Wow, I haven't made a very good start on here have I!
Firstly, the reason my initial post didn't mention the fact that I'm married was because I didn't think it was relevant. I was only asking if the wording used by my colleague was him letting me down gently, as I think it was.
I don't want a relationship with this man. We were drunk, we had some passionate kisses and I was attracted to him and would like things to go further. As in I would like to sleep with him, maybe once, maybe more I don't know, but in a purely nsa way. I have no intention of leaving my husband for him. Also, I know its stupid of me but I am an insecure person, and I want this guy to fancy me, I guess for my own self approval. And be interested in me (in a sexual way), because I want to sleep with him, and also because I don't want him to think 'What was I doing with her?'.
As for my husband, I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. Unfortunately, we didn't live together until we married, and have now discovered our sexual desires and drives are very different. He only wants it maybe once a fortnight if I'm lucky, whereas I'm pretty much at a constant. He likes straightforward sex, i'd like to experiment. We had a chat over dinner a few weeks ago and he said he doubts it'll ever be any different. He said fi I wanted to leave him because of this its ok, and I said no. He then suggested (note his idea, not mine) that I maybe look elsewhere. He gave me some rules, but the general gist was as long as I'm safe and he doesn't get the details, he's happy. So it is really an attempt to keep us together, not split us up. And this work guy is the only person I've even looked at since meeting my husband, so thats a bit of a big deal for me at the moment.
I do see how one of my posts trivialised my marriage, but that was only the badly worded way I put it. I take my relationship seriously and I would never do anything to hurt my husband. I can only apologise if anyone took offence to that.
I didn't assume anyone was a 'cheating swinger' or that because this is a swinging site, people would approve, or even not approve. But at the same time I assumed people would reply only to what I wrote in my post. It didn't even occur to me that anyone would bother to check my marital status, or criticise, as noone knows anything about me or my marriage to approve or criticise it.
I'm sorry if any of you see this as a plea for approval (its not) or a sympathy shag post (I don't get that bit?). I don't want your approval, or much care for it, as only I truly know my situation. And although my husband doesn't know about my colleague specifically, that is at his request I'm not doing anything behind his back. He does by the way know I am member of this site, although I choose not to go on here when he's around because i don't want to rub it in his face.
If you think I'm a bad person thats fine. I don't want an argument with anyone, and I don't want anyone criticising my marriage as thats not why I posted.
Those of you who did post advice, thank you, it is greatly appreciated. And I have decided to let it be - maybe a colleague isn't the way to go.
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Man advice needed
Sex God
Good post petal
nuf said :thumbup:
nuf said :thumbup:
Petal, I am in the same situation as you - I had the same conversation with my partner as u did with yours, and came to the same conclusion. It wouldnt work for everyone, but it works very well for us. Thanks for your post, I think there are maybe a lot of people in a similar situation
Cherryxxx
Cherryxxx
Sexlightened
Quote by Pete_sw
Good post petal
nuf said :thumbup:
Agree 100% there Petal
Look carefully and look truthfully
Sex God
Quote by petal24
Wow! I was expecting to get lynched!
No,nobody wants to lynch you or anybody at all on here I'd hope!Its a very broad church.
We each have our story as why we do what we 've all done things that we maybe shouldn't have,I know I have!
If you or a married guy in your situation have their partners blessing then thats a very different scenario to if you're decieving them behind their back.
You didn't owe anybody here any explaination but you have explained with great frankness Petal,good on you.
Sex God
But not every piece of advice on any thread is going to positive.... if you put something out there on open forum hundreds of people will have hundreds of opinions... it is human nature without knowing the whole story....... and this is the first time i have read this thread, because half way thru it it sounded a lot different than it does now....
But what Manolishi said is an interesting one.....if it has been a married guy who has said what she did, he would have been flamed, and then when they have said what petal has said in reply, would they have them been so tolerant for want of a better word.... i don't think so
sean xxxxx
But what Manolishi said is an interesting one.....if it has been a married guy who has said what she did, he would have been flamed, and then when they have said what petal has said in reply, would they have them been so tolerant for want of a better word.... i don't think so
sean xxxxx
Quote by fabio grooverider
But what Manolishi said is an interesting one.....if it has been a married guy who has said what she did, he would have been flamed, and then when they have said what petal has said in reply, would they have them been so tolerant for want of a better word.... i don't think so
sean xxxxx
this was my point too, i couldnt give a flying fluck what you do petal, your marriage is your business and good luck to you!
i just dont beleive a man saying the same thing would get such a welcoming/accepting reception
Quote by sexkittenhfx
But what Manolishi said is an interesting one.....if it has been a married guy who has said what she did, he would have been flamed, and then when they have said what petal has said in reply, would they have them been so tolerant for want of a better word.... i don't think so
sean xxxxx
this was my point too, i couldnt give a flying fluck what you do petal, your marriage is your business and good luck to you!
i just dont beleive a man saying the same thing would get such a welcoming/accepting reception
Let's face it - a man would not only have been placed on a large pile of wood ready to burn.... even with a reply similar to the one by Petal, the sceptics would still be striking matches (probably myself included - for reasons stated earlier)
Quote by petal24
Wow, I haven't made a very good start on here have I!
Firstly, the reason my initial post didn't mention the fact that I'm married was because I didn't think it was relevant. I was only asking if the wording used by my colleague was him letting me down gently, as I think it was.
I don't want a relationship with this man. We were drunk, we had some passionate kisses and I was attracted to him and would like things to go further. As in I would like to sleep with him, maybe once, maybe more I don't know, but in a purely nsa way...
Quote by PoloLady
....
Petal.. if you have your husband’s consent to ‘do your own thing’ – then fair enough - my advice would be as before …. Don’t shit on your own doorstep (and what follows does not apply to you).
Quote by Scandal
I'm sure there'll be someone along with only half the information you all need soon tho
If people had to wait for the full 100% details of every situation before expressing any opinion (generalised or specific) - everyone would have to shut the fuck up permanently and no posts would ever get any replies.
Quote by PoloLady
I'm sure there'll be someone along with only half the information you all need soon tho
If people had to wait for the full 100% details of every situation before expressing any opinion (generalised or specific) - everyone would have to shut the fuck up permanently and no posts would ever get any replies.
that would also mean someone knows everything, instead of claiming they do
some of us do actually have morals.
some of us do actually have good reasons for our opinions.
some of us do actually respond to threads with a fair amount of due consideration.
you can choose to call that hollier than thou if you wish, but it doesn't change my attitude. It is, afterall, an open forum.
H.x
some of us do actually have good reasons for our opinions.
some of us do actually respond to threads with a fair amount of due consideration.
you can choose to call that hollier than thou if you wish, but it doesn't change my attitude. It is, afterall, an open forum.
H.x
on the rare occasions im serious enough to give an opinion, thats all it is, its an opinion, its my thought at the time, but isnt set in stone, my opinion can change, if a better viewpoint is put in front of me
if threads are put up, and people answer, i can see points there that i hadnt considered, and can change my opinion duly
if someone doesnt like my opinion, my PM is always open
if threads are put up, and people answer, i can see points there that i hadnt considered, and can change my opinion duly
if someone doesnt like my opinion, my PM is always open
Quote by Kiss
Why aren't you a proper swinger?
H.x
Because although my gf knows I get up to things from time to time - I have told lies about where I was, who with and why I was away to make life easier. Therefore not in a totally open, honest swinging relationship.
Although I've never told my husband a single lie in the 9 or so years we've been together and I have no secrets from him at all, over the years I've learnt that he doesn't want to hear every little thing that's on my mind as soon as it occurs. I've gradually learnt to hold back a little and talk to him within a day or so about anything that I think is significant.
I've also been learning to hold back a little on my ridiculous obsessive truth telling to everyone else. Sometimes, friends just want reassurance, they don't need to know if the dress they've already bought is 100% perfect. Believe it or not, there are also far fewer times when honesty, which people don't need, just falls out of me randomly because I'm not on my guard.
What does this have to do with Kiss?
I personally could not lie to my husband and would be devastated if I thought he'd lied to me. I'm happy for him to play alone, but he wants me to be present when he plays. He's not happy for me to play alone, so I never will.
There's a world of difference between hiding the fact that you play and not rubbing all the details in your partner's face though. It's not a grey area that I would want in my life, I couldn't cope with the anxiety it would cause me for one thing, but I'd not cast stones at you Kiss.
H
xxxxxxxxx
Quote by petal24
If a guy emails you that he was flattered and that you are a really nice girl it means he's not interested right?
Even if the drunken night before he initiated the kisses?
Just letting me down gently, right?
It means he thinks enough of you to e-mail you. As for any more, what kind of guy is he. I think you will have to ask, or make sure he asks you.
Let him make it clear if he is the bee or the butterfly.
