I've just been out for a walk with the dog, enjoying a gentle stroll down by the river on this lovely and sunny afternoon. Everything was perfect until I started being dive bombed by a giant dragonfly. Now I grew up in the country, and am no stranger to countryside insects, but this 'thing' was different. It was absolutely massive! It looked like it had just escaped from sellafield along with blue's spiderman cakes, and although I'm a big guy, I was scared of this thing. No amount of swatting, or shooing would rid me of the terrible beast, and it was upsetting the poor dog as well. Eventually we both made a run for it and escaped its evil clutches..
My point is, has anyone else out there been plagued by giant bugs over this extremely dry summer we've just had, or are all the mutants confined to my dog walking paths??
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Massive bugs
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btw they were batman cakes of blues .
But in the heatwave of 76 i remember going to shropshire .
And whilst on a little boat on a lake the said same flying objects bombarded me..
scared me so much i nearly fell out of the boat trying to fend them off.
I always wonderd if it something to do with the weather that year
But in the heatwave of 76 i remember going to shropshire .
And whilst on a little boat on a lake the said same flying objects bombarded me..
scared me so much i nearly fell out of the boat trying to fend them off.
I always wonderd if it something to do with the weather that year
Sex God
I had a hummingbird hawk moth in the garden on Wednesday night, and that chased me
(and yes there is such a thing do a google)
(and yes there is such a thing do a google)
Warming the Bed
So I guess the moral is that if you fancy fun in the open air you had best keep your clothes on or cover up with a mosquito net
Quote by Sarah
I had a hummingbird hawk moth in the garden on Wednesday night, and that chased me
(and yes there is such a thing do a google)
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/33359.html
Have a look here.
Casanova
We've had flying ant problems this year, bloody hundreds of em'
yea I know the world is getting scarry in this day and age. but there is soposandly a biger type of wasp appering this year with a huge sting and more menacing than the common one. I am not going to bore all of you with genetics and that but evalution is a wonderis and some times frighting thing.
Update on massive bugs.
Today, to avoid the threat of being chased by huge dragonflies down by the river, me and the dog went for a walk round the bridle paths of runway 2 at Ringway (Manchester Airport for the youngsters). Now if I thought the river was bad, the bugs round the airport put yesterdays to shame.. I was chased 3 times by this quad winged monster that was the insect equivalent of a Chinook helicopter.. There was also a myriad of multicoloured dragonflies twice the size as yesterdays, and all sorts of other monstrous winged beasties.. (Luckily, I never saw one of those hummingbird hawk moths).
After me and the dog had escaped these, I let her off for a run in a small field. When I went to put her back on her lead, she picked up this stick and ran off. I chased her, tripped over some wood sticking out of the ground, straight into the dirt. Luckily it was dry, so apart from some bruised ribs and arms, all I got was a bit dusty. Twenty minutes later, totally exhausted, I caught the dog, and pulled the stick out of her mouth, only to find it wasn't a stick but half a fox’s leg with paw still intact. After I finished retching, me and the dog called it quits and went home vowing to stick to the river and never to return to Ringway.
Today, to avoid the threat of being chased by huge dragonflies down by the river, me and the dog went for a walk round the bridle paths of runway 2 at Ringway (Manchester Airport for the youngsters). Now if I thought the river was bad, the bugs round the airport put yesterdays to shame.. I was chased 3 times by this quad winged monster that was the insect equivalent of a Chinook helicopter.. There was also a myriad of multicoloured dragonflies twice the size as yesterdays, and all sorts of other monstrous winged beasties.. (Luckily, I never saw one of those hummingbird hawk moths).
After me and the dog had escaped these, I let her off for a run in a small field. When I went to put her back on her lead, she picked up this stick and ran off. I chased her, tripped over some wood sticking out of the ground, straight into the dirt. Luckily it was dry, so apart from some bruised ribs and arms, all I got was a bit dusty. Twenty minutes later, totally exhausted, I caught the dog, and pulled the stick out of her mouth, only to find it wasn't a stick but half a fox’s leg with paw still intact. After I finished retching, me and the dog called it quits and went home vowing to stick to the river and never to return to Ringway.
Orgasminator
I've also noticed how many snails there are this year also... I detest the crunch sound as you accidentally step on one... especially when wearing sandals... ewwwww!
Sex God
I was lying on a lilo in a pool one summer several years ago in Spain.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw something dark flying straight at me. :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: I executed a beautiful reflex roll off the lilo into the water just as a large Hornet (almost 3" long) zoomed past my head. :scared: :scared: I emerged coughing and spluttering and cursing the bugger for shattering the peace of the afternoon.
I could tell you about the scorpions, assorted snakes and other creepy crawlies I've encountered when I was living there but I don't want to scare the girls on here! :P
ES
Out of the corner of my eye I saw something dark flying straight at me. :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: I executed a beautiful reflex roll off the lilo into the water just as a large Hornet (almost 3" long) zoomed past my head. :scared: :scared: I emerged coughing and spluttering and cursing the bugger for shattering the peace of the afternoon.
I could tell you about the scorpions, assorted snakes and other creepy crawlies I've encountered when I was living there but I don't want to scare the girls on here! :P
ES
Sex God
ES
It will take more than that to scare us girls
:lol:
It will take more than that to scare us girls
:lol: One evening about this time of year a few years back, I was walking along a hill path on Skye when a couple came running down the path towards me waving their arms like maniacs. I stepped aside and let them pass, only to find the cause of their distress a round the corner a minute later - a huge cloud of frankly enormous midges! These beggars descended like flying piranhas and chased me off in pursuit of the couple.
Moral of this story: Skye in August would not be my choice of venue for outdoor frolics!
Moral of this story: Skye in August would not be my choice of venue for outdoor frolics!
in my neighbours garden shed there is a massive spider, we used to borrow the lawn mower from her untill it appeared like an extra from arachnaphobia one day and scared the shit out of me and rach.
we have since bought our own mower and have come to the conclusion that afore mentioned neighbour may have planted afore mentioned spider type beastie there herself as she always begrudgingly loaned us the mower in the first place, AND the only way a spider that size could have gotten in there in the first place was through the bloody door.
we have since bought our own mower and have come to the conclusion that afore mentioned neighbour may have planted afore mentioned spider type beastie there herself as she always begrudgingly loaned us the mower in the first place, AND the only way a spider that size could have gotten in there in the first place was through the bloody door.
Quote by wolvie_dude
I've just been out for a walk with the dog, enjoying a gentle stroll down by the river on this lovely and sunny afternoon. Everything was perfect until I started being dive bombed by a giant dragonfly. Now I grew up in the country, and am no stranger to countryside insects, but this 'thing' was different. It was absolutely massive! It looked like it had just escaped from sellafield along with blue's spiderman cakes, and although I'm a big guy, I was scared of this thing. No amount of swatting, or shooing would rid me of the terrible beast, and it was upsetting the poor dog as well. Eventually we both made a run for it and escaped its evil clutches..
My point is, has anyone else out there been plagued by giant bugs over this extremely dry summer we've just had, or are all the mutants confined to my dog walking paths??
Haven't been plagued this year, but on holiday in Scotland many years ago, I was nearly eaten alive by midges in "Glen Affric" as soon as I got out of the Caravette, I was covered in them so that my bare legs, arms, face, neck and ears turned black and itchy lumps appeared immediately, I had to cover up for the rest of my vacation and days for the itching to subside.
:P 
Sex God
Now if any of you find any large woodlice, can you keep em for me cos I want to make mrs davej a new necklace. If you scare the crap out of them, they curl up nose to tail, all they need then, is a quick squirt with hairspray, a splash of paint and a thread running through the centre of them and you've got an inexpensive bead necklace. If you just leave them without the paint, you get a sort of ethnic jewllery.
I did try and make a living out of it but my plans went to shit when I decided to capture the lucrative African market. I saw an oppurtunity when I was there on holiday and saw local villagers spend hours carving wooden beads to string together as bracelets and necklaces, to sell to the tourists. I figured that if I could save the time it took to carve the beads, by replacing them with curled up woodlice then a few quid could be made, so when I got home I wrote to our waiter at the hotel and told him that by getting hold of these creatures with reticulated bodies and turning them into jewellery we could make a fortune.
The money started rolling in as he got things under way for me, but unfortunately a German tourist died whilst swimming and the jewellery was blamed. I flew straight out there, but was completely fucked when I found out that they didn't have woodlice in Afrrica and that by following my instructions, they had been scaring, spraying and threading together Armadillos. Now these fuckers weigh upward of 20 kilo, so it wasn't much of a surprise that anyone diving in a swimming pool with a dozen or more Armadillos around their necks, was gonna struggle to get back up again.
I did try and make a living out of it but my plans went to shit when I decided to capture the lucrative African market. I saw an oppurtunity when I was there on holiday and saw local villagers spend hours carving wooden beads to string together as bracelets and necklaces, to sell to the tourists. I figured that if I could save the time it took to carve the beads, by replacing them with curled up woodlice then a few quid could be made, so when I got home I wrote to our waiter at the hotel and told him that by getting hold of these creatures with reticulated bodies and turning them into jewellery we could make a fortune.
The money started rolling in as he got things under way for me, but unfortunately a German tourist died whilst swimming and the jewellery was blamed. I flew straight out there, but was completely fucked when I found out that they didn't have woodlice in Afrrica and that by following my instructions, they had been scaring, spraying and threading together Armadillos. Now these fuckers weigh upward of 20 kilo, so it wasn't much of a surprise that anyone diving in a swimming pool with a dozen or more Armadillos around their necks, was gonna struggle to get back up again.
Quote by davej
Now if any of you find any large woodlice, can you keep em for me cos I want to make mrs davej a new necklace. If you scare the crap out of them, they curl up nose to tail, all they need then, is a quick squirt with hairspray, a splash of paint and a thread running through the centre of them and you've got an inexpensive bead necklace. If you just leave them without the paint, you get a sort of ethnic jewllery.
I did try and make a living out of it but my plans went to shit when I decided to capture the lucrative African market. I saw an oppurtunity when I was there on holiday and saw local villagers spend hours carving wooden beads to string together as bracelets and necklaces, to sell to the tourists. I figured that if I could save the time it took to carve the beads, by replacing them with curled up woodlice then a few quid could be made, so when I got home I wrote to our waiter at the hotel and told him that by getting hold of these creatures with reticulated bodies and turning them into jewellery we could make a fortune.
:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
Thats just the story i needed to hear after a shite day at work..........................excellent!
The money started rolling in as he got things under way for me, but unfortunately a German tourist died whilst swimming and the jewellery was blamed. I flew straight out there, but was completely fucked when I found out that they didn't have woodlice in Afrrica and that by following my instructions, they had been scaring, spraying and threading together Armadillos. Now these fuckers weigh upward of 20 kilo, so it wasn't much of a surprise that anyone diving in a swimming pool with a dozen or more Armadillos around their necks, was gonna struggle to get back up again.
Quote by davej
Now if any of you find any large woodlice, can you keep em for me cos I want to make mrs davej a new necklace. If you scare the crap out of them, they curl up nose to tail, all they need then, is a quick squirt with hairspray, a splash of paint and a thread running through the centre of them and you've got an inexpensive bead necklace. If you just leave them without the paint, you get a sort of ethnic jewllery.
I did try and make a living out of it but my plans went to shit when I decided to capture the lucrative African market. I saw an oppurtunity when I was there on holiday and saw local villagers spend hours carving wooden beads to string together as bracelets and necklaces, to sell to the tourists. I figured that if I could save the time it took to carve the beads, by replacing them with curled up woodlice then a few quid could be made, so when I got home I wrote to our waiter at the hotel and told him that by getting hold of these creatures with reticulated bodies and turning them into jewellery we could make a fortune.
The money started rolling in as he got things under way for me, but unfortunately a German tourist died whilst swimming and the jewellery was blamed. I flew straight out there, but was completely fucked when I found out that they didn't have woodlice in Afrrica and that by following my instructions, they had been scaring, spraying and threading together Armadillos. Now these fuckers weigh upward of 20 kilo, so it wasn't much of a surprise that anyone diving in a swimming pool with a dozen or more Armadillos around their necks, was gonna struggle to get back up again.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Oh this takes me back to my entrepreneur school days, made a mint out of me novelty bumble bee pencil tops
.......... that was until one kid bought in honey sandwiches :undecided: Pencil tops and screaming kids all over the place there was 
After that everyone took to having miniture plastic grapes, apples pears n stuff. Crap they were, even the googly eyes were too small to google properly
Talking of weird bugs - had a grasshopper thing in me bathroom a couple of days ago, had the biggest eyebrows I had ever seen :shock: they were huge :shock: :dunno:
Sex God
Eyebrows on a grasshopper???????????
Missy, you been at the happy juice again???????????
Missy, you been at the happy juice again???????????
