My thoughts on social gatherings.......

9 Apr 2005

Quote by Steve_Lincs
BTW we will be bringing the munch brunch back again this year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woohooo ! ! ! :bounce: :bounce: Can I bring my own coffee cup :bounce: :bounce:
Sorry - just got a little over excited there. If I can get back with a more serious post, before this starts going in circles; I will.

9 Apr 2005

Will someone gis a clue on how to pick out seperate qoutes...sort of multi qoutes cos now I wanna have a pick at a few other statements and it would make it a bit clearer if I do it in the qoute things.
..............davej trying to be serious but being beaten by technology redface

9 Apr 2005

(Post deleted as I realised I was really just repeating myself.
Anyway, His Lairdship's post below is better. biggrin

)

9 Apr 2005

Ok
I’ve debated long and hard about posting this but reckon my two bits worth are as valid as anyone else’s so here goes……..
Fee and I attended our first munch last month after about 6 months on the site, getting to know folks and getting known, both on open forum and in private conversation.
We were under no doubtas to the purpose of the munch and perhaps as a result of that AND the new friends we had made prior to attending, on arriving at the venue we were both completely at ease and spent the evening in great company meeting loads of new people.
Even one unfortunate incident couldn’t spoil the lovely time we had and as Ice has said

Quote by Ice Pie
......and I know that other people have felt under pressure to comply, that it was 'normal', and that to refuse would be seen as anti-social.

the only advice, albeit with a certain degree of hindsight, we would have is the age old but relatively effective “No thanks!!”.It may make things awkward for a moment but no one will think any less of you.
As an Older and wiser member summed up perfectly for me (Well he’s certainly older wink

)

Why do people think they can get away with something here {Munch} that would get them a slap in the mouth anywhere else!

We would have no problem going to another event.
With regards to cameras, we actually made the conscious decision to leave ours at home because we felt that as first timers, it would be inappropriate. There were two cameras at our munch and we are thankful for that as we have now got a couple of lovely pics from the night but everyone was very curteous about the taking of the pics and if you didn’t want to be in them then that would have been respected.
Perhaps that’s the word that sums everything up????
RESPECT
For the company and fellow munchers,
for the good name of the site
for the organisers of the event
and for the bar staff etc, who may not share our more liberal outlook on life.

9 Apr 2005

All I can say is I am glad ive never been to a munch if onlu a proportion of the goings ons commented on are true!!!!
Believe me if anyone tried to snog or grop me with out my position there would be n ambulance needed and it wouldnt be for me!!
Maybe the time is approaching for small, civilised and select social meetings to be arranged?

9 Apr 2005

Quote by davej
Sorry Clare, but I've got to disagree with some of the things you've said unfortunately I can't do the seperate qoute thingy sorry, so it isn't that easy to read.
firstly you say that
"A lot of snogging and a bit of groping does take place which is perfectly fine amongst consenting peeps"
I have to disagree, the whole point of a munch is that it's sold to individuals as a social meeting not as an event where they are gonna witness, tits out, dicks out, groping and other behaviour that you most certainly don't see in your average pub on a Saturday night.

I understand what your saying and agree that tits out dicks out should not I interpret as a grope that is acceptable,is maybe grabbing Steves arse or someone who I know would invite I can see how this would make others think it was acceptable to do freely confused

Quote by davej
You then say
"The thing that I find difficult with this statement is that if you dont want to be snogged or fondled by anyone,then why let them in the first place."
Surely it shouldn't be happening in the first place, thats the point, why should people be on their guard or find the need to become defensive against situations that shouldn't happen

That is a good point,but surely adluts are capable of taking care of themselves to a point :?

Quote by davej
you then say
"sorry but I cannot see how anyone can complain about being snogged or fondled if they ALLOWED it to happen. :? :? :?"
C'mon you know as well as I that sometimes events and situations can sometimes outstrip your thinking and reaction time and that the event has already happened before you can respond, I go back to my previous comment, the bloody behaviour shouldn't have occured in the first place, don't place the onus on innapropriate behaviour control on the offended to defend themselves, place it on the offenders that don't know how to behave at a purely social gathering.

Im not saying that the blame should be placed on the offended themselves at all,and I totally agree that peeps shouldnt do this in the first I am saying is that if some prat lunges in even if you are caught unaware then surely if you are uncomfortable with it then why not push them away???
I hope that this is coming across as I have intended as Im finding it difficult to express what I mean in the right way :?

9 Apr 2005

Quote by the_Laird
Ok
Iâ€™ve debated long and hard about posting this but reckon my two bits worth are as valid as anyone elseâ€™s so here goesâ€¦â€¦..
Fee and I attended our first munch last month after about 6 months on the site, getting to know folks and getting known, both on open forum and in private conversation.
We were under no doubt as to the purpose of the munch and perhaps as a result of that AND the new friends we had made prior to attending, on arriving at the venue we were both completely at ease and spent the evening in great company meeting loads of new people.
Even one unfortunate incident couldnâ€™t spoil the lovely time we had and as Ice has said

......and I know that other people have felt under pressure to comply, that it was 'normal', and that to refuse would be seen as anti-social.

the only advice, albeit with a certain degree of hindsight, we would have is the age old but relatively effective â€œNo thanks!!â€.It may make things awkward for a moment but no one will think any less of you.
As an Older and wiser member summed up perfectly for me (Well heâ€™s certainly older wink

)

Why do people think they can get away with something here {Munch} that would get them a slap in the mouth anywhere else!

We would have no problem going to another event.
With regards to cameras, we actually made the conscious decision to leave ours at home because we felt that as first timers, it would be inappropriate. There were two cameras at our munch and we are thankful for that as we have now got a couple of lovely pics from the night but everyone was very curteous about the taking of the pics and if you didnâ€™t want to be in them then that would have been respected.
Perhaps thatâ€™s the word that sums everything up????
RESPECT
For the company and fellow munchers,
for the good name of the site
for the organisers of the event
and for the bar staff etc, who may not share our more liberal outlook on life.
:thumbup: Exactly biggrin

9 Apr 2005

I don't want our munches to exclude anyone as that would defy the definition of what a munch is.I'm sorry that Tune and Foxy feel like they wouldnt feel comfortable at a munch as they are great events and most people enjoy them a great deal.
We really want everyone to attend and after reading all thats been put so far have taken oin board some of the don't believe that its possible to stop people snogging and we quite enjoy it and i don't see anything wrong with giving a consenting person a pinch on the we don't want to see is people baring tits,cocks etc,if people wish to do this they should wait till do have a very conpetent bouncer at our do's and anyone who feels uncomfortable by someones advances should tell us or our bouncer and the matter will be sorted out.
As many people will tell you though the first Notts munch was a great success amd many people joined up at the hotel after for drinks and a happened and anyone wanting fun went to their rooms.
As for the idea that this sort of thing wouldnt happen at smaller events,i don't believe thats the its gonna happen it'll happen at large or small events.

9 Apr 2005

Quote by Clare_Lincs

Sorry Clare, but I've got to disagree with some of the things you've said unfortunately I can't do the seperate qoute thingy sorry, so it isn't that easy to read.
firstly you say that
"A lot of snogging and a bit of groping does take place which is perfectly fine amongst consenting peeps"
I have to disagree, the whole point of a munch is that it's sold to individuals as a social meeting not as an event where they are gonna witness, tits out, dicks out, groping and other behaviour that you most certainly don't see in your average pub on a Saturday night.

I understand what your saying and agree that tits out dicks out should not I interpret as a grope that is acceptable,is maybe grabbing Steves arse or someone who I know would invite I can see how this would make others think it was acceptable to do freely confused

Quote by davej
You then say
"The thing that I find difficult with this statement is that if you dont want to be snogged or fondled by anyone,then why let them in the first place."
Surely it shouldn't be happening in the first place, thats the point, why should people be on their guard or find the need to become defensive against situations that shouldn't happen

That is a good point,but surely adluts are capable of taking care of themselves to a point :?

Quote by davej
you then say
"sorry but I cannot see how anyone can complain about being snogged or fondled if they ALLOWED it to happen. :? :? :?"
C'mon you know as well as I that sometimes events and situations can sometimes outstrip your thinking and reaction time and that the event has already happened before you can respond, I go back to my previous comment, the bloody behaviour shouldn't have occured in the first place, don't place the onus on innapropriate behaviour control on the offended to defend themselves, place it on the offenders that don't know how to behave at a purely social gathering.

Im not saying that the blame should be placed on the offended themselves at all,and I totally agree that peeps shouldnt do this in the first I am saying is that if some prat lunges in even if you are caught unaware then surely if you are uncomfortable with it then why not push them away???
I hope that this is coming across as I have intended as Im finding it difficult to express what I mean in the right way :?
Are you showing off with them multi qoute thingies Clare...are you....are you.... smackbottom

.....
I'm sure your coming across as you intended, which is why I disagree with you....
Oh and I can now do the multi qoute thing thanks to some fine folk on here :bounce:

9 Apr 2005

Quote by dambuster

BTW we will be bringing the munch brunch back again this year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woohooo ! ! ! :bounce: :bounce: Can I bring my own coffee cup :bounce: :bounce:
Sorry - just got a little over excited there. If I can get back with a more serious post, before this starts going in circles; I will.
wouldn't be the same if you didn't
lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: wink

I'm really sorry to hear that some people are unwilling to come to a munch (especially Tune) as it's always lovely to meet new people,but as a recently new "munchee" I can understand why the stories regarding sex in toilets and unwelcome gropes can be a put off as it was certainly an eye opener for me .However apart from a couple of uncomfortable moments, which I was saved from by another member who had taken me under their wing, I had a ball.
I don't know if people don't approach me for unsolictised gropes etc because they are aware I don't swing, or the fact EASY is never to far away :lol: or because I just don't move out of the little group of close friends I have on here, but I've had no real reasons to complain about either of the Munches I've enjoyed.
Although I'am aware that "things" go on and I will admitt that on my first Munch I thought it was the norm and if I hadn't been told differently I would never had gone to the second Munch as that is just not me.

9 Apr 2005

One question comes to mind after reading all this. is there a scenario at these munch's where newbies are made to feel as if playing gooseberry, while a select bunch of regulars cavort in front of them? If that is the case, then wouldn't it be a good idea if there was somewhere set aside for those who do wish to get intimate, to do it in private? Otherwise I can immagine this being quite a negative experience for some of the newbies. Lets face it, who wants to stand around all afternoon like a spare prick at a wedding, whatching others bagging off together??

9 Apr 2005

Quote by BrightonGeezer
One question comes to mind after reading all this. is there a scenario at these munch's where newbies are made to feel as if playing gooseberry, while a select bunch of regulars cavort in front of them? If that is the case, then wouldn't it be a good idea if there was somewhere set aside for those who do wish to get intimate, to do it in private? Otherwise I can immagine this being quite a negative experience for some of the newbies. Lets face it, who wants to stand around all afternoon like a spare prick at a wedding, whatching others bagging off together??

Think you might be getting a munch mixed up with a swinging club confused

9 Apr 2005

Quote by BrightonGeezer
One question comes to mind after reading all this. is there a scenario at these munch's where newbies are made to feel as if playing gooseberry, while a select bunch of regulars cavort in front of them? If that is the case, then wouldn't it be a good idea if there was somewhere set aside for those who do wish to get intimate, to do it in private?

There is, it's called elsewhere, trouble is some fuckers can't map read and find it.

9 Apr 2005

I was led to believe that munches were purely social gatherings, with no playing. Just sitting talking with a group of friends.
If established members, who have previously played together, don't want unwanted attention, surely they should stick to this rule like they expect the newbies to?
If some of you guys sit around snogging, groping, etc, you cannot critisise the newbies who attend for thinking it is allowed. That is just hypocrisy.

tool, yep you're absolutely right in that first sentence. that's what they are, and that's how they should remain.
but like any party, where a group of friends get together and get ridiculously pissed, you'll always find someone snogging in the corner, and someone will get dekecked for a laugh, and someone will start singing really REALLY badly! :lol2: you might even have to wait for the toilet while someone finishes shagging, but it's still just a party, same as you'd have if i invited 200 people to my house.
that's not to say just cos you see THAT couple snogging eachother silly, that suddenly everyone else should follow the example and start a free for all. i don't think leading by example should come into it, nor do i see it as hypocrisy that has anything to do with established member or newbie?
neil x x x ;)

9 Apr 2005

AND what DaveJ said banghead

9 Apr 2005

As someone who has had an absolute blast at the munches I've been to, Id like to echo NiL's post.
Like Neil, I haven't seen, and hopefully, not been party to anything that would concern me. Of course I respect that we all have differing views on what might and what might not be described as acceptable behaviour.
I've spent a bit of time (gladly) reassuring a couple or three newer SH members that Munches are a great way to meet other SH members in a "non - threatening, no obligation, friendly, "What is a Munch" environment"
My favourite description is that (to me) Munches are quite like the evening part of a wedding reception, without the kids and elderly relatives, rather; in the company of like minded adults.
I stand by that description.
I think we need to be careful to keep the "problems" of the recent past in some sort of perspective and not let an urban myth develop that Munches have become some sort of free for all grope-a-thon. Again, like NiL; I really wouldn't want anyone to be put off from attending, based on anything they read in this thread.
Most of you know that I tend to treat Munches as an opportunity to gpfo - in the presence of grown up people, and by about half way through the evening I can clearly be seen to have a 'bit of a wobble on'
I think the most pertinent words I've read in the thread so far have been -
RESPECT
and
COMMONSENSE.
I say all this in the hope that my own personal behaviour has been acceptable and within the "boundaries" of others; if somewhat boisterous and sometimes raucous.
This from a man so nervous at his first Munchnand conscious of not offending, actually leaned away from a lady when introduced, and shook her bluddy hand.
Phew - that's it - on with the John Smiths and Voddy Screamers ! ! ! ! And looking forward to many more Munches :cheers:

9 Apr 2005

Quote by neilinleeds
tool, yep you're absolutely right in that first sentence. that's what they are, and that's how they should remain.
but like any party, where a group of friends get together and get ridiculously pissed, you'll always find someone snogging in the corner, and someone will get dekecked for a laugh, and someone will start singing really REALLY badly! :lol2: you might even have to wait for the toilet while someone finishes shagging, but it's still just a party, same as you'd have if i invited 200 people to my house.
that's not to say just cos you see THAT couple snogging eachother silly, that suddenly everyone else should follow the example and start a free for all. i don't think leading by example should come into it, nor do i see it as hypocrisy that has anything to do with established member or newbie?
neil x x x ;)

Thank you Neil for putting exactly what Ive been trying to say

9 Apr 2005

Quote by neilinleeds
I was led to believe that munches were purely social gatherings, with no playing. Just sitting talking with a group of friends.
If established members, who have previously played together, don't want unwanted attention, surely they should stick to this rule like they expect the newbies to?
If some of you guys sit around snogging, groping, etc, you cannot critisise the newbies who attend for thinking it is allowed. That is just hypocrisy.

tool, yep you're absolutely right in that first sentence. that's what they are, and that's how they should remain.
but like any party, where a group of friends get together and get ridiculously pissed, you'll always find someone snogging in the corner, and someone will get dekecked for a laugh, and someone will start singing really REALLY badly! :lol2: you might even have to wait for the toilet while someone finishes shagging, but it's still just a party, same as you'd have if i invited 200 people to my house.
that's not to say just cos you see THAT couple snogging eachother silly, that suddenly everyone else should follow the example and start a free for all. i don't think leading by example should come into it, nor do i see it as hypocrisy that has anything to do with established member or newbie?
neil x x x ;)
I understand your point about comparing it with an ordinary party, but as this is a 'party' involving people who've met through a swingers' site, I suppose that puts a different complexion on it.
If I eventually go to a munch as a newbie, I would expect to sit and get to know people in person that I've talked to on here. Then, down the line, it would let uhuru and I know which of these people we wanted to pm and 'take it further'. I thought that was the procedure.
I would not go to a munch and expect people to let me snog them as of right.
If people snog and grope at the munch, I just feel that is blurring the edges of the 'rules'.
It makes me feel that sticking to the ads would be less hassle than a munch, which is sad, because it's a (mostly) great crowd here on the board.
I'm hoping that Fabio will come on here later and reassure me about munches because uhuru and I would really like to attend one when we can...

9 Apr 2005

Quote by dambuster
I think the most pertinent words I've read in the thread so far have been -
RESPECT
and
COMMON SENSE.

Agreed.
Munches are meant to be good wholesome relaxed fun. Once you start invading people's space it's no longer fun. Being aware that it is a social event is important as groping a snatched kisses are not appropriate behaviour. It is more down to personal responsibility for your own actions than the job of someone else to police things.
I'd like to take the oportunity to appologise for snogging neil rather too much at munches, for laughing when he ended up with his pants round his ankles acting like a may pole! lol

and for hogging the toilet (bladder trouble due to excessive alcohol intake, sorry to disapoint)
Good thread with some vauable points! :thumbup:

9 Apr 2005

Quote by Clare_Lincs
Despite my flirty nature I am actually fairly shy and had an awful time at the Notts munch . Arrangements and security were excellent, but having people faces suddenly lunging to my busom, climbing over/listening to sex happening in the toilets, being fondled and snogged by people I had hardly spoken too online let alone in real life has indeed put me off full-blown munches. I spent most of the Notts Munch being shielded by a speaker, PiercedJon and TallnHairy

The thing that I find difficult with this statement is that if you dont want to be snogged or fondled by anyone,then why let them in the first place.??Surely If you dont want to do something,then DONT do sorry but I cannot see how anyone can complain about being snogged or fondled if they ALLOWED it to happen. confused

:? :?

Oh for fucks sake .. I am seething .. you of all people know my background and how insecure I am when in crowds and with strangers particularly males. I did push these people away and eventually go so fed up of feeling int he meat market that I backed myself into a corner and refused to leave unless surrounded by people I trusted. I told everyone who knew me I was uneasy at the time.
I haven't got the foggiest who it was, whilst heading off to find Pete, grabbed me from behind spun me round shoved his head in my tits and yes I did push him away. How could I "report" it when I hadn't a clue who he was?
I'm not a person who allows myself willingly into situations where I am uncomfortable, I have a history of domestic violence and so do know when I'm not comfortable. I did what I could to remove myself from the problem and stood myself in the corner away from the passing people.
Don't get me wrong I am happy to "play" on the scene but when I have control of myself and situation. At blues last party, having been on this emotional rollercoaster lately I let most people know publically I was there for the crack and had no intention of playing/snogging etc and everyone was fantastic. It seems to me that at munches people do forget this.
The point I was trying to make anyway isn't that I SHOULD feel the need to do this. It should be that people SHOULDN'T make me feel this way. And no I haven't said anything before (apart from just telling people I wasn't entirely comfortable) what could have been done without ruining everyone elses evening?
If you think the emphasis should've been on me to stop it Clare you are very wrong, the emphasis is on individuals who do this regardless!
Off to stop crying ... I am so angry right now!

9 Apr 2005

Quote by Calista
If you think the emphasis should've been on me to stop it Clare you are very wrong, the emphasis is on individuals who do this regardless!

As Ive already written.....

Quote by Clare_Lincs
Im not saying that the blame should be placed on the offended themselves at all,and I totally agree that peeps shouldnt do this in the first I am saying is that if some prat lunges in even if you are caught unaware then surely if you are uncomfortable with it then why not push them away???

And It wasnt a dig it was just a point that I was putting across.

9 Apr 2005

Quote by Clare_Lincs
Im not saying that the blame should be placed on the offended themselves at all,and I totally agree that peeps shouldnt do this in the first I am saying is that if some prat lunges in even if you are caught unaware then surely if you are uncomfortable with it then why not push them away???

What if you are caught in a situation where you CANT push them away??... What if they come up to you and you are stood in a corner and are not physically strong enough to push them away??....
Lets face it, if this sort of thing happened when you were out for a drink in a pub with your mates you would be calling the police as what it amounts to is SEXUAL ASSULT... Plain and simple.... No if's no but's....
Calista :therethere:
Shireen

9 Apr 2005

Quote by Ice Pie
Using the cut off date criterion seems to be a really good way of ensuring that the majority of attendees will already have a feel for what is/isn't acceptable behaviour at a munch.

Sorry Bev, I have to disagree from personal experience: The first big munch I attended, virtually the moment I walked through the door I was pounced on by someone I'd never met in person demanding a snog. My refusal was countered with a claim that snogging is "just our way of saying hello." This was not a newbie who would have been screened out by a seniority cut-off, it was a long-established and universally known member of the site. That person was egged on by other regular members and I found the behaviour both offensive and threatening. Someone more eager to fit in than myself may have felt obliged to submit to a full on snog, and I know that other people have felt under pressure to comply, that it was 'normal', and that to refuse would be seen as anti-social.
As much care needs to be taken with established people as with newbies when considering who is an appropriate person to invite to a social gathering, and that person can be in no doubt that they will never be invited to any event that I organise.
I intend at some point to arrange a social specifically for newbies, because I feel they are often subject to unfair prejudice. We keep telling newbies "come to a munch, get to know people" and then in the next breath tell them they can't come because they're not senior enough. dunno

As Dawn rightly says, events advertised openly as social gatherings should be precisely that, with no expectations placed on anyone other than the normal standards of public behaviour. Those who wish to go beyond that behaviour by mutual consent should not be putting pressure on those who don't.
Ice
Sorry Ice, I didn't mean for the cut off date to be intended as a blanket 'excuse' for seniority (which implies responsibility) and I do think that yes, there may be more senior members who might take advantage. But for the majority of people, it works.
I have to say, if I was accosted in such a manner that you describe, I'd tell who ever it was to fuck off. But that's me confused

and I do appreciate that for some people, it might seem obligatory that they snog whoever.

9 Apr 2005

Clare you are bound to feel a bit riled as it was the munch that you organised, however Calista has made a point that security was tight and it was very well held and managed.
However, as a munch organiser you do not take on the personal responsibility of the behaviour of certain guests towards other guests. It is not your fault, it is the fault of the person doing the gropping and inappropriate touching.
I too was "felt up" unwantedly at the notts munch. This does not ,for me personally, mean I had a bad munch as I am confident and have not had the same experiences as Calista. I simply brushed the encounter mentally to one side and thought nothing more of it.
We do have a duty to protect and support our less confident members. This is mainly done by the tight restrictions put on the guest list. Many people are turned away because they are an unknown quantity which can lead to things happening, not that all unknown folk cuase trouble, many do not.
I personally feel it is down to personal responsibility for the person's own behaviour to respect others and use their common sense not to upset or infringe on other's boundaries.

9 Apr 2005

I understand your point about comparing it with an ordinary party, but as this is a 'party' involving people who've met through a swingers' site, I suppose that puts a different complexion on it.

no it doesn't! AT ALL!
you will find all the behaviours you'd find in any pub on a saturday night. the fact we belong to a swingers site simply doesn't come into it. just cos someone goes to a social meet arranged on the site, doesn't mean they are signing up for some kinda shagathon. if it's a shagathon you want, well there are other opportunities, maybe even on the same night, but not at the munch! that's why there is such a big deal about join dates and cut offs and security.
they are no different to a night out down a pub. swinging is neither here nor there as far as the SOCIAL side of the meet comes into it.
n x x x .

9 Apr 2005

Quote by neilinleeds
they are no different to a night out down a pub. swinging is neither here nor there as far as the SOCIAL side of the meet comes into it.
n x x x .

No disrespect Neil but I have never seen someone giving another person a BJ in a pub before.... And thats the sort of thing that has been happening...
Shireen
xxx

9 Apr 2005

Quote by neilinleeds
I understand your point about comparing it with an ordinary party, but as this is a 'party' involving people who've met through a swingers' site, I suppose that puts a different complexion on it.

no it doesn't! AT ALL!
you will find all the behaviours you'd find in any pub on a saturday night. the fact we belong to a swingers site simply doesn't come into it. just cos someone goes to a social meet arranged on the site, doesn't mean they are signing up for some kinda shagathon. if it's a shagathon you want, well there are other opportunities, maybe even on the same night, but not at the munch! that's why there is such a big deal about join dates and cut offs and security.
they are no different to a night out down a pub. swinging is neither here nor there as far as the SOCIAL side of the meet comes into it.
n x x x .

Quote by the_Laird
As an Older and wiser member summed up perfectly for me (Well he’s certainly older )
Why do people think they can get away with something here {Munch} that would get them a slap in the mouth anywhere else!

9 Apr 2005

Quote by neilinleeds
I understand your point about comparing it with an ordinary party, but as this is a 'party' involving people who've met through a swingers' site, I suppose that puts a different complexion on it.

no it doesn't! AT ALL!
you will find all the behaviours you'd find in any pub on a saturday night. the fact we belong to a swingers site simply doesn't come into it. just cos someone goes to a social meet arranged on the site, doesn't mean they are signing up for some kinda shagathon. if it's a shagathon you want, well there are other opportunities, maybe even on the same night, but not at the munch! that's why there is such a big deal about join dates and cut offs and security.
they are no different to a night out down a pub. swinging is neither here nor there as far as the SOCIAL side of the meet comes into it.
n x x x .
I think you misunderstand me, Neil.
The fact that these parties are arranged by swingers seems to give some people the impression that they have a right to do as they please.
You seem to think I'm defending them. I'm not. I'm sorry you can't see that.
I've heard so many swingers over the years repeat the mantra 'No means No', but the examples people quote on here show that isn't happening.
I'm simply saying that if everyone followed the 'rules', none of the ladies who've spoken on this thread would have had bad experiences.

9 Apr 2005

*sigh*
I think it's all a bit sad really. When I first started going to munches I went to ones held in private function rooms and the general ambiance reminded me of News Years Eve, it was great. When I stated earlier that I didn't behave, I meant as far as it was not a private function, and snogging my friends as though it was a New Years Eve event was not perhaps the wisest move. I didn't run around half naked, and neither did I grope people. I wouldn't have groped complete strangers as a newbie or an old term member for the simple fact that I am not stupid, and people should have respect for others regardless of whether it's a munch or not. That kind of thing should be learnt as part of a decent person's basic upbringing. The excuse that 'well other people are doing it' doesn't wash with me. Respect means erring on the side of caution, and considering that these people might actually know each other...........or am I being stupid?! Even when I grabbed Neil aggressively for a snog at the NW munch, it was all in fun, and we had bounced off of one another via the forum before-hand, if he'd looked reluctant, I'd have backed off. It's not that difficult to extend some respect.
I saw plenty of people snogging each other as a way of greeting at my first munch, and I found it rather refreshing to see people express themselves so nicely. I didn't feel threatened, I didn't feel left out and neither did I feel obliged to follow suit. I just couldn't wait for people to get to know me better.
So what's gone wrong? This was never an issue a year ago.
Venusxxx

9 Apr 2005

Quote by Shireen_Mids
they are no different to a night out down a pub. swinging is neither here nor there as far as the SOCIAL side of the meet comes into it.
n x x x .

No disrespect Neil but I have never seen someone giving another person a BJ in a pub before.... And thats the sort of thing that has been happening...
Shireen
xxx
I have shireen, but I told mrs davej to get her arse back over to our table cos her Sunday lunch was getting cold :shock: rotflmao