Mental Illness/Mental health and Sex

27 Sep 2007

Hi guys,
I was wondering what you think, how important is sex for mental well-being?
Has it got the potential to lift symptoms of depression or limit anxiety?
Was just going round in my mind. I think it is very important as it sets free happy hormons.
Luv
Pheline X

27 Sep 2007

I know that when I was very depressed last year the last thing I wanted to do was have sex and im guessing its the same for alot of people in the same position that I was in. Now im better I definatly think a good sex sesh is great for my wellbeing lol

27 Sep 2007

Y' know what, methinks this could be a very interesting discussion. Yup, sex releases endorphines which are meant to be a mood raiser. However, whenever the lovely (albeit long term depressive) Mr W and myself have sex in the morning, it's a recipe for disaster. He turns into an utterly cantankerous git for the rest of the day!
However, when I'm feeling blue (pun intended) I find I may not crave the physical side, but do crave the intimacy that lovemaking gives.

27 Sep 2007

Thanks for replying,
I think not being able to have sex because the partner does for some reason not want to can equally impact on mental well-being and can be depressing too.
Me i feel better if i have sex or masturbate lol it definately enhances my mental state lol.

27 Sep 2007

I think it depends on the individual rather than "does it/doesn't it" type questions. confused

(and I'm not having a pop at the question Pheline_Kevin ;) )
Plus for me there's a whole other set of variables and external forces that need to be considered along with my mental state at that time, complex bugger that I am. :lol2:
Plus there's another side to consider which is how medication could affect your drive, I know people who have been almost completely detached from the world and having sex felt "mechanical" at times, plus how medication might effect your ability to perform. One known side effect of medication for a small group of people is sexual dysfunction.
This is a particularly bad one for someone who has had a high sex drive in the past because it can add to their feelings of worthlessness and loss of hope and it's not just men who are effected, women may find they cannot reach climax either. sad

As for myself, I don't know if depression affected my drive or not. I have always had periods where I've had a high drive and then periods where I don't feel the need for anything. If I think about it I'd say that it probably did, but that was more in the way of feeling despondent and unmotivated about anything and not just my own sexual needs.

27 Sep 2007

Quote by Pheline_Kevin
Hi guys,
I was wondering what you think, how important is sex for mental well-being?
Has it got the potential to lift symptoms of depression or limit anxiety?
Was just going round in my mind. I think it is very important as it sets free happy hormons.
Luv
Pheline X

I think it depends on the individual - some people have a higher sex drive naturally, so not having sex could affect their wellbeing, I suppose.
It could probably become an issue if you and a long-term partner have mismatched sex drives, whether that's naturally or down to external factors such as medication or events happening in your life.
I don't now about lifting the symptoms of depression/anxiety if they are clinically diagnosed - but I know a good shag can lift my spirits somewhat! As you say, it releases happy hormones/endorphins smile

27 Sep 2007

Hi Easy
I am glad you gave your opinion and i did not take it as a pop at my question. I am aware that it is not as simple as having or not having sex and yes it is true that the way someone is feeling mentally and physically will affect their sex drive but i still feel that social and physical contact/intemacy with another human being is an important factor for mental well-being.
Luv
Pheline

27 Sep 2007

I have suffered from depression on and off for years.........dont know if it was the depression or the meds that affected my sex drive for years andd I mean years.
As a young, only married for a year couple, it was hard because my sex drive didnt just plummet, it completely disappeared. Couldnt stand any form of intimacy at all. I only had sex if i absolutely had to.....or if we wanted another baby.
It remained that way, maybe cos of a mixture of the meds, my depression, and my feelings about myself. Being a BBW, i was convinced that i wasnt sexy, and no matter how much hubby said, i felt that didnt count (he has to sday it after all....hes married to me lol

)
Thats not the only thing, but lack of self esteeem has a big part in it.
This went on for the last 10 yeras, until a chance remark from a mate who told me he found me really sexy, but had never had the guts to tell me. I began to realise that maybe I was sexy, and sad that it seems did some research on the net and found that loads of fellas like BBW's and that there are even top shelf magazines devoted to it :shock: you could have knocked me down with a feather!!
Suddenly i was feeling things i ahdnt felt since i was a teenager, and for whatever reason something clicked in my head and i felt sexy and desireable again, and wanted sex again, and lots of it.
I posed for and posted pics on the net, and the comments i got were unbelieveable.....really nice ones, all the fellas saying how sexy i was (does that sound really vain redface

) and my confidence and self esteem sky rocketed.
One of the posters on there asked me had i considered swinging before (er no....you have to like sex for that :lol: and gave me the link for....guess where?? S H
so we came for a look see, joined and the rest is history.........
now Im a sex mad hussy, still depressed mind, but at least i have a sex drive now
so back to the question....yes it does have an effect on your sex life, but some peeps go off it completely, and hate the nearness and the neediness of another person (as I did) others crave the love and attention to make them feel better, others just couldnt be arsed as they have no energy or inclination due to their meds or condition
just my take on this smile

28 Sep 2007

Thank you Bone for sharing that. The reason for my intrest was that i am training to be a mental health nurse, so trying to preserve or prevent mental health/illness. I have had depression in the past when my children were young and i lost all interest in sex even to the point that i had aggressive outbursts when my husband just appoached me. I also went of sex due to hormonal medication such as the pill. My interest in sex suddenly out of the blue reappeared and i am glad about that as i did not like to be that other woman who just functioned without any positive emotions and it also did affect our relationship as kevin craved to be close but i kept on pushing him away but i could not help it. As i said glad is over biggrin

. Depression is a nasty illness like most of mental illnessess are.
Luv
Phelinex

28 Sep 2007

A few years ago, a lot of things were going on in my family and I was feeling down, very anxious but not full blown depressed. However, my doctors prescribed Prozac for a little while to calm me down.
After a month I went back as my ability to orgasm had gone and he said "what do you want? to feel better or have an orgasm?" :shock: I was gutted because he made me feel that I shouldn't be having sex and instead concentrating on getting better.
My view is, having sex and orgasms leave you with a feel good factor, it apparently releases seratonin which is a good hormone.
There is no rule book to say you shouldn't be having sex if you are depressed. It's up to the individual and how you feel.
Now hun, go bonk away and enjoy it! hump

28 Sep 2007

What I say is if you are felling low find something to do that you enjoy, then do it, so long as it hurts no one else.
I know that there comes a time when one has left it to late, and enjoyment is the last thing on one's mind. All the more reason to act quickly!
So if one likes sex, do it!

28 Sep 2007

If/when im a little depressed theres usually no way that I feel like having sex. It would actually make me feel worse because I like to be totally in to it and if I was feeling low, then I wouldnt be able to do that. Normally a cuddle works for me :thumbup:
Louise xx

28 Sep 2007

Yeah, anit depressants have an effect on your sex drive etc Not do some people not feel like it, you stop thinking about it.
I was seeing a guy for a while who was on quite a high dosage of a mixture of Anit D's, he might want sex but there was no feeling in it whatsoever for him...
Its like kissing and smiling, they have a feel good factor about them, both make you feel happy, relaxed and improves your health and mood... and kissing is good for your teeth (mmmm.....wheres the kissing thread) lol

xanaisx

28 Sep 2007

A good shag helps my mood but you have to get yourself in the frame of mind for one in the first place...catch 22 lol