married men who pretend to be single

2 Jan 2007

Quote by Mallock2006
We have done and will meet married guys.(and we know many who do as well)
Its none of our business why they are here and we cannot do anything to solve any problems they may or may not have in their personal lives..

Steve, obviously thats what suits you two and I am not about to question that but how would you feel if the swingers partner found out and came banging on your door?
Or ever thought about what would happen if your names were brought up in a court case?
Not saying they would, just feel like asking the question to you or any other swinger that is happy to see married swingers?
Do these things never cross your mind because they have ours dunno

2 Jan 2007

Quote by Dawnie

so if you have the willpower to ban yourself, and maintain that ban, then cant you have the willpower to just get your assignment done?

I can't remove the ban once it is in place so once done, I'm buggered because I don't post under my other user name rolleyes

aha, so you have another username - thats dishonesty!!!
im hurt, i thought it was just you
*slumps in chair, despondantly*
Well yes and no, most people know me under my other name anyway, I've had it for years confused

I use it in chat at times when I'd rather not have to do any work :roll:
im sorry for doubting you, i will hang my head in shame

2 Jan 2007

Quote by essex34m
im sorry for doubting you, i will hang my head in shame

Come rest your head on my chest if it makes you feel better :therethere:

2 Jan 2007

Quote by Dawnie
im sorry for doubting you, i will hang my head in shame

Come rest your head on my chest if it makes you feel better :therethere:
and have it on my conscience that im distracting you from your assignment?
open those arms, i have no conscience!

2 Jan 2007

Quote by essex34m
im sorry for doubting you, i will hang my head in shame

Come rest your head on my chest if it makes you feel better :therethere:
and have it on my conscience that im distracting you from your assignment?
open those arms, i have no conscience!
:lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
I am going back to it now, honest :smug:
Poor felix is going to regret lending me a hand though, have a feeling he might be gone a while redface

2 Jan 2007

Quote by Dawnie

We have done and will meet married guys.(and we know many who do as well)
Its none of our business why they are here and we cannot do anything to solve any problems they may or may not have in their personal lives..

Steve, obviously thats what suits you two and I am not about to question that but how would you feel if the swingers partner found out and came banging on your door?
How can you tell 100% that a guy isntmarried dunno

How can you tell 100% that a guyis married :dunno:

2 Jan 2007

Quote by Mallock2006
How can you tell 100% that a guy is married

he complains that he cant watch football anymore?

2 Jan 2007

Quote by Dawnie
im sorry for doubting you, i will hang my head in shame

Come rest your head on my chest if it makes you feel better :therethere:
and have it on my conscience that im distracting you from your assignment?
open those arms, i have no conscience!
:lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
I am going back to it now, honest :smug:
Poor felix is going to regret lending me a hand though, have a feeling he might be gone a while redface

I'm back

2 Jan 2007

Quote by Mallock2006

We have done and will meet married guys.(and we know many who do as well)
Its none of our business why they are here and we cannot do anything to solve any problems they may or may not have in their personal lives..

Steve, obviously thats what suits you two and I am not about to question that but how would you feel if the swingers partner found out and came banging on your door?
How can you tell 100% that a guy isntmarried dunno

How can you tell 100% that a guyis married :dunno:
You can't, I'm well aware of that but you could be fairly sure if a guy admits to being married that he would be telling you the truth :dunno:

2 Jan 2007

Quote by Mallock2006

However, I do feel I have a right to judge people who tell me a pile of bollox and impede my choice as to what situation I get myself into.

Here I go contradicting myself..
You have the right to judge someone you are about to meet in as much as if they are married and you dont play with married people then you have the right to say no
What I meant by my earlier statement was that we cant just slate guys/gals who are married and here playing without their partners knowledge as untill it comes the time where we may meet those people its really none of our business...
I find it difficult to write what I want to say and still leave it a legible piece of text
confused

I really don't care whether someone is married, single, has a partner or living with a goat! It only matters if I ask and get told something completely different (i.e. total bollox). There are situations where I don't even ask (such as the club), but if I do ask I expect to be told the truth.
Does it matter if they are married - may be, may be not, that is my business and what I choose to do.
Does it matter if I ask and they say they are not when they are - yes it does, as they are obstructing my freedom of choice.
I have said my bit on more than one occasion against the people branding married guys playing away as cheats. I am well aware whilst there are people who choose not to play with married guys there are plenty more that do and who would be mighty pissed off if all married guys playing alone where pushed out in a name and shame exercise. I have previously pointed out the hypocrisy of some of these people so eager to point the finger at the dreaded “cheat”, who then go to a club, go dogging or just change their mind and meet an attached guy for a shag because they think nobody will know.
I don’t have a problem with married people being here as a single and really don’t see what business it is of anyone else’s as to why they are here.
I do however than a problem with:
A – the ones who lie about their status to people they are arranging to meet.
B – the ones who do the ‘sympathy shag begging’ type post … that they are so hard done to at home, blar, blar, blar; and expect to be able to justify their situation to the masses in one short statement and assume everyone should be fine and dandy about it. (I don’t think I have explained that bit very well – but I know what I mean)

2 Jan 2007

Quote by felixx1416
I'm back

Thank you

2 Jan 2007

Quote by Dawnie

I'm back

Thank you

was that ok for you biggrin

2 Jan 2007

Quote by felixx1416

I'm back

Thank you

was that ok for you biggrin

It reached the spot that I've been struggling to reach for a while this morning :rascal:

2 Jan 2007

Quote by PoloLady
I really don't care whether someone is married, single, has a partner or living with a goat! It only matters if I ask and get told something completely different (i.e. total bollox). There are situations where I don't even ask (such as the club), but if I do ask I expect to be told the truth.
Does it matter if they are married - may be, may be not, that is my business and what I choose to do.
Does it matter if I ask and they say they are not when they are - yes it does, as they are obstructing my freedom of choice.
I have said my bit on more than one occasion against the people branding married guys playing away as cheats. I am well aware whilst there are people who choose not to play with married guys there are plenty more that do and who would be mighty pissed off if all married guys playing alone where pushed out in a name and shame exercise. I have previously pointed out the hypocrisy of some of these people so eager to point the finger at the dreaded “cheat”, who then go to a club, go dogging or just change their mind and meet an attached guy for a shag because they think nobody will know.
I don’t have a problem with married people being here as a single and really don’t see what business it is of anyone else’s as to why they are here.
I do however than a problem with:
A – the ones who lie about their status to people they are arranging to meet.
B – the ones who do the ‘sympathy shag begging’ type post … that they are so hard done to at home, blar, blar, blar; and expect to be able to justify their situation to the masses in one short statement and assume everyone should be fine and dandy about it. (I don’t think I have explained that bit very well – but I know what I mean)

What she said!!!!!
Thanks for saving me the effot Polo.
kiss

2 Jan 2007

The first juicey thread in ages ...... and over a 3rd of it has been taken to an airstrip somewhere in the middle east rolleyes

2 Jan 2007

Quote by PoloLady

However, I do feel I have a right to judge people who tell me a pile of bollox and impede my choice as to what situation I get myself into.

Here I go contradicting myself..
You have the right to judge someone you are about to meet in as much as if they are married and you dont play with married people then you have the right to say no
What I meant by my earlier statement was that we cant just slate guys/gals who are married and here playing without their partners knowledge as untill it comes the time where we may meet those people its really none of our business...
I find it difficult to write what I want to say and still leave it a legible piece of text
confused

I really don't care whether someone is married, single, has a partner or living with a goat! It only matters if I ask and get told something completely different (i.e. total bollox). There are situations where I don't even ask (such as the club), but if I do ask I expect to be told the truth.
Does it matter if they are married - may be, may be not, that is my business and what I choose to do.
Does it matter if I ask and they say they are not when they are - yes it does, as they are obstructing my freedom of choice.
I have said my bit on more than one occasion against the people branding married guys playing away as cheats. I am well aware whilst there are people who choose not to play with married guys there are plenty more that do and who would be mighty pissed off if all married guys playing alone where pushed out in a name and shame exercise. I have previously pointed out the hypocrisy of some of these people so eager to point the finger at the dreaded “cheat”, who then go to a club, go dogging or just change their mind and meet an attached guy for a shag because they think nobody will know.
I don’t have a problem with married people being here as a single and really don’t see what business it is of anyone else’s as to why they are here.
I do however than a problem with:
A – the ones who lie about their status to people they are arranging to meet.
B – the ones who do the ‘sympathy shag begging’ type post … that they are so hard done to at home, blar, blar, blar; and expect to be able to justify their situation to the masses in one short statement and assume everyone should be fine and dandy about it. (I don’t think I have explained that bit very well – but I know what I mean)
I thnik thats what I said :?

2 Jan 2007

Quote by Dawnie

I'm back

Thank you

was that ok for you biggrin

It reached the spot that I've been struggling to reach for a while this morning :rascal:
got any more spots you need reaching i'm free all day :rascal:

2 Jan 2007

Excuse me - you have a light hearted thread next door to play in. Is that one not enough?
Though this one has probably choked to death by now so what the hell rolleyes

2 Jan 2007

Quote by PoloLady
Excuse me - you have a light hearted thread next door to play in. Is that one not enough?
Though this one has probably choked to death by now so what the hell

PoloLady

2 Jan 2007

Quote by PoloLady
The first juicey thread in ages ...... and over a 3rd of it has been taken to an airstrip somewhere in the middle east

:confused:

2 Jan 2007

Quote by felixx1416
The first juicey thread in ages ...... and over a 3rd of it has been taken to an airstrip somewhere in the middle east

:confused:
i think the word you are looking for felix, is hijack

2 Jan 2007

Quote by essex34m
The first juicey thread in ages ...... and over a 3rd of it has been taken to an airstrip somewhere in the middle east

:confused:
i think the word you are looking for felix, is hijack
oh! redface

2 Jan 2007

Quote by PoloLady
However, I do feel I have a right to judge people who tell me a pile of bollox and impede my choice as to what situation I get myself into.

Quote by PoloLady
I do however than a problem with:
A – the ones who lie about their status to people they are arranging to meet.
B – the ones who do the ‘sympathy shag begging’ type post … that they are so hard done to at home, blar, blar, blar; and expect to be able to justify their situation to the masses in one short statement and assume everyone should be fine and dandy about it. (I don’t think I have explained that bit very well – but I know what I mean)

:thumbup:
I think you explained it very well - much better than I could
Like I said before, if someones playing away, that's their life and their business, but I do like to have a choice and if someone lied to me and was about to lie to someone on here I know, my conscience tells me I'd want to warn them.
Dawnie mentioned about the risk of someone's partner finding out and contacting you. Whilst this isn't very likely if you've had an anonymous shag in a club one night, it could happen if you've arranged a private meet and been texting and emailing.
I know a lovely lady from here who's been on the receiving end and had the wife (of a man who claimed to be single) ringing her and calling her all sorts of names because she'd been with her husband.
I wouldn't wish that on anybody.

2 Jan 2007

Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
Like I said before, if someones playing away, that's their life and their business, but I do like to have a choice and if someone lied to me and was about to lie to someone on here I know, my conscience tells me I'd want to warn them.

I think to me this is the most important thing, as in all aspects of swinging, I would hope that all parties involved maintained their right to choice, and to do this people must be open and honest about their own situation, so that the other parties involved can make an informed decision.
With regards to your initial question HLB, when I first joined thi site as a single, another single fem asked me if I would what her to tell me if she felt there was a reason why I wouldn't want to play with someone, if she thought she knew something that I wasn't aware of.........my answer was of course I would, this wasn't because I would then automatically not play with them, but at least I could take stock of the situation and then make my own decision. The main problem with a place like this is that there is often a lot of rumours and hearsay around and so someone may tell you something that whilst they believed it to be true, it may not be entirely so. I guess what I am trying to say is that yes I would what someone to tell me but I wouldn't take it as gospel and would make my own decision based on that.

2 Jan 2007

if your single and get unwanted attention is it good to say I'm married to get rid of the attention lol

2 Jan 2007

we play as a couple from time to time .but we have now started playing as singles.
I am always upfront about that Im married and that i play alone .but what i do Is offer for the other party to contact the wife to prove that she is aware.
One of the problems I have is I have been told Is how can you play as a single male but be married.I know there are a lot of single males on the site .my wifes in box is full.
out of every 100 messages there maybe one who can spell in in english and not txt speak
and whos opening line is not when can we meet Id love to fuck you.
A few of them admit they are married and are looking for something behind the other halfs covers about 50% of them. My grammar may be a little bad at times. but i do like to leave a decent message.I play by a few only 1st meet .I travel to where she has chosen to meet .
I never assume anything if it never goes further then Im happy meeting a new friend.
The fakes and the idiots do make it harder for the genuine single guy married or not ( whos wife does know) to find a swing partner to have fun with

2 Jan 2007

Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
I know a lovely lady from here who's been on the receiving end and had the wife (of a man who claimed to be single) ringing her and calling her all sorts of names because she'd been with her husband.
I wouldn't wish that on anybody.

I don't remember sharing that with you HLB hun ;)
It has also happened to me confused

and it's not pleasant I can tell you, especially when you have been re-assured that, " No babe, of course I am not married!" rolleyes

I don't want to play with married men for my own reasons, that above being one of them. I would also hate to be the wife in that situation as I don't like deceit.
If you're married/have a partner and are playing behind your partners' back then that's up to you-chances are if you can deceive the person meant to be the closest to you, then you ain't gonna have a care about deceiving me are you?

2 Jan 2007

The concept that as long as you're honest with me I don't care how many porkies you tell anybody else (Felixx' point - bit of a crude paraphrase I know - but you get my meaning?) is very interesting.
It raises two questions in my mind:
1) Is that double standards?
2) Can you trust the person to be telling you the truth if he's or she's prepared to lie on something fairly fundamental?
On the first question, I think probably not - provided you are engaging in only a 'pure sex' swinging situation. (Personally I find that scenario a little bleak but that's just my view.)
If you're seeking something a little more socially orientated i.e. you want to like the person yer shagging (I appreciate many hereabouts are not) then I think it probably does amount to double standards. At least I'd reserve the right to ask why they are not sharing knowledge of their lifestyle with their wife/husband to help me make my own judgement, which then brings me onto question 2) and....
...... could I trust the answer they gave me? Answer - probably not.
Speaking as one who has swung on my own as a married man, with my wife's knowledge, and also later as a couple - I would say total honesty is the best - even the crucial quality we can give.
Redhot is right, though, when she says those who aren't should not be outed. Not our business to pass moral judgement (we might make it but not pass it).
Sorry taken the thread a little off track but... (and I'm sober!)
.

3 Jan 2007

Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
Hmm
...........
But, if someone I knew off this site was planning on playing with them and I knew that they didn't want to play with married men. Should I tell them what I know?
That's my dilemma

How about asking the married man to own up or back out?

3 Jan 2007

Quote by poshkate
......... The main problem with a place like this is that there is often a lot of rumours and hearsay around and so someone may tell you something that whilst they believed it to be true, it may not be entirely so. I guess what I am trying to say is that yes I would what someone to tell me but I wouldn't take it as gospel and would make my own decision based on that.

...and rumours can start with a careless word in jest, or for any other reason. Once they are out there is is hard to get rid of them, even with all the facts.