My past year!

27 Nov 2004

I just had to post this post as I've been thinking about how much Ive changed (maybe not so much changed but more getting back to the self I once had many moons ago only better!)
Ive felt so happy the past year now things seem to have got so much better than they were for years and tbh on and off it was pretty rough at times before that and my head was pretty messed up. I think the most important thing thats happened and that Ive learned the past year is to be myself and not to be afraid of new experiences and also to grab life by the balls because life really is far too short.
Im only 28 and I feel that being so repressed for such a long time (mainly because of hangups from my past and not being able to deal with them!)
I think I just wanted to write this post for anybody still feeling in that vunerable limbo position to say chin up and go out there a seek what makes you happy and take it, be yourself and dont let anybody put you down for it!!
Things CAN only get better biggrin

27 Nov 2004

Quote by fruity1976
I think I just wanted to write this post for anybody still feeling in that vunerable limbo position to say chin up and go out there a seek what makes you happy and take it, be yourself and dont let anybody put you down for it!!

Thank you Fruity - I've been in PMs with someone going through a real crappy time. I have said the above to him, but when you're right in the middle of crap, you tend not to believe it...... So it's great having someone else say the exact same thing and I'm gonna point em to your post!!!! biggrin

I can't believe how much I've changed this past couple of years. I came out of a relationship which, at the time I was sure it was 'the real thing'. From my side it was, obviously from his angle I was just a distraction. Obviously hindsight is a wonderful thing, and could eventually see exactly what he was like.
I also had always been in a relationship since the age of 17, so I came out of that last one with zero confidence, zero self esteem, extrememly hurt and humiliated. Never thought there was a better life just round the corner waiting for me to spot it.
I joined SH almost a year ago, having built up enough confidence to actually post...... and just haven't looked back since. I've become the Misschief that had been dormant for so long, even my parents have said I'm once again the person I used to be. My outlook is totally different - I adore being single, just me and the kids. Materially we don't have a lot, the mortgage makes sure of that. But as a little unit we have the world at our feet, just love life!!!! :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
On to the modding thing - I've been doing this since June. I have never ever done anything where I have to make decisions about things that are not concerning me directly. It's still an incredibly difficult thing for me to do sometimes - get myself totally worked up about stuff, which the other mods can vouch for lol

But they and Mark have been just superb in both offering advice and giving amazing support (massive hugs to em).
I bought the modding thing up cos it is also relevant in my everyday life. It's given me so much more confidence in myself...... To the point where the past couple of weeks, when my manager has been on hols, I've managed the office. Not a lot to some people, but enough to send me into near nervous breakdown when I've had to do it before, would just have had heart attack if someone dared to phone up with ......... of all things..........a question :shock:
For the first time, I've done it :bounce: Not only done it, but done it calmly. Managed to sort out stuff that before I would've not gone near for fear of doing it wrong.
It's such a small thing, but huge to me, I've always been a 'plod along in the background' kind of girl............. Ok and the place I had to manage did actually only involve, 2 cats, a dozen chickens, a peacock and 2 dogs occasionally rolleyes

........... But I sorted them out, and ran the office!!!!!!!!! :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
So have I changed much this past couple of years? Hell yeh!!! I barely recognise myself. And thank you to every single one of you for helping me reach where I am passionkiss

27 Nov 2004

I always enter a year with many positive t5houghts xx
Like everyone I have had good and bad years xx
Unfortunatelt this has been an exceptionally bad year for me xx
My good friends on here know what I have been going through xx
I feel this has been my worse year ever.................................. but xx
I have met mike this year and I feel this is what has helped me remain as possitive as can be xx
I always look for positives in my life and will do for the new year xx
As we all know life is for living xx
All the problems and issues in life are, in my opinion, to help us through the coming years xx
We should always look to the future, although at times it is very difficult to xx
Here's to a fantastic 2005 xx
:happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy:

27 Nov 2004

Quote by MISSCHIEF
I think I just wanted to write this post for anybody still feeling in that vunerable limbo position to say chin up and go out there a seek what makes you happy and take it, be yourself and dont let anybody put you down for it!!

Thank you Fruity - I've been in PMs with someone going through a real crappy time. I have said the above to him, but when you're right in the middle of crap, you tend not to believe it...... So it's great having someone else say the exact same thing and I'm gonna point em to your post!!!! biggrin

I can't believe how much I've changed this past couple of years. I came out of a relationship which, at the time I was sure it was 'the real thing'. From my side it was, obviously from his angle I was just a distraction. Obviously hindsight is a wonderful thing, and could eventually see exactly what he was like.
I also had always been in a relationship since the age of 17, so I came out of that last one with zero confidence, zero self esteem, extrememly hurt and humiliated. Never thought there was a better life just round the corner waiting for me to spot it.
I joined SH almost a year ago, having built up enough confidence to actually post...... and just haven't looked back since. I've become the Misschief that had been dormant for so long, even my parents have said I'm once again the person I used to be. My outlook is totally different - I adore being single, just me and the kids. Materially we don't have a lot, the mortgage makes sure of that. But as a little unit we have the world at our feet, just love life!!!! :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
On to the modding thing - I've been doing this since June. I have never ever done anything where I have to make decisions about things that are not concerning me directly. It's still an incredibly difficult thing for me to do sometimes - get myself totally worked up about stuff, which the other mods can vouch for lol

But they and Mark have been just superb in both offering advice and giving amazing support (massive hugs to em).
I bought the modding thing up cos it is also relevant in my everyday life. It's given me so much more confidence in myself...... To the point where the past couple of weeks, when my manager has been on hols, I've managed the office. Not a lot to some people, but enough to send me into near nervous breakdown when I've had to do it before, would just have had heart attack if someone dared to phone up with ......... of all things..........a question :shock:
For the first time, I've done it :bounce: Not only done it, but done it calmly. Managed to sort out stuff that before I would've not gone near for fear of doing it wrong.
It's such a small thing, but huge to me, I've always been a 'plod along in the background' kind of girl............. Ok and the place I had to manage did actually only involve, 2 cats, a dozen chickens, a peacock and 2 dogs occasionally rolleyes

........... But I sorted them out, and ran the office!!!!!!!!! :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
So have I changed much this past couple of years? Hell yeh!!! I barely recognise myself. And thank you to every single one of you for helping me reach where I am passionkiss

I totally understand everything you just said up there especially the bit about the real MISSCHIEF being dormant for a long time, I think I lost meslef so long ago I tried hard to get back to what I was before all the shit that helped mess me up but I know I can never get that same person back which I now very gratefully accept, if it wasnt for all the past experiences I wouldnt think the way I do now and I can honestly say Im at the happiest point ive been at in too many years to remember!!
As for the being single and not having much, Im in the same position and I dont care much anymore cause Im so happy with my life situation, material things have no real place in my life even though its nice to have a treat now and then!
Having the opportunity to meet and interact with so many amazing people is one of the things that makes me realise that the world isnt always such a shit place afterall :D
I would also say this site has really helped a lot having so many great people and also meeting my shagging partner too!! I just think hes the best thing since sliced bread a real gem!! Im really really very very lucky
Oh and I canny wait for the munch !! 4 fecking months surprised

How will I manage!!
Im a bit munch/swinging virgin but Im really looking forward to it so much!
Happy Saturday All smile

27 Nov 2004

Wow can I add my 2p's worth to this. There's lots of heartfelt stuff been said already and I feel that I can add a little too.
Two years ago my life fell apart. My father in law died in front of us then a few months later I discovered my ex husband was having an affair. I threw him out and he is now with her. My world had ended. There was just me and the kids left in it, if it wasn't for them I wouldn't be here now. Over the last 2 years I have slowly rebuilt my life and rediscovered the real me. I know I can cope with anything life throws at me because I have had to go through most of it already.
The breakthrough came when I met my ex boyfriend. For all it didn't work out and he was a two timing shit he gave me the confidence to realise that I wasn't the tired, past it, unfanciable drudge that I thought I had become. I had lost my sex drive during my marriage because we were so incompatible, his idea of love and sex were so far apart from mine they were on different planets. For a while I believed that was the real me, a sexless woman with no passion or drive. My boyfriend re-ignited the fire that I had when I was younger, when sex was fun and exciting.
I started to think after we split up and because of a couple of online friends talking about swinging and munches it opened my eyes and I thought 'hmm that sounds like fun'. I plucked up the courage to place an ad on SH and was hugely encouraged by the response I got, I put a very honest description of myself on the ad and I still got lots of replies! I then arranged to meet one guy, which turned into a few guys then the first guy and I went to a hotel party together which was an amazing experience. I finally admitted my bi-curiousness and tried it for the first time!
Today I am going to Satins party and I can't believe it! My eyes are well and truly open again, my sex drive is back with a vengeance and I am experiencing so many new and amazing things I feel alive again. I still have my shit days but they are much less than they used to be and I am having fun again!

27 Nov 2004

EXCELLENT

Its great to hear people getting on and having such great lifes!!
The world is most definetly our oyster!! biggrin

27 Nov 2004

Good to see everyone being so positive biggrin

I've thought for a long time that we're masters of our own destiny. I don't mean we can control what happens but we can control our responses and attitudes to events and situations - sometimes its a very difficult thing to learn.
I've just had a very hard year, both personally and professionally. But business is now poised on the brink of huge success and although there are things I would change in my personal life I feel that will be resolved in time.
I've not really changed inside myself, and I've always had quite a lot of self confidence and belief but been a bit reserved. The inner me is much more in evidence now, the passion I have for life is more externalised and I can now speak in public with much more fluency and conviction (in fact it gives me quite a buzz instead of being nerve-wracking).
So well done one and all, and best wishes for your continuing success
SA
XXX

27 Nov 2004

Well last june I had a huge fall out with my mum because she was going through a breakdown so I ended up having to move out and learn to stand on my own to feet which resulted in me falling out with my whole family which continued on to me suffering from depression. Once I admitted I had a problem i thought things would get better but they just got worse. I had worked hard to lose over 4 stone and then I put a stone and a half back on. I quit my college course. Refused to work cuase I had such a low opinion of myself. I hated my self and I just wanted to die.
A year on I still have bad days but I'm getting better gradually.
biggrin

27 Nov 2004

tut tut tut scandal rolleyes

, How did I know it would be you to make such a comment
but thank you :twisted:

27 Nov 2004

Only in the eyes of people who believe

life is beautiful

27 Nov 2004

:shock:

27 Nov 2004

It is a nice quote.
poke

27 Nov 2004

Quote by lil_miz_naughty_0204

It is a nice quote.

Speaking of quotes, does 'Do unto others as you would have done unto you' translate into 'Shag and be shagged' in Swinginese? wink

SA
XXX

27 Nov 2004

I like that one

27 Nov 2004

wow what a sad post. happy endings all round though it seems. I too am on this site to try and forget, perhaps it should be renamed 'foriegn legion' the love of my life dumped me without warning or reason and wont even speak to me about it so my world is crap at the moment. I hope i end up feeling as posetive as the contributers to this thread although I dont hold out much hope at the moment

27 Nov 2004

:therethere: aww racer
It will get better, when myself and mr naughty had a beak up for a few minths 2 yrs ago I thought my world had ended but it does get easier, until they stop you at the local shop and tell you they still love you and talk you into their house for a fuck session rolleyes

27 Nov 2004

Quote by racer3
wow what a sad post. happy endings all round though it seems. I too am on this site to try and forget, perhaps it should be renamed 'foriegn legion' the love of my life dumped me without warning or reason and wont even speak to me about it so my world is crap at the moment. I hope i end up feeling as posetive as the contributers to this thread although I dont hold out much hope at the moment

Racer, I really hope it all works out for you soon. I'm sure most of us here have been in the same position, I certainly have lots of times.
But though you may not feel it at the moment, whats been said before in this thread is that its how you deal with what happens to you that makes the difference. Whats more the people here can really help you feel better about yourself biggrin

SA
XXX

27 Nov 2004

I thought that i had been through couple of years but having seen what other people have been through it makes me more thankful for what little i have.
Chin up folks it does get better its only a matter of time!!

27 Nov 2004

Aw staffy, nothing is so bad that it cant get worse. I cant remember where I heard that but maybe its not the best thing to say in this thread,
I am such a pessismist *mis-spelt*

27 Nov 2004

Fruity,Misschief,MQ,Spirited,lil_miz,Scandal,Racer - its very touching to read what you have will relate to your visitors who thing this is some kind of quick shag site would do well to read this thread - it proves - We think!We feel!
I was rock bottom in July.I still have difficult times why I love all the fun on here so times I have posted when I've felt low - not the brightest of ideas - yet I've felt most of you here will accept someone however wonderful or flawed they are at a particular time so long as they're not totally abusive or insensitive to the finer feelings of others.I am learning so much as I go on.I need to be here,to turn this life of mine around,to be part of what I think is,on the whole,a beautiful place.

27 Nov 2004

..a beautiful place with plenty of Led Zeppelin quotes when Spirited Away is around..
"Llittle drops of rain/Whisper of the pain/Tears of love lost in the days gone by.."
..don't worry - I'm sure we'll get our happy endings!

27 Nov 2004

Quote by Flirty Fruitcake
..a beautiful place with plenty of Led Zeppelin quotes when Spirited Away is around..
"Llittle drops of rain/Whisper of the pain/Tears of love lost in the days gone by.."
..don't worry - I'm sure we'll get our happy endings!

I see you're easily Led, Flirty wink

SA
xxx

27 Nov 2004

Quote by SpiritedAway
..a beautiful place with plenty of Led Zeppelin quotes when Spirited Away is around..
"Llittle drops of rain/Whisper of the pain/Tears of love lost in the days gone by.."
..don't worry - I'm sure we'll get our happy endings!

I see you're easily Led, Flirty wink

SA
xxx
How many more times Spirited Away - Lets not threadjack this superb thread with a whole lotta references to Led Zeppelin - It'll leave other SH members Dazed and Confused and some might be Sick Again of me Wearing and Tearing their patience saying I'm Gonna Crawl to Kashmir and back over What is and What Should Never Be.

27 Nov 2004

SA
XXX

27 Nov 2004

HIJACKER

lol

27 Nov 2004

Quote by lil_miz_naughty_0204
HIJACKER
lol

I'm certainly a 'jacker' although probably of the 'low' variety wink

SA
XXX

27 Nov 2004

:twisted:

27 Nov 2004

hehe glad to see this thread has worked out well and if it helps someone get through one more day to a better way of life then its definetly worth baring your soul for! biggrin

27 Nov 2004

Yes, indeed. And most of it from north of the border too biggrin

SA
xxx

27 Nov 2004

Must be somethong to do with the crappy weather