Naming and shaming - bad idea.
Banning single males from PMing - bad idea - If I'd been banned from Pming people I'd never have made some wonderful acquaintances here.
Praising people - good idea - it works very well on e-bay.
I nuked my adultfriendfinder account a while back, but on my last login I think I noticed they'd introduced some kind of praising feedback thingy? Anyone know how well that's working for them?
Some of you on here may have used newsgroups (NNTP) basically thats all this forum is, a free format (semi-unmoderated) newsgroup.
There is no way to mung (hide) your PM address, although perhaps someone not wishing to have PM's might like a small button to click preventing PM's Obvously tho if they wanted to corispond then they would always have to make the first contact giving an email address... or the site could work so that the PM button doesnt show, but once you'd recieved a PM then you could respond to their PM box.
That said... i'm alamost 100% sure the programs behind these forums are standard as they all look the same (guessing its hosted on Linux or somesuch)
When it comes to name and shame I think the best thing is to send the details to the mods, they or the site admin should be able to tell if they are faked, perhaps by looking at the original server data... not the "quoted" details as it would be possible to fake that... then you get into loads of issues of confidentiallity, its only because we trust the site admin that we respect/expect he will not look into personal PM's.
I tend not to personally PM people, unless i've "got to know them" and have something to say other than "fancy a shag..."
I guess people could use the sigs to put acceptable contact/what looking for... but then you could end up with huge sigs..... I think this is where a simple link to an advert is better, perhaps with a "feel free to PM about non-sexual matters" :-)
Jon
I am now feeling uneasy about my avatur , does anyone think the wooly hat is a bit too see thru ? It's a worry ,all that naked skin of my bald spot showing though where I pearled 2 instead of casting off.
WOW, what a debate. I changed my opinion at least three times reading through the three pages of replies.
As a single/newbie guy it would be unfair to restrict the use of PMs. All the talk of implementing new rules or using extra computer software may push this site away from being free. I ain't a skinflint but this site appealed to me because it was free and I was able to view it over a number of days to see if it was what I was looking for. I did notice there was a lot of single males being banned or booted on the chatroom but it became easier to see who the "regulars" were and chatted to them.
I am in regular msn and phone contact with a lady from this site and made friends with her. Without the use of PMs this friendship wouldn't have happened. Yes there are idiots but don't class all of us as the same.
Marya, Jezzay and Mal put it well. What we don't want to be is Mary Whitehouse and complain about something where we have a button that gets rid of the offending material. For her it was the on/off button, for couples or singles that are offended then use the delete.
Right, I am running before I am done over. Bye xxxxxxxxxx
Dave_Notts
Dear All,
As a single male I do realise that people must get loads of unwanted PM's but is'nt it going to happen ?
I think that making "single men" to be trouble is very unfair. On the other hand its good that this has been put on the Fourm as an debate is a great thing instead of watchinh another repeat on the Television. Also I do think that the up & coming Munches
( Camping, Manchester & London ) will show whom are the commited members of this forum.
Getting unwanted PM's is an problem the only way to findout if a person is geniune is by going to their profile & reading their previous posts. This is the best way of viewing an person no matter if they are single or couple.
I do think that an guide should be given that could so people whom are new to SH & the 'net tips like an idots guide. Luck should 'ave it that I have experience with Internet Forums so I know what to do & how to build friendships. Not everyone is me ?
More of the topical stuff please as it shows that NOT every single male has his brains between his legs.
Dragon dé Ecstacy.
Please please
keep it as it is,
as a single ish bloke I would hate to be banned from PMs.
I enjoy the personal thing about PMs, sometimes it takes a while to get to know people, but in time it is really good to enjoy a more intimate time with folks in PM.
thanks to all those of you who put up with me and my PMs, but on the whoile they are well meant.
and like a previous poster I hope that an over indulgence will not result in a banning!
and hey anyone who wishes to have a laugh, PM me whenever I will speak with anyone, even Easy!! cos he is easy!! like me!!
Gilbert
I recently pm'd a couple on here who had been getting similar issues. The answer is simplistic and easy. Punch up word and write a couple of no thank you type replies. IF you get some dimwit who pms with a tool like a donkey or can do whatever for europe, then cut and paste the reply you want?
I will ALWAYS pm peoiple with the odd laugh line, and so far no one has told me to bugger off! A few have not answered, but I take this as said. However I think it is so easy to cut and paste, and you can do it quickly? Every rule can and will be broken, and like what has been said after a couple of attempts they go away!
Would'nt it be nice for fellas to be bombarded with women pming us? NFC...no furkin chance!
First of a public apology to Easy for my very brief (abrupt?) contribution before. The reason is that I really wanted to contribute to what is quite a radical debate but I was very short on time.
Generally, I think the principle of "If it ain't broke - don't fix it" applies. Most people seem to really enjoy themselves here and the moans seem to be few and ephemeral. If people are genuinely getting cheesed off then I'm sure they'd raise it with the Mods and if it was widespread Mark and others would be persuaded to do something.
As I said before I'd be dead against banning anybody PMing as I think it one of the real pleasures (giving and receiving to use a familiar phrase!). Others have said enough about the naming and shaming issue.
Anyway, Easy old pal, don't for goodness sake regret bringing it up - a debate is not only healthy - it's damn good fun too! More power to your elbow (wrist??) - whatever!
Well, having read all these replies, i still stick with my original view. I think pm's should be available to all, all it takes is a simple reply to say "Sorry, not interested". only then, after several problems and repeated requests by mods etc to comply by rules should anyone be publicly named and shamed.
I've had a few unwanted PMs. Thatcher, that bloke without a top lip, Blair ...
I'll get my coat.