Cock of the Norths post on here regarding his success rate at receiving replies when he responds to an ad is amusing and good humoured.I,m sure hes like me and his long term happiness is in no danger from a lack of I,ve replied to about 20 ads on this site..................and received nothing in terms of replies.
I read ads very carefully,make sure i fit the criteria,take time putting together a mail,send a facial picture where required and hey............nothing
Now in the grand scheme of things i worry not one iota..............im a happy guy and this site and the internet are very small parts of my overall existence.
I suppose there are lots of reasons why people cant have the basic good manners to spend,what?,2 minutes to send a mail saying no thanks,they may have changed their mind,found what they are looking for,think im unsuitable or an uglt so and so who knows.
But whats the big deal about basic good manners............
Single guys take a hammering on here................but show a bit of courtesy to those who have clearly taken some time and
Not by the way directed at anyone who posts here in the cafe,just making a point
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Manners maketh the man
Sex God
it's nice to get a polite thanks but no thanks, but the ratio of single guys to couples and single fems especially means they can easily get 100 - 200 emails a week. every week. even a cut and paste no ta to every mail they get, even only to those that fit the criteria, just ain't practical sometimes, or takes a while to get round to. not so much lack of manners as lack of time.
neil x x x ;)
neil x x x ;)
well none of you lot replied to my wonderful ad :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: (oh and thats what Korriefem said in the Masquerade Ball NOT me 
:lol: :lol: )
I replied to most of the people who answered my ad lol. I admit have just deleted some as they obviously had done a cut and paste job and I just felt deleting was justified. Was interesting though getting replies and seeing how men write on line. The best ones are those who basically write a very chatty response asking nothing of you just being friendly. Now I was very specific in my ad and have no interest in being told size of appendage or how well a man can massage etc as at the end of the day when you dont know someone is that the first thing you would tell someone in a social situation. Now thats not to say socially I havent once asked a man for something straight out and I have never been able to live that down
ops: :oops: :lol: :lol:
Just be yourself, make the other person feel good about themself and may just maybe - have fun anyway
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
:lol: :lol: ) I replied to most of the people who answered my ad lol. I admit have just deleted some as they obviously had done a cut and paste job and I just felt deleting was justified. Was interesting though getting replies and seeing how men write on line. The best ones are those who basically write a very chatty response asking nothing of you just being friendly. Now I was very specific in my ad and have no interest in being told size of appendage or how well a man can massage etc as at the end of the day when you dont know someone is that the first thing you would tell someone in a social situation. Now thats not to say socially I havent once asked a man for something straight out and I have never been able to live that down
ops: :oops: :lol: :lol:Just be yourself, make the other person feel good about themself and may just maybe - have fun anyway
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Quote by neilinleeds
it's nice to get a polite thanks but no thanks, but the ratio of single guys to couples and single fems especially means they can easily get 100 - 200 emails a week. every week. even a cut and paste no ta to every mail they get, even only to those that fit the criteria, just ain't practical sometimes, or takes a while to get round to. not so much lack of manners as lack of time.
neil x x x ;)
I take your point...................but theres a balance NOBODY can find the time to reply.....maybe they should take the ad down and sort through the replies........put it back if they find nothing suitable.
Anyway as i said its no big deal to me,i made the point..........i dont think it will make one iota of difference but hey cest la vie
Sex God
Another thing to bear in mind is the anonymous email system. If you have the anonymous mode "on" then the people who respond to your ad don't know who they are emailing. Once you reply to them with a "thanks but no thanks" they have your email address and are then theoretically able to bombard you with mails.
I did once have an ad in the dim and distant past and in the space of 2 daysreceived over 300 emails :scared: :giveup: . I responded to a few of those who mailed me, but of those that got thanks but no thanks mails, several kept pestering me asking why. Unfortunately this stopped me from responding at all to those I wasn't interested in and this could be another reason why you don't hear anything back
It might actually have been 200 in 3 days, but it was still a helluva lot!!
I did once have an ad in the dim and distant past and in the space of 2 daysreceived over 300 emails :scared: :giveup: . I responded to a few of those who mailed me, but of those that got thanks but no thanks mails, several kept pestering me asking why. Unfortunately this stopped me from responding at all to those I wasn't interested in and this could be another reason why you don't hear anything back
It might actually have been 200 in 3 days, but it was still a helluva lot!!
Sex God
OOh are we doing old addages ? Kewl how about " Spare the rod and spoil the dogger"
or " Give me the boy and ill show you the dogger "
" A couple in the car is worth two in the bush " ?
or " Give me the boy and ill show you the dogger "
" A couple in the car is worth two in the bush " ?
Zorbotic,
Yeah, you're pretty much on the money. I'm not one to turn down NSA sex with beautiful nyhmphomaniacs* but SH is not my only route to such people, and besides meeting such women is only an element of my eventful and multi-faceted existence.
Replying to adverts is something I take time over though, and I always make a effort to select relevent ads, and write a response that is truthful but matchs the criteria. I can understand the numbers involved make replies few and far between, but I'm a tenacious little fucker, and although my quest for an actual meeting remains good-humoured I am now compelled to keep going (and going, and going) till I strike it lucky.
If nothing else you guys should get regular updates of my latest failings, providing numerous opportunities to rip the piss out of me.
The funny thing is that although I am a naive and innocent newbie to swinging sites, I have spent the last nine years using online sex/singles talkers. Most of these were states based, yet I had more luck meeting attractive and interesting women from there (including two who flew over from the states. Yes, really) than I have on here.
I think that the whole system of replying to ads and the male/female ratio does make it a bit of a lottery. On the whole being able to have a real time conversation with a specific girl makes it much easier to shine (ie blag her that you are a sexy, sophisticated man about town).
Ok, on we go then, let's see who's new on the ads today...
Cheers
Cock of the North
*They're twins too, and when they're not craving anal or demanding to swallow cum they are making cups of tea, turning over to Match of the Day and finishing painting down the backs of the radiators. Hey if I'm creating a fantasy I may as well go all the way.
Yeah, you're pretty much on the money. I'm not one to turn down NSA sex with beautiful nyhmphomaniacs* but SH is not my only route to such people, and besides meeting such women is only an element of my eventful and multi-faceted existence.
Replying to adverts is something I take time over though, and I always make a effort to select relevent ads, and write a response that is truthful but matchs the criteria. I can understand the numbers involved make replies few and far between, but I'm a tenacious little fucker, and although my quest for an actual meeting remains good-humoured I am now compelled to keep going (and going, and going) till I strike it lucky.
If nothing else you guys should get regular updates of my latest failings, providing numerous opportunities to rip the piss out of me.
The funny thing is that although I am a naive and innocent newbie to swinging sites, I have spent the last nine years using online sex/singles talkers. Most of these were states based, yet I had more luck meeting attractive and interesting women from there (including two who flew over from the states. Yes, really) than I have on here.
I think that the whole system of replying to ads and the male/female ratio does make it a bit of a lottery. On the whole being able to have a real time conversation with a specific girl makes it much easier to shine (ie blag her that you are a sexy, sophisticated man about town).
Ok, on we go then, let's see who's new on the ads today...
Cheers
Cock of the North
*They're twins too, and when they're not craving anal or demanding to swallow cum they are making cups of tea, turning over to Match of the Day and finishing painting down the backs of the radiators. Hey if I'm creating a fantasy I may as well go all the way.
Quote by zorboticI always find it strange when the question of sending polite refusals comes up. I think Mark posted some figures the other day, something like over 100,000 registered and active users of the ads system accounting for over 80% of the site traffic.
But whats the big deal about basic good manners............
Single guys take a hammering on here................but show a bit of courtesy to those who have clearly taken some time and
Not by the way directed at anyone who posts here in the cafe,just making a point
Over time, we have had maybe 100 people post on here and suggest that users of the ads system could be more polite.
What of the views of the 100,000 or so people who seem to disagree, but cannot be bothered to post on here and say so. Look at it from their possible perspective -
In response to the recent criticism, we, the silent majority, would like to make the following statement:
"We are all quite happy NOT wasting time on pointless polite replies which serve no purpose at all, and why should we change just to meet the unrealistic expectations of a tiny minority of wierdo freaks? If it is courtesy and manners you want - bog off and join a knitting circle. And who the fuck are you to try and judge me because I did not send a reply - you are the one living in cloud cuckoo land! These are Big Boys games - and we play by Big Boys rules. If you don't like it, fuck off and play in your silly cafe."
Perhaps it is simply the case that what you ask for is NOT normal, that those who expect politeness are seen as somewhat weird and eccentric, and those who are polite enough to send a reply, must be naive and as such could be easily influenced - so why not pester them with more e-mails and try and use that politeness to get a shag?
Not aimed at anyone in particular
, just a long way of saying "Perhaps that is just the way it is". Never having posted or replied to an ad, I cannot speak from experience.lhk
Kat
Quote by KitKatI always find it strange when the question of sending polite refusals comes up. I think Mark posted some figures the other day, something like over 100,000 registered and active users of the ads system accounting for over 80% of the site traffic.
But whats the big deal about basic good manners............
Single guys take a hammering on here................but show a bit of courtesy to those who have clearly taken some time and
Not by the way directed at anyone who posts here in the cafe,just making a point
Over time, we have had maybe 100 people post on here and suggest that users of the ads system could be more polite.
What of the views of the 100,000 or so people who seem to disagree, but cannot be bothered to post on here and say so. Look at it from their possible perspective -
In response to the recent criticism, we, the silent majority, would like to make the following statement:
"We are all quite happy NOT wasting time on pointless polite replies which serve no purpose at all, and why should we change just to meet the unrealistic expectations of a tiny minority of wierdo freaks? If it is courtesy and manners you want - bog off and join a knitting circle. And who the fuck are you to try and judge me because I did not send a reply - you are the one living in cloud cuckoo land! These are Big Boys games - and we play by Big Boys rules. If you don't like it, fuck off and play in your silly cafe."
Perhaps it is simply the case that what you ask for is NOT normal, that those who expect politeness are seen as somewhat weird and eccentric, and those who are polite enough to send a reply, must be naive and as such could be easily influenced - so why not pester them with more e-mails and try and use that politeness to get a shag?
Not aimed at anyone in particular
, just a long way of saying "Perhaps that is just the way it is". Never having posted or replied to an ad, I cannot speak from experience.lhk
Kat
Course you are right Kat,that is just the way it is,maybe i wasnt to clear but i accept it and certainly dont lose sleep over it.
It just seems strange that someone who takes the trouble to ask for a well written detailed reply cant be arsed to write and let me know they think im an ugly fucker!
You do read comments about the ignorance of men writing "one liners" and sending cock pics wheres the incentive when you dont get a reply if you take 2 or 20 minutes replying to an ad.?
I suppose all i was trying to say was that there seems a slight case of double standards
Yes - I really meant it when I said 'not aimed at anyone'
I think the ad users that also post in the fora are the type of people who would be polite, and those that don't post in the fora - are not interested in being polite (crass generalisation), and do not see the point of it. But then, why do they make a point of asking for it in their ads?
Double standards about sums it up.
Perhaps we need a new category in the ads "Polite people seeking polite people?" :lol: :lol:
lhk
Kat
I think the ad users that also post in the fora are the type of people who would be polite, and those that don't post in the fora - are not interested in being polite (crass generalisation), and do not see the point of it. But then, why do they make a point of asking for it in their ads?
Double standards about sums it up.
Perhaps we need a new category in the ads "Polite people seeking polite people?"
:lol: :lol: lhk
Kat
Before using the internet, I met several women through conventional dating sites. The good old days of Basildon Bond etc. Most encounters led to sex on the second or third date. The relationships included and satisfied a variety of sexual needs on both sides. I also explored swinging mags like Forum. These also resulted in some advanced activities. I liked couples, but the guys were not bi enough to do anything.
I just thought that maybe we are missing a lot without hand writing . I know there is a science about this, graphology, so I suppose there must be a lot of information put across that helps in establishing a relationship. Or is this just a dumb idea? You still can't beat being somewhere long enough and finding out that someone fancies you. After all, surprise is everything.
I have spent many hours emailing over the last 2 years. I have had sex with 1 woman, 2 tv/cd, missed 2 gang bangs when my mobile was switched off, but also had many long chats and web cam sessions with some women and tv/cd.
I am actually more pissed off if I do get a polite no thanks, because my hopes are instantly crushed. There is also the other 'you're on our list of hopefuls' reply, which is equally dissapointing. But that's just me and my feelings.
In a recent series of drunken emailings I was quite blunt and offensive. However I got several responses, which led to long chats and a few more piccies. So, is that the way to go? Probably not advisable. But it was quite surprising how good I felt about making a breakthrough.
Like most sex, its nearly all in my mind. When I can forget it in those brief orgasmic moments, it does me the most good. Then it all comes flooding back, the desire, the unfulfilled longings..............................
I just thought that maybe we are missing a lot without hand writing . I know there is a science about this, graphology, so I suppose there must be a lot of information put across that helps in establishing a relationship. Or is this just a dumb idea? You still can't beat being somewhere long enough and finding out that someone fancies you. After all, surprise is everything.
I have spent many hours emailing over the last 2 years. I have had sex with 1 woman, 2 tv/cd, missed 2 gang bangs when my mobile was switched off, but also had many long chats and web cam sessions with some women and tv/cd.
I am actually more pissed off if I do get a polite no thanks, because my hopes are instantly crushed. There is also the other 'you're on our list of hopefuls' reply, which is equally dissapointing. But that's just me and my feelings.
In a recent series of drunken emailings I was quite blunt and offensive. However I got several responses, which led to long chats and a few more piccies. So, is that the way to go? Probably not advisable. But it was quite surprising how good I felt about making a breakthrough.
Like most sex, its nearly all in my mind. When I can forget it in those brief orgasmic moments, it does me the most good. Then it all comes flooding back, the desire, the unfulfilled longings..............................
Sex God
Quote by duncanlondon
I am actually more pissed off if I do get a polite no thanks, because my hopes are instantly crushed. There is also the other 'you're on our list of hopefuls' reply, which is equally dissapointing
Damn
. So the half hour I've just spent sending 20 polite "thanks but no thanks" emails, and the couple of "you sound interesting, I may be in touch in future" emails have just been a waste :doh: . And I thought I was being nice to the guys who had bothered to send me nice replies. For the ad I've just placed I have replied to everyone, unless they sent something totally irrelevant and laughable, or if they were from Africa :shock:
... I think most people do appreciate the "thanks but no thanks" reply, don't they - at least they're not waiting for an invite that never arrives 
Mod
I occasionally reply to ads that I notice when Modding, but as soon as I have sent my email, I've forgotten all about them and never expect to hear from them again. If I do, it's a very pleasant surprise (I love surprises!! ) That way I can't dwell on the negativity of not getting a reply and I can get on with my life. Even the two ads in my sig haven't elicited one response, but that would be one more than I would expect!
To be honest, ALL the fun I get from this Site comes from the forums and I find it a much better way of really getting to know folk before you take it to the next level.
The fun's there for the taking, guys n' gals - all you have to do is find the key to unlock it (I think I have :twisted: !)
Mal
) That way I can't dwell on the negativity of not getting a reply and I can get on with my life. Even the two ads in my sig haven't elicited one response, but that would be one more than I would expect! To be honest, ALL the fun I get from this Site comes from the forums and I find it a much better way of really getting to know folk before you take it to the next level.
The fun's there for the taking, guys n' gals - all you have to do is find the key to unlock it (I think I have :twisted: !)
Mal
Forum Virgin
Hi,
We as a couple totally agree with the sentiments. We have and do reply to all adverts, even if its a no thanks, its common courtesy to do so.
LG & Cee
We as a couple totally agree with the sentiments. We have and do reply to all adverts, even if its a no thanks, its common courtesy to do so.
LG & Cee
Sex God
Quote by duncanlondon
I don't think you wasted your time or did something unecessary. Its what you like to do and I expect most guys are happy to get a reply.
I just happen to find it annoying. like I say, that's me and how I feel about it. Is that wrong?
It's not wrong, though I can't quite understand why someone taking time to be politely honest annoys you, just cos it's a bit of news you don't like. But hey ho, most poeple seem to appreciate it, so I will carry on doing it.
Sex God
Something I haven't seen mentioned in here before is that the open and relaxed atmosphere (usually) here in the forums can make people looking in here assume that people who put ads in the ad section are equally open, articulate, and relaxed about what they want. I suspect there are a lot of them (perhaps especially couples) who put ads in without realising the full impact of what they are doing, and that when replies start to come in they get absolutely terrified, and bottle out immediately. I have had several couples answer my ad, we've corresponded once or twice each by email, and then without any warning they've closed down their email account. I know there's no excuse for not saying "thanks but no thanks", but I suspect they just get too frightened of the whole thing.
Mike.
Mike.
I think a lot of polite behaviour is due to education and upbringing etc, and is often hemmed in with protocol and habit, which can be difficult to break.
I have found that being polite does not usually involve a lot of truth or even honesty.
Where does one decide to reply to a few people but not all, or just the chosen one? Obviously the advertiser instinctively has a selection criteria, which falls into place.
It is impossible to give sufficient reason to exclude someone on the basis of a single email. So an explanation has no value. Which is why one is not given.
Like I said, I get annoyed. Because I hope the email will lead to a new adventure, but my hopes are crushed. Did I deserve to be made to feel like that? I don' think so. But that's me.
Equally I don't accuse the sender. They reply, with the best intentions, out of habit and politeness.
I have found that being polite does not usually involve a lot of truth or even honesty.
Where does one decide to reply to a few people but not all, or just the chosen one? Obviously the advertiser instinctively has a selection criteria, which falls into place.
It is impossible to give sufficient reason to exclude someone on the basis of a single email. So an explanation has no value. Which is why one is not given.
Like I said, I get annoyed. Because I hope the email will lead to a new adventure, but my hopes are crushed. Did I deserve to be made to feel like that? I don' think so. But that's me.
Equally I don't accuse the sender. They reply, with the best intentions, out of habit and politeness.
