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My most embarrassing moment .............ever!!
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Sexpert
Thanks guys ... you have cheered me up no end ... fantastic thread ... dont think I've got anything that can top what's been posted before ... but to everyone else .. keep em coming 
My most embarrassing moment came when I worked at the National Agricultural Centre. It was the first day of the Royal Show, and all of us staff were trying to carry out our usual duties despite the thousands of people gawking at us and getting under our feet.
I was working on the Bull Unit at the time, and our prize specimen was a White Park bull called Royal Sultan III. He'd been hand reared, so despite being the size of a house was very calm and well behaved around poeple. He also loved me to bits, so when I went in to check his feed and water he followed me over to the corner of the pen for a scratch behind the ears. Unfortunately, he stood on my foot, and a ton on bull on top of your wellies is no laughing matter. I tried pushing him away several times, but he was having none of it. My foot was killing me, and I ended up smacking him about the head, shouting 'You bastard fucking sack of fucking spunk, get off my fucking foot'
There was a polite cough from the direction of the door, and I looked over to see Princess Anne and various other dignitaries staring at me.
I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me, although Princess Anne did give me a little smile as they walked away.
I was working on the Bull Unit at the time, and our prize specimen was a White Park bull called Royal Sultan III. He'd been hand reared, so despite being the size of a house was very calm and well behaved around poeple. He also loved me to bits, so when I went in to check his feed and water he followed me over to the corner of the pen for a scratch behind the ears. Unfortunately, he stood on my foot, and a ton on bull on top of your wellies is no laughing matter. I tried pushing him away several times, but he was having none of it. My foot was killing me, and I ended up smacking him about the head, shouting 'You bastard fucking sack of fucking spunk, get off my fucking foot'
There was a polite cough from the direction of the door, and I looked over to see Princess Anne and various other dignitaries staring at me.
I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me, although Princess Anne did give me a little smile as they walked away.
Sex God
Quote by MikeC
Well....my list of embarsing moments can fill a book....
ummm most of mine are not sexual....mainly just me being stupid....
1) skateboarding down a slide...
2) running in to 5 a side football cross bar
3) running in to a steel fence in the dark..
4) smashing my front room windows (big bay type things)
5) pulling my neck getting out of bed - trip to hospital....
6) ummmm smashing bumper on car whilst doggin.
MikeC
rofl these sound like minor things mike c for u
questions like
who takes my sh pics
your underwear collection
to name but 2
Was taking the first opportunity in a couple of years to have a look at the Cafe section of the forums as opposed to the ads and Lets meet up section (maybe that is why I haven't had much luck over the years!!!lol) and thought I would post this...
I was living in Mansfield at the time, and had been invited to a mates birthday booze up in a local pub. The young lady I was seeing wasn't keen to come along, so I was informed that she would leave the door 'on the latch' so I could let myself into her house when I was done, as long as I stayed in the spare room as her Dad was a bit 'over protective'.
A few halves of shandy later, I left the pub at kick out of thepub blind drunk and staggered to her street, found her house and front door and tried to get inside the house being as quiet as I could.
I did notice the door was sticking a bit, but with a bit of a shoulder, managed to open it, quietly climbed upstairs and got into bed in the spare room.
Woke up the following day and to be honest, I had felt better. Thought I would do a spot of creeping and make everyone a cup of tea in bed in case I had made any noise coming into the house,, and woken anyone up.
I did think there was something strange about the house, the carpet looked different and when I got into the kitchen, it would seem her mum and dad had bought a new kettle and mugs.
Brewed up, went back upstairs, knocked on her parents door, only to realise to my horror.......
It was the wrong house - the people in bed weren't her mum and dad..
Fortunately, I didn't wake anyone up and broke the 100m record for sprinting down the stairs and out of the door. Although whoevers house it was must have wondered why there were 4 mugs of tea in their bedroom.
Beat that lol!
I was living in Mansfield at the time, and had been invited to a mates birthday booze up in a local pub. The young lady I was seeing wasn't keen to come along, so I was informed that she would leave the door 'on the latch' so I could let myself into her house when I was done, as long as I stayed in the spare room as her Dad was a bit 'over protective'.
A few halves of shandy later, I left the pub at kick out of thepub blind drunk and staggered to her street, found her house and front door and tried to get inside the house being as quiet as I could.
I did notice the door was sticking a bit, but with a bit of a shoulder, managed to open it, quietly climbed upstairs and got into bed in the spare room.
Woke up the following day and to be honest, I had felt better. Thought I would do a spot of creeping and make everyone a cup of tea in bed in case I had made any noise coming into the house,, and woken anyone up.
I did think there was something strange about the house, the carpet looked different and when I got into the kitchen, it would seem her mum and dad had bought a new kettle and mugs.
Brewed up, went back upstairs, knocked on her parents door, only to realise to my horror.......
It was the wrong house - the people in bed weren't her mum and dad..
Fortunately, I didn't wake anyone up and broke the 100m record for sprinting down the stairs and out of the door. Although whoevers house it was must have wondered why there were 4 mugs of tea in their bedroom.
Beat that lol!
I was on my first ship as a cadet in the merchant navy in the late 70's and it was customary for the Captain and Chief Steward to do an accommodation inspection once a week.
I had been given the morning off to study in my cabin but as a 16 yr old my hormones (and the pile of magazines under the bunk ) took over.
I had always enjoyed seeing the cum spurt out as I looked in the mirror over the sink so there I was, keks and shorts round my ankles, red in the face , eyes bulging, hand moving like a fiddlers elbow on speed, as they knocked on the door and walked in... I had forgotten to lock it...
Captain: 'Good morning Ian'
Me: 'Hi' - in strangulated voice
Captain:' Just remember to wipe the mirror clean when you are finished please ... carry on'
He turned and walked out past a chief steward who looked as if he was giving birth on all fours on the floor.......
I didn't manage to finish for some reason......
Ian xx
I had been given the morning off to study in my cabin but as a 16 yr old my hormones (and the pile of magazines under the bunk ) took over.
I had always enjoyed seeing the cum spurt out as I looked in the mirror over the sink so there I was, keks and shorts round my ankles, red in the face , eyes bulging, hand moving like a fiddlers elbow on speed, as they knocked on the door and walked in... I had forgotten to lock it...
Captain: 'Good morning Ian'
Me: 'Hi' - in strangulated voice
Captain:' Just remember to wipe the mirror clean when you are finished please ... carry on'
He turned and walked out past a chief steward who looked as if he was giving birth on all fours on the floor.......
I didn't manage to finish for some reason......
Ian xx
Now this is a funny thread...lol here's my story of an embarrasing time.
I was 18 years old and as usual on a Friday night I was out with the bike and the crew on the pop. But unlike other Friday nights… I wasn’t drinkin cos my bird was due in at Guildford station at 7am on Saturday. ( we called em birds back then too ) so after several attempts to bribe me into having a few bevies… I caved in and got completely blathered.. at some point later some fool introduced some hallucinogenic mushrooms… which I of course had my fair share of.. By the time I decided to bugger off home I couldn’t even find the bike.. ( a ruddy great Norton Commando 850) but eventually I managed to crawl to it and mount the thing. So P*ssed and stoned I rode away to the _ now I look back_( I didn’t at the time cos I’d have crashed)… stupid roars of “yeah man†and “Go for itâ€. I somehow managed to find what I believed was home and knocked on the door ( Actually I believe I hammered it down) and was let in. I’d really found a house in a village that wasn’t mine in either case, and was owned by a sweet lil old lady.. I don’t remember much about the trip… er either one of em… anyway… I awoke with a pounding head and on the sofa with a blanket.. much as Sgt Bilko. Also I was having morning glory problems (not the mushroom type) I didn’t know if I needed a shag or a P*ss. So I was laying there playing five knuckle shuffle with my eyes closed and half… nope more than half asleep.. Again as Sgt Bilko was. It was here that memory kicked in.. and I remembered she was coming in at 7. A half eyed glance at my watch told me it was gone 11 am.. Sh*t,,,Sh*t sh*t!!!! I mumbled.. to which I got this reply. “ Don’t worry.. I’m hereâ€. Underneath the covers it was hard to say who was speaking, but I assumed it was my Bird and she’d got a cab or a bus. So I drifted back into semi-concious playing. Suddenly my hand was batted away by another, and I – thinking it was she who should touch- let it happen. Soon she was under the covers and performing a blow job… (which is a great way to wake up) J however about halfway through my brain told me summat wasn’t right and my deduction techniques soon figured it out…. My bird DON’T do blow jobs.. Startled… and a little pleased that she had finally decided to have a go I ripped back the blanket…. And there was this lil old lady goin hell for leather at my dick like she hadn’t been fed for a year.. now..being a gentleman I would have let her finish except.. in her free hand she held tightly… her false teeth!!!! First time I ever suffered with instant wilt…. With all the best will in the world I couldn’t tell my bird the truth about that!!! And she was mighty p*ssed at me for a day or so…
Paul.
I was 18 years old and as usual on a Friday night I was out with the bike and the crew on the pop. But unlike other Friday nights… I wasn’t drinkin cos my bird was due in at Guildford station at 7am on Saturday. ( we called em birds back then too ) so after several attempts to bribe me into having a few bevies… I caved in and got completely blathered.. at some point later some fool introduced some hallucinogenic mushrooms… which I of course had my fair share of.. By the time I decided to bugger off home I couldn’t even find the bike.. ( a ruddy great Norton Commando 850) but eventually I managed to crawl to it and mount the thing. So P*ssed and stoned I rode away to the _ now I look back_( I didn’t at the time cos I’d have crashed)… stupid roars of “yeah man†and “Go for itâ€. I somehow managed to find what I believed was home and knocked on the door ( Actually I believe I hammered it down) and was let in. I’d really found a house in a village that wasn’t mine in either case, and was owned by a sweet lil old lady.. I don’t remember much about the trip… er either one of em… anyway… I awoke with a pounding head and on the sofa with a blanket.. much as Sgt Bilko. Also I was having morning glory problems (not the mushroom type) I didn’t know if I needed a shag or a P*ss. So I was laying there playing five knuckle shuffle with my eyes closed and half… nope more than half asleep.. Again as Sgt Bilko was. It was here that memory kicked in.. and I remembered she was coming in at 7. A half eyed glance at my watch told me it was gone 11 am.. Sh*t,,,Sh*t sh*t!!!! I mumbled.. to which I got this reply. “ Don’t worry.. I’m hereâ€. Underneath the covers it was hard to say who was speaking, but I assumed it was my Bird and she’d got a cab or a bus. So I drifted back into semi-concious playing. Suddenly my hand was batted away by another, and I – thinking it was she who should touch- let it happen. Soon she was under the covers and performing a blow job… (which is a great way to wake up) J however about halfway through my brain told me summat wasn’t right and my deduction techniques soon figured it out…. My bird DON’T do blow jobs.. Startled… and a little pleased that she had finally decided to have a go I ripped back the blanket…. And there was this lil old lady goin hell for leather at my dick like she hadn’t been fed for a year.. now..being a gentleman I would have let her finish except.. in her free hand she held tightly… her false teeth!!!! First time I ever suffered with instant wilt…. With all the best will in the world I couldn’t tell my bird the truth about that!!! And she was mighty p*ssed at me for a day or so…
Paul.
Warming the Bed
I was about 16 and took a new g/f to the pictures midweek she seemed to like my fumbling under her jumper but pushed my hand away every time i tried put it under her skirt,
We snogged all the way through the film. I walked her home and after more snogging on her doorstep and more groping from me she invited me round for sunday tea explaining that her parents would be going out to chuch after and we would be alone in the house.
I walked home half hard and happy!
The following saturday I went and bought a new shirt and trousers to look my best and decided to have a haircut and hoping against hope and blushing a very bright red asked the barber for "A packet of three"
This caused the two barbers to make all the usual remarks, and me smiling and saying i had a new girlfriend who was a right goer, I'm seeing her tomorrow and I'm on a promise,. a right "Jack the lad" me!!
So the next day i go to see the g/f all spruced up in my new flares and jacket smelling of "Brut" with the condoms in my back pocket.
I raing the doorbell and she answers looking wonderful, gives me a big wet kiss and leads me into the living room by the hand, opens the door and says "Mum, dad this is Luke" her mum smiles and says hello and her dad lowers his newpaper and looks up at me,
And i stand there with my hand out to be shaken looking at the barber!!!!
We snogged all the way through the film. I walked her home and after more snogging on her doorstep and more groping from me she invited me round for sunday tea explaining that her parents would be going out to chuch after and we would be alone in the house.
I walked home half hard and happy!
The following saturday I went and bought a new shirt and trousers to look my best and decided to have a haircut and hoping against hope and blushing a very bright red asked the barber for "A packet of three"
This caused the two barbers to make all the usual remarks, and me smiling and saying i had a new girlfriend who was a right goer, I'm seeing her tomorrow and I'm on a promise,. a right "Jack the lad" me!!
So the next day i go to see the g/f all spruced up in my new flares and jacket smelling of "Brut" with the condoms in my back pocket.
I raing the doorbell and she answers looking wonderful, gives me a big wet kiss and leads me into the living room by the hand, opens the door and says "Mum, dad this is Luke" her mum smiles and says hello and her dad lowers his newpaper and looks up at me,
And i stand there with my hand out to be shaken looking at the barber!!!!
:roll: ok... just thought of 1 moment.
I was staying the eve round a guys house (sharing his bed)... and while i was asleep... had my one and only ever wet dream... and what a dream it was....
i was getting f****ed real hard by some guy over a bar.... mmmmm
anyway
when i woke up.. my m8 had great fun in telling me about the great dream i had that night.... and how i kept him awake lol
oops! 
ops:
I was staying the eve round a guys house (sharing his bed)... and while i was asleep... had my one and only ever wet dream... and what a dream it was....
i was getting f****ed real hard by some guy over a bar.... mmmmm
anyway
when i woke up.. my m8 had great fun in telling me about the great dream i had that night.... and how i kept him awake lol
oops!
ops: Back in the 70s i worked for a major high street chemist chain as part of a team thet opened new branches. Our job finished the day it opened & on to the next. There was always a party to celebrate the event & this time was no exception. I'd been getting very freindly with this married lady during the previous 2 months of the job & when she invited me to the party & told me her husband was on night shift & jumped at the chance to go. As the night progressed things got very heated, especially in the slow dances. So when she suggested we find somewhere more private I couldn't belive my luck. The place we were in was an old pub with disco in the basement, After a little searching we found a toilet on the top floor that was only used for functions. Fortunatly no functions were on except ours in the basement, so we quickly got down to some frenzied fumbeling. She was wearing a full length black velvet dress (i did say it was the 70s) in our haste to get at it i just pushed her dress up around her waist & with no knickers got access to the goddies straight away. After about 10 mins of frantic shagging i was about to cum & let her know. As i wasn't wearing a condom (again the 70s, but no excuse as i worked for a chemist) she said not to cum in her. Being really excited & also very young & inexperienced I miss timed my withdrawl & came all over her velvet dress. As you can imagine it was a mess, so after several rolls of damp toilet paper we thought it was ok, being dark the damp patch wouldn't really show & rejoined the party. Now anyone who watches CSI knows cum glows under ultraviolet light & remember this was & 70s disco, so guess what happened. Yep the front of her dress was a like an explosion in a cum factory. The worst part was everyone knew i'd escorted her there & her husband was on nights, fortunatly not everyone realised what was glowing
Not my story-thank god- but a mate once woke to the wonderful sensation of a tongue going at it like the clappers on his bell-end. He enjoyed it for as long as he could, but having beenon the elctric soup the night before and having avery full bladder he couldn't take any more. So he said "Not now, LIsa." and reached down to push his girlfriend's head away. Only to grab a hold of their kitten.
Ihave posted this story before but think it desrves another airing
Told to me by a mate When videos first came out "mucky" vids did the rounds at work and finally he got his sweaty hands on one,he was living at home and so had to sieze his opportunity to watch it when his parents said they were just nipping down the pub
Parents safely out the door,upstairs vid out from its hiding place back down to the sitting room ,settle back to watch Well he then decides he's got to " relieve the tension"
He was apparently quite proud of the fact the managed to time his cumming with the end of the film now wipe up vid back upstairs mission acomplished
When he turned to get the box off the coffe table there was a cold cup of tea his mum had brought in for him when they came back from the pub having only stopped for a quick one
Told to me by a mate When videos first came out "mucky" vids did the rounds at work and finally he got his sweaty hands on one,he was living at home and so had to sieze his opportunity to watch it when his parents said they were just nipping down the pub
Parents safely out the door,upstairs vid out from its hiding place back down to the sitting room ,settle back to watch Well he then decides he's got to " relieve the tension"
He was apparently quite proud of the fact the managed to time his cumming with the end of the film now wipe up vid back upstairs mission acomplished
When he turned to get the box off the coffe table there was a cold cup of tea his mum had brought in for him when they came back from the pub having only stopped for a quick one
Sex God
I was just down in the Swinging Heaven cellars, looking through some boxes which were due to be thrown out (bin men due tomorrow) when I found this classic,
Im sure Sarge will enjoy this :P
Im sure Sarge will enjoy this :P
Sex God
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
I was just down in the Swinging Heaven cellars, looking through some boxes which were due to be thrown out (bin men due tomorrow) when I found this classic,
Im sure Sarge will enjoy this :P
okay ms NWC.... since you are up for embarrasing stories... do you want to tell everyone what you managed to do to me the first time we met......
:wink: :wink: sean xxxxxxxxxx
don't worry folks it is clean... but maybe not for the squimish!!!
Sex God
Quote by fabio grooverider
I was just down in the Swinging Heaven cellars, looking through some boxes which were due to be thrown out (bin men due tomorrow) when I found this classic,
Im sure Sarge will enjoy this :P
okay ms NWC.... since you are up for embarrasing stories... do you want to tell everyone what you managed to do to me the first time we met......
:wink: :wink: sean xxxxxxxxxx
don't worry folks it is clean... but maybe not for the squimish!!!
ops: :oops: :oops: :oops: did it hurt?????
:oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops
Sex God
everyone is probably confused......
mrs NWC managed to split the top of my head open....
that is okay.. i fainted in the hospital... kidding......
mrs NWC managed to split the top of my head open....
that is okay.. i fainted in the hospital... kidding......
Sex God
:shock: :shock: :shock:
note to self:
Stay away from the north, they're all mad :shock: :shock: :shock:
note to self:
Stay away from the north, they're all mad :shock: :shock: :shock:
Quote by gord
Back in 1978, I was in the Merchant Navy and flew out to join a ship in Aqaba, Jordan. While waiting its delayed arrival I stayed in a hotel for about two weeks. I was totally on my own, knowing no-one there and virtually nothing about the place. There was not a great deal to do to pass the time other than wander around town, laze about
on the beach and swim in the sea.
I had visited a few souvenir type shops and noticed sharks teeth and jaws for sale. Remember this was ‘78, the film Jaws had only recently been released and for its time it was a very scary movie. I was about 18, green as grass, but couldn’t or
wouldn’t admit it - teenage bravado and all that.
Anyway, one afternoon, bored and killing time, I was swimming in the crystal clear waters looking down onto the coral and its wildlife. Directly underneath me I saw a big shape, gliding among the outcrops. I didn’t know what it was, wasn’t too worried at that stage, but thought it advisable to change direction. I set off swimming perpendicular to my previous course, but glancing down I saw the beast immediately do the same. A vision of that head falling out of the bottom of the boat in the film came to me, ringing the first notes of alarm. Again I set off at a different angle, heading back to the beach, and swimming faster. The beast again mirrored my action, keeping pace, and the panic began to set in. I zigzagged back and forth trying to swim as fast as I could, but the
thing effortlessly stalked me and as I moved into shallower water and it hugged the bottom we moved closer together. By this time I had abandoned any effort to stay looking cool and was practically running across the surface of the water like a pond-skater. I didn’t want to put my legs down onto the bottom because that is where IT was and I was sure it would just snap one off for a snack I was s***ting myself, desperately trying to empty my lungs of the gallons of seawater I had swallowed and fill them with air to scream for help.
Looking up as I staggered exhausted from the water I could see rows of concerned faces staring at me and it was just at that point that I realised that the monster was in fact...... my shadow. Try explaining that when you can’t speak the language.
Gordon.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: i am sorry i find this so funny but same sort of thing happened too me ......when i was @ 9 yrs old ....only thing is it was quite possible a small shark in my case ....well, my friends and the fisher men wife's thought so .......i dare not look but it was a long time before i would go swimming in the sea and i even thought about it when i was in a swimming pool ....i always have too get out of the water when i think of it sea or swimming pool ...fast
i just hope i am ok on my holiday in the sun coz i am going diving
Sex God
I have two…. Strangely both stories relate to my manly bits and nurses….
Embarrassing Moment One
It was the dreaded day of my vasectomy which I was to have done under a general anaesthetic… the anaesthetist (who I knew) had prescribed a rather potent pre-med as he knew I was a tad nervous….
Anyway I was on this trolley, in a somewhat hallucinate state, being rolled down this very busy hospital corridor and for some strange reason decided to shout to all the nurses “Last chance girls – Come and get itâ€â€¦.
I awoke from the anaesthetic in the recovery position, doing a Technicolor laugh, with this 25 stone nurse (sticking this 6†needle in my buttock (filled with some drug to stop me throwing up) whispering in my ear “Not so cocky now lad, are youâ€
A year or so later, I went out with a nurse, and who worked in the same Hospital… anyway, as you do when your in love, I shared what I thought was my mildly embarrassing moment with her…. She had already heard this story from a porter, who had heard it from a nurse, who had heard it from…. ops: :oops:
Embarrassing Moment Two
For reasons that totally elude me now, when I was 21 - I did a parachute jump for Charity (yes they had planes then)… On the same day a group of nurses were also doing this Charity jump.
At the Jump centre they teach you all the stuff about rolling, bending your knees etc..etc… and eventually off you go, six at a time in a plane with no door and proceed to Jump out on a “static Line at 2000 ft. I was one of two blokes in this plane with 4 nurses plus pilot and the Jump master… I don’t know whether it was the nerves or the bravado or the trying to chat up the nurses, but for some reason I didn’t hear the Jump master say “Check your straps are tightâ€
There were about another 20 or so nurses on the ground watching our turn so to speak, anyway, at 2000 ft the jump master got the nurses to jump first, then it was my turn…. “One thousand and one†- “One thousand and two†- “One thousand and three†– “Check parachute has opened†– Scream – Scream – Swear – Scream – all the way to the ground… not from fright, from getting one of my balls trapped under the harness strap and being squashed without mercy all the way down.
And the nurses…. They insisted they examine me and write it in the accident book at the Parachute Centre. :oops: :oops: :oops:
Embarrassing Moment One
It was the dreaded day of my vasectomy which I was to have done under a general anaesthetic… the anaesthetist (who I knew) had prescribed a rather potent pre-med as he knew I was a tad nervous….
Anyway I was on this trolley, in a somewhat hallucinate state, being rolled down this very busy hospital corridor and for some strange reason decided to shout to all the nurses “Last chance girls – Come and get itâ€â€¦.
I awoke from the anaesthetic in the recovery position, doing a Technicolor laugh, with this 25 stone nurse (sticking this 6†needle in my buttock (filled with some drug to stop me throwing up) whispering in my ear “Not so cocky now lad, are youâ€
A year or so later, I went out with a nurse, and who worked in the same Hospital… anyway, as you do when your in love, I shared what I thought was my mildly embarrassing moment with her…. She had already heard this story from a porter, who had heard it from a nurse, who had heard it from….
ops: :oops: Embarrassing Moment Two
For reasons that totally elude me now, when I was 21 - I did a parachute jump for Charity (yes they had planes then)… On the same day a group of nurses were also doing this Charity jump.
At the Jump centre they teach you all the stuff about rolling, bending your knees etc..etc… and eventually off you go, six at a time in a plane with no door and proceed to Jump out on a “static Line at 2000 ft. I was one of two blokes in this plane with 4 nurses plus pilot and the Jump master… I don’t know whether it was the nerves or the bravado or the trying to chat up the nurses, but for some reason I didn’t hear the Jump master say “Check your straps are tightâ€
There were about another 20 or so nurses on the ground watching our turn so to speak, anyway, at 2000 ft the jump master got the nurses to jump first, then it was my turn…. “One thousand and one†- “One thousand and two†- “One thousand and three†– “Check parachute has opened†– Scream – Scream – Swear – Scream – all the way to the ground… not from fright, from getting one of my balls trapped under the harness strap and being squashed without mercy all the way down.
And the nurses…. They insisted they examine me and write it in the accident book at the Parachute Centre. :oops: :oops: :oops:
Quote by Sgt Bilko
When I was a young Private Bilko I was sort of seeing a girl that lived up the road from me. I was 18 and she was 16. Her parents wouldn’t let her go to the pub so being the gent that I was I used to go out and get bladdered then go round to her house on the way home for lots of sex. We would wait for her parents to go to bed then start humping away on the sofa.
One night, after a particularly heavy drinking session I popped round on my way home and went through the usual routine of waiting for her mum and dad to go to bed before indulging ourselves on the sofa once again.
I would normally walk home once the deed was done but on this occasion I must have fallen asleep. My girlfriend covered me with a blanket and went to bed.
Next morning I awoke bright and early and lay there with my eyes closed, thinking about the session we had enjoyed on that same sofa some six hours earlier, This aroused me again, and my willy began to respond so I assisted by giving it a few strokes of encouragement.
At his point I realised that the blanket must have fallen off me during the night so I opened my eyes and then the full horror of what was happening smacked me in the face :shock: :shock: …………………………………………………………Her mum and dad were sat drinking tea in the chairs next to the fireplace about two feet away from me, staring open-mouthed in my direction as I lay there naked, on my back, playing with my erection!!!!
I wanted to die and couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
That was my most embarrassing moment; I dare you to share yours with everyone!!!! :lol: :lol:
Fuck me Sarge !!!! You're a genius !!!!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: when i was 18 i borrowed the old mans car one sunday night,it was freezing cold and i ha d no money,so i picked up my then girlfriend and we drove off to do what 18 year olds do,well when i had finished a threw the condom out of the window and we drove home,
when i dropped her off her parents were just arriving back from were they had been and her dad came over for a chat,he was ok but then he got a bit funny,and made the girlfriend go in without saying goodbye?
when i got home i realised why,stuck on my door was a used condom
when i dropped her off her parents were just arriving back from were they had been and her dad came over for a chat,he was ok but then he got a bit funny,and made the girlfriend go in without saying goodbye?
when i got home i realised why,stuck on my door was a used condom
mine has to be the time i had a cpl come round to my house one sunday afternoon, my mum had got the kids for the day so i though what the hell, so round they come and we ended up in the bedroom, as you do, anyway about 30 mins into the session i hear a knock at the door, ignored it and carried on, then a shout thro the letter box it was my sister, so again ignored it and carried on, well i must have forgotten to lock the door cause next thing i know the bedroom door opens and theres stood my sister watching us as i have gone down on this woman and her hubbies on his knees next to us wanking :shock:
lissa,had me in stitches imagining you with that bull :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
my most embarrasing moment was a drunken saturday night when i was 18 that got the courage up,(dutch courage as u do) to aproach this stunning lass bout fifteen year older than me,well all goes well,night of passion that a 18 year old cud only dream of! off i tootle in the early hours as hubby was on nights and back home to sleep off the booze n high of a lustful the tuesday morning when my dad got in from work he ordered me downstairs as if the world was comoing to an end,he wunt say wot was up but frogmarched me to the car and drove me to a familiar lookin street,pulled up at a house n ,yep u geussed it,the house id been in the previous sat nite,now i was beginning to get a touch worried!!! he knocked on the door and was given a welcome by as i was geussing the know thinkin wot the hells happenin,they surely cant know?cud they? the wife was not there and i was asked when was the last time id seen my driving licence?its in my wallet i replied thinkin id got away with this night of passion! yep u geussed it,id dropped my licence in ladies bedroom and hubby had found it when he came home and he recognised the name n adress on it as mine as he was unknown to me my dads workmate!!!! got told id of had a good kicking if he hadnt of known me dad but very humiliating to hav ya dad know ya been a bad boy!!!!! chores and alsorts of crapfor weeks after from me dad ops: :oops:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: my most embarrasing moment was a drunken saturday night when i was 18 that got the courage up,(dutch courage as u do) to aproach this stunning lass bout fifteen year older than me,well all goes well,night of passion that a 18 year old cud only dream of! off i tootle in the early hours as hubby was on nights and back home to sleep off the booze n high of a lustful the tuesday morning when my dad got in from work he ordered me downstairs as if the world was comoing to an end,he wunt say wot was up but frogmarched me to the car and drove me to a familiar lookin street,pulled up at a house n ,yep u geussed it,the house id been in the previous sat nite,now i was beginning to get a touch worried!!! he knocked on the door and was given a welcome by as i was geussing the know thinkin wot the hells happenin,they surely cant know?cud they? the wife was not there and i was asked when was the last time id seen my driving licence?its in my wallet i replied thinkin id got away with this night of passion! yep u geussed it,id dropped my licence in ladies bedroom and hubby had found it when he came home and he recognised the name n adress on it as mine as he was unknown to me my dads workmate!!!! got told id of had a good kicking if he hadnt of known me dad but very humiliating to hav ya dad know ya been a bad boy!!!!! chores and alsorts of crapfor weeks after from me dad
ops: :oops: Quote by anais
Im too innocent.....never had an embarrassing moment
xanaisx
Well I have now!!!
I was out in London with friends and they *dragged me* into a sex shop in soho..... anyway, I couldnt resist buying this huge vibrator (was a pretty colour).
Later in the evening, we went to the Theatre and because they had been lots of bomb scares they were scanning/searching the ladies bags..... guess what they found in mine!!!
ops: xanaisx
I sympathise anais. I had something very similar happen to me.
I used to organise Ann Summers parties and on my way one afternoon I nipped into town to get some supplies ( balloons, pencils etc ) and not wanting to leave my briefcase in the car I took it with me. Following the 7/7 bombings, security was pretty tight even in Cardiff and in one store the security guards asked to see inside my briefcase. Imagine the looks on their faces when they were confronted by numerous vibrators, dildos and fluffy handcuffs, 3 copies of Playgirl, 2 pairs of open crotch panties and assorted condoms in all colours and flavours.
I used to organise Ann Summers parties and on my way one afternoon I nipped into town to get some supplies ( balloons, pencils etc ) and not wanting to leave my briefcase in the car I took it with me. Following the 7/7 bombings, security was pretty tight even in Cardiff and in one store the security guards asked to see inside my briefcase. Imagine the looks on their faces when they were confronted by numerous vibrators, dildos and fluffy handcuffs, 3 copies of Playgirl, 2 pairs of open crotch panties and assorted condoms in all colours and flavours.
