Sex God
Its as we suspected in the first thread guys ........hes just not hearing the bits that dont suit his agenda. Id give this one a miss if I were you . I intend to from now on .
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Moral Dilemma II (update for those who remember the first)
Pleasure-seeker. I may be mistaken on this, but Relate isn't just there for couples. I think you can go there for advice as one half of a couple, and they will talk to you about the best approach to take on asking your wife to attend with you at a future date. Give them a bell, or look up their website.
As for asking people on here, I don't see a problem with it, basically you are asking for advice, if people want to give it... fine, if you want to accept it...fine.
I thought at first, in your original thread, you had a hidden agenda, but maybe not now. Maybe we are swingers, but I can't think of a better place to go on the t'internet to get a better discussion on mis-matched sex drives than asking the people here. It's a valid question, there are people with opposite views, the subject of sex isn't and most importantly, you will get honest and well thought out replies to your problem.
Hope it sorts out for you, or else you'll be sitting on your computer, like me, in a years time typing away as a single fella, as I was in the same boat as you, as i replied on the original thread. Strangely I am probably having less sex now than when i was in a long term relationship that had a mis-matched sex drive problem. Which was very frustrating and upsetting for many and varied reasons too complicated to explain here. Now, even though i am having less sex, it is far easier to cope with, as I am not being "rejected" every night when i get into bed. In fact life is good. But I miss many other things that came with my relationship... you have to know you may lose things you don't even know you have now.
Hope that helps a bit.
As for asking people on here, I don't see a problem with it, basically you are asking for advice, if people want to give it... fine, if you want to accept it...fine.
I thought at first, in your original thread, you had a hidden agenda, but maybe not now. Maybe we are swingers, but I can't think of a better place to go on the t'internet to get a better discussion on mis-matched sex drives than asking the people here. It's a valid question, there are people with opposite views, the subject of sex isn't and most importantly, you will get honest and well thought out replies to your problem.
Hope it sorts out for you, or else you'll be sitting on your computer, like me, in a years time typing away as a single fella, as I was in the same boat as you, as i replied on the original thread. Strangely I am probably having less sex now than when i was in a long term relationship that had a mis-matched sex drive problem. Which was very frustrating and upsetting for many and varied reasons too complicated to explain here. Now, even though i am having less sex, it is far easier to cope with, as I am not being "rejected" every night when i get into bed. In fact life is good. But I miss many other things that came with my relationship... you have to know you may lose things you don't even know you have now.
Hope that helps a bit.
Sex God
Come on Pleasure seeker, get it together..................
I like many others sympathised with your plight on the first thread, and I still sympathise now BUT...............
You need to stop asking the same things over and over again, and get on and do something about it. Every post on this thread has merits of one sort or another, and many people have offered good advice, when are you going to start following it?
The last thread got heated, because some of the ladies were unhappy with the morals involved, ok it's up to you whether you agree with that line or not but sorry mate, you either go out and play, and run the risk of divorce, (and some of the issues that Postie has just inferred in his post), or you go and sort it out. Relate could help, even on your own. It could be that if you open up to someone who is actually trained to understand these issues (unlike most of us lot who go by our own feelings and experiences), you will get a balanced view of what the problem is, and some guidance on what to do about it. Either way you must make that decision.
Good luck !
M
I like many others sympathised with your plight on the first thread, and I still sympathise now BUT...............
You need to stop asking the same things over and over again, and get on and do something about it. Every post on this thread has merits of one sort or another, and many people have offered good advice, when are you going to start following it?
The last thread got heated, because some of the ladies were unhappy with the morals involved, ok it's up to you whether you agree with that line or not but sorry mate, you either go out and play, and run the risk of divorce, (and some of the issues that Postie has just inferred in his post), or you go and sort it out. Relate could help, even on your own. It could be that if you open up to someone who is actually trained to understand these issues (unlike most of us lot who go by our own feelings and experiences), you will get a balanced view of what the problem is, and some guidance on what to do about it. Either way you must make that decision.
Good luck !
M
Casanova
Pleasureseaker,
I am in exactly the same boat. We both love each other dearly but when it gets round to sex shes non plussed. She has no intrest in sex except for every other week, she dosent like to give oral but loves to receive it. its always missonary the list goes on. the only time she gets horney is when she is a little tipsey. Ive tried evrything Humour, Meals, sexy situtaions my imagination has been in overdrive non of it worked. Ive even walked out on her before due to lack of sex.
I told her a few years ago that if it didnt improve I would get it else where. I have now been swinging for two years and she dosnt seem bothered. I think that some people are just like that.
I can empathise with you all the way to the core. I just dont think that we are matched in bed you may be the same
Maybe its time for some blunt talking, you cant look back in your premier years and say I wish I had done this ir that, you only have one life.
Joe
I am in exactly the same boat. We both love each other dearly but when it gets round to sex shes non plussed. She has no intrest in sex except for every other week, she dosent like to give oral but loves to receive it. its always missonary the list goes on. the only time she gets horney is when she is a little tipsey. Ive tried evrything Humour, Meals, sexy situtaions my imagination has been in overdrive non of it worked. Ive even walked out on her before due to lack of sex.
I told her a few years ago that if it didnt improve I would get it else where. I have now been swinging for two years and she dosnt seem bothered. I think that some people are just like that.
I can empathise with you all the way to the core. I just dont think that we are matched in bed you may be the same
Maybe its time for some blunt talking, you cant look back in your premier years and say I wish I had done this ir that, you only have one life.
Joe
Quote by Dune
Pleasureseaker,
I am in exactly the same boat. We both love each other dearly but when it gets round to sex shes non plussed. She has no intrest in sex except for every other week, she dosent like to give oral but loves to receive it. its always missonary the list goes on. the only time she gets horney is when she is a little tipsey. Ive tried evrything Humour, Meals, sexy situtaions my imagination has been in overdrive non of it worked. Ive even walked out on her before due to lack of sex.
I told her a few years ago that if it didnt improve I would get it else where. I have now been swinging for two years and she dosnt seem bothered. I think that some people are just like that.
I can empathise with you all the way to the core. I just dont think that we are matched in bed you may be the same
Maybe its time for some blunt talking, you cant look back in your premier years and say I wish I had done this ir that, you only have one life.
Joe
Joe/Dune? That all sounds eerily familiar, had to chuckle at the 'oral' part as well! How someone can take so much pleasure from receiving something and not want to reciprocate is very hard to understand.
The major difference I suppose is that Im not looking to swing, yes I have the fantasies but in all honesty, im not sure I could go through with it.
Point taken about the Blunt talking (and from others), sick of living on a tghtrope, she knows im not happy but not sure how unhappy, needs to be illustrated. Ive tried to avoid pressurising her because she is the one I want to make love to and dont want to lose her. Time for straight talking.
Casanova
Pleasureseaker,
I am a little forcefull it comes with my job and I know how to lead a conversation. It may be worth while either having a moderator to stop any real arguments or get you and your missus to sit down and write doen what you expect from your bedroom habits.
As for the swinging I proberly wouldnt have started except for the lack of bedroom favours but now I am hooked.
All I can say is you obvioulsy love her so be firm but remeber what is at stake and are you willing to lose that?
Best of luck
I am a little forcefull it comes with my job and I know how to lead a conversation. It may be worth while either having a moderator to stop any real arguments or get you and your missus to sit down and write doen what you expect from your bedroom habits.
As for the swinging I proberly wouldnt have started except for the lack of bedroom favours but now I am hooked.
All I can say is you obvioulsy love her so be firm but remeber what is at stake and are you willing to lose that?
Best of luck
Quote by pleasureseeker
She doea enjoy it all but its always me taking the initiative..............., if I dont nothing happens. All I want is more reciprocation, to be surprised, more spontaneity.
I don't think there is anything wrong with people just because they have low sex drive as you're implying your wife has. Also I believe it's possible for some people to be perfectly happy the way they are; just like your wife who really isn't bothered much about her sex life.
Sometimes there are other things in life (money, fame, status, work, hobby, food, sport, family life etc and a mixture of these put together) that are far more important than just sex to make a person happy. As someone pointed out in earlier post, your wife doesn't need fixing probably.
So could the problem lie with you, you who has to suffer in frustration for having a higher sex drive. Say if you were Golf crazy, you might have been less frustrated because golf would come first and make you less bothered about your wife's lack of interest in sex. From here I have nothing more to suggest other than as an impatient and blunt person, I find myself agreeing with how Dune has resolved his situation.
