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married men make more discreet lone males
I personally, have had no problems with single guys and discretion, that I know of so far.
We do refuse married guys, that do not have permission to play - not because of a discretion issue but more the thought of a cheating issue - for us personally, we would not feel comfortable with the situation
We do refuse married guys, that do not have permission to play - not because of a discretion issue but more the thought of a cheating issue - for us personally, we would not feel comfortable with the situation
Quote by earthchild
i have never had a problem with a single guy discretion wise at all
i have however had a married man posing as a single man who i met earlier this year only to start receiving abusive texts from his wife 6 months later, and yes he is still here.
Earthy xx
hmmmmm wonder if that was same one we 'nearly' had a few months back!! Joking aside, I would hate to be the wife/partner of that particular 'single guy'. It's far better if they are honest in the first place, but we still don't entertain married men (unless the Mrs is there also
) Quote by Bigpaul44
i know there are a lot if not most women or couples on this site who won't touch married men but have you had trouble from single guys who aren't so discreet.
I may be picking up on your wording wrong and correct me if I am, but what it looks like to me is that your trying to say married men (and im assuming you mean men who’s partners don’t know since you mention discretion) are more discreet than single men, if this is the case then I disagree, they may have more to hide, but anyone can be discreet regardless of their marital status, I think you may be mixing up the words deceit and discrete. :shock:
.
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
i know there are a lot if not most women or couples on this site who won't touch married men but have you had trouble from single guys who aren't so discreet.
You ask a lot of question don't you
He does.
Quote by earthchild
i have never had a problem with a single guy discretion wise at all
i have however had a married man posing as a single man who i met earlier this year only to start receiving abusive texts from his wife 6 months later, and yes he is still here.
Earthy xx
lol ..I think I know him. Because surely there cant be more than one man being sucj an ass can there????
Quote by Abilene
i have never had a problem with a single guy discretion wise at all
i have however had a married man posing as a single man who i met earlier this year only to start receiving abusive texts from his wife 6 months later, and yes he is still here.
Earthy xx
lol ..I think I know him. Because surely there cant be more than one man being sucj an ass can there????
lol i wouldnt be too sure Abi, but his wife wanted to bring back stoning for sluts like me
Earthy xx
Sex God
just a guess you understand
Bigpaul44 is a married man and his wife dont know hes playing?
that maybe why it say,s " almost single"
Bigpaul44 is a married man and his wife dont know hes playing?
that maybe why it say,s " almost single"
Sex God
Think it might be helpful if Bigpaul clarifies why he thinks married guys are more discreet.
If it's because they're cheating, then the answer most people would give, I suspect, is 'No'. That is contrary to the tenets of swinging, where honesty has got to be the most precious principle.
If it's just because you suddenly become more discreet when you get married then I guess most people would challenge why you think that.
I have been told several times that I am discreet in the extreme and I have also been told once that I am indiscreet. I took serious offence at the latter because it was, in my view, just an excuse to justify some other motivation of the other party.
There are also degrees of indiscretion in my view. At one end of the scale lots of people indulge in the flirty kind of 'letting snippets of information out' when it is mutual. Others indulge in the more pernicious practice of talking behind other people's backs.
Discretion is important but honesty is more important.
.
If it's because they're cheating, then the answer most people would give, I suspect, is 'No'. That is contrary to the tenets of swinging, where honesty has got to be the most precious principle.
If it's just because you suddenly become more discreet when you get married then I guess most people would challenge why you think that.
I have been told several times that I am discreet in the extreme and I have also been told once that I am indiscreet. I took serious offence at the latter because it was, in my view, just an excuse to justify some other motivation of the other party.
There are also degrees of indiscretion in my view. At one end of the scale lots of people indulge in the flirty kind of 'letting snippets of information out' when it is mutual. Others indulge in the more pernicious practice of talking behind other people's backs.
Discretion is important but honesty is more important.
.
Quote by westerross
Think it might be helpful if Bigpaul clarifies why he thinks married guys are more discreet.
If it's because they're cheating, then the answer most people would give, I suspect, is 'No'. That is contrary to the tenets of swinging, where honesty has got to be the most precious principle.
If it's just because you suddenly become more discreet when you get married then I guess most people would challenge why you think that.
I have been told several times that I am discreet in the extreme and I have also been told once that I am indiscreet. I took serious offence at the latter because it was, in my view, just an excuse to justify some other motivation of the other party.
There are also degrees of indiscretion in my view. At one end of the scale lots of people indulge in the flirty kind of 'letting snippets of information out' when it is mutual. Others indulge in the more pernicious practice of talking behind other people's backs.
Discretion is important but honesty is more important.
.
I am not saying they are,,just wanted some points of view and didn't expect to be called an ass.
I am new to this site and I thought the whole point of a forum was to discuss topics and find points of view and get people offering different opinions.
Yes I am married but not a philanderer and I have very good reasons for joining this site to look for some like minded people whether they be married or not and I am grateful I've found that already.
If you want to really know more about me then send me a message where I will open up about my personal situation to people who really want to know and not just be subject to
remarks from people who don't know me.
I am not a sad or desperate person who needs this site but i'm just looking for a bit of fun( like every body else), there are plenty of married women in the same situation and I would trust their discretion more than a single lady.
Quote by gingerjo-lee
bigpaul
why all the questions ?
you work for a newspaper or something else ?
must admit i do prefer a married guy
thanks jo x
No I don't work for newspaper rest assured of that, I'm just new to the site and off work for a few days and exploring the forum but I can't see the point of it as it all seems very pic by the way x
Quote by Bigpaul44
bigpaul
why all the questions ?
you work for a newspaper or something else ?
must admit i do prefer a married guy
thanks jo x
No I don't work for newspaper rest assured of that, I'm just new to the site and off work for a few days and exploring the forum but I can't see the point of it as it all seems very pic by the way x
*hijack alert*
I can see why Jo asked you that, the same thing crossed my mind too. I can assure you this place is not as unwelcoming as you may think but people do get twitchy when someone new turns up and just asks a load of questions without offering their own point of view or reasons for asking.
It's good to see new members posting and even starting threads but your initial onslaught of questions could have put a few people on the back foot.
Good to have you here and I hope you have fun.
*hijack over*
Sex God
well said sassy.......there only appears to be a clique until you start to join in...the same way there appears to be cliques in the chatrooms....once you start to get involved in either here or the chatrooms you will find there is no cliques.....just like-minded people having fun.....
Quote by creampie123
well said sassy.......there only appears to be a clique until you start to join in...the same way there appears to be cliques in the chatrooms....once you start to get involved in either here or the chatrooms you will find there is no cliques.....just like-minded people having fun.....
Hi guys, can I start by answering Big Paul's Q. If I got this right then how I would see it Being a Divorcee,,, is this.
A married man who comes to a website like this presuming his other half doesn't know about it, and this applies to married women too, is that he wants some NSA fun on the side or maybe as said before, looking before jumping of the ship!
So, in my opinion the married man will be discreet because of the damage it may cause his relationship at home..... HOWEVER, the relationship must have gone sour in the first place for him/her to be here!
ADVICE from someone who's been there, Work it out or Walk out! Too much hurt caused.
My ex was shagging behind my back and we tried to work it out, but they were for the wrong reasons. In the end I walked.....
These are my thoughts in general here and I'm not refering to anyone at all just my opinion so please noone take offence, or a gate for that matter
Also, the clique thing..... NONE exsistant as far as I'm concerned. But then I am me and there could be a clue there! I have found Most ppl here very helpful welcoming and friendly, even Darkfire loves me!!!!!
Sassy you Are a star. God love you babe.
:inlove:
Quote by Bigpaul44
Think it might be helpful if Bigpaul clarifies why he thinks married guys are more discreet.
If it's because they're cheating, then the answer most people would give, I suspect, is 'No'. That is contrary to the tenets of swinging, where honesty has got to be the most precious principle.
If it's just because you suddenly become more discreet when you get married then I guess most people would challenge why you think that.
I have been told several times that I am discreet in the extreme and I have also been told once that I am indiscreet. I took serious offence at the latter because it was, in my view, just an excuse to justify some other motivation of the other party.
There are also degrees of indiscretion in my view. At one end of the scale lots of people indulge in the flirty kind of 'letting snippets of information out' when it is mutual. Others indulge in the more pernicious practice of talking behind other people's backs.
Discretion is important but honesty is more important.
.
I am not saying they are,,just wanted some points of view and didn't expect to be called an ass.
I am new to this site and I thought the whole point of a forum was to discuss topics and find points of view and get people offering different opinions.
Yes I am married but not a philanderer and I have very good reasons for joining this site to look for some like minded people whether they be married or not and I am grateful I've found that already.
If you want to really know more about me then send me a message where I will open up about my personal situation to people who really want to know and not just be subject to
remarks from people who don't know me.
I am not a sad or desperate person who needs this site but i'm just looking for a bit of fun( like every body else), there are plenty of married women in the same situation and I would trust their discretion more than a single lady.
no one called you an ass and if you read the posts correctly you'll see that, someone was discussing a previous experience they had which someone then commented on, yes I know it’s a forum and its for putting opinions across like you say, so why get upset if someone has a different opinion to you?, I can understand why some people may have took offence to what you said after all this is a swinging community and your suggesting single men aren’t discreet, what makes it worse is on your next post you’ve now said single women are less discrete than married women? so you aren’t helping yourself by doing that, if your not a philandering husband like you say why do you have a major issue with discretion, because the tone in which your posting suggests you have first hand experience to why married males/females have to be or are more discreet, as I said previously it may be the way you word things but after reading both your replies i’ve came to the same conclusion, and just to add nobody on here has a problem with people who play behind there partners backs, they only have a problem when they lie to them about it, people should be able to choose if they wish to play with married males/females who are playing behind their partners back, but if they lie that choice is then taken away.
I think people would like to know your actual reasons why you think being a married male makes you more discreet, since you brought the subject up it would have been nice to have seen why you think this is the case or the reason which made you come to that conclusion. rather than assuming, then asking everyone else, because thats what it looks like.
Sex God
Quote by Bigpaul44
Think it might be helpful if Bigpaul clarifies why he thinks married guys are more discreet.
If it's because they're cheating, then the answer most people would give, I suspect, is 'No'. That is contrary to the tenets of swinging, where honesty has got to be the most precious principle.
If it's just because you suddenly become more discreet when you get married then I guess most people would challenge why you think that.
I have been told several times that I am discreet in the extreme and I have also been told once that I am indiscreet. I took serious offence at the latter because it was, in my view, just an excuse to justify some other motivation of the other party.
There are also degrees of indiscretion in my view. At one end of the scale lots of people indulge in the flirty kind of 'letting snippets of information out' when it is mutual. Others indulge in the more pernicious practice of talking behind other people's backs.
Discretion is important but honesty is more important.
.
I am not saying they are,,just wanted some points of view and didn't expect to be called an ass. I didn't.
I am new to this site and I thought the whole point of a forum was to discuss topics and find points of view and get people offering different opinions. Which is exactly what I did.
Yes I am married but not a philanderer and I have very good reasons for joining this site to look for some like minded people whether they be married or not and I am grateful I've found that already.
If you want to really know more about me then send me a message where I will open up about my personal situation to people who really want to know and not just be subject to
remarks from people who don't know me.
I am not a sad or desperate person who needs this site but i'm just looking for a bit of fun( like every body else), there are plenty of married women in the same situation and I would trust their discretion more than a single lady.
Can't imagine why you've taken offence at what I said - but as you say I don't know you.
I didn't and wouldn't call you an ass on the strength of what I know but I'm getting there.
Keep smiling!
.
Quote by Fun Scottish Couple
Think it might be helpful if Bigpaul clarifies why he thinks married guys are more discreet.
If it's because they're cheating, then the answer most people would give, I suspect, is 'No'. That is contrary to the tenets of swinging, where honesty has got to be the most precious principle.
If it's just because you suddenly become more discreet when you get married then I guess most people would challenge why you think that.
I have been told several times that I am discreet in the extreme and I have also been told once that I am indiscreet. I took serious offence at the latter because it was, in my view, just an excuse to justify some other motivation of the other party.
There are also degrees of indiscretion in my view. At one end of the scale lots of people indulge in the flirty kind of 'letting snippets of information out' when it is mutual. Others indulge in the more pernicious practice of talking behind other people's backs.
Discretion is important but honesty is more important.
.
I am not saying they are,,just wanted some points of view and didn't expect to be called an ass.
I am new to this site and I thought the whole point of a forum was to discuss topics and find points of view and get people offering different opinions.
Yes I am married but not a philanderer and I have very good reasons for joining this site to look for some like minded people whether they be married or not and I am grateful I've found that already.
If you want to really know more about me then send me a message where I will open up about my personal situation to people who really want to know and not just be subject to
remarks from people who don't know me.
I am not a sad or desperate person who needs this site but i'm just looking for a bit of fun( like every body else), there are plenty of married women in the same situation and I would trust their discretion more than a single lady.
no one called you an ass and if you read the posts correctly you'll see that, someone was discussing a previous experience they had which someone then commented on, yes I know it’s a forum and its for putting opinions across like you say, so why get upset if someone has a different opinion to you?, I can understand why some people may have took offence to what you said after all this is a swinging community and your suggesting single men aren’t discreet, what makes it worse is on your next post you’ve now said single women are less discrete than married women? so you aren’t helping yourself by doing that, if your not a philandering husband like you say why do you have a major issue with discretion, because the tone in which your posting suggests you have first hand experience to why married males/females have to be or are more discreet, as I said previously it may be the way you word things but after reading both your replies i’ve came to the same conclusion, and just to add nobody on here has a problem with people who play behind there partners backs, they only have a problem when they lie to them about it, people should be able to choose if they wish to play with married males/females who are playing behind their partners back, but if they lie that choice is then taken away.
I think people would like to know your actual reasons why you think being a married male makes you more discreet, since you brought the subject up it would have been nice to have seen why you think this is the case or the reason which made you come to that conclusion. rather than assuming, then asking everyone else, because thats what it looks like.
I simply wondered if any couples or singles had problems with guys probably getting pissed down the pub and letting it slip with there mates or the football team that there is a couple up the road who liked a "gang bang"and it brought unwelcome attention.
Yes married people who play alone (it's not just men as my inbox vindicates)are more likely to keep the deceit if you like, discreet and I didn't mean to offend single guys (I was one once you know)that I'm more virtuous than them or that you'd be better off with me.
One lady did reply she prefers married men(which I feel vindicated asking the topic),so why don't you ask her why!
The reason I would choose,given the choice, a married lady is it's my preference just the way you have your preferences.I am not looking for love but illicit sex.I didn't join this site to be virtuous,does your mother or brother or vicar know your a member of a swingers site.
Sexpert
This topic is lost on me now. Im off out.
Quote by Bigpaul44
One lady did reply she prefers married men (which I feel vindicated asking the topic),so why don't you ask her why!
NO! why should i? I prefer discretion, don't YOU?
Quote by Bigpaul44
I simply wondered if any couples or singles had problems with guys probably getting pissed down the pub and letting it slip with there mates or the football team that there is a couple up the road who liked a "gang bang"and it brought unwelcome attention.
and married men can't and won't do the same when pissed in a pub with their mates?
Quote by Bigpaul44
does your mother or brother or vicar know your a member of a swingers site.
OMG! i best only go for married men now, i didn't see it like that :shock:
If it's your preference for married women then so be it. It's you saying ALL singles lack discretion that i have a problem with, not your preferences.
.
Sex God
Quote by Bigpaul44
,does your mother or brother or vicar know your a member of a swingers site.
errr! yes and they dont have a problem as im not cheating on anyone ( single male)
wether they know what swinging is is nether here nor there
Sex God
If you're a NOTW reporter, I'll tell you all for the right price 
There are many reasons for people being discreet. A moral view that it is right to be discreet, playing away, sensitive job, sensitive relatives, sensitive vicar, etc. Singles and married singles can share all these reasons equally except for the sensitive wife/husband, so I suppose, everything else being equal, then the married single might just have the edge in reasons to be discreet.
However, I always look at discretion from the other end and assume that whatever I tell a third party is potentially going to be disclosed. If you say nowt, then nowt gets passed on.
However, I always look at discretion from the other end and assume that whatever I tell a third party is potentially going to be disclosed. If you say nowt, then nowt gets passed on.
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