Trying to make an interesting topic for a change, I slept on this one last night, and thought maybe not to post, and then thought why not? Not a dig to anyone, but just to clarify what the mind sees PRIOR to the eye...is it that important in the end?
Before the days of the internet and instant pictures, we had newspaper meets and phonecalls. I pondered on this today because something a friend said yesterday? I think we talk to someone, and get to know them and then it becomes a really interesting two way thing. Talking to the person makes the imagination flow? We wonder what they look like, and sometimes the voice is so very alluring, and we look forward to the meet. However I would like to ask IF you thought from a pm chat AND many laughs on the forum, with NO picture to pass on, would you meet someone and decide that they were NOT for you just by the looks alone? I think if you have gone to the trouble to talk and meet, then to refuse on a sight thing is a little bit sad? I am NOT on about someone who says they are slim and turn out to be HUGE, or someone who says they are well dressed, and turn up like the tramp off the street, but someone YOU really wanted to sleep with before you met? I am talking too about someone who was honest and up front with you from the offset? What many forget is when you talk on here via pm, you talk to the inner person, the one who is keen to screw your brains out, the flirt, the really hot person with few inhibitions. Sometimes the voice is so cool, sexy and makes the hairs on the neck tingle with anticipation, so where then does the meet break down?
I have not had this situation before but know of a few who have been rebuffed after some time talking and after the picture...zilch! I have sent a couple out to those who I class as friends and I do not fit into their categories, just to show WHO I am, and have had nice comments back, but I know some are really hurt by this form of neglect? Would the blind person reject the person who they liked because they were told she/he was ugly?
I think many of you will agree that we are all the same in the dark, but it is FINE to say no if you find them not your type, but just on looks when everything else clicks to me seems a little bit harsh? I sometimes fail to understand people and thought to ask if anyone had EVER been down this path before?
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Looks
That I can understand and it is fine because in the end nothing is guaranteed. I was just hoping to get the ethos on a LOOKS only failing? I suppose a chat live and a meal/drink is cool, but if the person is as they said would you then say NO WAY because they were not who you imagined? I know from years of radio usage, we all vision the voice, but they seldom are who we perceive them to be?
Sex God
it is a very interesting topic....i suppose because i have had ads on dating sites, it is something that i have gotten use to because as much as i hate to see it happen, a hell of a lot of people do judge on looks... not saying it is right or wrong... but they do...
i just find it sad that people do and at first it did knock my confidence (being the shy retiring wallflower i was back then). now it is a case of take me as i am.. if you want to get to know then good... if not then that is not my problem and if you are being that shallow then a) you are missing out on a good person and b) i'd rather not know you anyway
i. like denisebabe, have talk to people for a while and then change when you see them face to face... but i put that down to a lot of nerves....and the fact you can be a lot bolder and braver when you are miles away down the end of a computer.....and not staring into the other persons eyes.....
sean xxxxxx
i just find it sad that people do and at first it did knock my confidence (being the shy retiring wallflower i was back then). now it is a case of take me as i am.. if you want to get to know then good... if not then that is not my problem and if you are being that shallow then a) you are missing out on a good person and b) i'd rather not know you anyway
i. like denisebabe, have talk to people for a while and then change when you see them face to face... but i put that down to a lot of nerves....and the fact you can be a lot bolder and braver when you are miles away down the end of a computer.....and not staring into the other persons eyes.....
sean xxxxxx
Sex God
i find it really difficult to answer this...
if i was looking just for a one off sex session.. then i would go purely on physical attraction.. but i dont, to me its more about clicking as a person... though i could not play/WOULD not play with someone who physically repulsed me.
on here i find most of the people i have contact with i do not even think of as potential sexul partners.. more friends.. so in that way the looks thing is not important.. though i do like to see what they look like.... purely out of curiosity i guess.
rocky horror and i have swapped pics.... due to the fact that we have chatted on here for quite a long time.. and its nice to put a face to the name.. and to see if the pic that you inevitably have in your mind is anything like the reality.
if i was looking just for a one off sex session.. then i would go purely on physical attraction.. but i dont, to me its more about clicking as a person... though i could not play/WOULD not play with someone who physically repulsed me.
on here i find most of the people i have contact with i do not even think of as potential sexul partners.. more friends.. so in that way the looks thing is not important.. though i do like to see what they look like.... purely out of curiosity i guess.
rocky horror and i have swapped pics.... due to the fact that we have chatted on here for quite a long time.. and its nice to put a face to the name.. and to see if the pic that you inevitably have in your mind is anything like the reality.
Sex God
Quote by DeniseBabe
I find its generally manerisms that put me off. The person can be all chatty and giggly and hold their own via email, pm etc..... yet when you meet them they are shy timid and clumsy and fail to even make you smile like they once did.
I think establishing that one has a sense of humour or strong personality for example would deter the other person from dismissing you on just looks out of hand. I believe what you are describng is a change that some people undergo when they find themselves in a different environment. There is not much which is similar to posting and chatting on this medium. Face to face alone is a completely different proposition. But if you meet up in a large group like a munch then it is probably closer to the Forum and people will tend to behave the same as on here.
I think what has been put is a general reaction..sometimes looks are that important. All point taken. Busty and me swapped pics a few weeks ago, as we had been having a laugh...not in anyway because of compatabilities but generally for the fact we pondered on who we spoke to/? I can say I had sort of got her idea right, and the smile alone was proof! NO it was just a social pic...not horny stuff, but I think we are prone to looks in some ways, and some more than others.
Sex God
I also have the view that there has to be a visual attraction before things can progress.
Unfortunately it's in our genes. The blokes are preprogrammed to find the most fertile female (which is why the majority go for nice legs, a bit of butt and a nice pair of boobs).
Women tend to go for someone who is capable of "looking after" them whether that be physically, financially or whatever.
Men tend to rely more on their base instincts, which makes them more visually stimulated (look at the number of mens magazines available) and women usually need some mental stimulation as well.
Before you all lynch me, this is a sweeping generalism and obviously people are individuals so the theory may not apply directly to you (but I bet it does to most of you on some level)
So the question is what do you ladies go for? The beefcake male-model, with no brain and no personality. Or the guy who is avarage looking and has a good personality (and a five-figure annual sallery)?
Guys do you go for the really hot girl who's a bit dim, or the plain-jane who is extremely interesting?
Now......where's my can-of-worms picture?......
Ah :!:
Me? Well I like shapely women. Women that "look" correctly proportioned if you know what I mean.
:? :? :?
Unfortunately it's in our genes. The blokes are preprogrammed to find the most fertile female (which is why the majority go for nice legs, a bit of butt and a nice pair of boobs).
Women tend to go for someone who is capable of "looking after" them whether that be physically, financially or whatever.
Men tend to rely more on their base instincts, which makes them more visually stimulated (look at the number of mens magazines available) and women usually need some mental stimulation as well.
Before you all lynch me, this is a sweeping generalism and obviously people are individuals so the theory may not apply directly to you (but I bet it does to most of you on some level)
So the question is what do you ladies go for? The beefcake male-model, with no brain and no personality. Or the guy who is avarage looking and has a good personality (and a five-figure annual sallery)?
Guys do you go for the really hot girl who's a bit dim, or the plain-jane who is extremely interesting?
Now......where's my can-of-worms picture?......
Ah :!:
Me? Well I like shapely women. Women that "look" correctly proportioned if you know what I mean.
:? :? :? Very interesting thread here rocky.
Well as have said in another thread we havent met more than one couple from here face to face.
I honestly believe that your not going to come across exactly the same way in person as you do on emails and pms etc.I know myself that i can flirt like mad on here but am a lot more shy in person
As for looks i really believe that if your attracted to someone just from chatting to them the it really doesnt matter what they look like.
Attraction for me is much deeper than looks.A bloke could look like Brad Pitt but bore me witless chatting,so whats the point???
In certain cases if the looks match the way the person comes across then fantastic.
But unless theyve got a three foot nose then i think it really doesnt matter.
For me swinging is about meeting people from all walks of life,in all situations,all sizes and shapes,and definately all kinds of looks.
Clare,xxx
Well as have said in another thread we havent met more than one couple from here face to face.
I honestly believe that your not going to come across exactly the same way in person as you do on emails and pms etc.I know myself that i can flirt like mad on here but am a lot more shy in person
As for looks i really believe that if your attracted to someone just from chatting to them the it really doesnt matter what they look like.
Attraction for me is much deeper than looks.A bloke could look like Brad Pitt but bore me witless chatting,so whats the point???
In certain cases if the looks match the way the person comes across then fantastic.
But unless theyve got a three foot nose then i think it really doesnt matter.
For me swinging is about meeting people from all walks of life,in all situations,all sizes and shapes,and definately all kinds of looks.
Clare,xxx
Quote by easy
Guys do you go for the really hot girl who's a bit dim, or the plain-jane who is extremely interesting?
Both at once please, especially if the clever one is dom and the hot one sub ;-)
Seriously though, it's ALWAYS a lot more complex than just looks - why is the hot girl interested in plain old me? Is Miss Interesting one of those people who is so intellectual that she can't let go and be a bit animal when the mood takes her?
Orgasminator
as look would have it some hot girls arent a bit dim and some plain janes to you are hot as hell to others, seems like mother nature has got this one sussed, so if there is a sparkle which ever way you look at it you say hey ho lets go.
imo
imo
ISpeaking for myself, don't think looks are very unimportant at all in the scale of things
It all depends if you 'click'.
OK - on first impressions, before you get to know someone, you probably go on looks - after all isn't that why people exchange photos? But you should never judge someone by that alone. I must admit to actually being put off by those whose first photos are a little blatant though (even if they have the body of a greek god - mind you I'm still to receive one of those)
A good personality, the ability to see the funny side and not forgetting good personal hygeine are far more important and far more attractive to me.
I've said many many times......
A twinkle in the eye (preferably if there are 2 of them) and a warm smile are the things that melt me.
All that said - we are all different in what makes us tick.
Hugs, Alex x x
It all depends if you 'click'.
OK - on first impressions, before you get to know someone, you probably go on looks - after all isn't that why people exchange photos? But you should never judge someone by that alone. I must admit to actually being put off by those whose first photos are a little blatant though (even if they have the body of a greek god - mind you I'm still to receive one of those)
A good personality, the ability to see the funny side and not forgetting good personal hygeine are far more important and far more attractive to me.
I've said many many times......
A twinkle in the eye (preferably if there are 2 of them) and a warm smile are the things that melt me.
All that said - we are all different in what makes us tick.
Hugs, Alex x x
Sex God
Hmmmm, thought provoking indeed 
I've gone away and thought about this one and come back none the wiser really :shock:
As someone who used to meet men from the Internet for sex without WANTING to see their pic (if they offered to send one I said don't do it, if they sent one in the first email I ignored it :shock: ), I find this topic quite confusing now. Back in those days I didn't even want to speak on the phone first, so the meet was a total "blank slate". It was much more exciting that way :shock: 8-) . However, having said that I would ask for a brief written description of their looks, just to check they weren't a gorilla in a dinner suit :wink:
Now, when I place an ad I insist on a body pic, a face pic isn't necessay but a body pic is, and if they can't send one I don't meet them - simple as. To be honest, I wouldn't really care, it's my prtner who's more choosy than me
:wink: . If I had been chatting to someone via PM or email and we got on OK, if I was planning to meet them on their own, I probably wouldn't even ask for a pic. Looks really aren't that important. In clubs, I'll shag owt (you first it here first, guys :wink: ) - well, no that's not true, someone who's 25 stone, as hairy as fuck and stinks like piggie poo has no chance......
Errrrrrr, to cut a long story short, yes I find some people more attractive than others, but I'm quite happy to shag someone I don't fancy, I've had an ace time with some right ugly fuckers and don't regret it at all :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: .
What was the question again....?
I've gone away and thought about this one and come back none the wiser really :shock:
As someone who used to meet men from the Internet for sex without WANTING to see their pic (if they offered to send one I said don't do it, if they sent one in the first email I ignored it :shock: ), I find this topic quite confusing now. Back in those days I didn't even want to speak on the phone first, so the meet was a total "blank slate". It was much more exciting that way :shock: 8-)
. However, having said that I would ask for a brief written description of their looks, just to check they weren't a gorilla in a dinner suit :wink: Now, when I place an ad I insist on a body pic, a face pic isn't necessay but a body pic is, and if they can't send one I don't meet them - simple as. To be honest, I wouldn't really care, it's my prtner who's more choosy than me
:wink: . If I had been chatting to someone via PM or email and we got on OK, if I was planning to meet them on their own, I probably wouldn't even ask for a pic. Looks really aren't that important. In clubs, I'll shag owt (you first it here first, guys :wink: ) - well, no that's not true, someone who's 25 stone, as hairy as fuck and stinks like piggie poo has no chance......Errrrrrr, to cut a long story short, yes I find some people more attractive than others, but I'm quite happy to shag someone I don't fancy, I've had an ace time with some right ugly fuckers and don't regret it at all :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: .
What was the question again....?
each to his/her own seems to spring to mind 
however does everybody read only the posts with photos and ignore the ones without? most the time i do and its ironic as i would never put my own photo up cuz i'm a coward.
plus i don't seem to have any where i ain't pissed of my face with at least 2 other people in the photo and i noticed that when i drink i have some sort of open mouthed syndrome that makes you look an complete moron :o <--- kinda like that
however does everybody read only the posts with photos and ignore the ones without? most the time i do and its ironic as i would never put my own photo up cuz i'm a coward.
plus i don't seem to have any where i ain't pissed of my face with at least 2 other people in the photo and i noticed that when i drink i have some sort of open mouthed syndrome that makes you look an complete moron :o <--- kinda like that
Attraction is a very person and individual thing.
When talking to people online, you may build up a picture in your imagination as to what they may or may not look like, and when you see a picture of what they actually look like, the two may not correspond and dissappointment can set it.
Also you be attracted to their personality, think their funny, witty etc, then see their picture, if you dont find them attractive, you just dont and nothing can change that.
If you do meet, and their is no attraction or you dont "click", again, attraction is a personal thing.
As human beings, our feelings can be easily hurt, so the best way to deal with it is to be honest and upfront and in a sensitive manner.
When talking to people online, you may build up a picture in your imagination as to what they may or may not look like, and when you see a picture of what they actually look like, the two may not correspond and dissappointment can set it.
Also you be attracted to their personality, think their funny, witty etc, then see their picture, if you dont find them attractive, you just dont and nothing can change that.
If you do meet, and their is no attraction or you dont "click", again, attraction is a personal thing.
As human beings, our feelings can be easily hurt, so the best way to deal with it is to be honest and upfront and in a sensitive manner.
Really interesting topic........
Although Im not in the *swinging scene* so can't speak from that perspective I have met people from the net. From my experience I found it true that you can chat (on the net) to someone for a long time without seeing a pic or meeting and divulge some of your innner most thoughts and feelings to them The written word can be a very powerful tool.....some people can express themselves really well in the written word, have a great sense of humour, similar interests etc others you may need to draw them out and get to know them better for a longer period of time.
I *used* to always refuse a pic (never set out to actually meet people at first) to see the whom I was chatting to for the fear of how I would feel. I was worried that it wouldn't quite be the same (either way).......and I valued the friendships I had made and didnt want to lose them.
Our minds visualise the people we are chatting to and I always believed that in reality it just wouldnt match the mental picture I had. After a while I did accept a few pics and found it so nerve racking. Yes, sometimes I did find that I wasn't attracted to them and the face I had imagined didn't match at all. At other times I was very surprised....... I'd been chatting to hunk all this time!!!!!!
:D :D
When I dd pluck up the courage to meet someone that I had talked to for many months, seen a pic of etc body language, facial expressions, little quirks that people have can make a difference and help make a decision on taking it further or not.
For me, I go for a good sense of humour, personality, the voice, eyes, smile.........mmmmmmm sometmes that little look someone gives without knowing it (a cute sexy butt helps too hehee) :wink: :wink:
Right, Ive rattled on enough for now........ big hello to everyone :D
xanaisx
goes off to dream of a cute sexy butt xxxxx
Although Im not in the *swinging scene* so can't speak from that perspective I have met people from the net. From my experience I found it true that you can chat (on the net) to someone for a long time without seeing a pic or meeting and divulge some of your innner most thoughts and feelings to them The written word can be a very powerful tool.....some people can express themselves really well in the written word, have a great sense of humour, similar interests etc others you may need to draw them out and get to know them better for a longer period of time.
I *used* to always refuse a pic (never set out to actually meet people at first) to see the whom I was chatting to for the fear of how I would feel. I was worried that it wouldn't quite be the same (either way).......and I valued the friendships I had made and didnt want to lose them.
Our minds visualise the people we are chatting to and I always believed that in reality it just wouldnt match the mental picture I had. After a while I did accept a few pics and found it so nerve racking. Yes, sometimes I did find that I wasn't attracted to them and the face I had imagined didn't match at all. At other times I was very surprised....... I'd been chatting to hunk all this time!!!!!!
:D :D When I dd pluck up the courage to meet someone that I had talked to for many months, seen a pic of etc body language, facial expressions, little quirks that people have can make a difference and help make a decision on taking it further or not.
For me, I go for a good sense of humour, personality, the voice, eyes, smile.........mmmmmmm sometmes that little look someone gives without knowing it (a cute sexy butt helps too hehee)
:wink: :wink: Right, Ive rattled on enough for now........ big hello to everyone :D
xanaisx
goes off to dream of a cute sexy butt xxxxx
Quote by rocky horror
Trying to make an interesting topic for a change, I slept on this one last night, and thought maybe not to post, and then thought why not? Not a dig to anyone, but just to clarify what the mind sees PRIOR to the eye...is it that important in the end?
Before the days of the internet and instant pictures, we had newspaper meets and phonecalls. I pondered on this today because something a friend said yesterday? I think we talk to someone, and get to know them and then it becomes a really interesting two way thing. Talking to the person makes the imagination flow? We wonder what they look like, and sometimes the voice is so very alluring, and we look forward to the meet. However I would like to ask IF you thought from a pm chat AND many laughs on the forum, with NO picture to pass on, would you meet someone and decide that they were NOT for you just by the looks alone? I think if you have gone to the trouble to talk and meet, then to refuse on a sight thing is a little bit sad? I am NOT on about someone who says they are slim and turn out to be HUGE, or someone who says they are well dressed, and turn up like the tramp off the street, but someone YOU really wanted to sleep with before you met? I am talking too about someone who was honest and up front with you from the offset? What many forget is when you talk on here via pm, you talk to the inner person, the one who is keen to screw your brains out, the flirt, the really hot person with few inhibitions. Sometimes the voice is so cool, sexy and makes the hairs on the neck tingle with anticipation, so where then does the meet break down?
I have not had this situation before but know of a few who have been rebuffed after some time talking and after the picture...zilch! I have sent a couple out to those who I class as friends and I do not fit into their categories, just to show WHO I am, and have had nice comments back, but I know some are really hurt by this form of neglect? Would the blind person reject the person who they liked because they were told she/he was ugly?
I think many of you will agree that we are all the same in the dark, but it is FINE to say no if you find them not your type, but just on looks when everything else clicks to me seems a little bit harsh? I sometimes fail to understand people and thought to ask if anyone had EVER been down this path before?
WOW, I thought those were real strong words and they have such meaning. I have a hell of a complex about my size and therefore have always been waery of advertising or really making contact. I fear meeting someone or some people and being turned away. I dont think I would ever turn someone away or change my mind after all the PM's and calls ETC. If I ran an add and someone came to meet me and had lied about questions I asked then it would be a different story, and the only thing that I would request in the add that I wouldnt want to go with a smoker (no offence ment to smokers, I have since a child never been able to kiss a smoker, and I love to kiss).
But thats just my opinion.
zim :taz:
Hmmm interesting point Rocky......
Looks don't mean anything to me I'm afraid......if someone has stimulated my mind and my heart (sorry, me being soppy again) then I automatically fancy them.....
I recently met someone that is Sooooooo not my type.....but I found him incredibly sexy because I had spent about a year talking to him online and on the phone and I knew him really really well......
So looks aren't that important to me......personality matters much more to me than anything else....
Looks don't mean anything to me I'm afraid......if someone has stimulated my mind and my heart (sorry, me being soppy again) then I automatically fancy them.....
I recently met someone that is Sooooooo not my type.....but I found him incredibly sexy because I had spent about a year talking to him online and on the phone and I knew him really really well......
So looks aren't that important to me......personality matters much more to me than anything else....
Quote by DeniseBabe
I spoke to a guy on line and via telephone for ages b4 we met.... we didnt swop pics but he compared himself to Alfie Moon......... by looks and personality.
I turnt up and there he was and straight away i wanted to hide, sorry if it sounds shallow but im expressing my view.
We went to the pub where the barman got the drinks all wrong... he accepted it...... we went for dinner... that was cold... he said nothing, i felt like i was the only one out of the two of us with any back bone. Yes im a strong minded woman but i do like a man to take a mans role (old fashioned i know) i was miffed that he wanted me to eat a cold meal and say nothing, well as it goes i didnt and i did say something, got our money back plus the meal free.... and no one say here that they spat in it.
Well we ended up back in the pub....... i was trying to not upset this guy.... so was being the date i was expected to be, he suddenly got all shirty told me he wasnt good enough for me that he was out of my league and stormed off. Now if i had of known he wouldnt apreciate me being hospitable i would have run when i met him....... you cant sodding win!!!!
Ps it was MAGIK...... pmsl
What denise?..Pub?..i think you have me mixed up with that Geeza who you made wash his cock!
