Mature virgins

21 May 2007

Don't know if you watched the programme on TV about a virgin guy's quest for someone to make him a non-virgin.
My heart went out for that young man in the programme and - being a kind person deep down - I thought, I ought to find myself a virgin man and show him what is what biggrin

I wonder, are there a lot of virgin men around, over the age of 30-40?
What are people's feelings towards virgins? Would you play with one and/or undertake their sexual education? Or would you steer clear? Why?

21 May 2007

If the guy was someone i cared for, mentally and emotionally, then his level of sexual experience would be immaterial. It would all be part of him and i would value that.
However (and this might mean i'm a really horrible, shallow person redface

) if I'm just looking for a shag then i try to avoid men less experienced than myself.
I'm not trying to suggest that i'm a sexual virtuoso (u might think that but i couldn't possibly comment ;) )and there is a lot of fun to be had exploring new things with a partner, but if in these time-presured days (heehee) I'm just looking for someone to make me bark like the dirty bitch i am then i think that picking a more experienced man is a wise move.

21 May 2007

I know a virgin between 30 and 40 - me lol

Thank you for the offer but I am holding onto it for now
and a special lady in my life has first dibs on it if I falter. cool

Regards
Harry Jones

22 May 2007

well.
two fantastic ladies.
Wish i was born again. sad

22 May 2007

I met a female virgin in her late 30's, through a mutual interest. She was a decent soul, her time taken up with local politics and the church choir.
She had a large circle of friends so was socially adept. However her friends had conveniently overlooked her virgin status and had more or less accepted she would be like that for life.
What is lacking in the lives of virgins is the details required for sex. A decent bed, a bundle of condoms, a few toys, clothes and accessories, lots of booze, and a general readiness and enthusiasm to perform something you really like to do.
There are usually good reasons why people remain virgins. It's best that they do.

22 May 2007

I had a relative who died a few years back in her 70's and as far as we were concerned she died a virgin. Don't think it was a sad thing just dont think it was her bag so to speak, would probable horrify most people on here though lol

22 May 2007

I've had sex with only one virgin in my time - many years ago.
She didn't tell me until I 'found out' for myself when it was too late.
Afterwards, I regretted not being able to make it a much more special experience for her.
.

22 May 2007

Harry Jones, you are not a virgin. You have had lots of peripheral experiences and have enough confidence in yourself to not belong in that category. But I can't help wondering if you wrote that just to challenge me to seduce you... :P
Tune essence, awww! It was unfair of her not to reveal her status to you but if all she wanted was to break free and you gave her just that, who's to blame? Not you, for sure.
UKwineman, we had a word for 70 year old virgins in my time: spinsters. I don't know why the world always gazed upon spinsters with pity. They seemed to be happy enough and with less worries than the rest of the world.
Trixie, you minxie pixie! biggrin

22 May 2007

I lost mine when I was 17, it was a horrible experience. In all honesty I wish I'd waited until I was in my late 20's maybe even 30's. I did not appreciate true love making until I was in my 30's and met my special man. It's sad I know but all the others were simple shags with no thought or meaning in them and that's from both sides).
I loved what Tune Ess said about wishing he'd known as he would have made it special, I wish I'd waited and enjoyed my first time as being special.
I watched the mature virgins and my first reaction was one of pity as they are missing out on the most wonderful thing, but then again they don't know that, they have it yet to come. So maybe I don't pity them, maybe I envy them - and maybe they had the right idea all along?
I'm feeling thoughtful today :idea:

22 May 2007

I lost mine, how can I put this, ......later in life. sad

It was not a one night stand as much as a 1 week stand After the event the woman said "Not bad for the first time" WTF did she collect virgins to compare???

22 May 2007

i watched the programme last night, i enjoyed it. the older woman and bloke seemed like really nice people and i think their decision to hire escorts to lose their virginity to seemed to work really well. the younger guy tho..i dont know what the answer is for him...probably a combination of a make over and a self esteem boost!

22 May 2007

Quote by keeno
I lost mine, how can I put this, ......later in life.
It was not a one night stand as much as a 1 week stand After the event the woman said "Not bad for the first time" WTF did she collect virgins to compare???

aaw

if it had of been us, we'd still be doing it now! redface

did I really say that??

22 May 2007

Quote by jaymar
I lost mine, how can I put this, ......later in life.
It was not a one night stand as much as a 1 week stand After the event the woman said "Not bad for the first time" WTF did she collect virgins to compare???

aaw

if it had of been us, we'd still be doing it now! redface

did I really say that??
Don't let the fact I'm not a virgin anymore stop us biggrin

Just getting in my car and heading to the far north :D :D bolt

22 May 2007

I found it quite a moving 's always the concern that they are going to poke fun at them but I thought Alan, Mike and Catherine all displayed great courage in allowing themselves to be filmed.
I was a little unsure at the prying narture of the cameras at times eg interviewing Alan while he was still in bed after his session with the lady escort.
A revealing moment was when Mike dismissed the 'services' of Tom, the full of himself lad who tried to 'coach' him and when he said he didn't want to treat girls "like crap".
Alan also showed deeper emotions in his need for affection and saying if he finds a girlfiend "I'll be the best boyfriend ever".
It was interesting to see Catherine was saving up to do it again with her male escort but was still devoted in her love of Christ too and how she rationalised those two aspects of bond with her sister Jane was also a strong factor in her seemd to have something the other didn;t have, Jane seemed more of this world, a very interesting charecter in her own right.
I guess it struck such a chord in me because of my own history.I was later than all of my friends in losing my virginity (19) and went through a lot of anquish over adult life has been very stop and start that way ever since, I've been through months and even over a year more than once where I had no sexual partner.I have no idea when who or where that will be now and even SH seems to bring me no nearer to I've had my moments and plenty of them I still related to the people in the programme.
I wonder how they'll cope if now 'awakened' nothing else ever happens to them unless they pay for that make their new found feeling of self worth fade over time?

22 May 2007

Quote by duncanlondon
What is lacking in the lives of virgins is the details required for sex. A decent bed, a bundle of condoms, a few toys, clothes and accessories, lots of booze, and a general readiness and enthusiasm to perform something you really like to do.

I have a crappy single bed, an unopened box of 3 rapidly nearing their best before date (Feb 2009), toys confused

: I have mini connect 4 lol

, clothes - I have a pair of pvc briefs that only fit when I am flaccid and are as uncomfortable as hell (its a hard life trying to get underwear with a slim stomach and huge cock wink

), lots of booze (I have this week off to get to a beer festival, 12 bottles of beer, 12 cans of beer, bottle of port, bottle of whisky, bottle of very cheap wine, I have a huge enthusiasm for watersports :twisted:

Quote by Tania
Harry Jones, you are not a virgin. You have had lots of peripheral experiences and have enough confidence in yourself to not belong in that category. But I can't help wondering if you wrote that just to challenge me to seduce you... :P
They seemed to be happy enough and with less worries than the rest of the world.

Peripheral experiences, I like that biggrin

I often feel I lack confidence, especially in starting conversations in real life, I'm always fearful that there is a large boyfriend/husband who is just round corner/in loo etc or else just too plain lacking in self esteem (she wont want to talk to me, I'm ugly/boring etc), the gauntlet of that challenge is always on display feel free to pick it up but be warned, even when I am very very tempted to give in and believe me I have come very very close on occasion I haven't succumbed yet, so feel free to pick up the gauntlet :D
Asto spinsters being happy and having less worries, I often (and in fact did it last night) find myself pushing down hard on my car horn in anger, feeling very upset and sorry for myself as yet another day passes with no bj, noone to show any affection to me and I yearn longingly for the "good old days" when I was very happy playing computer games on my spectrum +2A, cycling 100 miles in a day, playing cricket and never knew what is was like to kiss a woman or feel some sort of affection towards me.

Quote by niceandgentle
A revealing moment was when Mike dismissed the 'services' of Tom, the full of himself lad who tried to 'coach' him and when he said he didn't want to treat girls "like crap".

Absolutely, when I am in a vanilla setting and see the blokes who are getting somewhere I think I ought ot change and be like them but I could never bring myself to being an arrogant wanker, I'd much rather be a nice adorable loser
Right I've only just got out of bed so less thinking and more putting the washing machine on, I am off all week so come chase me ladies :lol:
Regards
Harry Jones

22 May 2007

thought better of it lol

22 May 2007

xxx

22 May 2007

Quote by janeandwill
When was this programme on and what was it called?
Would have liked to have seen it and want to check if it is on "catch up TV".

I think it was called what Tania entitled this thread, "Mature Virgins", and it was on Channel 4 on Monday night at about for an hour, not sure of exact times as I just left a video running and then watched it the next day.

23 May 2007

I watched the programme, I thought it may be a bit of late night entertainment as I dozed off, but found it to be surprisingly interesting.
I have slept with 2 virgins, and would happily sleep with another if the situation was right.

23 May 2007

Quote by HarryJones
Peripheral experiences, I like that I often feel I lack confidence, especially in starting conversations in real life ...
Asto spinsters being happy and having less worries, I often (and in fact did it last night) find myself pushing down hard on my car horn in anger, feeling very upset and sorry for myself as yet another day passes with no bj, noone to show any affection to me and I yearn longingly for the "good old days" when I was very happy playing computer games on my spectrum +2A, cycling 100 miles in a day, playing cricket and never knew what is was like to kiss a woman or feel some sort of affection towards me.

Harry, I remember the day you visited me at home. OK you were a bit nervous but so was I. We still had a nice conversation and when you left I told myself 'what a lovely lad he is!'
I don't think you should succumb for the sake of succumbing. There has got to be feeling in it otherwise it is pointless. But I can empathise with the feeling of frustration and longing - you think our lives are very different?

23 May 2007

Apparently we are talking about two different TV programmes. The one that sparked this post was a documentary on a guy going to Amsterdam to lose his virginity in a place that specialised in this sort of thing. He lost his virginity to a mature lady who seemed to be getting a lot more job satisfaction than one would initially have assumed. biggrin

I think that programme was on last Tuesday (15/5) but can't recall the channel. We put it on for fun but ended up sympathising with the guy and what he was sharing about his younger years and also it was very thought provoking.

23 May 2007

Quote by Tania
Apparently we are talking about two different TV programmes. The one that sparked this post was a documentary on a guy going to Amsterdam to lose his virginity in a place that specialised in this sort of thing. He lost his virginity to a mature lady who seemed to be getting a lot more job satisfaction than one would initially have assumed. I think that programme was on last Tuesday (15/5) but can't recall the channel. We put it on for fun but ended up sympathising with the guy and what he was sharing about his younger years and also it was very thought provoking.

We are then was another one on Channel 4 on Monday night with the three different people, two men and one woman.
Confusing they made the two programmes with such a similar theme, perhaps they compliment each other if you see both? confused

23 May 2007

I guess the whole subject of mature virgins is one that is rather close to my heart, mostly because of the fact that I was a "late bloomer" myself - I didn't lose my virginity until age 29, which seemed to me to be very very late indeed! I found that the older I got, the more the pressure and frustration built up in me. In fact, when I did get the chance to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of the time - who I was very much in love with - that pressure and frustration certainly told! In fact, it was a pretty embarassing experience since I couldn't get it up! :uhoh:
Like the person Tune mentioned, I hadn't told my girlfriend that I was a virgin. This was mostly because it was a little embarassing and I didn't want a big deal made of it, and since I had watched an awful lot of porn I felt like I didn't need to tell her because I knew what to do. But I definitely feel now that it was a big mistake. Partly because my girlfriend said to me "Why didn't you tell me!" I think she felt the same as Tune - that if she had known she would have done things differently and would have tried to make the occasion more special.

I watched the mature virgins and my first reaction was one of pity as they are missing out on the most wonderful thing, but then again they don't know that, they have it yet to come. So maybe I don't pity them, maybe I envy them - and maybe they had the right idea all along?

Definitely very thoughtful Mar. :thumbup: It is something I have thought about a hell of a lot in connection with my own experiences. Of course I can only give you my opinion. I feel that if I had had the chance to meet the right girl for that special first-time experience at a youngish age (<23?) then I would have been right to wait for her. But I feel that my whole sex-drive has been coloured by the sheer length of time that I only had porn and palm for stimulation. I definitely have a few "issues" that I am working through. <God I hope this doesn't put any potential playmates off! It's nothing to worry about!> So I feel that even if I missed out on that special first-time experience I would still have preferred to lose my virginity much much earlier. And let's face it - my first time wasn't exactly special even though I did wait for a girl I loved and who loved me. If I had already had some experience my first time with her would definitely have been more special.
Anyway, to get back to the original question... :shock:
Nicky and I generally prefer to meet people with swinging experience, for the same reasons as Trixie. But we also both feel a little bad about this sometimes, since everyone has to have a first time - both as a "swinging virgin" and as just a virgin. And I don't mean to blow our own trumpets but I think we would be an excellent choice for a virgin of either type since Nicky is the most considerate and caring and giving person I know, and I like to think I'm not so bad myself. So does this mean we should feel some responsibility to help any virgins we come across? dunno

I guess it's tricky. But I'd like to think that if we got to know a nice virgin and clicked with them, that we wouldn't rule out playing with them - but only time will tell. But I don't think we are going to go looking for one...
Russell

24 May 2007

Quote by Tania
Trixie, you minxie pixie!

Moi ?????? :angel: Hell yeah ! lol
Thank you Tyracer, you are a charmer - don’t warm me up too much, we both know I’d break you ;)
Swing_fun_cpl, you sound like lovely people. I don’t think u should feel bad for not actively sleeping with virgins (of both or either kind). You don’t have a moral or civic duty to 'break them in'. After all, this is meant to be fun and no one would want you to sleep with them as an act of charity smile

Harry, i was really moved by you posts. All i can give u is my personal opinion, which i hope won’t offend anyone. It sounds to me as though you may be looking for more than just sex, as you talk about affection. If you are looking for real affection then SH is not the place to find it. It is easy to confuse this intense physical contact with emotional engagement, but this confusion can lead you to a lot of hurt and heartache. You would be better spending the time you spend on here in another chatroom, where you meet people who see you as a holistic being and not a sexual object.
As I say, this is only my personal opinion. If i have misjudged the situation or said anything that offends other SH users then i apologise, my intention was not to insult you.

24 May 2007

oh you wouldnt break me i can get up after a 180 mph crash you'd need to be superwoman.
Hey you dare put that cape on girly.

24 May 2007

I watched the programme about the guy going to Amsterdam and found it quite an insightful programme although I kinda felt sorry for him because he openly admitted that he didn't fancy the woman that he lost his virginity with...and I thought that was really sad...
I lost mine with someone that I loved dearly...and still love....however he wasn't mine to hold onto in a sense and we parted as friends....but I still remember the day fondly and he made it pretty special for me...
A slightly different question though...if you met a guy/woman as a Swing Meet and you found out either afterwards or during that they were a virgin would it:
a) Put you off.
b) Turn you on even more.
c) Make you stop and have a serious conversation.
d) Another option?

24 May 2007

Quote by DreamerHelen
I watched the programme about the guy going to Amsterdam and found it quite an insightful programme although I kinda felt sorry for him because he openly admitted that he didn't fancy the woman that he lost his virginity with...and I thought that was really sad...
I lost mine with someone that I loved dearly...and still love....however he wasn't mine to hold onto in a sense and we parted as friends....but I still remember the day fondly and he made it pretty special for me...
A slightly different question though...if you met a guy/woman as a Swing Meet and you found out either afterwards or during that they were a virgin would it:
a) Put you off.
b) Turn you on even more.
c) Make you stop and have a serious conversation.
d) Another option?

I think I'd have to c and d Helen.
I would be uneasy taking someones virginity in such a possible it should be a very special thing done in a very special way with a very special person, just like it was for you.I don't think I could be the one for them, I'd urge them to find someone closer to them for that.