Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login

newbies - help!

last reply
13 replies
738 views
1 watcher
0 likes
Hi,
We are a couple in our thirties who have long fantasied about swinging. To start us of we have made contact with a couple of guys and exchanged emails and photos.
Problem is F is worried about discretion etc and nervous about taking it further.
We have been keeping these poor guys stringing along for some time and I am wondering if we will ever get there.
F says she wants to walk before she can run.
Any advice?
Anyone that is worth meeting, while understand that F is unsure of where her footing is and will give her the time she needs to get on solid ground. If they aren't prepared to give her that time........ its their loss not yours there will be plenty more that come along that will give her the time she needs.
Just listen to F!
Don't do anythinguntil you are both 100% certain.
Maybe both come on here and get to know people on here - come along to socials. This should help you both feel more comfortable.
As for the blokes - be honest with them!
Just my 2 pennerth
Quote by sleazy
Anyone that is worth meeting, while understand that F is unsure of where her footing is and will give her the time she needs to get on solid ground. If they aren't prepared to give her that time........ its their loss not yours there will be plenty more that come along that will give her the time she needs.

totally agree :thumbup: :thumbup:
i would go to a club first........... you don't have to do anything there but it will give you experience
also if you have a meet with some one....... make sure its in a public place first and make it just a social rolleyes
couldnt agree more only do something when your absolutely sure or else you will not enjoy it. Caz would agree that i,m very shy, so much so that in about almost a year later ive only been involved in a threesome with partner and mate.
One day i will bottle enough guts to take it further.
It will just take time.... Your time!
all the best
if you need any other advice drop us a line
steve and Caz
xxx
Quote by Alexandra
Just listen to F!
Don't do anything until you are both 100% certain.
<Snip>
As for the blokes - be honest with them!

Have to agree wholeheartedly with everyones comments here and especially Alex on both counts.
Not creeping Alex - just thought your points to be spot on ( no pun intended lol ). Be honest with all concerned - like everyone has said on here - if they are genuine, they will understand and give F the time needed to reach a decision, which ever way that may go.
Personally - I exchanged emails for quiet a few months before me and my swinging partner finally came to the conclusion that we did want to meet. Even then we met a couple of times for a few drinks before even attempting to get in the bedroom. In the end, it was excellent and well worth the wait.
i suppose it depends about how she is worried about discression...
if she is worried people will talk about it where you live......meet swingers from somewhere else.
if she is worried about the neighbour seeing.........go to a club
if she is worried about the evidence getting out......dont take photos
as with alot of people on here we have to be discreet for various reasons, but there are lots of ways round it where people dont have to know who you are, even though they have met you.
Apart from being completely honest with the guys about it.i would suggest you meet them,emphasise that it will be purely on a social basis just getting to know them and see if theres any might help F decide one way or taking your time can never be a bad thing wink
I agree with the above, meet the guys on your own and be honest with them about her concerns. If you do decide to go further, maybe meet them in a hotel to enhance discretion. I've met complete newbies, and the key is the social element above all else, and then whatever happens will happen as a natural result.
Best of luck,
Ash xx
.
Quote by anaisdelta
We have been keeping these poor guys stringing along for some time and I am wondering if we will ever get there.
F says she wants to walk before she can run.
Any advice?

I agree with the others who advise you to be honest and tell these two guys why you're delaying making any arrangements. They should understand and appreciate your reasons. If either of them turn stroppy, you'll know that they weren't suitable anyway! Good luck.
Guys,
A million thanks for the excellent advice.
I have replied to guys and made it clear what stage we are at and thanked them for their patience.
As fare as clubs are concerned, I dont think there are any nearby - we are west coast of scotland?
get yourself down to the good old north west, only 2/3 hours drive and you and pick and choose clubs.
im sure some of our scottish members would point you in the right direction for clubs up there.