Manners maketh man?

Not a huge problem I concede but I'm struggling to understand why a total stranger here would first wink us, then reply to the autoresponder (Hi, Whilst I love the attention  I prefer a real mail to a wink, please take a few minutes to make sure that you have read my profile and then why not drop me a personalised message if you think we are looking for the same things) with 2 cock shots and:

"Have you tried scatting on face"

Not so much as a hello or a goodbye, let alone bothering to check our profile to see what we're actually looking for...

Does this 'technique' actually work here these days?     

Ah well, another addition to our block list. 

Have you replied to said stranger?  Perhaps something along the lines of "Yes, it's shit!" 

No, being on our block list rather precludes that but I doubt our correspondent would understand anyway.  ;)

Seriously, why would anyone think that would be an acceptable approach to a complete stranger?  The mind boggles...  

That's certainly one area in which this site has changed greatly from the way it was when we joined.  In some ways it's much better, but basic etiquette seems to be lacking amongst far too many people here and that's very sad indeed. Maybe it's just a sign of the times...

Oh my goodness.  Shocked at that.  Also made me laugh being able to relate fully. Its almost like this one wanted to be rejected and just doing it for shock value. 

I'm regularly perplexed and turned off by an initial email asking "do you like younger men"?  The question itself infers that someone wants to be led and also, my profile is clear on the age range I'm looking for.  However, whilst I'm able to put that down to naivety its the ones that immediately go either straight to do you , can you email, can we chat on etc and when can we meet?  Does that work? Are there those out there that go from one email straight to meet and have a good time?

I want to discreetly flirt, be mentally stimulated, share imaginative and realistic fantasies, tease and be teased, laugh, banter, build a connection, establish common likes.  For me, this is what makes sex great when we do meet and without it then it's just a functional fuck which if I require, I have a huge bagful of battery powered toys and an internet connection!

Gosh thats my rant over and I think I'll add the above paragraph to my profile...you never know, someone might actually read it!

Quote by jjloves
Oh my goodness.  Shocked at that.  Also made me laugh being able to relate fully. Its almost like this one wanted to be rejected and just doing it for shock value. 
I'm regularly perplexed and turned off by an initial email asking "do you like younger men"?  The question itself infers that someone wants to be led and also, my profile is clear on the age range I'm looking for.  However, whilst I'm able to put that down to naivety its the ones that immediately go either straight to do you , can you email, can we chat on etc and when can we meet?  Does that work? Are there those out there that go from one email straight to meet and have a good time?
I want to discreetly flirt, be mentally stimulated, share imaginative and realistic fantasies, tease and be teased, laugh, banter, build a connection, establish common likes.  For me, this is what makes sex great when we do meet and without it then it's just a functional fuck which if I require, I have a huge bagful of battery powered toys and an internet connection!
Gosh thats my rant over and I think I'll add the above paragraph to my profile...you never know, someone might actually read it!

Amen to that!!  :thumbup:

It also doesn't help the genuine guys on here who act respectfully - we all seem to get tarred with the same brush.

Quote by ilikethis
It also doesn't help the genuine guys on here who act respectfully - we all seem to get tarred with the same brush.

Correct.  Having said that it is possible to overcome any 'tarring' by acting in the right way, being polite and respectful. We always respond to polite messages even if the sender isn't quite what we're seeking or is too far away to make meeting regularly impractical. Good luck to you anyway! :thumbup:

...  and some folks don't seem inclined to accept a polite no for an answer:

Received earlier today:

Him:

Looking to treat a husband and wife duo to a lovely meal and night in a fantastic hotel all expenses covered. Wife must be egar to please and let me forfill my fantasies with every part of her. Must follow 3 rules and husband must love to watch his wife forfill my needs. Lovely evening awaits right couple. Wedding ring is a must and open minded to every situation. Willing to travel and spoil the right couple. Happy to help out any way needed xxxzz

Us:

Hi and thanks for the message but this isn't our thing really.

Him:

U sure? U may enjoy it

Us:

She's not looking to fulfil every wish. sorry.

Him:

Rule 1

U must wear all black underwear black high heels and have your foot in my lap from the moment we meet......acceptable? Xxx

Result:

Another name on the block list... lol

And one of my pet hates too.... "forfill" 

Some people just can't take no for an answer, or aren't used to hearing it said to them.  Also a lot of people will cut and paste replies/responses.  

Be vigilant and patient, hopefully everyone will find what they want.  Also possibly on a low scale of probability, some are inexperienced about these things?  I have had my homer simpson moments after writing a message, wishing I reword or phrase something.

I think we have all had these type of messages and as Amir says, we have also sent the ones we really wish we had proof read before clicking the send button. Instinct is one of the greatest tools when using the internet for any king of meets, and usually, if it feels too good to be true, it often is too good to be true. Stay safe, keep plugging on and it really is worth the investment ;)

We all tend to remember the bad experiences. As someone that has been on here too long lol....I'd say majority are pretty cool overall. I get worse emails on Ebay lol

Quote by jjloves
Oh my goodness.  Shocked at that.  Also made me laugh being able to relate fully. Its almost like this one wanted to be rejected and just doing it for shock value. 
I'm regularly perplexed and turned off by an initial email asking "do you like younger men"?  The question itself infers that someone wants to be led and also, my profile is clear on the age range I'm looking for.  However, whilst I'm able to put that down to naivety its the ones that immediately go either straight to do you , can you email, can we chat on etc and when can we meet?  Does that work? Are there those out there that go from one email straight to meet and have a good time?
I want to discreetly flirt, be mentally stimulated, share imaginative and realistic fantasies, tease and be teased, laugh, banter, build a connection, establish common likes.  For me, this is what makes sex great when we do meet and without it then it's just a functional fuck which if I require, I have a huge bagful of battery powered toys and an internet connection!
Gosh thats my rant over and I think I'll add the above paragraph to my profile...you never know, someone might actually read it!

 Smashing rant !

We posted this in another thread (things that piss you off in chat) a couple of weeks ago but having just revisited this thread, it's pertinent here too. This is a copy of a recent chatroom conversation we were unfortunate enough to have recently with a guy who whispered us:

"Him - wow!

Mrs Osemlover - hi

your mrs looks very tasty 

do I lol

oh thats embarrassing haha and yes, yes you do

thanks

im ??? by the way

hi

you happen to like young guys with big cocks?

I like nice guys

im a nice guy, i just happen to be very well endowed aslo

how old are you?

27

ok that's too young for me sorry

thats a shame cos im a nice relaxed guy with a big cock and alot of stamina

I'm sure

id love to give you multiple orgasms

think you're a bit too far away as well as being too young

i travel alot round the UK with work

sorry best of luck anyway

you really dont wanna try my big cock?

there's a bit more to this than that

of course, you should read my veris

that wouldn't make you older

why do you have a prejudice against younger people?

I don't

seems it

really?

yep

there couldn't be another reason?

such as

oh right well that's where your lack of experience shows, I have a son almost your age is that ok?

so? why wouldnt it be?

that's why I don't meet guys your age

your not being asked to sleep with him lol

you've just exemplified why I don't want to meet guys like you who think it's all about dick size and stamina, you'll grow up one day."

...................................................................

Yes folks, there are plenty like this character out there sadly...

We have been swinging on and off for 25 years and it's the most infuriating time in the history of the Internet to find decent respectful guys. We don't go hunting as your profile should tell people who you are and what you want. We have our way of doing things but most are straight in with dick pics and you DP? Internet porn has ruined passionate liaisons.

Just another take on manners/respect which sadly does still arise from time to time - most recently to us this very week. It really is very disappointing to find ourselves having chatted to a guy for a good while and gained sufficient trust to consider meeting only to find he then tries it on by asking Mrs O to do so alone, even suggesting she lie about it to Mr O. WTF is all that about? Are you so arrogant, stupid, deluded or just plain desperate that you have no respect for others?  Ah well, the guy in question is now residing safely amongst all the others on our block list..

Quote by osemlover
Just another take on manners/respect which sadly does still arise from time to time - most recently to us this very week. It really is very disappointing to find ourselves having chatted to a guy for a good while and gained sufficient trust to consider meeting only to find he then tries it on by asking Mrs O to do so alone, even suggesting she lie about it to Mr O. WTF is all that about? Are you so arrogant, stupid, deluded or just plain desperate that you have no respect for others?  Ah well, the guy in question is now residing safely amongst all the others on our block list..

 Another sad indictment of 21st century swinging. We are not prostitutes, we play together because cheating hurts. Inviting someone(s) to join you for a wonderful time should be joyous but sadly some guys don't see that. I tell em to go and have a wank instead lol. 

Quote by Jed100

Quote by osemlover
Just another take on manners/respect which sadly does still arise from time to time - most recently to us this very week. It really is very disappointing to find ourselves having chatted to a guy for a good while and gained sufficient trust to consider meeting only to find he then tries it on by asking Mrs O to do so alone, even suggesting she lie about it to Mr O. WTF is all that about? Are you so arrogant, stupid, deluded or just plain desperate that you have no respect for others?  Ah well, the guy in question is now residing safely amongst all the others on our block list..

 Another sad indictment of 21st century swinging. We are not prostitutes, we play together because cheating hurts. Inviting someone(s) to join you for a wonderful time should be joyous but sadly some guys don't see that. I tell em to go and have a wank instead lol. 

lol

Well they do say "there's n'owt as queer as folk..."   

hello to all. Im new to this type media and communication interchange but I have to say I did look at another swinging site before trying this one. This is a massive improvement in my opinion. People appear to be more polite, open and welcoming without being crude. 

I appreciate the topics of discussion on swingers heaven but manners are still important aren't they. Some things voiced come across as vulgar and brutal. Opening lines like " I want to push him out the way and spunk.... etc." well you've obviously seen it yourself.

It doesn't come across as articulate teasing and sexy does it. I do wonder what people expect to get back from such full a full approach to some one they haven't met.  For me if i wouldn't walk up to a stranger in a bar and say it. I would hope I would apply the same here.