Modern technology hates me

2 Oct 2005

GRRRRRRRRR mad

I've told you before about all the problems I've had with mobile phones over the years..... but that's the least of my worries..... Modern technology hates me.... it sees me coming, laughs, and ceases to work evil

:evil: :evil: :evil:
Take printers for example......... my one at home broke, so eventually I bought a new one... I work at home quite a bit so I was getting a bit stuck without one. Anyways, it worked fine til I needed to print something to post quite urgently... and what did it do? FLucking conked out.... so I went to work to print my doc.... and what did my printer do there? Bloody break down confused

... two technicians later, they decided it was broken........ no shit! Three weeks later they decided that I was important enough to be granted a new one rolleyes

:roll: :roll: :roll:
Anyways, today it's cold, so I tried to put my central heating on. Will it work....? Will it bollocks..... even the instruction book gives no indication of the problem............ See, central heating boilers hate me..... they hate more more than any other piece of technology in the world..... one a few years ago tried to gas me, then at another house it wouldn't work unless everything was turned up so high it was like a sauna, then my next one......... well, Â£800 later it finally worked.......... now this one is on the bloody blink.
Not happy (and cold!!!)
:x

2 Oct 2005

calm down chuck just post in LMU for a guy to warm you up but make sure hes a corgy regs engenier rolleyes

2 Oct 2005

And make sure he has the right parts with him wink

2 Oct 2005

Quote by bluexxx
GRRRRRRRRR
I've told you before about all the problems I've had with mobile phones over the years..... but that's the least of my worries..... Modern technology hates me.... it sees me coming, laughs, and ceases to work :evil: :evil: :evil:
Take printers for example......... my one at home broke, so eventually I bought a new one... I work at home quite a bit so I was getting a bit stuck without one. Anyways, it worked fine til I needed to print something to post quite urgently... and what did it do? FLucking conked out.... so I went to work to print my doc.... and what did my printer do there? Bloody break down ... two technicians later, they decided it was broken........ no shit! Three weeks later they decided that I was important enough to be granted a new one :roll: :roll: :roll:
Anyways, today it's cold, so I tried to put my central heating on. Will it work....? Will it bollocks..... even the instruction book gives no indication of the problem............ See, central heating boilers hate me..... they hate more more than any other piece of technology in the world..... one a few years ago tried to gas me, then at another house it wouldn't work unless everything was turned up so high it was like a sauna, then my next one......... well, Â£800 later it finally worked.......... now this one is on the bloody blink.
Not happy (and cold!!!)
:x

You're welcome at mine - it's roasting....I'll come a collect you.... wink

Marcus..... cool

2 Oct 2005

Edited out - second thoughts.

2 Oct 2005

Just like animals, technical things can sense your animosity. You must approach them in a non-threatening way, open handed and show that you mean them no harm. Then when you have won their trust, grab them and show them that YOU, not them, are the boss!!
Course if that doesn't work I always find a sledge hammer releives any pent-up emotion!!
John

2 Oct 2005

Pay your gas bill and get reconnected.

2 Oct 2005

Quote by bluexxx
.....Anyways, today it's cold, so I tried to put my central heating on. Will it work....? Will it bollocks..... even the instruction book gives no indication of the problem............ See, central heating boilers hate me..... they hate more more than any other piece of technology in the world..... one a few years ago tried to gas me, then at another house it wouldn't work unless everything was turned up so high it was like a sauna, then my next one......... well, Â£800 later it finally worked.......... now this one is on the bloody blink.
Not happy (and cold!!!)

Have you tried
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/58366.html
:smug:

2 Oct 2005

Quote by bluexxx
.....Anyways, today it's cold, so I tried to put my central heating on. Will it work....? Will it bollocks..... even the instruction book gives no indication of the problem............ See, central heating boilers hate me..... they hate more more than any other piece of technology in the world..... one a few years ago tried to gas me, then at another house it wouldn't work unless everything was turned up so high it was like a sauna, then my next one......... well, Â£800 later it finally worked.......... now this one is on the bloody blink.
Not happy (and cold!!!)

Well put yer thermal knickers on........ you know those big ones that you keep in the bottom of yer knicker drawer, pair of bed socks, 3 nighties, and a wooly hat, get back into bed and.............. bobs yer uncle :grin:
Look on the bright side, it's only technology that doesn't like you lol

2 Oct 2005

just forget the bed socks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wink

2 Oct 2005

When was the last time you fed your technology? Do you just expect a dog for example to behave and do as its told when it hasn't eaten in over a month? No. Stop complaining, feed your darn boiler/phone/printer etc... stroke them. Be nice to them. Read them a story every once in a while. They will show their appreciation by keeping you cosy warm at night, let you know when people contact you and print things worthy of a magazine printworks.
I've actually read a few adverts stating that they were wanting a computer technician to come and fix their computer. In return the lady will service him. Have you thought about that? Sex for heat. Blowjob for prints. Spanking for a working phone.
Just a thought.

3 Oct 2005

Quote by mattmoleman
When was the last time you fed your technology? Do you just expect a dog for example to behave and do as its told when it hasn't eaten in over a month? No. Stop complaining, feed your darn boiler/phone/printer etc... stroke them. Be nice to them. Read them a story every once in a while.

So, threatening to take them to the vets have have them put down doesn't work then.
Nor does the hammer.
Bum. Looks like calling someone out then rolleyes

3 Oct 2005

Just think of all the money you saving !!!!!!!

3 Oct 2005

I think some appliances are programmed to hate us.........
The photocopier.............. with its eternal paper jam....
The phone..... that loses its signal just in the middle of that important call....
The video...... i set it to record... and it changes the channel and records something else....
The laptop...... although hanging it out of the window normally restores things...... lol
Its as if they just wait for us to touch them and then they give out fields of negativity so that we cannot make them work...... but the very next person who comes along.... it works instantly..... making us look extremely stupid and foolish.......
equi-princess xxx

3 Oct 2005

Have a hug Blue - me thinks its all thats gonna go right passionkiss

3 Oct 2005

Quote by prman
I am offering a free plumbing service for women in lancashire in return for sexual favours. Please pm me for details or email my verified email address

Ok not quite the right area, but I'm sure with your powers of persuasion x

3 Oct 2005

Nemind Bloo , plumbers love you ! XX

3 Oct 2005

I love technology. I decided I needed a radio/alarm clock to fall asleep to. So then I thought it might as well be digital. So then I thought it might as well be a good one with a hard drive (no, I'm still talking radio/alarms) so I can record programs or pause and rewind them. So I bought The Bug. The Pure Bug.
Brilliant. Interesting morning program? Need a shower? Pause the program - shower - continue. Magic. Excellent quality.
BUT..... He comes on in the middle of the night! Two in the morning - no warning - Virgin Radio is blasting out. And I've set it to record Andy Kershaw with the speakers off so the speakers are off for EVERYTHING. And he bleeps in the morning because I've asked him too but I can't stop him! And then I can't make the radio work and... and...
To cut a long story short, he and I have an appointment with Relate in the morning.
Jezzay
PS My boiler keeps cutting out too but I've got him sussed. He cuts out on Low, I reset on High and vice versa. He hasn't got this sussed yet.

3 Oct 2005

Ever thought that it may be technology starting to take over? Why for instance when one of my PCs crashed, did the other join it? Leaving me to repair both at the same time.
Machines and Technology seem to comunicate with each other.
I'm getting worried.
John
lol

4 Oct 2005

thats nuthin, i can t even get the chat room in here to work n im the it guy for my dept @ work lol. any regs wanna help me out id be dead chuffed!! biggrin

4 Oct 2005

Quote by wooha
thats nuthin, i can t even get the chat room in here ti work n im the it guy for my dept @ work lol. any regs wanna help me out id be dead chuffed!!

http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/main/help.html#chatroom
Just an update on my boiler problem........... seems now to be working OK(ish)...... I'd be warm except for a couple of rads that seem to have gone on strike :dry:
Still having problems with the mobile though rolleyes

Another one I forgot that Equi-Princess mentioned ----- photocopiers

---- they take one look at me and die...... obviously I'm not the only one...... we have one at work that must be in love with the engineer, it craves his attention 24/7 :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

4 Oct 2005

Quote by bluexxx
thats nuthin, i can t even get the chat room in here ti work n im the it guy for my dept @ work lol. any regs wanna help me out id be dead chuffed!!

except for a couple of rads that seem to have gone on strike :dry:

Assuming you haven't.....bleed the air out of them..!!!!
Marcus.... cool

4 Oct 2005

Quote by cheekychimp
Assuming you haven't.....bleed the air out of them..!!!!
Marcus....

Yeah, I know...... another little problem I have is knowing there's a bleed key somewhere in the house and now not being able to find it.... it was knocking around here in the summer ---- oh the irony :lol2:

4 Oct 2005

Quote by bluexxx

Assuming you haven't.....bleed the air out of them..!!!!
Marcus....

Yeah, I know...... another little problem I have is knowing there's a bleed key somewhere in the house and now not being able to find it.... it was knocking around here in the summer ---- oh the irony :lol2:
I can hear you shouting...'where's the bleedin key'....sorry.... biggrin

CheekyChimp..... 8-)
p.s. I've got a few bleedin keys and could always pop one over to you..!

4 Oct 2005

Quote by cheekychimp
p.s. I've got a few bleedin keys and could always pop one over to you..!

Or I could just pop round to my dad's and borrow his

4 Oct 2005

Quote by bluexxx
p.s. I've got a few bleedin keys and could always pop one over to you..!

Or I could just pop round to my dad's and borrow his
Dad's are great for things like that.....x
CheekyChimp.... cool

4 Oct 2005

Quote by bluexxx
Another one I forgot that Equi-Princess mentioned ----- photocopiers ---- they take one look at me and die...... obviously I'm not the only one...... we have one at work that must be in love with the engineer, it craves his attention 24/7 :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

I keep getting visions in my head of you sitting ont he photocopier. Not sure why but it brings a smile to my face.
You do know that they aren't designed to take pictures of your arse don't you?

4 Oct 2005

Quote by mattmoleman
I keep getting visions in my head of you sitting ont he photocopier. Not sure why but it brings a smile to my face.
You do know that they aren't designed to take pictures of your arse don't you?

Me and the offending photocopier aren't that intimate, the closest it's ever come to feeling any of my body parts is through my boots :kick: lol

4 Oct 2005

Quote by bluexxx

I keep getting visions in my head of you sitting ont he photocopier. Not sure why but it brings a smile to my face.
You do know that they aren't designed to take pictures of your arse don't you?

Me and the offending photocopier aren't that intimate, the closest it's ever come to feeling any of my body parts is through my boots :kick: lol

Thats good. I was going to say. You've got a perfectly good camera for that kind of thing. (Thinks back to the loverly shot you did when you first bought it) cool

4 Oct 2005

Quote by mattmoleman
You've got a perfectly good camera for that kind of thing. (Thinks back to the loverly shot you did when you first bought it)

Humph............ more technology that makes me go..... banghead

...........
The first digi cam I got was cheap but took good pics...... til I dropped it rolleyes

... I bought another (equally cheap) and it's shite............................
:roll: :roll: :roll:
:lol2: