Need help and advice guys

1 Apr 2005

I've yet to meet a shy teacher, to be honest. You have a kind of persona for the children, though. Even whilst training, there's an awful lot of people you have to meet and communicate with and I'd say that one of the prerequisites of a teacher is to be outgoing. Just my observation/opinion though.

1 Apr 2005

mainly i teach kids aged 14-17 from difficult backgrounds, though sometimes i do teach adults. its odd really, when im teaching its like im a different person, but cant seem to bring that into a social situation. its like if i know i have to teach something, then im fine, but if i have to just talk to someone, its different....

1 Apr 2005

When you say 'strange' do you mean someone new and unfamiliar or really odd?

1 Apr 2005

I feel for you , it must be a terrible problem and being a bloody conceited bastard I cant really relate to it .
What I would say is that perhaps swinging heaven isnt the perfect , or even near perfect place to discuss the solutions . I'd have to wonder what a persons motives were in coming to a swinging site to develop relationship and conversational skills . Youre obviously reasonably educated , and must be quite expressive if managed to succeed at teaching college , so perhaps the problem you have approaching women face to face stem from your attitude to the approach in the first place . Chances are if you feel swinging heaven is a good place to ask for advice , then you have a very strong mental connection with the women you approach , and sex . Sure theres nothing wrong with that , but if you are setting your stall out expecting the public in general to have similar attitudes to casual meetings as the folk that are posting here , then youre way off base . The girls you approach may very well sense that you have an all too obvious ulterior motive , either that or your seeing them as merely two dimensional sex opportunities is showing through .
I hope your drinks evening is successful , as much as I hope this isnt a cynical way to get a sympathetic feminine ear or two .
Peace

1 Apr 2005

duncanlondon - when i say strange i simply mean ,someone I've not met before. I don't mean someone thats completely odd smile

silk+big g - no, its not an attempt to get sympathy. i've no use for that. maybe this isnt the best place to ask for advice, but i figured with the amount of men + women interacting on a daily basis that someone must have some ideas. and its true, quite a few people who've replied to this thread have had good ideas (edinbughchris is an excellent example).
i think the best idea is to go out on sat nite, enjoy myself and simply see if i can get into a few conversations with people. im not going to try and pull, just talk to someone. i'll see how i get on and take it from there

1 Apr 2005

:-) Well then good luck with it . Hope it all goes well , and real life is where the solution lies so there is where you'll find it . I wasn't suggesting sympathy was what you might be after cool

1 Apr 2005

Okay. And does the problem arise when you are approached by the woman or introduced to them?

1 Apr 2005

the problem is i am neither approached by women or introduced to them! therefore i am left with doing the approaching, and thats what i need to learn how to do

1 Apr 2005

There has been good advice given with some of the responses. I don't expect any of the guys to suggest there is a technique to meeting women. So we won't be doing that kind of thing.
However it is worth recognising which social group you are best suited to. Most social groups have a baseline of normalised behaviour. As long as you understand this and behave with respect to it you stand a good chance of meeting men and women.

2 Apr 2005

Quote by n64play
mainly i teach kids aged 14-17 from difficult backgrounds, though sometimes i do teach adults. its odd really, when im teaching its like im a different person, but cant seem to bring that into a social situation. its like if i know i have to teach something, then im fine, but if i have to just talk to someone, its different....

I know exactly what you mean about being one sort of person at work, & another sort socially. I would curl up & die rather than walk in to a pub or club, & chat someone up. Being on a site like this gets rid of the initial problem for me, as when I meet someone at a Munch I already have something in common with them.

2 Apr 2005

Quote by HungryP
mainly i teach kids aged 14-17 from difficult backgrounds, though sometimes i do teach adults. its odd really, when im teaching its like im a different person, but cant seem to bring that into a social situation. its like if i know i have to teach something, then im fine, but if i have to just talk to someone, its different....

I know exactly what you mean about being one sort of person at work, & another sort socially. I would curl up & die rather than walk in to a pub or club, & chat someone up. Being on a site like this gets rid of the initial problem for me, as when I meet someone at a Munch I already have something in common with them.
I can see up to a point, what N64 means about having a different persona at work (don't we all, up to a point, whatever our job?) but in teaching and in training to be a teacher, we have to deal with a great many people (adults and children) and confidence is a big part of that. If you haven't got it, you simply won't survive as a trainee or when qualified. The kids and their parents, as well as other staff and adults associated with school, would soon pick up on any lack of confidence and no teacher could survive. I'm thinking that it would be particularly difficult with 14-17 year olds if you didn't have confidence and presence.
You've told the forum in the past that you used to be on the swinging scene in Dundee before you and girlfriend split. You've also said that you have arranged a meet with intention of indulging in some role play and asked for advice as to what type of role play, if my memory serves me correctly. You have arranged meets, some of which have been no shows. So you obviously are capable of having conversations, aren't you? You've also started a thread enquiring about women/horniness round the time of their period and how you could use this to your advantage...it would take lots of confidence to use that to your advantage, as you'd have to ask them a pretty base kind of question. The kind of posts you have made, don't suggest that you lack confidence, until you began this thread.
confused

2 Apr 2005

If you are teaching 14-17 year olds you have to have balls of steel and razor sharp communication skills in order to just not get eaten alive.
lol

That's why I chose primary! biggrin

Although some of them can be just as bad. Once they smell fear, they've got you in thier jaws and your ass is dust.
Gem. x - toddles off in a very bad mood to finish her planning for next term. sad

2 Apr 2005

Gem what year group you got? Give me a yell if I can help. biggrin

3 Apr 2005

Well everyone, I have some good news to report! I went out last nite as planned, and saw a really old school friend from primary school, and went over to chat to her. was talking to old friend for about 10/15 mins when i mentioned i was going to NZ. she said her friend (susanne) had just got back from a yr away there, and called her over. spent about 20 mins speaking to susanne, asked for her no, and got it! I'm pretty chuffed. Going to give her a call today and ask for out for coffee biggrin

3 Apr 2005

As a follow up to the last post - i called her today and left a voicemail message. this was at 3pm. its now midnight and no call back from her. am i being paranoid that shes not going to call, or am i just really impatient? smile

4 Apr 2005

Quote by n64play
As a follow up to the last post - i called her today and left a voicemail message. this was at 3pm. its now midnight and no call back from her. am i being paranoid that shes not going to call, or am i just really impatient?

I think you've answered your own question there. Next? Eat lunch at approximately 12 noon, dinner at about 6pm, watch a bit of telly, go to bed. Wake up, do the things that normal people do (interact with others) - you don't need people on here to tell you what to do next for every step of your life. We don't really need to know everything that happens to you either.