I know this is fraught with danger and could possibly be abused by some people but isn't it about time this facility was made available. I have arranged at least three meets recently only to have two not turn up and the other to give a false address. I have contacted support recently only to be told there is nothing they can do. This cannot be right, there must be someway of "outing" the offending parties if the site is to survive.
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Name and shame
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The site has survived for quite a long time without a 'name and shame' policy and long may it continue to do so.
Whilst we do not ourselves subscribe to the Shrep facility, I'm sure there are those who find some comfort in it.
As you say, 'naming and shaming' and other verification systems are so open to abuse to the point of being totally useless.
Far better to 'qualify' meets by other means. As Ben_Minx implied in a different thread, you find a much better success rate by meeting people in person at 'munches' and 'socials'. Our preferred method was the ladies talking to each other by phone before a meet and then meeting in a neutral place with no expectations either way first time round. From that policy, we had no 'no-shows' and were able to wheedle out any others who might not match our requirements (and of course it worked the same way for them too!)
Whilst we do not ourselves subscribe to the Shrep facility, I'm sure there are those who find some comfort in it.
As you say, 'naming and shaming' and other verification systems are so open to abuse to the point of being totally useless.
Far better to 'qualify' meets by other means. As Ben_Minx implied in a different thread, you find a much better success rate by meeting people in person at 'munches' and 'socials'. Our preferred method was the ladies talking to each other by phone before a meet and then meeting in a neutral place with no expectations either way first time round. From that policy, we had no 'no-shows' and were able to wheedle out any others who might not match our requirements (and of course it worked the same way for them too!)
The anti naming/shaming policy is one of the cornerstone principles of Swinging Heaven and will always be upheld. However, if you insist that people you want to meet switch on their Shrep profiles, you can use that to make your meet "official" and then give negative Meet Rep if they mess you around.
Sex God
You can only check so far. We have had meets arranged with various people all fully verified with glowing report cards who then cancel at the last second or dont show. Such is life, not a lot you can do.
I suppose it depends on the individual and how bothered they are about being "named and shamed".
If it was us - and we were not genuine anyway, then why would it bother us - crack on and "name and shame" - at least we would be getting publcity.
If it was us - and we were genuine, then it would not have happened?
If it was us and we were geniune, but an unforseeable occurence precluded the meet, then the other party would be free to interpret the "non-meet" however they liked - but if we were not genuine to start with then we would not be bothered, if we were genuine then it would be your loss not ours. Plenty of others on the site.
So I don't see what there is to achieved by a name and shame.
If it was us - and we were not genuine anyway, then why would it bother us - crack on and "name and shame" - at least we would be getting publcity.
If it was us - and we were genuine, then it would not have happened?
If it was us and we were geniune, but an unforseeable occurence precluded the meet, then the other party would be free to interpret the "non-meet" however they liked - but if we were not genuine to start with then we would not be bothered, if we were genuine then it would be your loss not ours. Plenty of others on the site.
So I don't see what there is to achieved by a name and shame.
oh for heavens sake move on! There are those shitbags (no, I don't mean anyone in particular, as there's no way responses can be made all the time and surely they're nolt expected by any reasonably sane member of the human race) that don't respond and so what? If kylie responded to every email I sent she'd be online 24/7! Yes, ok. I have a thing about kylie. Yes, she always let's me down but I live in hope.
More than hope. I turned to religion just in case.
More than hope. I turned to religion just in case.
Quote by OldPerve
I have moved on and forgotten these unfortunately as I gave out my address and mobile phone number to one I have since been subjected to abuse by that person. Name and shame me if you like I've got nothing to hide.
I hope other members may learn by your experience. So thanks for posting it.
Some members, including me, never give out our address. We use hotels or other locations until we know we can trust the others. We definately do not give out our address to someone we have never met.
Some members have a "swing" phone. A cheap mobile with a sim card. This is only used for swing scenarios so when you ain't swinging, you switch it off. They can never disturb you then. Giving out my number to those we have not met is a definate no-no to us.
Dave_Notts
Quote by Dave__Notts
Some members have a "swing" phone. A cheap mobile with a sim card. This is only used for swing scenarios so when you ain't swinging, you switch it off. They can never disturb you then.
Some members are stupid enough to lose their sodding swing phone last Wednesday and are slightly pissed off with themselves :doh:
Quote by Dawnie
Some members have a "swing" phone. A cheap mobile with a sim card. This is only used for swing scenarios so when you ain't swinging, you switch it off. They can never disturb you then.
Some members are stupid enough to lose their sodding swing phone last Wednesday and are slightly pissed off with themselves :doh:
:rascal: Can you imagine finding that phone? :rascal:
Good job the NOTW has closed down Dawnie
Quote by Calista
Some members have a "swing" phone. A cheap mobile with a sim card. This is only used for swing scenarios so when you ain't swinging, you switch it off. They can never disturb you then.
Some members are stupid enough to lose their sodding swing phone last Wednesday and are slightly pissed off with themselves :doh:
:rascal: Can you imagine finding that phone? :rascal:
Good job the NOTW has closed down Dawnie
I know it will be flat by now and it does have a password on it but I am slightly nervous by what might be on it :eeek:
I'll die if it turns up in the wrong hands
Quote by Dawnie
Some members have a "swing" phone. A cheap mobile with a sim card. This is only used for swing scenarios so when you ain't swinging, you switch it off. They can never disturb you then.
Some members are stupid enough to lose their sodding swing phone last Wednesday and are slightly pissed off with themselves :doh:
:rascal: Can you imagine finding that phone? :rascal:
Good job the NOTW has closed down Dawnie
I know it will be flat by now and it does have a password on it but I am slightly nervous by what might be on it :eeek:
I'll die if it turns up in the wrong hands
I wouldn't have a clue where ours went! If we ever had one
ops: Quote by OldPerve
I have moved on and forgotten these unfortunately as I gave out my address and mobile phone number to one I have since been subjected to abuse by that person. Name and shame me if you like I've got nothing to hide.
If some one is sending abuse by phone then that is an issue for your service provider, contact them they may be able to help. As for naming and shaming you, it was a rather sarcastic remark but I was trying to point out that anyone can write a pack of lies about someone and claim it to be true, just as you claim you have nothing to hide. I only have your word for that, I may beg to differ but as I don't know you I'll assume you're telling the truth.
Sex God
Quote by OldPerve
I have moved on and forgotten these unfortunately as I gave out my address and mobile phone number to one I have since been subjected to abuse by that person. Name and shame me if you like I've got nothing to hide.
I think you need to chalk this up as experience and in future not give out your own personal details until you have met someone and decided you can trust them.
If someone is hassling you on the phone or at your address then call the police.
Sex God
Quote by JustAlan
I know this is fraught with danger and could possibly be abused by some people but isn't it about time this facility was made available. I have arranged at least three meets recently only to have two not turn up and the other to give a false address. I have contacted support recently only to be told there is nothing they can do. This cannot be right, there must be someway of "outing" the offending parties if the site is to survive.
Take more time in future to avoid the same happening. Naming and shaming isn't a good idea and having a system that allows it, would make it open to abuse.
Oh, and the site has managed to survive for at least eight years without a naming and shaming system, so if it ain't broke, why fix it?
Sex God
Its all been said, never give your names and address, until you feel comfortable with there friendship and get a swing phone to make all calls ans text's on.
We also have like a small business card with Bluefish/Lady Aldwych on, and the swing phone number, handy to just hand to some one you may like to meet again if your in a club or dogging etc :twisted:
We also have like a small business card with Bluefish/Lady Aldwych on, and the swing phone number, handy to just hand to some one you may like to meet again if your in a club or dogging etc :twisted:
We went through a period where our daughter was very ill and it was completely unpredictable. The times we had to cancel meets or attending socials was ridiculous. Most people we were meeting knew of our situation and it was always a given that it "could" happen.
Those who weren't regulars on here or didn't know us could have quite easily thought we were just timewasters so we gave up meeting people.
Can imagine the uproar if we'd been named and shamed for consistently having to pull out of meets!
Whilst you might think it's timewasting, and I agree there are some who do and some who give odd excuses, but if you genuinely don't know the people then you can't be sure that something bigger isn't happening in their lives.
Those who weren't regulars on here or didn't know us could have quite easily thought we were just timewasters so we gave up meeting people.
Can imagine the uproar if we'd been named and shamed for consistently having to pull out of meets!
Whilst you might think it's timewasting, and I agree there are some who do and some who give odd excuses, but if you genuinely don't know the people then you can't be sure that something bigger isn't happening in their lives.
Sex God
Alan, I think the one thing everyone always has to remember is that meeting random strangers off the internet is inherently fraught with danger. A let down for a single blokes is bad enough, but hey, shit happens. Noone died. It can be properly dangerous for single women though, just for example. The site could go all out to hold your hand, and offer you the illusion that members have been rigorously screened in some way. Indeed, to some extent, they have already gone down that road with Verification. Thing is, if you rely on what a website has to say about so-and-so is this, or so-and-so is that, and actually put store in that, I wonder if that in some way leads to a false sense of security, and perhaps as a consequence you don't devote the time and effort you should put into developing your own methods as far as effectively screening people properly goes yourself?
The only way to adequately protect yourself is by learning how to screen people all by yourself. Take time, talk to people, go to munches, meet them socially, whatever, whatever works for you. Put in place measures that allow you to go out and meet people safe in the knowledge that they are what they say they are, as opposed to relying on what random strangers on the internets have told you about other random strangers on a website. No matter what the website puts in place for you, allows, or disallows, IMO there's no other way to do it.
N x x x ;)
The only way to adequately protect yourself is by learning how to screen people all by yourself. Take time, talk to people, go to munches, meet them socially, whatever, whatever works for you. Put in place measures that allow you to go out and meet people safe in the knowledge that they are what they say they are, as opposed to relying on what random strangers on the internets have told you about other random strangers on a website. No matter what the website puts in place for you, allows, or disallows, IMO there's no other way to do it.
N x x x ;)
Sex God
thought we did neil
