Hi there
Going to just rant a little here - those that think they may have some sound advice are welcome to post. The rest can laugh, hum along etc
Bascially my sex life with my gf is non existant. I am 28 , she 26 and we should be at it like bunnies or at the very least bunnies that bump into each other every so often and say hey why don't we have sex this week.
I can honestly say that in the last 2 years we have maybe done it 6 times :-( The bi tendicies that bubble under for me I don't know come from being natural feelings or ones inspired by our complete lack of sex.
in every other capacity of our relationship life is great. I lov ehe rto bits, her personality, her morals etc. She is fantastic in that respect - but when it comes to sex or even getting intimate, she hates me licking her out, trying to finger her. As a result, she is always dry. I think the lame lies with both parties but I am torn as what to do. Only so many times I can try to pre=empt sex and get knocked back....
Would love to hear from anyone who has been there and done it - but judging by the posts this evening, you are all getting plenty - lol
Enjoy the weekend
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My dilemma
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Appreciated - i am not the cheating kind in that i don't think i could physically cheat on someone whilst still going out with the. have had plenty of GFs and never done that so it would appear to be not my style if that makes sense.
We occassionally talk about gay people etc and she always acts disgusted. Rock and a Hard Place.
Thanks all the same - I think talking is the answer, but talk can be dangerous.
We occassionally talk about gay people etc and she always acts disgusted. Rock and a Hard Place.
Thanks all the same - I think talking is the answer, but talk can be dangerous.
When you got together i bet sex was really hot. Now although you love and respect each other, your or her feelings about sex have changed its become a case of the same old same old. I Loved scampi but i once lived in a hotel and had it cooked everyday for a month i DONT GO NEAR IT ANYMORE. Variaty is the spice of life, A woman likes to be kissed stroked and touched everywhere without feeling she then has to have sex. My advise to you is to get yourself a copy of the Kama Sutra by Anne Hooper and try 3 day program. I tried it with a x x girlfriend and we had the best sex ever, Even better than when we first had sex. We still split up though. Some people are just not sexually compatable 
Sex God
Does it always end up with you wanting sex if you go to bed for a kiss, cuddle, stroke, massage or just to hold each other?
From experience, after having children all i wanted was to be loved without the sexual stuff. Almost every time we did get really close he always ended up trying it on. I ended up pushing him away. I had it out with him and told him how i felt. Things changed from then, we could kiss and cuddle and it stopped there. Eventually i would take it a step further when i was ready and we never looked back.
Communicate and you might not feel that knock back.
G x
From experience, after having children all i wanted was to be loved without the sexual stuff. Almost every time we did get really close he always ended up trying it on. I ended up pushing him away. I had it out with him and told him how i felt. Things changed from then, we could kiss and cuddle and it stopped there. Eventually i would take it a step further when i was ready and we never looked back.
Communicate and you might not feel that knock back.
G x
Orgasminator
Quote by Fools-Gold
I can honestly say that in the last 2 years we have maybe done it 6 times :-( in every other capacity of our relationship life is great. I lov ehe rto bits, her personality, her morals etc. She is fantastic in that respect - but when it comes to sex or even getting intimate, she hates me licking her out, trying to finger her. As a result, she is always dry. I think the lame lies with both parties but I am torn as what to do. Only so many times I can try to pre=empt sex and get knocked back...
This is such a difficult situation for both of you and I can only speak from a girlfriend/wife POV. I've been in two long term relationships where sex was very unsatisfactory. I was unable to achieve orgasm with either partner and was constantly left unsatisfied which is not a great motivation to have sex after a couple of years in that situation. No blame to either party just that I've subsequently learned that our main problem was an inability or unwillingness to discuss the problem...
If we had been able to discuss the probs then we could have faced the issues and either cured the situation or split up... and there is the lynch pin. Once you have opened the Pandora's box you cannot close it and life changing events happen... hence the reluctance to stop sweeping it under the carpet and possibly ruin what the other aspects of a good relationship.
If you have an OK life together and share the same outlook with a great friendship then that is a hard thing to break up but it took me to my mid-forties to find that you can have the above plus the incredible buzz that a healthy sex life brings to a relationship... it is the best and worth investing time to seek it out.
I'm now extremely lucky to be in a marriage where every aspect of love, humour and lust is satisfied with great regularity :twisted: and this was achieved by GT being very up front about his feelings for me, his ability to vocalise his aims for us. The fact that he so obviously loves me and desires me as much as I do him was a great encouragement for me to open up and find the real me... to which I owe him such a big debt of gratitude that I will spend the rest of my life trying to repay him.
You both are so young and you will be in your mid forties before you know it... it happens believe me! Find the courage to talk about your issues... go to a sex counsellor if need be. If your lady isn't prepared to face up to the issues that are so worrying you then do your self a favour... look your self in the eyes through a mirror and ask yourself if she is the 'love of your life'... the one that you would die for...
If she is then you are really stuck with a problem... if she isn't the love of your life then take a courage pill and get the heck out of that relationship and find the one that will fulfill you... If you don't then you are opting for second best and that will further corrode your relationship and it will break up when one of you will discover 'the one' eventually. I do realise that it is a selfish choice BUT... from what I understand you are not married and have no children... You owe it to yourself to find true happiness!
Sincere best wishes,
Wibbly
xx
Talk and you've a chance she'll talk with you. Wallow in it and she may remain blissfully unaware, but you will be tearing yourself apart.
If you want to keep your relationship then you are probably going to have to move very far in her direction (over a long time) before she begins to move in yours. And don't jump on the first opportunity presented and make the mistake of thinking "ah, everything's alright again - weh-hay!" 'cause it'll probably take as much time as you've already spent to get to the next time.
However, if you've no other reason to be with her then don't stay together on the hope that it'll get better. Hope & blind faith has landed many a good person in the wrong place with no chance of going back. After all, you can't relive the joys of even this morning let alone last year.
So talk it over, you've nothing to lose and everything to gain. If the relationship fails because of it you will have leanrnt to be more honest with yourself and others.
Good luck, and let us know how it turns out?
If you want to keep your relationship then you are probably going to have to move very far in her direction (over a long time) before she begins to move in yours. And don't jump on the first opportunity presented and make the mistake of thinking "ah, everything's alright again - weh-hay!" 'cause it'll probably take as much time as you've already spent to get to the next time.
However, if you've no other reason to be with her then don't stay together on the hope that it'll get better. Hope & blind faith has landed many a good person in the wrong place with no chance of going back. After all, you can't relive the joys of even this morning let alone last year.
So talk it over, you've nothing to lose and everything to gain. If the relationship fails because of it you will have leanrnt to be more honest with yourself and others.
Good luck, and let us know how it turns out?
my 2p
I HATE it when the first bit of me to be touched is my tits/arse/fanny. Non responsive and kinda broken. Afraid the woman machine appears not to work like the man machine. There has to be some progression.
Thankfully for me, I get aroused quite quickly - and often just by my own mental processes, so am hot to trot at the drop of a hat. However this is something that a lot of women have never 'taught' themselves and most actually have no idea about how or why they get aroused.
No, before all the women in here scream at me.. I don't mean us lot, who are not afraid of sex and sexuality, but the vast majority (of vanillas) appear to be lacking in any kind of sexual self awareness.
I HATE it when the first bit of me to be touched is my tits/arse/fanny. Non responsive and kinda broken. Afraid the woman machine appears not to work like the man machine. There has to be some progression.
Thankfully for me, I get aroused quite quickly - and often just by my own mental processes, so am hot to trot at the drop of a hat. However this is something that a lot of women have never 'taught' themselves and most actually have no idea about how or why they get aroused.
No, before all the women in here scream at me.. I don't mean us lot, who are not afraid of sex and sexuality, but the vast majority (of vanillas) appear to be lacking in any kind of sexual self awareness.
Orgasminator
Quote by Vix
No, before all the women in here scream at me.. I don't mean us lot, who are not afraid of sex and sexuality, but the vast majority (of vanillas) appear to be lacking in any kind of sexual self awareness.
I'm glad a girl said it
perhaps we should start a campaign to educate them 
Quote by lucyuktv2
No, before all the women in here scream at me.. I don't mean us lot, who are not afraid of sex and sexuality, but the vast majority (of vanillas) appear to be lacking in any kind of sexual self awareness.
I'm glad a girl said it
perhaps we should start a campaign to educate them Sounds like a job for....
Super Rainbows and her band of merry women!
Orgasminator
Quote by Vix
No, before all the women in here scream at me.. I don't mean us lot, who are not afraid of sex and sexuality, but the vast majority (of vanillas) appear to be lacking in any kind of sexual self awareness.
You are quite right Vix... from what I can gather future generations of wimmins will not suffer the same. I can see from my stepdaughter that she is already on the way to discovery and knowing what she wants... and good for her!
From what she has told me she has experienced more than I have done by the same age... and I'm so glad she has no hangups... but she also knows how to be safe which is important...
