I've been around a bit in my time on the net (hey I'm middle aged) and I remember the essence of good manners long before they became entwined in HTML. I'm no greener. Heard it all,been there done that.. I take the piss as good as I get.... I'm not at all offended by any remarks left about me... As I said before if someone doesn't like my pitch and leaves a remark it's a free bump... And being a single guy (by choice I might add) any publicity is good publicity... So my long and drawn out point is ?..... This isn't just my opinion, it's seems sometimes remarks that are veiled as humour are not actually intended as such... Once again I'm not concerned about the opinions of others, but some other newbies are intimidated by the tactics of a small hand full of members.. As to their motives I have no idea... I'm new to the so called "swinging" game and it's history is awash with nostalgia. In my humble opinion the values are inherent to all humans and not at all solely owned by any particular group of people. We are all mortal and take comfort in our everyday experiences with others that share the same sense of wonder and fear of life and death... We yearn to interact with others.. It's genetic.. We have space age gadgets but the slightly upgraded brains and genitals of monkeys.. It's not swinging it's just being nice to each other... Somewhere in the bible (I don't believe most of it) it says" treat others as you would like to be treated"... This in fact was the basic belief of many religions long before the main stream religions took it's arguably inept hold over many parts of the so called civilized world. So If you wouldn't like it done to you ? Don't do it !
A thread aint a thread without a response so I will at least give you a bump.
You may well have been around and worn the T-shirt, but thats no special qualification for understanding the working of this particular forum. I doubt that in the short time you've been posting you can possibly have understood the posting styles of a number of the regular posters, making your assumption that their humour is actually veiled contempt or a 'tactic' to put off new posters ill informed.
There can often be no quarter given when someone posts something that shows a complete lack of understanding about what the community / cafe is all about and I include regulars as well as newbies in that statement, if I was to post something completely twatish, I would be told about it with the same brusqueness, it is that very thing that has helped this particular forum succeed, call it a covert modding tool if you like, but trust me, if it wasn't there, the place would be a wishy washy one line wonder forum with no bite, nor posters with real character.
i will admit when i first started to post on the forums i found it hard to fit in to (as i thought at the time) the very close nit community. i had used the ads part of the site for nearly 12 months when i started using the forums and did not think myself as a newbie
so i sat back and just watched read the posts and then started to understand things. people (not all but quite alot) see the site as a get fucked quick site and jump in with half hearted posts with no real intentions of been part of the community just wanting a quick fuck. if you want to do that then post in the lets meet up or use the ads.
The forums is a place to get to no all the people in the community by sitting back and reading the forums getting to no the other people on here then once you have got the feel of things then join in ye at first you may not get acnowledged but thats cos people dont no you and will keep looking for your posts to get to know you like you have them.
it is a sad fact :upset: that because of the amount of none genuine newbies on here that the regulars can at times be a little bit on the defencive but percervier and you will be welcomed with opened arms and get to meet some great people on here just like we have
I just wanted to drop a quick line to say that although I take gingerminge’s point – and it is valid, there can be some harsh exchanges on the forums from time to time I have to say that I understand why. As you’ll see I’m pretty new to the posting side of this site but given time I know I will probably become one of those eager to slap down any newbie that sees this site as a simple way to “get laid quickâ€.
I know we were all new once, and in some ways it’s the more established posters job to cultivate and nurture these forums to ensure they survive and flourish through the new members – but in order to do so there has to be an element of pride in what they have created (this has probably been heightened by the recent takeover) and with pride comes a desire to protect.
So I don’t blame the more established members for pouncing on posts such as “21 year old stud for hire†or “bet you cant suck my cock dry†because these guys aren’t here to become part of the “community†they are here because they cant afford the subscriptions to Ok from time to time they can be a bit over zealous but until us newbies become established its important to understand this not just any old posting forum, this is their “baby†and at the moment we are just guests.
I have to say however in my short time on this site everyone has been very helpful and really decent to me – they have pointed out my errors from time to time but more importantly, and more frequently, they have taken the time to drop me a line to say well done when i've managed to make a considered contribution.
Once again I can see gngerminges frustrations and understand them but I guess at the moment us new guys will inevitably be judged by the majority – until we prove otherwise!
Ok so it wasnt that quick - but I got carried away! sorry! lol
I am happy to talk with anyone as long as they don't become fanatical about it ! I may not agree to what others say but the very act of putting my view or point across runs the risk of getting shot down., accept it. Somtimes we win sometimes we lose but the fact remains that anyone that tangles with me goes away altered slightly. Challenge is good, provided it does not become a insult game. and if it does, think stand up comedy ! There is an art to put downs y know,
Here Here (too hungover to come up with anything meaningful)
that's a fair point ginge. But perhaps you need to see it from both sides, I was a single male looking for swinging fun, and now I'm part of a couple looking for couples/bi-fems. The problem is that many single males don't act with any dignity, they don't read profiles and will chance their arm with any profile. Some, if you are polite - will take it as a chance to steal a yard or 10..rather than take the hint.
You mention the human condition, well it's part of the way we think that negative connotations stick. We've dealt with lots of single males on here and elsewhere, but it's the bad/rude ones who stick in your mind and they form your "stereotype" of them. True we've had some who've PM'd and been polite, we've had others who've jumped straight in.
By it's very nature you have to accept that for every bi-fem and genuine couple you want to hook up with there will be 110 single males looking for a sniff. I was one of them and, though often annoyed at the impoliteness you have encountered, accepted it because it's the way this system works.
Anyway - hopefully a cogent reply to a good post, take care and good luck mate.
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assionkiss: :thumbup: :welcome: 
