Moderators or Lackeys?

2 Jan 2006

I don't think having a dig at the mods as a group is either justified or constructive. It's up to each individual mod to decide what they're prepared to do.
I haven't been 'round here much so I haven't seen the full effect of the changed membership, but I have heard and I guess it hasn't been easy to mod.
What really saddens me is that we've split away and then split away again, which has really fragmented us. Some people have subsequently taken up positions, which has driven a wedge between friends. This is very sad indeed and I'm really missing some of you guys and gals - you just ain't where you used to be - in the mix and having fun.
No real solution to this - what's done is done I guess.

2 Jan 2006

Quote by postie
I am really hoping this doesn't get me banned.

are you?

But having read the last few posts that have been locked, there seems to have been a fundemental shift in the way the mods are locking posts. I may be mistaken, but it seems anything critical of what is going on in this site is locked.

I agree, bloody annoying cos I would just love to get stuck into some of the points raised, but I'm also willing to cut some slack and assume good reasoning behind it.

Lee of gingerjolee made a very valid point. The post was then locked.

don't know postie havn't read it, which is unusual ,cos at the moment I havn't come to the conclusions that you have further down that, .....basically without you and a number of other posters whom incidently I miss ...this place is crap and the threads and posts not worth reading, how fucking arrogant is that!....cheers postie we know our worth, what fuckwits some of us have been posting on here all this time only to suddenly realise we add up to jack shit and ain't worth the read.

A member was apparentl;y banned, but then after contacting admin he was unbanned. His opening line was "i have paid my Â£50" which leads to the point that do paying members here have more lateral than us regulars?

Can't answer that postie, but I said a while back that a different strategy for handling paying members would be needed and I'm guessing that this is going to be a right bastard to sort out to ensure the customers keep coming.

But what i am really saying is this - that SH isn't what we know. Most of us regulars, some bloody good people, hardly touch this site with a barge pole now. This entire forum is dying. The people who held this site together have been left high and dry and don't even know how the Moderators will react.

I wholeheartedly agree with you, but jeez, if only those that you've mentioned above were still posting, it could all be so different. I havn't posted half as much on here lately, but through all the dross, there has been some really good posters coming in, who, had they been given the benefit of reading a thriving cafe forum, would have helped the place get back into gear quickly and would have kept the dickheads at bay, with the increased wit and cutting sarcasm that has often been cited as unessary, but in reality, has proved a very good modding tool.

Personally, I am sick of it. I am only a member for one reason, and I have stated that elsewhere. But presuming at least a couple of Mods see this, before it is dragged down, why are you Modding in here? This site ISN'T anything remotely like it was, any simpleton can spot it. WHO are you modding for? Because one cursory look at the names logged in shows you no one you recognise.

No it most certainly isnt how it was, but it so easily could be. Who are the mods modding for? perhaps those folk that want to come into the cafe as newbies and just like you, me and all those others that are missing, help to provide a place where they can really have some fun, but then as you've already said, names that are not recognisable aint worth modding for :shock:

To me , to be 100% honest. I thought you lot had more backbone. If you want to Mod on a site this means dealing with and possibly being over-ruled because the person you banned has paid money, then , i guess thats what you are happy with.
For the rest of us, who have moved on elsewhere, I'll just say this: the Mods who aren't modding on this site have a better grip of reality.
Yep, this is a moan. Yep you can lock it for that reason, because that seems to be the common currency these days. But I hope you don't.

I'm glad that this hasn't been locked yet, not because I wanted to necessarily answer all the points you've raised postie, but because I want to echo a few points raised by others.
I can only speak about the cafe here, because thats the only place that I used under the old regime and therefore any comparrisons on other areas just aint right.
You are so right about the impact to the cafe with regard to the fact that you and a whole list of other folk don't post anymore, its a bloody shame, because posting successfully on these things is so much more than just hitting a button, its about having a personallity that can shine throw each of those key strokes. It might be an abrasive personallity, a sense of humour, a bent for debate, or a number of other traits, or combinations and most of those, that you and I know as previousely regular posters, had that ability and by fuck the cafe's a worser place because they are not here, but here is the rub.
With the changes came an opening up of the site and for the first time a huge number of folk sudenly became aware of the cafe and for the first time, started posting, those posters came in the full range from the one line 'monkey slappers' to the sharp and articulate, in short amongst the mountain of dross came some bloody good posters, who are trying their best, but drowning because there are not enough people with the necessary ability to support their threads and posts to the level that there was before, forget the soddin mods for a minute, it was the regular posters that made the place ebb and flow, it was us who decided if a posters style fitted in or not, it was us that chased off the numpties and it was us that helped folk establish their own style and personality. At times it might not have been seen as helping with barbed comment and sharp wit, but it was, because anyone who was gonna make a serious contribution could actually work that out.
Despite an intimation that those of us left posting on here are simpletons that aint worth modding for, I'd like to think I still know how to post and therefore will cut this way short of what I want to say cos I know folk don't bother if its too long.
You and most of the other guys that made the place what it was, have moved on and from what I see, are making a real success there, the place is vibrant, freindly and funny and I will be joining you when I am finally done with this place, because I so miss what was and so lament what could have been had the energies of influential posters have been put to more positive use, but as yet I'm not done.
I've said it before and will happily repeat it, you are a damn good poster and as it turns out, a bit of a shephard and like a few others, I don't particularly want to fall out with you, but sheep have got teeth and no matter how thick they are, a good shephard will show em respect, cos backed into a corner, where they realise they have just been used, the fuckers will bite.

2 Jan 2006

Well postie, you are so waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off the mark with this one it is almost like you are simply out to discredit the SH mods for your own ends--- to influence membership at the site you are currently modding, maybe? I am setting the record straight here, not cos I want to change your mind.... this is for me, not you.... and for anyone who might have heard stories that are completely untrue, of course!
When the take over at SH happened the mods were just as clueless as you guys as to what would happen with the site. We found out what those changes would entail only a short time before you did. We have had no influence over any changes made. They were imposed on us, as they were with you. We were deeply concerned about the proposed changes, as I suspect was everyone else. When the changes actually came in the mods initially had very little by the way of mod functions. We could move threads, but that was about it. The admin did work to give us functionality back and we can now delete, lock, ban, and so on. But due to the login changes there are many more people logging into the forum who know nothing about the community that is already here. Most of the traffic through SH has always been through the ads. Now there is a unified login, people who would never have even see the forum are noticing it and having a look. Can you blame them? No. But I ask you -- what do you want us to do to protect the community? We could ban anyone from the forum who is not aware of the community, or who comes on and posts a daft thread. Do you want that? To get the community back to how it was we'd have to be a whole lot stricter about who was allowed on here. Do you want that? No -- you mustn't do as you are bitching about the amount of locked threads. Yet, you are bitching about the lack of community? Errrrrrrrrrrrr.......... help me out here.... cos you seem to be saying one thing and expecting us to do another. You want us to mod, yet you dont want us to mod.............. errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr............... right........... Soooooooooooo.......... I say again... postie, you are sooooooo very off the mark that it looks like you are simply here to discredit us to influence the membership at the site you are currently modding. Is that true? Or maybe you simply havent thought this through and you are now feeling a tad silly for sounding off about something you know little about. Eh.... which is it postie?
Let's put it a simpler way... just to clarify. There are still the same number of mods here but there are many more people logging on to the forum, most of whom know nothing about the community. They are bound to get things wrong, they are bound to assume this is just a sex site... cos, come on, that's what it has become. Do you want us to moid these people or not?
And for anyone who thinks that the mods on here have sold out.... You know nothing. You lot only see a fraction of the modding that goes on on this site. the site is so huge, just dealing with behind the scenes queries, bannings, and so on, is very time consuming... that is before any of us come and do any visual modding on the boards. We do not get paid. We have no benefits from the new charges. We do it in our own time, when we fit it into our lives. Awwwwwww, yeah, we don''t have to do it. But we do. Why? power, maybe? Well, not for me. To help the community? Hell yeah! Now, as I said, there are only a few of us and a lot of "them". If you are unhappy with this way the site is moderated, perhaps the admin need more mods? But that is not for you to decide, or us... that is the admins decision. If the admin are unhappy with the way the site is modded, perhaps they should do something about it. Getting more mods is one way. It could be YOU --- why not ask them if they'll give you a go? Then you will see how damn hard it is!!!!!!!!!! Go on postie and anyone else who wants a pop, do it!
But, in short - postie - you know FULL WELL that the site changes, admin decisions and so on, are NOTHING to do with the mods... so why direct your anger towards the mods.... unless of course you have a personal issue with us?
Now, if anyone has a mind to think about what has happened over the last few months, I mean REALLY think about it... what can you see? A lot of changes at SH. The community unhappy. Following me so far? Then on the back of the SH changes a couple of small sites were set up. One is that which postie is currently modding and the other is the one that the SH mods are running. Postie, as I see it, your site is thriving. It has its regs, it has a fun atmosphere, and I visit every day. There may be more sites as well, but I think these are the two that are of issue to you, are they not postie? I am assuming that neither was set up to compete with SH, but just to give somewhere for the community that seemed disatisfied on here somewhere to play and have fun. Am I right postie? Is it the case that the SH mods are considered to have sold out cos we are modding on another site. Is this true? But please tell me, how is this selling out exactly? It is still the same community..... errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr............................. selling out of what? Tell me, please! There are many sites out there that are alternatives to SH... if you do not like it here, or the site that postie mods on, or the one that we mod on, just go and find one you DO like.... crikey... not hard, is it! Maybe you can't be arsed to think about all this? Don't blame you. All this petty politics is not fun. We are here to have fun, are we not..... so let's go and have it.... on any damn site we choose! What do you say postie?
Well, that's my little piece. The truth as I see it. Feel free to PM and ask any questions you want. Feel free to flame the balls off me. I don't care.
Ha.

2 Jan 2006

Here's a simplified version of what I wrote earlier. Nothing to do with a lot of the regs moving on to a new free site,
There is a post on the LMU, and it's not going to be the last one of its kind in my opinion, but the guy after having one of his replies deleted by a Mod, then comes back later and says this:

Quote by gingerminge38
I need to be very careful what I write here because My account was banned for six months after my original comments last night. Obviously I'm back and thx to admin for that at least. I'll walk on egg shells from now on but I'm rather confused as to why it's okay to personally abuse me with certain comments that have arisen from my initial thread. I'll keep this short because as I say it seems I'm at a disadvantage...

Now from what I can gather, this seems to me to be a case of a paying member being able to get un-banned simply because he has paid money. Which makes me wonder if the regular users of this forum have less rights than those who pay.
I poke my nose in here occasionally to see who is about, but like others I think this has become less of a swinging site and the "community" isn't here anymore, so there isn't a point to staying on and trying to make it work. Especially as now it seems that Â£Â£Â£'s come before ethics.
It seems to me that those Mods who have been left to Moderate here ( and others are notable by their absence) would never have put up with the kind of idiocy that is awash on the forum now.
The lunatics have taken over the asylum and they are welcome to it. Once the present munches i am down for have ended, I can't see a single reason to be here.

2 Jan 2006

I was writing the above while you were writing blue, and that was obviously without seeing your reply.
Will try and answer some of your points there, as I think a lot of the things you say are completely correct.

2 Jan 2006

Quote by bluexxx
Well postie, you are so waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off the mark with this one it is almost like you are simply out to discredit the SH mods for your own ends--- to influence membership at the site you are currently modding, maybe?.

That thought never crossed my mind rolleyes

2 Jan 2006

Quote by PoloLady
Well postie, you are so waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off the mark with this one it is almost like you are simply out to discredit the SH mods for your own ends--- to influence membership at the site you are currently modding, maybe?.

That thought never crossed my mind rolleyes

Well, it was just a stab in the dark.... I could be wrong. I look forward to your comments, postie.

2 Jan 2006

Quote by bluexxx
Well, it was just a stab in the dark....

How dark was the dark? Given time the human eye will adjust to the level of light and can see enough to know what is happening wink

2 Jan 2006

Quote by postie
I need to be very careful what I write here because My account was banned for six months after my original comments last night. Obviously I'm back and thx to admin for that at least. I'll walk on egg shells from now on but I'm rather confused as to why it's okay to personally abuse me with certain comments that have arisen from my initial thread. I'll keep this short because as I say it seems I'm at a disadvantage...

Now from what I can gather, this seems to me to be a case of a paying member being able to get un-banned simply because he has paid money. Which makes me wonder if the regular users of this forum have less rights than those who pay.

People get banned for lots of reasons and for different durations, if they email requesting a review of the decision, seem to understand the reasons some are given another chance, some are not. The ones that have paid get treated exactly the same as everyone else.

2 Jan 2006

Quote by postie
Here's a simplified version of what I wrote earlier. Nothing to do with a lot of the regs moving on to a new free site,
There is a post on the LMU, and it's not going to be the last one of its kind in my opinion, but the guy after having one of his replies deleted by a Mod, then comes back later and says this:
I need to be very careful what I write here because My account was banned for six months after my original comments last night. Obviously I'm back and thx to admin for that at least. I'll walk on egg shells from now on but I'm rather confused as to why it's okay to personally abuse me with certain comments that have arisen from my initial thread. I'll keep this short because as I say it seems I'm at a disadvantage...

Now from what I can gather, this seems to me to be a case of a paying member being able to get un-banned simply because he has paid money. Which makes me wonder if the regular users of this forum have less rights than those who pay.
.
What you are gathering is just moss. There is more to this than just a paying member getting unbanned - and anyweay, didn't YOU get unbanned despite not paying a penny? Didn't Polo Lady get unbanned, despite not paying a penny? I don't get your point.
And you haven't answered my question about 'more lateral' yet?

2 Jan 2006

this is getting really stupid now.
postie i do like you but coming in here and being like this is causing alot of upset.
some of us have been members of this site for a long while, we have seen members come and go for various reasons, new blood comes through the doors, some stay around others dont.
i know the site changes have upset a few people , and i know there is another site simmiler that you are now on and a MOD on.
maybe this site wont be the place for some members , but to be honest your attitude to those of us still here is upsetting and i for one would now feel unwelcome to visit "your" site. i dont think its very good practice for a MOd from another site to come in and attempt to upset users of another site.
we are not all loosers, or spineless to remain here, some old members and new members are still contributing to the site and although your sig sugests we are not swingers i think we will all tend to disagree.
can we not just let this go, fair enough your upset with the new owners , but why come and take it out on us , people you once considered friends. its tandamount to rasism and abuse , lets just try and live side by side.
xxxxx lou xxxx

2 Jan 2006

Quote by Jags
Didn't Polo Lady get unbanned, despite not paying a penny?

Yeah - sorry - cheques in the post redface

But I think st3v3 has just pretty much squashed postie's ASSumption.

2 Jan 2006

If you look back through the searches you will find debates regarding the 'unhappiness' of people of this site. This has always been the case and always will be with such a diverse membership.
Ok I dont like some of the changes (ie the influx of the sex brigade) but I do like others.
No this site is not the only site I frequent, I also use 2 other sites.
Yes one of the other sites seems to have the community spirit in full force IMO.
I also try and help peeps behind the scenes, but there again I always have. I am not going to knock the mods nor am I going to support them, after all they are only human and will make mistakes. But that goes for every single one of us.
Postie hun, the site might not be what you want it to be, the people on here may not do want you want them to, we may all leave the site to the 'sex brigade' BUT rather than peeps splitting up and causing offence to others, why not smile, say thanks for the good times and leave it at that.
After all if we are the close community as we are supposed to be, what does it matter who is where, who is doing something else etc etc, we will all know how to contact our friends, be with our friends and keep the community spirit alive whether its on 1, 2, 3, 4 sites, msn, or any other chat facility.
I have about 150 email addresses and 50 telephone numbers. If I sent a message to each of them asking for them to contact their contacts, by the end of the week every single member of this community would have had at least 1 phone call or 1 email.
My point being is there is always a way to contact and stay in touch with our friends, regardless of whether the community on SH moves away or not.

2 Jan 2006

However, I for one would love to see the mods without backbones - the sexual positions would be amazing :twisted:

2 Jan 2006

Quote by PoloLady
However, I for one would love to see the mods without backbones - the sexual positions would be amazing :twisted:

oooooo pololady, naughty naughty, are you one of the sex brigade lol

:lol:
But I like the thought wink

2 Jan 2006

Quote by Jags
Here's a simplified version of what I wrote earlier. Nothing to do with a lot of the regs moving on to a new free site,
There is a post on the LMU, and it's not going to be the last one of its kind in my opinion, but the guy after having one of his replies deleted by a Mod, then comes back later and says this:
I need to be very careful what I write here because My account was banned for six months after my original comments last night. Obviously I'm back and thx to admin for that at least. I'll walk on egg shells from now on but I'm rather confused as to why it's okay to personally abuse me with certain comments that have arisen from my initial thread. I'll keep this short because as I say it seems I'm at a disadvantage...

Now from what I can gather, this seems to me to be a case of a paying member being able to get un-banned simply because he has paid money. Which makes me wonder if the regular users of this forum have less rights than those who pay.
.
What you are gathering is just moss. There is more to this than just a paying member getting unbanned - and anyway, didn't YOU get unbanned despite not paying a penny? Didn't Polo Lady get unbanned, despite not paying a penny? I don't get your point.
And you haven't answered my question about 'more lateral' yet?
Just wanted this to be read again.
:P

2 Jan 2006

""There is no Emoticon for the wat I feel""
I have put off commenting on this thread till now and I only have one comment to make :-
SNAFU
phredd

2 Jan 2006

:
what does that stand for???
xx lou xxx

2 Jan 2006

Quote by Jags
What you are gathering is just moss. There is more to this than just a paying member getting unbanned - and anyway, didn't YOU get unbanned despite not paying a penny? Didn't Polo Lady get unbanned, despite not paying a penny? I don't get your point.
And you haven't answered my question about 'more lateral' yet?

Just wanted this to be read again.
:P
wave

OK, seeing as you asked first Jags biggrin

I mean by "lateral" they have more leeway in what they can post... I think commercial decisions will be considered when it comes to someone being banned. ( or unbanned)

2 Jan 2006

Quote by fem_4_taboo
:
what does that stand for???
xx lou xxx

Situation Normal, All F *cked Up

2 Jan 2006

Quote by BiWelshMinx
:
what does that stand for???
xx lou xxx

Situation Normal, All F *cked Up
Minxy lol

The answer was sent by PM xx
phredd :love:

2 Jan 2006

Quote by postie

What you are gathering is just moss. There is more to this than just a paying member getting unbanned - and anyway, didn't YOU get unbanned despite not paying a penny? Didn't Polo Lady get unbanned, despite not paying a penny? I don't get your point.
And you haven't answered my question about 'more lateral' yet?

Just wanted this to be read again.
:P

OK, seeing as you asked first Jags
I mean by "lateral" they have more leeway in what they can post... I think commercial decisions will be considered when it comes to someone being banned. ( or unbanned)

Not sure you're using the correct word there - but, as I said YOU got unbanned without paying as have many others. And St3v3 has already answered from the Admin point of view when we wrote on the previous page:

People get banned for lots of reasons and for different durations, if they email requesting a review of the decision, seem to understand the reasons some are given another chance, some are not. The ones that have paid get treated exactly the same as everyone else.

So, end of that particular discussion.
rolleyes

2 Jan 2006

Quote by Fred aka Medic 1
:
what does that stand for???
xx lou xxx

Situation Normal, All F *cked Up
Minxy lol

The answer was sent by PM xx
phredd :love:
:doh: heheh
:kiss:
Minx x x
p.s I feel the same sad

2 Jan 2006

This Forum is still Cool considering some of the changes and new blood its attracting, However it is not quite as good as it was when i joined but hey times change and i find its better to be optimistic than pessimistic smile

....... There is good and bad in EVERY proffesion!

2 Jan 2006

Bloody Hell.....Is this what it was like just before the English Civil War????
Good job Oliver Cromwell and King Charles didn't have the Internet, might have turned out really nasty!!!
We jump round each of the three sites and have found that each has good and bad points and we post on all of them, depends which topic catches our eye(s) on each site. Just takes a bit more time out of our day. Maybe given time the whole thing will settle out again.
John & Shel

2 Jan 2006

hey there will always be changes ,life goes on ,but we all here looking for fun and we all all looking for different things and would not be looking if we did not enjoy so let mods do what they can as best as they can ,the sites been taken over and we just got to make the best of what we can,the munch meets will still go on and ppl will get to see all our mates so come on swinging heaven is still here. biggrin

2 Jan 2006

I just wrote a long reply to bluexx and lost it when i hit submit, i think i spent too long composing it rather than any glitch. Anyhows.
summarised:
blue you are right, i aint happy, i get annoyed at whats happening here, i don't like commercialisation ( from a personal view) but get confused as to how the Mods here can work for those making money from this.
I don't think many of those who used to post on here would have been here in the first place if we'd have to of paid Â£50.
I don't think i am helping the balance of happiness by whinging. I'll shut the fuck up biggrin

2 Jan 2006

I don't see the point in moaning.
The site was bought,
the new owners want to make money,
if you don't like it go somewhere else.
I did
(well and come back here sometimes and post)
PS But don't go to anywhere by Dating Central/BoneFish as they are a fraud.

2 Jan 2006

Quote by northeastcoupleuk
hey there will always be changes ,life goes on ,but we all here looking for fun and we all all looking for different things and would not be looking if we did not enjoy so let mods do what they can as best as they can ,the sites been taken over and we just got to make the best of what we can,the munch meets will still go on and ppl will get to see all our mates so come on swinging heaven is still here.

2 Jan 2006

Quote by freckledbird
hey there will always be changes ,life goes on ,but we all here looking for fun and we all all looking for different things and would not be looking if we did not enjoy so let mods do what they can as best as they can ,the sites been taken over and we just got to make the best of what we can,the munch meets will still go on and ppl will get to see all our mates so come on swinging heaven is still here.

The only possible divisive thing I can see is that the SH munch as we know it, will only be open to SH members. If anyone has defected with no likelihood of return, they wouldn't be eligible to attend. Then again, they are less likely to want to attend if they've defected I suppose.
The 'job' of organiser could get very complicated if that person decided to open up a party to all three sites' members.
As I understood munches were only ever for members of SH anyway..
As for opening it up to other sites...
Wouldnt be a munch then would it.....Would be a private party and the organiser could then invite who they wanted to.. :D