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New Labour to Ban Sex!!!

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New Labour to ban Sex
After much consultation the government has decided to introduce an outright ban on sex after it was discovered and categorically proven that sex could in some cases lead to birth.
Further study has shown that alarmingly birth has a 100% mortality rate.
A government spokesman has stated that how can they allow this carnage to continue when it's now a proven fact that everyone who is born will die.
As well as the unprecedented death rate, there are also the incidental risks along the way that some of those born may suffer needlessly. These include, being the victim of crime, being abused, suffering a virtually unlimited range of other illnesses and diseases and countless other potential tragedies.
Apart from the suffering the above may cause they also put an unnecessary burden on health and other public resources.
The government has spent billions o n researching all alternatives, and a think tank in Brussels has concluded that the only way to stop death and suffering with 100% efficiency is to attack it at source and prevent birth.
New labour spokesman for the ban on sex has announced that self gratification is the way forward for a death free world and is presently applying for a tax increase to allow the state provision of pornographic magazines to assist in it's national education programme. He states, that:"we as a government are a committed bunch of w*nk*rs and will encourage you to become w*nk*rs as well."
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
Pure class !
Lots of love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX
This is almost too true to be funny lol
(warwick tired and shagged out and desperately fed up of pc Britain)
Quote by warwick
This is almost too true to be funny lol
(warwick tired and shagged out and desperately fed up of pc Britain)

Is that because of all your wanking?
Not allowed Marms havent been through the government approved wankers sheme or filed a risk assesment or registered for hazardous waste handling or filled out the HSE forms or got a contract wank passport
Ypu cant just go around pleasing yourself these days FFS lol
I wonder if John Presscot has anything to do with it as the scene in Hull seems to
be either very quiet or banned confused
J
Quote by packard69
I wonder if John Presscot has anything to do with it as the scene in Hull seems to
be either very quiet or banned confused
J

Yeah... they are issuing photos of him naked as part of the scheme to stop people feeling horny lol
The disgraced, optically challenged, former Home Secretary, David Blunkett, has been put in charge of the new “no naughtiness” task force.
“we plan to operate a phase out period, with a view to removing oral pleasure by 2008 and an entire ban on nookie by  A party pooper for the government said today.
Boris Johnson has already raised the opposition with his
''We will shag them in the beaches' speech.
Quote by xxdevil69
New Labour to ban Sex

Well, they've already banned brains, or is that only within the party itself?
i wonder if tony blair knows there was a sex tax way back in something like the 16th century dunno .the wankers taxed everything that moves maybe a sex tax is on the cards next :wanker:
Quote by xxdevil69
scheme to stop people feeling horny lol

I recently changed my name by Deed Poll to 'Horny' in an attempt to get more experience of being 'felt', I'd heard so many individuals saying they were 'feeling horny' I thought this would be a good way to get a bit more action wink
Trust the Government to ruin my fun just as I started my new life :shock:
SA Horny
XXX
Quote by zootle
New Labour to ban Sex

Well, they've already banned brains, or is that only within the party itself?
I think thats only a small cell working independently in secret wink
Horny SA
XXX