

ther is two answere here in one question in clubbing sorry but its all about atraction u fancy them they fancy u so lets do it ,but in pvt meets its more about fun and compatabilaty physical atraction has nothign to do with it with us if we meet pple who make us smile or laugh then that is the best aphrodisiak

21 Oct 2006

Quote by fabio grooverider
Hi guys,
we have had an advert on SH for about 18months now and in it we state that we are looking for "people who take care of themselves and their appearance, we are not looking for super models..." etc.
We were wondering how important are looks in your swinging meets? as in our opinion (and it is purely OURS) a sucessful meet up must contain some level of sexual attraction, is this the same for the majority of SH swingers?
How do you go about telling a couple you may have chatted to for a few weeks that you do not fancy them when they send a pic?
Or do some members meet people and are not bothered about sexual or physical attraction?
Has got our little mouse like brains a - pulsing with intrigue!!

the bit in bold is the bit that took my notice....
i think you are right..... there does have to be some some of sexual attraction..
but how do you define "sexual attraction"????
are you just talking about physical attraction....
for me "sexual" attraction is a mixture of both the mental and the physical... such as the looks are fine, but the brain will keep me there, and keep me wanting to come back for more........think you get sum pics thru think oh yes looks ok,you have to actually meet people to see what they are like ,to see if you get that spark with them if both sets bounce off each other then thats a good start,thats why we like to meet up with people to see if we get on then go home have a chat about the meet,not being picky just donnt want to jump in feet first,we have met some people and ended up as good socially freinds ,then again some have been huffed because we did not want to meet up for playfull fun and dont really want anything to do socially again ,dragging away here lol ,yes you have to be attracted in some way either by looks or whatever ,for us its a bit of looks but got to have a good personality and like having a laugh theres to many that think that your on a swinging site thats you either defo up for a shag or should be and cant understand the meaning "no sorry you dont do it for me"