Married Women and Men who play away don''''t have a category

16 Dec 2007

Quote by solofun
Depends whats in theses vows you speak about? Adultery has many loopholes and the biggest being same sex partners, which can never be descrided as adultery. but back to the original statement "SWINGING = ADULTERY with consent" well its wrong, unless off course you can only be a swinger if your married???

You vow not to have sex with anyone else. There are no conditions.
Swingers negate that vow and this is where conventional couples don't like what they do.
It becomes a recognisable offence because it directly contradicts the legality of the marriage. That is the state of adultery, as the context and condtions necessary to set about a divorce.
But as you say only invokable if one of the couple decide to do so.
Its already cheating, which is simply the common expression for breaking your promise.
If its considered to be 'unreasonable', what could it be equivalent to? Or in a similar category?
Having also checked some interpretations for cheating, it would appear that there would need to be some conditions required to fulfill that also. The intent, the scheming etc to bring about a situation which has been derived for fraudulent means.
That would suggest more than a couple who set about having irresponsible sex.
I'm not disagreeing with anyone’s opinions; I was only pointing out the UK divorce laws, which are anything but clear, and to add to that all are different from religion to religion as they are from country to country, you can choose your own vows nowadays with civil ceremonies, but even if we couldn’t how many people obey there partners? I’ve said before that cheating is cheating but our laws tend to say otherwise?
Yeah s'allright, no worries. The adultery factor just simplifies the process, by cutting out the whys and wherefores of a broken promise; and gets to the stage where establishing the split up allows divorce proceedings to be instigated.
The state doesn't bother much to intervene and attempt to set a marriage back on course. It simply accepts that people have given up on their vows to lead a life under the ideals of monogamy.
Monogamy is not enforceable. Its encouraged and given a variety of favours. But that's all in the public eye.

16 Dec 2007

Quote by duncanlondon
Depends whats in theses vows you speak about? Adultery has many loopholes and the biggest being same sex partners, which can never be descrided as adultery. but back to the original statement "SWINGING = ADULTERY with consent" well its wrong, unless off course you can only be a swinger if your married???

You vow not to have sex with anyone else. There are no conditions.
Swingers negate that vow and this is where conventional couples don't like what they do.
It becomes a recognisable offence because it directly contradicts the legality of the marriage. That is the state of adultery, as the context and condtions necessary to set about a divorce.
But as you say only invokable if one of the couple decide to do so.
Its already cheating, which is simply the common expression for breaking your promise.
If its considered to be 'unreasonable', what could it be equivalent to? Or in a similar category?
Having also checked some interpretations for cheating, it would appear that there would need to be some conditions required to fulfill that also. The intent, the scheming etc to bring about a situation which has been derived for fraudulent means.
That would suggest more than a couple who set about having irresponsible sex.
I'm not disagreeing with anyone’s opinions; I was only pointing out the UK divorce laws, which are anything but clear, and to add to that all are different from religion to religion as they are from country to country, you can choose your own vows nowadays with civil ceremonies, but even if we couldn’t how many people obey there partners? I’ve said before that cheating is cheating but our laws tend to say otherwise?
Yeah s'allright, no worries. The adultery factor just simplifies the process, by cutting out the whys and wherefores of a broken promise; and gets to the stage where establishing the split up allows divorce proceedings to be instigated.
The state doesn't bother much to intervene and attempt to set a marriage back on course. It simply accepts that people have given up on their vows to lead a life under the ideals of monogamy.
Monogamy is not enforceable. Its encouraged and given a variety of favours. But that's all in the public eye.
Yes, you've summed it up, it's just an excuse for a quick divorce biggrin

and a sin, just like sex before marriage is too :D religion made law and forced upon us, but thats another story lol

16 Dec 2007

Just changing tea tack on this thread for a moment. Its not surprising how the hannahrose thread ran in comparison to this one. That thread was a very polite and indifferent approach, here its been all out with some of us.
By the end of hannahrose she is getting all sorts of encouragement and support. Here, suspected hordes of anonymous cheaters are being hung, drawn and quartered.
Again this presents a very confusing 'corporate' approach to the conventional outsider. And quite likely to encourage people to see swingers as having no consistency in their sets of values.

16 Dec 2007

I wouldn't say that, it's more the way morals can be forced upon us, so its hardly surprising some stick by them, and even less surprising when some people become over emotional about them if its something close to there heart, or have had to endure themselves.

16 Dec 2007

Quote by solofun
I wouldn't say that, it's more the way morals can be forced upon us, so its hardly surprising some stick by them, and even less surprising when some people become over emotional about them if its something close to there heart, or have had to endure themselves.

Well yes I can see that too.
But its sometimes necessary to pluck out some illogicalities and contradictions to help make the discussion move along in a progressive way.

16 Dec 2007

Quote by de_sade

This thread's identified plenty of people that we wouldn't be interested in playing with, so not all is lost.

:thumbup:
And not just because they're single...
Yep. Couples or singles ... if they're that judgemental about people, as a few in here have shown themselves to be, then we wouldn't be at all interested.
A world where everything is black and white must be a wonderfully uncomplicated place to live. :?

16 Dec 2007

Quote by northwest-cpl
A world where everything is black and white must be a wonderfully uncomplicated place to live.

:thumbup:
there are too many grey areas to be able to define things as black or white.......plus the grey areas are more interesting lol

16 Dec 2007

It's amazing how SEX can bring people so much grief, because regardless of if we all agree or not, thats simply the cause SEX

17 Dec 2007

I am not sure if this is on subject, but...
W and I went shopping and we drifted about, as we do. Each looking for that something. I look back at W and see a hand sweep her buttocks. Then a little kiss, she was enjoying it, so I held back and looked on.
I walked back, and she said, "**** you don't know my husband do you?"
**** quickly added that they work together, he lied, I let him.
W was now flushed, **** was looking for a way out "Nice to meet you Travis, see you tomorrow W" and he was gone straight out of the shop.
"He does not work with me." said W, "He is here when you are away."
I get a kiss, not a little one.
Now the thing is should we let people lie? Is he a bad person, and why? Should I care as long as W is not hurt?

18 Dec 2007

Quote by de_sade
Swinging = Adultery with consent
Cheating = Adultery without consent
Both morally condemned by societies & billions around the world, but such is human nature that some "Swingers", eventhough their own acts widely defined as immoral, find the need to look down at "Cheaters". Yes, people get hurt, but people get hurt in a lot more ways other than being cheated on. A Couple you swing with are perhaps fraudsters, bad parents, etc etc list goes on, but do you check all that!? heck no and you don't try finding out either because you cannot be bothered to do so, but you sure are bothered about "cheaters". so please get off this high horse of selective morality, enjoy sex and live & let live.
as for a seperate section, it would be fruitless/pointless excercise until the majority are neutral - which is just not going to happen anytime soon.

So many assumptions...
So let me guess...
Hmmmm...I think you are...
A "single" male...
Looking for NSA sex...
Someone who endorses adultery or at the very least cheating...
Someone who thinks it allows you to justify your behaviour...
Now they are assumptions.
Am I close?
Anything I missed? rolleyes

WOW!
Are you close? Far from it actually. I am not “single”, but I am single, and a single parent to be exact. I do not endorse cheating, but I understand why people do it and therefore do not judge them for it. If one does not understand something or someone’s actions, it is human nature to be judgemental quite quickly infact.

Quote by easyease
the fact you fail to percieve is that by meeting a cheater a person would be directly involved in causing pain to an innocent party. wtf has fraud and bad parenting got to do with this spare us the weak ass excuses you feed yourself to try justify your actions.

WOW (again!) … there sure are people here ready to pounce with personal attacks!
Have you ever wondered why people cheat in the first place? Take some quiet time and ponder over it plz. In the meantime, let me give you a quick run down: of those who cheat, majority do not do so for the “pleasures of cheating” – they are either unhappy, sexually starved, no longer in love with their partner, (these 3 being biggest reasons) or …. (I’ll leave your mind to do some work now and figure out other reasons).
So the reasonable question to ask would be, “why won’t they leave their partners instead of cheating” … answer: it is VERY easy to walk out of a relationship when there is little at stake but when there is a lot more to consider it is not easy by any means. I’ll give you my example, it took me 2 long yrs to finally come to the decision to separate, and all that time too because of my daughter. To cut this point short, I used to end bf-gf type relationships swiftly whenever I felt like it, but ending a marriage (with a young child) is very tough and awfully mentally draining. Some can gather enough strength to end it all, but others can’t so they resort to means such as “cheating” which in a way is a temporary escape from it all. Whether it is a mentally good or a bad escape, that is open for argument.
As for causing pain to an innocent party, people generally do not cheat to be caught, I’m sure you’d agree. Otherwise it would be a lot easier to say “look, its not working out, and this relationship is dead” and walk out. That would hurt and “cause pain” to one partner too, but hey it ain’t cheating now is it eventhough the end result is the same or worse in some cases!!!!

Quote by easyease
the fact you fail to percieve is that by meeting a cheater a person would be directly involved in causing pain to ....

- it may surprise you to know that it is easier to cheat by just heading out to a bar/club and picking up a one night stand instead of searching for someone on here. Perhaps you can explain to me why meeting a cheater would contribute to the paint suffered by another - especially as cheating is one of the easiest things to do and does not need sexual intercourse let alone any physical contact to be classified as such either (such as falling in love with another)!? I think you failed to recognise my point that some people only look for cheaters but do not bother about their other acts, as I said before it is selective morality. There maybe some here who finds this as a venue to "cheat", but as for my view and reason for being here, it is to further explore and enjoy sex with like minded people! one night stands are easy (for me) but it is like playing russian roulette in so many ways - some maybe good while others terrible.
Ultimately, I think it just boils down to stereo-typing the cheaters. My opinions are based on my experiences, others experiences who shared, and basically trying to understand why people do what they do instead of using “one brush for all” approach – which is the easiest thing to do in all honesty!
It is however one's choice if unwilling to look at the bigger picture instead of sticking with a narrow view point.

18 Dec 2007

Quote by 3verve
Swinging = Adultery with consent
Cheating = Adultery without consent
Both morally condemned by societies & billions around the world, but such is human nature that some "Swingers", eventhough their own acts widely defined as immoral, find the need to look down at "Cheaters". Yes, people get hurt, but people get hurt in a lot more ways other than being cheated on. A Couple you swing with are perhaps fraudsters, bad parents, etc etc list goes on, but do you check all that!? heck no and you don't try finding out either because you cannot be bothered to do so, but you sure are bothered about "cheaters". so please get off this high horse of selective morality, enjoy sex and live & let live.
as for a seperate section, it would be fruitless/pointless excercise until the majority are neutral - which is just not going to happen anytime soon.

So many assumptions...
So let me guess...
Hmmmm...I think you are...
A "single" male...
Looking for NSA sex...
Someone who endorses adultery or at the very least cheating...
Someone who thinks it allows you to justify your behaviour...
Now they are assumptions.
Am I close?
Anything I missed? rolleyes

WOW!
Are you close? Far from it actually. I am not “single”, but I am single, and a single parent to be exact. I do not endorse cheating, but I understand why people do it and therefore do not judge them for it. If one does not understand something or someone’s actions, it is human nature to be judgemental quite quickly infact.

Quote by easyease
the fact you fail to percieve is that by meeting a cheater a person would be directly involved in causing pain to an innocent party. wtf has fraud and bad parenting got to do with this spare us the weak ass excuses you feed yourself to try justify your actions.

WOW (again!) … there sure are people here ready to pounce with personal attacks!
Have you ever wondered why people cheat in the first place? Take some quiet time and ponder over it plz. In the meantime, let me give you a quick run down: of those who cheat, majority do not do so for the “pleasures of cheating” – they are either unhappy, sexually starved, no longer in love with their partner, (these 3 being biggest reasons) or …. (I’ll leave your mind to do some work now and figure out other reasons).
So the reasonable question to ask would be, “why won’t they leave their partners instead of cheating” … answer: it is VERY easy to walk out of a relationship when there is little at stake but when there is a lot more to consider it is not easy by any means. I’ll give you my example, it took me 2 long yrs to finally come to the decision to separate, and all that time too because of my daughter. To cut this point short, I used to end bf-gf type relationships swiftly whenever I felt like it, but ending a marriage (with a young child) is very tough and awfully mentally draining. Some can gather enough strength to end it all, but others can’t so they resort to means such as “cheating” which in a way is a temporary escape from it all. Whether it is a mentally good or a bad escape, that is open for argument.
As for causing pain to an innocent party, people generally do not cheat to be caught, I’m sure you’d agree. Otherwise it would be a lot easier to say “look, its not working out, and this relationship is dead” and walk out. That would hurt and “cause pain” to one partner too, but hey it ain’t cheating now is it eventhough the end result is the same or worse in some cases!!!!

Quote by easyease
the fact you fail to percieve is that by meeting a cheater a person would be directly involved in causing pain to ....

- it may surprise you to know that it is easier to cheat by just heading out to a bar/club and picking up a one night stand instead of searching for someone on here. Perhaps you can explain to me why meeting a cheater would contribute to the paint suffered by another - especially as cheating is one of the easiest things to do and does not need sexual intercourse let alone any physical contact to be classified as such either (such as falling in love with another)!? I think you failed to recognise my point that some people only look for cheaters but do not bother about their other acts, as I said before it is selective morality. There maybe some here who finds this as a venue to "cheat", but as for my view and reason for being here, it is to further explore and enjoy sex with like minded people! one night stands are easy (for me) but it is like playing russian roulette in so many ways - some maybe good while others terrible.
Ultimately, I think it just boils down to stereo-typing the cheaters. My opinions are based on my experiences, others experiences who shared, and basically trying to understand why people do what they do instead of using “one brush for all” approach – which is the easiest thing to do in all honesty!
It is however one's choice if unwilling to look at the bigger picture instead of sticking with a narrow view point.
:thumbup:

18 Dec 2007

Quote by 3verve
Swinging = Adultery with consent
Cheating = Adultery without consent
Both morally condemned by societies & billions around the world, but such is human nature that some "Swingers", eventhough their own acts widely defined as immoral, find the need to look down at "Cheaters". Yes, people get hurt, but people get hurt in a lot more ways other than being cheated on. A Couple you swing with are perhaps fraudsters, bad parents, etc etc list goes on, but do you check all that!? heck no and you don't try finding out either because you cannot be bothered to do so, but you sure are bothered about "cheaters". so please get off this high horse of selective morality, enjoy sex and live & let live.
as for a seperate section, it would be fruitless/pointless excercise until the majority are neutral - which is just not going to happen anytime soon.

So many assumptions...
So let me guess...
Hmmmm...I think you are...
A "single" male...
Looking for NSA sex...
Someone who endorses adultery or at the very least cheating...
Someone who thinks it allows you to justify your behaviour...
Now they are assumptions.
Am I close?
Anything I missed? rolleyes

WOW!
Are you close? Far from it actually. I am not “single”, but I am single, and a single parent to be exact. I do not endorse cheating, but I understand why people do it and therefore do not judge them for it. If one does not understand something or someone’s actions, it is human nature to be judgemental quite quickly infact.

Quote by easyease
the fact you fail to percieve is that by meeting a cheater a person would be directly involved in causing pain to an innocent party. wtf has fraud and bad parenting got to do with this spare us the weak ass excuses you feed yourself to try justify your actions.

WOW (again!) … there sure are people here ready to pounce with personal attacks!
Have you ever wondered why people cheat in the first place? Take some quiet time and ponder over it plz. In the meantime, let me give you a quick run down: of those who cheat, majority do not do so for the “pleasures of cheating” – they are either unhappy, sexually starved, no longer in love with their partner, (these 3 being biggest reasons) or …. (I’ll leave your mind to do some work now and figure out other reasons).
So the reasonable question to ask would be, “why won’t they leave their partners instead of cheating” … answer: it is VERY easy to walk out of a relationship when there is little at stake but when there is a lot more to consider it is not easy by any means. I’ll give you my example, it took me 2 long yrs to finally come to the decision to separate, and all that time too because of my daughter. To cut this point short, I used to end bf-gf type relationships swiftly whenever I felt like it, but ending a marriage (with a young child) is very tough and awfully mentally draining. Some can gather enough strength to end it all, but others can’t so they resort to means such as “cheating” which in a way is a temporary escape from it all. Whether it is a mentally good or a bad escape, that is open for argument.
As for causing pain to an innocent party, people generally do not cheat to be caught, I’m sure you’d agree. Otherwise it would be a lot easier to say “look, its not working out, and this relationship is dead” and walk out. That would hurt and “cause pain” to one partner too, but hey it ain’t cheating now is it eventhough the end result is the same or worse in some cases!!!!

Quote by easyease
the fact you fail to percieve is that by meeting a cheater a person would be directly involved in causing pain to ....

- it may surprise you to know that it is easier to cheat by just heading out to a bar/club and picking up a one night stand instead of searching for someone on here. Perhaps you can explain to me why meeting a cheater would contribute to the paint suffered by another - especially as cheating is one of the easiest things to do and does not need sexual intercourse let alone any physical contact to be classified as such either (such as falling in love with another)!? I think you failed to recognise my point that some people only look for cheaters but do not bother about their other acts, as I said before it is selective morality. There maybe some here who finds this as a venue to "cheat", but as for my view and reason for being here, it is to further explore and enjoy sex with like minded people! one night stands are easy (for me) but it is like playing russian roulette in so many ways - some maybe good while others terrible.
Ultimately, I think it just boils down to stereo-typing the cheaters. My opinions are based on my experiences, others experiences who shared, and basically trying to understand why people do what they do instead of using “one brush for all” approach – which is the easiest thing to do in all honesty!
It is however one's choice if unwilling to look at the bigger picture instead of sticking with a narrow view point.
well said !!

18 Dec 2007

I wanted to write this a few days ago... then i stopped myself, why... I don't know
It was interesting to see which direction this thread took.... one it went in the normal direction it lost interest for me......people justifying and counter-justify, insults back and forth.......
same old same old........
The one thing I did notice about it though..... the people who have been on the receiving end of it.... Andromeda for example (sorry for just picking you hun kiss

... but yours is the one that stuck with me during this thread) were completely ignored.. or looked over......
this is the only part of it i have found interesting.... while we are having this conversation we do forget at times that there is another person involved in this.......the person who is on here can come back and defence themselves, the person who doesn't know aboout it can't!... just a thought
so coming back to the orginal topic do I think it is a good idea to have a category seperaate for married people playing away.... the answer for me would be no, however if this was going to be done then the only way it would work would be to distinguish those doing so with consent, where you could talk to other half (cherrytree :kiss: for example), and those playing away without consent.... just like the OP
two very different ends of the scale... I don't see them as being the same, so why should they be lumped together......
okay... now to muddy the waters futher.... what about those who are married and play as both couples and singles???? where are they going to go???? another category just for them?????
I was being flipant when i asked where does the deviding and sub deviding end...but now I do asked seriously.....
so i'll have a category for being single, one for being black, one for being tall, one for being large, one for being ugly..... ect ect ect.....
and that is before I even start with what i am looking for.....
if this went ahead... which group of people would ask next for there only category....... heck lets have one for the beautiful people, so they can have there own "beautiful people parties"....... after all we don't like the idea, they are better catered for elsewhere, but heck... I want to make this site better for everyone....
sound familar???? the OP!!!
sean xxxxxxxxx

18 Dec 2007

Quote by fabio
I wanted to write this a few days ago... then i stopped myself, why... I don't know
It was interesting to see which direction this thread took.... one it went in the normal direction it lost interest for me......people justifying and counter-justify, insults back and forth.......
same old same old........
The one thing I did notice about it though..... the people who have been on the receiving end of it.... Andromeda for example (sorry for just picking you hun ... but yours is the one that stuck with me during this thread) were completely ignored.. or looked over......
this is the only part of it i have found interesting.... while we are having this conversation we do forget at times that there is another person involved in this.......the person who is on here can come back and defence themselves, the person who doesn't know aboout it can't!... just a thought
so coming back to the orginal topic do I think it is a good idea to have a category seperaate for married people playing away.... the answer for me would be no, however if this was going to be done then the only way it would work would be to distinguish those doing so with consent, where you could talk to other half (cherrytree :kiss: for example), and those playing away without consent.... just like the OP
two very different ends of the scale... I don't see them as being the same, so why should they be lumped together......
okay... now to muddy the waters futher.... what about those who are married and play as both couples and singles???? where are they going to go???? another category just for them?????
I was being flipant when i asked where does the deviding and sub deviding end...but now I do asked seriously.....
so i'll have a category for being single, one for being black, one for being tall, one for being large, one for being ugly..... ect ect ect.....
and that is before I even start with what i am looking for.....
if this went ahead... which group of people would ask next for there only category....... heck lets have one for the beautiful people, so they can have there own "beautiful people parties"....... after all we don't like the idea, they are better catered for elsewhere, but heck... I want to make this site better for everyone....
sound familar???? the OP!!!
sean xxxxxxxxx

Could not have put it any better myself!!

Should we have Married Men and Woman categories