Hello Peeps,
We've just joined SH, admittedly at a bad time with Xmas and all. But we are rather surprised to find that there are so many people on the site who have barely filled in any information about themselves, and then expect to become a Friend. It's as if just existing were enough.
I'm also rather nonplussed by the number of people who seem to want people with our profile type to contact them, yet when we do, no reply is forthcoming. If nothing else its bad manners not to acknowledge, even with a polite 'no thanks'
Can anybody tell me if this is par for the course, or is it just a bad time we have chosen to join?
It's a bit dispiriting as we are totally new to the scene and hoped there may be some 'espirit du corps' about the place.
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Newbie woes
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I can only answer for myself .... i used to have a reasonably well filled out profile but still got endless emails, chat and whispers from people who clearly hadn't read my profile and who then got all mardy when i told them they weren't what i was looking for, they sometimes then got even more mardy and often abusive when i suggested they read profiles first. So i took most the info off as it was clearly pointless putting it there 
As for answering emails ... i usually did answer them but if the reply isn't to the liking of the emailer i then often got abusive emails so often i don't bother to reply
As i said already, this is only my experience.
Good luck xx
As for answering emails ... i usually did answer them but if the reply isn't to the liking of the emailer i then often got abusive emails so often i don't bother to reply
As i said already, this is only my experience.
Good luck xx
other slight problem you may find...is that a great number of members can't actually reply !! You can become a member of the site.....but unless you pay and become a full member, you can't reply to mail !! there is no way of knowing if someone is a full member or not.
Shrep is useful also thou....you can see who has decent comments....quite often you know these sort of people will at least reply. Also look out for the socials and get along and meet everyone....stick with it and I'm sure you will find what you want from the site.
Shrep is useful also thou....you can see who has decent comments....quite often you know these sort of people will at least reply. Also look out for the socials and get along and meet everyone....stick with it and I'm sure you will find what you want from the site.
Sex God
Sorry to say it but your experience is pretty much on par.
Sex God
Quote by jandotherj
Hello Peeps,
We've just joined SH, admittedly at a bad time with Xmas and all. But we are rather surprised to find that there are so many people on the site who have barely filled in any information about themselves, and then expect to become a Friend. It's as if just existing were enough.
I think most genuine people on here would agree with the above, if fact on our profile we make reference to it, asking people to have some info on their profile before contacting us.
Quote by jandotherj
I'm also rather nonplussed by the number of people who seem to want people with our profile type to contact them, yet when we do, no reply is forthcoming. If nothing else its bad manners not to acknowledge, even with a polite 'no thanks'
Can anybody tell me if this is par for the course, or is it just a bad time we have chosen to join?
This can be a few reasons, maybe they have not logged in for a while hence they have not read your message, maybe their circumstances have changed and now don't look for the same as they did. It is annoying when you go to the effort of finding a profile which looks like a good match, write the messgae then hear...............nothing, but it happens to all of us !!
Quote by jandotherj
It's a bit dispiriting as we are totally new to the scene and hoped there may be some 'espirit du corps' about the place.
There is a "espirit du corps" within the genuine people on here, but you've got to get to know people either at clubs, or socials, there is no magic door marked "genuine swingers this way please", but there are some great people on here, just stick with it for a while.
John & Shel
Quote by Geordiecpl2001
There is a "espirit du corps" within the genuine people on here, but you've got to get to know people either at clubs, or socials, there is no magic door marked "genuine swingers this way please", but there are some great people on here, just stick with it for a while.
John & Shel
Wise words.
Warming the Bed
I agree with all that's been said above, I always check shrep, I know some people hide it, but it works for me!
Socials are probably the best way to meet people, but so is chatting in a room, not just whispering individuals, I rarely answer a whisper!
I have also blocked all friends requests and winks just because they are so irritating.
Like you I have no idea why they want me as a friend when we've never had a conversation.
Persevere there are great people on here, but like life, you have to take the rough with the smooth so to speak.
Have fun!
xx
Socials are probably the best way to meet people, but so is chatting in a room, not just whispering individuals, I rarely answer a whisper!
I have also blocked all friends requests and winks just because they are so irritating.
Like you I have no idea why they want me as a friend when we've never had a conversation.
Persevere there are great people on here, but like life, you have to take the rough with the smooth so to speak.
Have fun!
xx
Many thanks for all your wise words, everybody.
Oddly, within two hours of putting my 'moan' up, we had one and a half meets organised. Bit like busses really!
Peerhaps somebody can tell me how to block certain types of individuals and actions. So for example is it possible to stop single males contacting us, or people from asking to be friends when there has been no contact? If the site architecture won't allow that, I would like to suggest it would be a popular feature.
J&J
Oddly, within two hours of putting my 'moan' up, we had one and a half meets organised. Bit like busses really!
Peerhaps somebody can tell me how to block certain types of individuals and actions. So for example is it possible to stop single males contacting us, or people from asking to be friends when there has been no contact? If the site architecture won't allow that, I would like to suggest it would be a popular feature.
J&J
Many thanks for all your wise words, everybody.
Oddly, within two hours of putting my 'moan' up, we had one and a half meets organised. Bit like busses really!
Peerhaps somebody can tell me how to block certain types of individuals and actions. So for example is it possible to stop single males contacting us, or people from asking to be friends when there has been no contact? If the site architecture won't allow that, I would like to suggest it would be a popular feature.
J&J
Oddly, within two hours of putting my 'moan' up, we had one and a half meets organised. Bit like busses really!
Peerhaps somebody can tell me how to block certain types of individuals and actions. So for example is it possible to stop single males contacting us, or people from asking to be friends when there has been no contact? If the site architecture won't allow that, I would like to suggest it would be a popular feature.
J&J
Sex God
Click settings from the left hand menu, then the privacy tab. On the right hand side of the page there is a check box system to block certain account types from messaging you.
However there is no way to stop the friends requests :sad:
However there is no way to stop the friends requests :sad:
Warming the Bed
You can stop the notifications about friends requests!
the requests then just go into
'friends request folder' which I never look at!
So am no longer bothered by them.
Not quite blocked, but not an irritating problem !
the requests then just go into
'friends request folder' which I never look at!
So am no longer bothered by them.
Not quite blocked, but not an irritating problem !
Sex God
Quote by deancannock
other slight problem you may find...is that a great number of members can't actually reply !! You can become a member of the site.....but unless you pay and become a full member, you can't reply to mail !! there is no way of knowing if someone is a full member or not.
We changed it a little today and now everyone will be able to reply to messages, this ability will be limited to 3 per day for non-premium members, our plan is to let it run like this for a month and see how it goes.
Sex God
Quote by st3v3
other slight problem you may find...is that a great number of members can't actually reply !! You can become a member of the site.....but unless you pay and become a full member, you can't reply to mail !! there is no way of knowing if someone is a full member or not.
We changed it a little today and now everyone will be able to reply to messages, this ability will be limited to 3 per day for non-premium members, our plan is to let it run like this for a month and see how it goes.
St3v3,
great idea and perhaps a note to those profile types after 2 weeks so that you can compare take up 1st 2 weeks with 2nd 2 weeks in this months 'trial' might be a useful excercise in seeing how it goes.
Sex God
Take ups important and we monitor all sorts of statistics, but this change should be better for existing members as well, now nobody has to worry about sending a pm to someone and them not being able to answer it if they're non-premium.
