All right Elizabeth, how are you? Fancy a drink? Maybe a slow comfortable screw?
Misstress Borgia
I would most willing sit and converse with you. You should know that in my heart I do not totally agree with class boundaries.
I do fear you misunderstand me - I am not competing for the affections of these 'gentlemen' as my heart is pledged to my Mr Darcy. If I gain the attention of any of the other guests I can only say that I have done nothing to prompt them.
I thank you for the kind offer of some wine, but as I have already commented, I will not partake of fermented beveridges just now. I am content with my goblet of water.
Now on what subject would you like to talk? Is there a particular gentleman who has come to your attention?
Oh and please call me Lizzie as my sisters do - I feel we will become good friends - May I call you Lucy?
My name a is Eli,
And a Ugly I ama
I speet on the floor
As much as I cana
My secret ees safe
Eef you heed not my clue
'Cos I rub my peestol
And eet suddenly grew.
Oooh get him - you got a bit of an anger problem there mate, you need to calm down a bit.
Ooooh get her!!!!!!!
Frigid cow. You didn't think I actually fancied you did you. Nah, I was just being polite, because I'm that kind of guy.
Don't laugh lads, I was just mucking about yeh. Wouldn't really touch that, noway.
Yeh, ok Miss Bennett. We seem to have got off on the wrong foot there. Just having a laugh you know. I'm not like that really, just ask my mates ...... second thoughts don't, theyre a right bunch of nutters he he he. Will drop me in it by telling you how I always have a laugh with the ladies.
Funny enough, I've been called Mr Darcy a few times. Can't see the resemblance myself, but, they say your mates see things in you that you can't see yourself. So it must be there. What do you reckon?
ello Mistress Bennett...I'm wondering if a little assistance may be desired, I'm sure we can come to some arrangement my dear.
I can rid you of the unwanted advances of the Bent bloke and the ugly fella..
just a small debt to repay some day
Look Lucrezia, I've just bought this Babycham for you.
Stay and drink it with me, or the lads will laugh their socks off and take the piss ........ please