Ok, at the risk of boring everyone with another thread....
What's the scariest sexual experience you've had?
This does not mean close pregnancy calls or nasty STD action, more a person that has just made you crap your pants. How did you react?
To give you an idea:
I once met a very attractive lawyer a good few years younger than myself on a boozy night out.. She was confident and very forward and I was very pleased to receive an invitation back to her place.
Within 5 minutes of getting into bed, she had grabbed my be the head, attempted to chuck me about like a rag doll and pushed me out. As I decked it, I whacked my arm on a dresser causing blood to pour.
I was looking forward to a bit of sympathy and maybe a bandage when said crazed lawyer grabbed my arm and proceeded to guzzle the blood up, vampire stylee.
When she finished, she headed to the bathroom witha crimson chin.
I grabbed my kit and made good my escape.
I'm sure there are some cracking tales from you lot so let the games begin.....
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Most frightening lovers
Sex God
Now that IS scary.... :shock:
I like the taste of blood but honestky I don't inflict injuries to get it!
I like the taste of blood but honestky I don't inflict injuries to get it!
Where to begin.... 
The couple who were trying to get me back to their flat on the promise of a threesome. They said it might be a foursome if their lodger had got back with some heroin to share round...
The woman who tried to make me give her dog a blow-job and take pictures so she could "turn on" her slave in amsterdam.
Waking up "the morning after" a sexual encouter to find the person holding a vial of holy water they'd got from the local church because "you are satan and want to steal my soul".
So many light-hearted stories... :lol:
The couple who were trying to get me back to their flat on the promise of a threesome. They said it might be a foursome if their lodger had got back with some heroin to share round...
The woman who tried to make me give her dog a blow-job and take pictures so she could "turn on" her slave in amsterdam.
Waking up "the morning after" a sexual encouter to find the person holding a vial of holy water they'd got from the local church because "you are satan and want to steal my soul".
So many light-hearted stories... :lol:
The lady who insisted on scratching with her nails to 'turn me on' which really did the opposite... I suppose I have lead a sheltered life, but when you 6ft 5, 21 stone, and do martial arts it takes a lot to worry you, and a nutter to try much against you...
Sure it worse for ladies out there.
Sure it worse for ladies out there.
Sex God
I had a couple of replies to an ad once, on separate occassions but both wanting pretty much the same thing. I was convinced they were genuine, but I simply couldn't meet them cos they were just tooooooooo weird for me (and that's saying something 
)
One wanted me to snog him then while I was doing that, kick him in the bollocks, take him to the ground and kick the shit out of him :shock:
The other wanted me to tie him naked to a chair and launch a kick to his head :shock:
OK, there's domination and then there's DOMINATION.... that's just one step too far for me :shock: :shock: :shock:
I'm on a role now, I've thought of something more gross.... :uhoh:
I got sick of guys saying they were "up for anything" so I thought of the grossest thing I could think of.... sooooooooooooooooooooooooo...............................
I asked every guy who replied with that innane line whether he would like to give my dog a blow job..... :shock:
I got two guys who said they would be happy to do it while I watched - YEUGH!!!!!!!! :shock:
Luckily, I didn't even have a dog at the time
:? :? :?
)One wanted me to snog him then while I was doing that, kick him in the bollocks, take him to the ground and kick the shit out of him :shock:
The other wanted me to tie him naked to a chair and launch a kick to his head :shock:
OK, there's domination and then there's DOMINATION.... that's just one step too far for me :shock: :shock: :shock:
I'm on a role now, I've thought of something more gross.... :uhoh:
I got sick of guys saying they were "up for anything" so I thought of the grossest thing I could think of.... sooooooooooooooooooooooooo...............................
I asked every guy who replied with that innane line whether he would like to give my dog a blow job..... :shock:
I got two guys who said they would be happy to do it while I watched - YEUGH!!!!!!!! :shock:
Luckily, I didn't even have a dog at the time
:? :? :? Quote by billybofh
Where to begin....
The woman who tried to make me give her dog a blow-job and take pictures so she could "turn on" her slave in amsterdam.
Quote by bluexxx
asked every guy who replied with that innane line whether he would like to give my dog a blow job.....
OMG :shock:
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: .In spain once when I was young(18) and cool(yeah right).I had left my g/f's apartment and was waiting to cach a train back to my resort . I was having a drink at the bar and this huge coloured guy came over and started talking to me. He seemed ok if a little overfriendly which made me feel mildly uncomfotrable, when my train came I thought that would be the end but he caught the train with me and got off at the same station . He had spent the whole journey telling me about a party he and his friends were having and the gorgeous girls that would be there and I'd love it. We soon came to an entrance and he bade me come up to the party , I declined politely at which his mood changed rapidly ..."you can't fucking let me down now after I've invested all this time in you" he said and grabbed my arm and tried to drag me into the premises. Fighting to break free I ripped my shirt and escaped running as fast and as far as I could from him...Scared the shit out of me ...I wonder what he had in store for me ??
((((niceguy)))))))))) Thats horrible and disturbing. Glad you got away.
I don`t have any, but I heard this one somewhere........
Aguy picked up a girl in Ibiza, slept with her, and the next morning he woke up, dying for a fart. He didn`t want to disturb her, by leaving the bed, so he prised his butt cheeks apart to let it out silently.......
and promptly shot a stream of diarrhea over the sheets, her clothes, and her handbag.......
Funnily enough he managed to sneak out without disturbing her after doing THAT.
Venusxxx
I don`t have any, but I heard this one somewhere........
Aguy picked up a girl in Ibiza, slept with her, and the next morning he woke up, dying for a fart. He didn`t want to disturb her, by leaving the bed, so he prised his butt cheeks apart to let it out silently.......
and promptly shot a stream of diarrhea over the sheets, her clothes, and her handbag.......
Funnily enough he managed to sneak out without disturbing her after doing THAT.
Venusxxx
as a raw seventeen year old and still a virgin(i know) i was chatted to by a much older woman(38)my age now :shock: in Dobsons in Newcastle. She asked me to go back to her house and explained she wanted to get pregnant as she and her husband were having trouble conceiving. She was so methodical and stressed she wouldnt see me again or want any maintenance.
Needless to say thet bird with two heads in the corner was less frightening. TBH i was just scared and wanted my first experience of sex to be romantic
The reality is i did it with a 23 year old minge 2 weees laterr :cry: I did last 4 strokes which is with my practice lately 1 more stroke id be able to achieve
Needless to say thet bird with two heads in the corner was less frightening. TBH i was just scared and wanted my first experience of sex to be romantic
The reality is i did it with a 23 year old minge 2 weees laterr :cry: I did last 4 strokes which is with my practice lately 1 more stroke id be able to achieve
Sex God
A few years ago I arranged (not via this site) to meet up with a couple for a threesome. They were first-timers, which I was not used to, but we got on well when we met in the pub, and they invited me back to their place.
We had a good evening there - the woman was more enthusiastic than the guy, and she and I got on fine. He was keen to watch us enthusiastically performing, also took a turn with her while i watched, but became quieter later on in the evening as things proceeded between me and the woman. After we were all exhausted, they offered me a bed in their spare room to sleep (it was about 2 a.m.), and I was just dropping off to sleep when the guy came in to the room by himself and said that he had changed his mind, would I please leave now, and as he walked out of the room he shouted "and be quick about it!". I realised instantly that there was absolutely no scope for any discussion, and got dressed and was out of the house in record time, motivated not only by his foul mood, but by knowing that they had a rottweiler shut away in another room. So be careful of first-timer couples who have not thought things through, I have since then.
Mike.
We had a good evening there - the woman was more enthusiastic than the guy, and she and I got on fine. He was keen to watch us enthusiastically performing, also took a turn with her while i watched, but became quieter later on in the evening as things proceeded between me and the woman. After we were all exhausted, they offered me a bed in their spare room to sleep (it was about 2 a.m.), and I was just dropping off to sleep when the guy came in to the room by himself and said that he had changed his mind, would I please leave now, and as he walked out of the room he shouted "and be quick about it!". I realised instantly that there was absolutely no scope for any discussion, and got dressed and was out of the house in record time, motivated not only by his foul mood, but by knowing that they had a rottweiler shut away in another room. So be careful of first-timer couples who have not thought things through, I have since then.
Mike.
Sex God
Yeah, Mike.... couples who haven't thought thigs through are very problematic indeed! I spent a very uncomfortable night once at a couple's house :shock: . We had met on a previous occassion before they invited me to their house for the night. To cut a long story short, she changed her mind, he wasn't happy, I spent the night in their spare room, they had a row in their bedroom I think, and the atmosphere was frosty in the morning....
NEVER AGAIN! :shock:
NEVER AGAIN! :shock:
After meeting a nice lady in Germany I went back to her apartment. As we walked in she threw her handbag on to the coffee table. A small automatic pistol fell out and clattered on to the floor. I looked at her and she said it was for self defence.
It was at this time that I discovered that adrenelin was brown, runny, smelly and goes down the back of your legs. I made my excuses and left at a high rate of knotts. I don't know how far I ran but I went like the clappers.
Dave_Notts
It was at this time that I discovered that adrenelin was brown, runny, smelly and goes down the back of your legs. I made my excuses and left at a high rate of knotts. I don't know how far I ran but I went like the clappers.
Dave_Notts
an very very very ex ex & I were experimenting with bondage.. I tied her up & we played around & a littlle further into the evening I playfully scraped a knife across her & my skin.. she enjoyed it all but insisted on having a go too.
she cut to the quick, give me an ugly scar on my chest that is still there.
but in the grand scheme of things that turned out to be nothing... I broke off with her and she spent a month stalking me before finally she glassed me.
i got lucky in that i've ended up with only a rakish scar on the cheek, no nerves severed, my eyes intact.. I tend to laugh it off.. but that was madness and I remain amazed that despite the warning signals (in hindsight) i never saw it coming :( :(
she cut to the quick, give me an ugly scar on my chest that is still there.
but in the grand scheme of things that turned out to be nothing... I broke off with her and she spent a month stalking me before finally she glassed me.
i got lucky in that i've ended up with only a rakish scar on the cheek, no nerves severed, my eyes intact.. I tend to laugh it off.. but that was madness and I remain amazed that despite the warning signals (in hindsight) i never saw it coming :( :(
Right these 2 stories are both 100% happened to me before i would describe
myself as a swinger.
I met a rather nice lady in a pub,we got on really well.I though im in here,so at the end of the night i asked if she wanted to be taken agreed to this and we proceeded to her coffee we started to get to know each other a little both ended up naked and have sex with each other,i then here the sound of a buzzer.I stop,"whats that noise?" "oh its ok,its only my husband,hes bed ridden with multiple sclerosis".
Again met a rather nice lady in a pub,escorted her home and had this time a fter a fumble we went upstairs to the to my astonishment i was introduced to her husband.,who was in bed.
Here endth the lesson on introductions to an MMF.
myself as a swinger.
I met a rather nice lady in a pub,we got on really well.I though im in here,so at the end of the night i asked if she wanted to be taken agreed to this and we proceeded to her coffee we started to get to know each other a little both ended up naked and have sex with each other,i then here the sound of a buzzer.I stop,"whats that noise?" "oh its ok,its only my husband,hes bed ridden with multiple sclerosis".
Again met a rather nice lady in a pub,escorted her home and had this time a fter a fumble we went upstairs to the to my astonishment i was introduced to her husband.,who was in bed.
Here endth the lesson on introductions to an MMF.
What a sheltered life i led compared to some of you.....Very scary....
Got a gross story for you, but not sure if to post...I know its true, but it dont involve us...
Mods, if ot too bad, delete it, NP....
We know this women who had problems down below, was always itchin etc, so goes to see the Dr. Dr examines her, and says shes got worms, no problem she thought, u can get anal worms etc, but the Dr says she is going to phone the police, when she asked why, she said your doing something illegal. What? By having worms? Dr says, only place they worms come from is dead people!!!!!!! So you must be having sex with a dead person!!!!
Turns out her hubby worked at a funeral palour, and had been havin sex with dead women, and passed on the worms to the wife....
He has been prosicuted for it, and was in the local paper, but i think thats the worst ive heard...
Now go back to eating yer dinner :twisted:
Berto
Got a gross story for you, but not sure if to post...I know its true, but it dont involve us...
Mods, if ot too bad, delete it, NP....
We know this women who had problems down below, was always itchin etc, so goes to see the Dr. Dr examines her, and says shes got worms, no problem she thought, u can get anal worms etc, but the Dr says she is going to phone the police, when she asked why, she said your doing something illegal. What? By having worms? Dr says, only place they worms come from is dead people!!!!!!! So you must be having sex with a dead person!!!!
Turns out her hubby worked at a funeral palour, and had been havin sex with dead women, and passed on the worms to the wife....
He has been prosicuted for it, and was in the local paper, but i think thats the worst ive heard...
Now go back to eating yer dinner :twisted:
Berto
Sex God
Tongue wrote:
Heigh-ho, good old is pretty reliable as usual:
Mike.
Ive heard this before,i think its a bit of an urban myth
Heigh-ho, good old is pretty reliable as usual:
Mike.
OMG! I cant believe Im enjoying reading these storyies. Mines isnt even interestign compared to any of these. . I'll tell you anyways.
I met a guy at a friends party and after a few times of going out I took him back to my place and we got down to the business. He went donw on me and shouted "OH yeah, piss on me baby"
Its pretty minor but I thought that was a major turn off. I'm up for just about anything but peeing on a guys face is a bit eurgh!!!
. I'll tell you anyways.I met a guy at a friends party and after a few times of going out I took him back to my place and we got down to the business. He went donw on me and shouted "OH yeah, piss on me baby"
Its pretty minor but I thought that was a major turn off. I'm up for just about anything but peeing on a guys face is a bit eurgh!!!
Sex God
I have realised reading these that actually, I have lived a very sheltered swinging life.
Thank feck! :shock:
Thank feck! :shock:
Sex God
Quote by noladreams30
I have realised reading these that actually, I have lived a very sheltered swinging life.
Thank feck! :shock:
:shock: I'm giving up sex!! :shock:
OK - so I'm joking.
.
