OK I’ve been looking into this internet swinging gig for about 6 weeks now. I welcome the comments of the more experienced and I thought some feedback may help others.
Firstly (for the single guys out there trying to break in) my response ratio when I reply to ads from Women seeking Men is about 5% (except when I cock it up and reply to a woman seeking woman ad, ‘cos then I always get a snotty reply, sorry my fault for getting over excited and not reading properly).
YES 5%…..we should all know by now that the ladies who post get inundated with replies, it’s a fact of life (and sex) and I genuinely appreciate their predicament. If they replied to everyone who mailed them they would have no time for sex at all.
Included in that 5% are the timewasters (send me a pic of your cock). WHY???? Reply, phone me, or meet me, and you can see (and have) the real thing !!! I’m sorry I just don’t get the “cock pic collector” thing.
Once a dialogue is started (by this I mean a couple of email exchanges at least) I’ve had the trail go cold…..if I’ve said something to upset someone or fallen short of expectations, then surely a “thanks but no thanks” email is not too much to expect (I’ve had one and it was fine)… I’m a big boy, I can take it
I’ve also had mails from women who saw my ad and have approached me. I’ve replied but had nothing back……so what’s that all about.
But it’s not all negative (and I really don’t want it to come across as that ‘cos I intend to stick around and make it work, I believe there are genuine people out there) I currently have one phone number which I will be using in a week or so…..if it comes to fruition, trust me ladies and gents, you will be the first to know
I think a lot of what I’ve said and feel just comes down to good manners and politeness. I’ve always prided myself on mine and currently work in an industry where it is paramount, but I will be interested to hear the views of others
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Not a whinge - honestly - a discussion and debate
Sex God
Nice one, Becks - that was honest, and certainly not a whinge! I think you've got the hang of this ad replying thing now, and surely success can't be that far off 
. I've no time for pic collectors either, I still get loads of requests for pics even though I'm not actually advertising for private meets, and it is dead annoying 
. I've no time for pic collectors either, I still get loads of requests for pics even though I'm not actually advertising for private meets, and it is dead annoying 
Warming the Bed
Hi Beckers
5% sounds about right, I'd say - but that means a 1 in 20 "success rate". How long will it take to reply to 20 ads? Compare that with the time spent on other (perhaps more conventional) methods of finding a partner. Yes, there are timewasters, just as there are girls who'll let you buy them drinks all night, then split. All part of the fun, and in my opinion that makes it all the more exciting when you finally do succeed.
Geoff
5% sounds about right, I'd say - but that means a 1 in 20 "success rate". How long will it take to reply to 20 ads? Compare that with the time spent on other (perhaps more conventional) methods of finding a partner. Yes, there are timewasters, just as there are girls who'll let you buy them drinks all night, then split. All part of the fun, and in my opinion that makes it all the more exciting when you finally do succeed.
Geoff
Hi Becks, honest and frank post mate, not a whinge, Linda and I are genuine pic collectors but collectors that do meet up with guys.
Linda loves to sit at the pc and pleasure herself when she is alone, she likes to have pix purely because she likes to see what she would be enjoying should we meet up with the guy in question.
Linda and I love the build up, dirty e-mail, the pix, phone call and then the eventual meet, its just the way we like to do it mate and it works for us.
I must admit that some people must ask for pix and never get back to you, we try to reply to all that write to us.
Have fun mate and we hope you get what you want.
ps, if you were not so far we would arrange a meet with you, we would insist on a cock pic first though :twisted: , had to put that in didnt we,
.
cheers, Mark and Linda
Linda loves to sit at the pc and pleasure herself when she is alone, she likes to have pix purely because she likes to see what she would be enjoying should we meet up with the guy in question.
Linda and I love the build up, dirty e-mail, the pix, phone call and then the eventual meet, its just the way we like to do it mate and it works for us.
I must admit that some people must ask for pix and never get back to you, we try to reply to all that write to us.
Have fun mate and we hope you get what you want.
ps, if you were not so far we would arrange a meet with you, we would insist on a cock pic first though :twisted: , had to put that in didnt we,
.cheers, Mark and Linda
Hi Beckers
Really well put!
Being a single chap and very new to it all too, I have had pretty much the same experience but from reading the advice and comments on here from people like Heather and Mark & Linda, I can see it all from the point of view of a woman or couple.
I think basically that just being honest and genuine is the best policy, especially if that is the kind of person you would want to meet up with.
I personally would only want to meet someone I clicked with on a personal level anyway so I suppose it doesn't really matter that many people ignore replies as hopefully only the ones I click with do so, if you get what I mean (not sure I do)
I'm not too fussed when I don't get any kind of reply, as I understand that the women or couples who advretise get hundreds of messages. I do get a bit miffed though when I strike up a dialogue with someone and we are getting along fine and then, one day, they just stop writing. I agree, we are big boys, we can take it. Just because it is email and pretty anonymous, it doesn't stop it being a bit rude.
Anyway, good post and keep us updated on your progress.
Take care
Rich
Really well put!
Being a single chap and very new to it all too, I have had pretty much the same experience but from reading the advice and comments on here from people like Heather and Mark & Linda, I can see it all from the point of view of a woman or couple.
I think basically that just being honest and genuine is the best policy, especially if that is the kind of person you would want to meet up with.
I personally would only want to meet someone I clicked with on a personal level anyway so I suppose it doesn't really matter that many people ignore replies as hopefully only the ones I click with do so, if you get what I mean (not sure I do)
I'm not too fussed when I don't get any kind of reply, as I understand that the women or couples who advretise get hundreds of messages. I do get a bit miffed though when I strike up a dialogue with someone and we are getting along fine and then, one day, they just stop writing. I agree, we are big boys, we can take it. Just because it is email and pretty anonymous, it doesn't stop it being a bit rude.
Anyway, good post and keep us updated on your progress.
Take care
Rich
absolutely agree with you, particulalry the last paragraph. it is rude, even a "I dont like your photo" reply would be fine.
and while I'm on this particular soap box, sometning that reallly annoys me, (doesnt seem to happen on here tho) is people who cant post up their email addresses properly.
I reckon I get about 50% of mail bounced back from approaches made on other sites
and while I'm on this particular soap box, sometning that reallly annoys me, (doesnt seem to happen on here tho) is people who cant post up their email addresses properly.
I reckon I get about 50% of mail bounced back from approaches made on other sites
Mod
Hi guys
I have found a very similar response rate, but from fewer contacts. it IS all a numbers game, as anyone in marketing will tell you. The more ads you respond to, the greater chance you have of it moving forward to the result you are looking for. I'm sure the more genuine people in the group do take notice of how you conduct yourself in the forums, whether you make an active contribution, or whether you post once and expect everyone to be queueing up to shag you! Nice thought, but I don't think so - unless I can be proved wrong?
I have found similar results when I go dogging, but the very first time I went I struck lucky. I managed to be at a site where a show took place and was asked to participate! :twisted: Great! But it doesn't happen everytime. I currently go daytime dogging to several sites in Lancs and have a strike rate of 1 show in 3 visits, which I find good odds. If I relied on one post saying 'dogging today, fancy a shag?' my strike rate would be a lot less, if not non-existent! Being yourself, being honest, being amusing, are all aspects that folk are looking for. If you are like that, then everything else will surely follow, so keep persevering!
Mal
PS. I have heard having a big willy helps as well!
I have found a very similar response rate, but from fewer contacts. it IS all a numbers game, as anyone in marketing will tell you. The more ads you respond to, the greater chance you have of it moving forward to the result you are looking for. I'm sure the more genuine people in the group do take notice of how you conduct yourself in the forums, whether you make an active contribution, or whether you post once and expect everyone to be queueing up to shag you! Nice thought, but I don't think so - unless I can be proved wrong?
I have found similar results when I go dogging, but the very first time I went I struck lucky. I managed to be at a site where a show took place and was asked to participate! :twisted: Great! But it doesn't happen everytime. I currently go daytime dogging to several sites in Lancs and have a strike rate of 1 show in 3 visits, which I find good odds. If I relied on one post saying 'dogging today, fancy a shag?' my strike rate would be a lot less, if not non-existent! Being yourself, being honest, being amusing, are all aspects that folk are looking for. If you are like that, then everything else will surely follow, so keep persevering!
Mal
PS. I have heard having a big willy helps as well!
I reckon I get about 50% of mail bounced back from approaches made on other sites
May be simple reason for that Becks,
There is an explanation somewhere about privacy software that will automatically bounce back an e-mail with the response "this e-mail address does not exist".
May also be another explanation. When I first joined the site, I setup an e-mail account that I could delete if things got a bit out of hand, or I changed my mind. Perhaps a number of those that bounce back are people who dipped their toe, discovered they had made a huge mistake, and did a runner without tidying up.
Or,
remember our first reply to you Becks? "come and meet us all in the cafe". As a new couple, we lack experience, or perhaps confidence in our own judgement. In the cafe, people watch out for each other.
We do invite people to respond to our pictures, because we like to hear that people have viewed them and enjoyed them, it does encourage us to put more on the site. So we may be sending conflicting messages out. That should clear up as we gain experience. For the record Beckers, your e-mail approach to us was the right way to do it.
I think basically that just being honest and genuine is the best policy, especially if that is the kind of person you would want to meet up with
It is, but please remember, just because you like them, and you are being honest, genuine, polite, and doing everything the right way. does not mean that you are right for them.
There are many reasons why you do not get replies, some are timewasters, others may have had a house fire, been arrested, suffered an illness, accidently wiped their hard disk, or had their computer nicked. Or they may just not trust you enough to take no for an answer.
Life is a rich tapestry and all that, if everything fitted into nice neat little boxes, it would not be nearly as much fun! Enjoy the variety.
lhk
Kat
Thanks for that Kat. There is definately a common theme among the posts on this thread.
I accept that there are a number of genuine reasons for email bouncing (to put your address on a contact site, and then block non address book listed mails seems a bit odd)
Some of the trails that have gone cold on me are ones that have been initiated by women in reponse to my ads tho' which seems strange, unless I've come across as a real weirdo (yes guys, they do respond to our ads occaisionally)
But the numbers game thing is correct....
I accept that there are a number of genuine reasons for email bouncing (to put your address on a contact site, and then block non address book listed mails seems a bit odd)
Some of the trails that have gone cold on me are ones that have been initiated by women in reponse to my ads tho' which seems strange, unless I've come across as a real weirdo (yes guys, they do respond to our ads occaisionally)
But the numbers game thing is correct....
hi guys, hope everyone is well?
i too have had the same experiences with contacts, where the other party has contacted me through my ads, (but no meets as yet :cry
why can't people who initiate contact either through email or phone just make one more contact just to say no, doesn't cost anything for an email, and maybe 25p for a text!
i have had conversations by phone with three or four possables, they have then said i will call the next day to arrange something, then nothing!
i understand people look for a certain type of person they would like to play with, but if you're not that person then why not say so! as it keeps being mentioned, we are adults, we should be able to take knockbacks, personally i would like to know what it is about me they don't like, there must be something about my ads, that catches their eye, otherwise why call.
i don't mean this to sound like it's a moan, it isn't, but i find it difficult to explain thing in type, i would rather talk 1-1.
this all may be off subject, and for that i do appologise, but today i thought do something with your time, seeing as though no-one is available........lol, but i will carry on, but because of my personal restrictions, i know it will take time, but please people don't waste it!!!! :)
be happy
be lucky
be carefull
paul xxxxxxx
p.s if anyone would like to look at my ads and tell me were i am going wrong, i would welcome any comments and/or recommendations, my ad numbers are :- 16494
14124
9025
hope to hear what you think!
i too have had the same experiences with contacts, where the other party has contacted me through my ads, (but no meets as yet :cry
why can't people who initiate contact either through email or phone just make one more contact just to say no, doesn't cost anything for an email, and maybe 25p for a text! i have had conversations by phone with three or four possables, they have then said i will call the next day to arrange something, then nothing!
i understand people look for a certain type of person they would like to play with, but if you're not that person then why not say so! as it keeps being mentioned, we are adults, we should be able to take knockbacks, personally i would like to know what it is about me they don't like, there must be something about my ads, that catches their eye, otherwise why call.
i don't mean this to sound like it's a moan, it isn't, but i find it difficult to explain thing in type, i would rather talk 1-1.
this all may be off subject, and for that i do appologise, but today i thought do something with your time, seeing as though no-one is available........lol, but i will carry on, but because of my personal restrictions, i know it will take time, but please people don't waste it!!!! :)
be happy
be lucky
be carefull
paul xxxxxxx
p.s if anyone would like to look at my ads and tell me were i am going wrong, i would welcome any comments and/or recommendations, my ad numbers are :- 16494
14124
9025
hope to hear what you think!
