Hope someone will be able to give us some ideas.
To start of some history (sorry could be a bit long). My husband and i are new to swinging. We have been to two clubs and enjoyed it a lot. We had some touching with others but not slept with anyone.
When leaving one of the clubs, we were approached by a couple and they asked if we fancied contacting them to arrange a meet. We thought that they looked nice and so we contacted them. We spoke at length on msn and also seen them on cam. We all seemed to get on, so we met again at a club but whilst there, me and her husband seemed to click instantly but we only flirted heavily at that point. But my husband and the other woman seemed not to be attracted to eachother as such. Neither of them seemed make great advances to eachother. Actually she seemed to be quite reserved and holding on to her bloke whilst we were all chatting. My husband thought she was not interested at all, so backed off. We all left the club and nothing had happened. So we assuemed that thats it. They seemed really nice but somehow reserved,at least the other woman.
Next day on msn they contacted us again and thanked us for the nice evening. We told them that we thought that she was not interested in playing but she said that was not the case and that she thought my husband was not intersted both said they found the other attractive. It seems that me and her bloke are getting on great but my hubby and her there is limited chemistry.
Should we just forget about it or did we do anything wrong? They would like to meet again, which is fine but i am tired of chatting about something that might never happen. Hope this makes sense and sorry for being so long. (Feel a bit stupid now to be honest). bye pheline x
no need to feel stupid at all.... I can't offer you any advice, except perhaps to always go with what you feel happiest with, no need to put pressure on any situation or potential meet. but there I am giving potential advice...>sorry about that<
Just wanted to say *hi* & welcome to the forums... nice post... stick around and enjoy the forums why doncha?
lp
thanx to both of you for the advice.
Yes we probably meet them again and see what happens. We all do get on great. They are very similar to us in many ways.
It seems just to have become more complicated then hubby and i thought it would be. It seemed to be so much easier to go to a club and see what happens and if nothing happend fine just the same because we enjoyed eachother. But with this new situation its different because we chatted so much, maybe too much about the suject of what is wanted expected and liked that i seem to be loosing interest. They have had somemore swinging experience and full swap but seem still very cautious, which we understand but takes a bit the pleasure away really when one is reminded constantly of the boundaries.
Please tell me if i am wrong?
Pheline x
Hi there,
Well for us it took a while too, but when things happened we all knew it was right no hesitation no guilt and no bad feeling.. our advice is more or less as you have read but you will know 100% when its right.. If things are just 'gone along with' it may well cause you all problems later down the line..
Maybe if things feel right invite them out have a drink again away from a club.. maybe then invite them home. See if theres more of a spark there without the pressure of the club maybe!
Have fun.. it really can be xxx
Mike and Julie xx
Thanks to everyone that has replied and also to the one's who took an interest. This was my first proper post and i am really pleased with the advice given. Thanks a lot. And i keep you posted how it went if you like. bye for now pheline x
Thank you Lost and after such a welcoming it wont certainly be our last post and thats a promise!!!
i am very, very reluctant to advise on this! obviously i'm gonna have a stab at it tho . . .
you seem to have discovered the complications involved in 4sums . . . i.e. all 4 of you need to fancy all 4 of you? it ain't gonna work if you ain't all there. that's a good lesson to learn. ;)
you clearly have reservations, cos you're asking for advice? thing is, our advice is only relevant to ourselves, in any given situation, based on past experience. if you're not sure, how can we even begin to advise ya? the one thing i'd say is an absolute, hard and fast rule, is stick with boundaries. set them for yourselves, and don't try to modify them in line with what this couple want. please yourselves, cos it's better to hold yourselves back this time, than it is to dive in headlong and work it all out afterwards. you can't take it back once you've done it. be sure you can respect yourself and your partner the next morning! ;)
it's perfectly normal to have reservations! if you're unsure, just don't go there quite yet? talk to your partner, try and work it out first, then make a decision? talk some more between yaselves, and with this couple, so you're 100% sure. much easier to hold back a bit than it is trying to get your heads round what went on, with the potential for days / weeks / even months of recrimination after the fact.
as for the couple you're talking about, trust me, even allegedly hardcore types can wobble! ;) if they are seemingly not in the same place as you two, well, you ain't gonna get a square peg in a round hole! you might fit in time, but i think you need to take a step back, and wait and see if you can find a few pegs that just might fit. maybe it will be them, maybe you need to move on . . .
best of luck.
n x x x ;)
Sorry, I do not like to do this as this is 1 thing that annoys me in a sensible, interesting and to the person (s)important post who is looking for feedback but.....
Neil, I know Gem is a bit kinky, but pegs! I didn't have her down as top of my domesticated list :twisted:
Chris x
i KNOW i KNOW). It may well be the attraction is there but both your husband and her are bouncing of each other's signals which may purely be shyness or nervousness if new to the scene.
