Hi!
Probably a major re-post so apols in advance - pls direct to well worn thread if available?
We'd like to visit somewhere like a pub/club where can have pretty much a normal evening, meet some new people, flirt and possibly it could lead to something more adventurous, possibly not.
Any advice from other new to scenes/regulars?
Sparks.
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newbie cpl - should just get out more...?
: Just go for it!
:happy:
There's plenty of clubs that are like a 'pub' set up once you get in. Really relaxing - you forget after a few mins that you're in a 'swinger' environment and you just chat and socialise, flirt, relax, have fun. Anything more usually comes later in the evening. I don't know Middlesex, but if you click on the Swinging Heaven 'Clubs' section you can have a look at the ones near you, and maybe read the reviews.
Phoning up the club often gets you to speak to someone who can allay any worries, answer any questions, and reassure you in a friendly way (the big bit is walking in - it's reasonably easypeasy after that). If you like the vibe you get over the phone, you're more likely to actually go (especially important if you have to travel any distance).
It's possible in an ordinary pub/club (happened to me once) but you've no control over the situation and anything could happen really. Generally speaking, clubs manage to iron out the scary bits!
:happy:
Munches are kinda nice too <hugs>, especially if you want the chance to discover that swingers are normal nice people(!), but remember you then have the hurdle of 'going further' to still to come (if you'll excuse the pun).
:P
Some clubs are run less like a bar and more like a normal nightclub but with lots of swingers in evidence. Xtasia in Bham is prob the biggest and most people stay dressed or partly dressed for the large part of the evening and on the dancefloor. (Having said that Xtasia is not exactly typical in size or the large number of house rules.)
Some are very posh, some are just down to earth - you take your pick. Some are very laid back, some are more in your face or include fetish dungeons and things (which you don't have to use - you may prefer socialising in, say, the snooker room if there is one, or the jacuzzi or sauna or just the bar lounge or video room).
Personally I think if you take the plunge to a club where you get changed as you go in (towels & sexy underwear) then hang out and socialise at the bar or wherever, you've got all your main inhibitions over with quickly, and can feel relaxed and feel free to take things further or not, as the mood takes you, or depending how well you 'click' with folk there that night. Sometimes they call these clubs 'sauna clubs' to distinguish them from the fully-dressed set-up, but there's usually a bar the same, often a dance floor, and all the same facilities as the other clubs.
I've rattled on enough anyway - chill out on the Forum here, PM me or other peeps on here if you want to talk stuff over, or do whatever feels comfortable - by and large you're in a good crowd.
If you do get anyone who's a bit over the top or pushy and doesn't make you feel comfy, probably they are out of their depth - just leave them be - the experienced swingers will usually give you that nice feeling of social protection and let you develop things in your time, your way.
Now I'm worried whether to press the 'submit' button and post this in case I come over as a know all or teaching you to suck eggs - just ignore me if I am! I'm not that experienced - can only tell you what I've done / experiences where I've been.
Good luck - Be safe, Be yourself, and Enjoy! xxx
:happy:
There's plenty of clubs that are like a 'pub' set up once you get in. Really relaxing - you forget after a few mins that you're in a 'swinger' environment and you just chat and socialise, flirt, relax, have fun. Anything more usually comes later in the evening. I don't know Middlesex, but if you click on the Swinging Heaven 'Clubs' section you can have a look at the ones near you, and maybe read the reviews.
Phoning up the club often gets you to speak to someone who can allay any worries, answer any questions, and reassure you in a friendly way (the big bit is walking in - it's reasonably easypeasy after that). If you like the vibe you get over the phone, you're more likely to actually go (especially important if you have to travel any distance).
It's possible in an ordinary pub/club (happened to me once) but you've no control over the situation and anything could happen really. Generally speaking, clubs manage to iron out the scary bits!
:happy:
Munches are kinda nice too <hugs>, especially if you want the chance to discover that swingers are normal nice people(!), but remember you then have the hurdle of 'going further' to still to come (if you'll excuse the pun).
:P
Some clubs are run less like a bar and more like a normal nightclub but with lots of swingers in evidence. Xtasia in Bham is prob the biggest and most people stay dressed or partly dressed for the large part of the evening and on the dancefloor. (Having said that Xtasia is not exactly typical in size or the large number of house rules.)
Some are very posh, some are just down to earth - you take your pick. Some are very laid back, some are more in your face or include fetish dungeons and things (which you don't have to use - you may prefer socialising in, say, the snooker room if there is one, or the jacuzzi or sauna or just the bar lounge or video room).
Personally I think if you take the plunge to a club where you get changed as you go in (towels & sexy underwear) then hang out and socialise at the bar or wherever, you've got all your main inhibitions over with quickly, and can feel relaxed and feel free to take things further or not, as the mood takes you, or depending how well you 'click' with folk there that night. Sometimes they call these clubs 'sauna clubs' to distinguish them from the fully-dressed set-up, but there's usually a bar the same, often a dance floor, and all the same facilities as the other clubs.
I've rattled on enough anyway - chill out on the Forum here, PM me or other peeps on here if you want to talk stuff over, or do whatever feels comfortable - by and large you're in a good crowd.
If you do get anyone who's a bit over the top or pushy and doesn't make you feel comfy, probably they are out of their depth - just leave them be - the experienced swingers will usually give you that nice feeling of social protection and let you develop things in your time, your way.
Now I'm worried whether to press the 'submit' button and post this in case I come over as a know all or teaching you to suck eggs - just ignore me if I am! I'm not that experienced - can only tell you what I've done / experiences where I've been.
Good luck - Be safe, Be yourself, and Enjoy! xxx
Wow, thanks for the helpful and respectful replies. Much appreciated. Not sure we're ready for the strip off and double g&Ts right yet tho!'
This seems like a good bunch of people here one the whole so will follow advice, hang out here and see what happens!
The club reviews all seem to end about mid last year - any reason other than the obvious? The private parties however, well again, not sure we're ready just yet.
Incidently this site came up as #1 when searching for info on channel 5's Swingers programme that was on last night. Read the thread (http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/18649.html) and its interesting to read some of the truth beind the scenes and scene.
Cheers,
arky of Sparky.
This seems like a good bunch of people here one the whole so will follow advice, hang out here and see what happens!
The club reviews all seem to end about mid last year - any reason other than the obvious? The private parties however, well again, not sure we're ready just yet.
Incidently this site came up as #1 when searching for info on channel 5's Swingers programme that was on last night. Read the thread (http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/18649.html) and its interesting to read some of the truth beind the scenes and scene.
Cheers,
arky of Sparky.
Quote by steve-shireen
Another option is to stick around a while and get yourselves knoiwn on the forums and then get yourselves invited to a Munch..
Its a no hassle party in a friendly atmosphere where u can get to know other likeminded folk and generally have a good time..
:
Hey guys. Welcome to SH. A Munch is a get together in an open environment. It isn't the sort of party you are thinking of
Well worth going to one if you can. I did when I was pretty new and not sure of myself, and I have to say it was the best thing I did!
Sex God
Hi
I'm sure you'll find just what you're looking for here, and without coming under any pressure from anyone.
You should definitely get yourselves to a munch. The very worst that can happen is that you'll make some new friends.
Good luck and looking forward to seeing your contributions in the forum. :cheers:
:)
I'm sure you'll find just what you're looking for here, and without coming under any pressure from anyone.
You should definitely get yourselves to a munch. The very worst that can happen is that you'll make some new friends.
Good luck and looking forward to seeing your contributions in the forum. :cheers:
:) 
Sex God
hiya sparkycpl,
nothing i can add at all, except :welcome: to SH!
just keep posting on the cafe, and get to a munch. been a great starting point for lots of us.
have fun.
neil x x x ;)
nothing i can add at all, except :welcome: to SH!
just keep posting on the cafe, and get to a munch. been a great starting point for lots of us.
have fun.
neil x x x ;)
