....How does your garden grow?
Much is spoken about the size of penises, but what about what is occasionally known as 'the lady-garden'?
What size is yours? What size have you dug your tool into?
Is it a window box?
A small patch?
An Allotment?
Hackney Marshes?
Has there been more ho's pushed deep into gardens than Alan Titchmarsh's spade? Has any of you got green fingers? Are the bushes neatly trimmed, or as uncontrolled as an East German Women's shotputters armpit?
Tell us what you know, in an English country garden.
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Mary Mary, Quite Contrary...
Sex God
Grows like weeds and gets mowed every 2 or 3 days :lol2:
Sex God
Mine is beautifully smooth with a little bit of jewellery and tight as an Aberdonian! :mrgreen:
Not much fucking good to me when I went to all that effort for a no show!! Seriously... it took me about an hour to remove the cultivation that was firkling in my knicks!!
Bastids!
Not much fucking good to me when I went to all that effort for a no show!! Seriously... it took me about an hour to remove the cultivation that was firkling in my knicks!!
Bastids!
Sex God
At the moment it could do with some trimming. I'm too skint for a wax at the mo so regular trimmage it is.
Orgasminator
My lawn is waxed smooth, bejeweled also and as tight as it was when i was 20! And dewey 
Orgasminator
A gaffer tape waxing hahaha! You'd have to use it on the wrists first but that's a whole other thread!
Sex God
Quote by vampanya
My lawn is waxed smooth, bejeweled also and as tight as it was when i was 20! And dewey
I've got to ask.!!!!
How do you measure the tightness??
Obviously with men, you measuring the size, which can be done with a tape measure. But how do you measure the tightness?? Is there a special gauge ?? Is it spring loaded with a little pointer and a calibrated scale ??
And what units is it measured in ?
John
Quote by Geordiecpl2001
My lawn is waxed smooth, bejeweled also and as tight as it was when i was 20! And dewey
I've got to ask.!!!!
How do you measure the tightness??
Obviously with men, you measuring the size, which can be done with a tape measure. But how do you measure the tightness?? Is there a special gauge ?? Is it spring loaded with a little pointer and a calibrated scale ??
And what units is it measured in ?
John
Thats easy......its why Ladies trousers and jeans come in leg measurements 26-30 & 30 - 34 inches........... :lol: :lol: :lol:
Sex God
Quote by Geordiecpl2001
My lawn is waxed smooth, bejeweled also and as tight as it was when i was 20! And dewey
I've got to ask.!!!!
How do you measure the tightness??
Obviously with men, you measuring the size, which can be done with a tape measure. But how do you measure the tightness?? Is there a special gauge ?? Is it spring loaded with a little pointer and a calibrated scale ??
And what units is it measured in ?
John
If you can hold a pencil in there or indeed snap it your tight
If not, you need to practice more
Apparently
Quote by Geordiecpl2001
My lawn is waxed smooth, bejeweled also and as tight as it was when i was 20! And dewey
I've got to ask.!!!!
How do you measure the tightness??
Obviously with men, you measuring the size, which can be done with a tape measure. But how do you measure the tightness?? Is there a special gauge ?? Is it spring loaded with a little pointer and a calibrated scale ??
And what units is it measured in ?
John
John, the units of measurement are finger, wrist and elbow.
Sex God
I read an interesting article today! It said that the current economic down turn had damaged business and cost money in two very different but related ways :sad: Not only are woman saving money by cutting back on such luxury's as vaginal waxing but also more men are presenting at local NHS drop in centres complaining of
Tan-Kinky wrote:
If you can hold a pencil in there or indeed snap it your tight
If not, you need to practice more
Apparently
Oh Hell!!!.....that's gonna disappoint one woman I know!!.......She's been 'practicing for years.......and could still fit a whole bunch of pencils in......and the geometry set to go with it!! :twisted:
If you can hold a pencil in there or indeed snap it your tight
If not, you need to practice more
Apparently
Oh Hell!!!.....that's gonna disappoint one woman I know!!.......She's been 'practicing for years.......and could still fit a whole bunch of pencils in......and the geometry set to go with it!! :twisted:
Sex God
I was told that to tell the tightness of a ladies 'down below' you insert a hard boiled hens egg in it's shell, if it comes out peeled she's tight
Orgasminator
Quote by Lost
I was told that to tell the tightness of a ladies 'down below' you insert a hard boiled hens egg in it's shell, if it comes out peeled she's tight
What if it comes out scrambled?
Quote by Lost
I was told that to tell the tightness of a ladies 'down below' you insert a hard boiled hens egg in it's shell, if it comes out peeled she's tight
what does it mean if its an ostrich egg??:giggle:
mine isnt so much a garden as a patio with a pair or massive swing gates!! :shock:
