I recently broke up with my partner and, needless to say, I am broken-hearted. I have been without attention for a looooong time and I am eager to feel alive again. However, I am not sure what is the best thing to do:
a) just have sex with random guys in order to satisfy my sexual needs without caring to do the whole meet and let's get to know each other first, or
b) wait till I find someone who's on the same wave length with me and wants the intimacy, too
Has anyone found themselves in the same situation and how did you deal with it? I realise there are no right and wrong answers and I am probably going to be laughed at for asking advice in the forum, but maybe something someone has to say will get me thinking and make it easier for me to plan a way forward.
Hi Tania, I hope you soon feel happy with life again, and welcome to the forum.
The standard advice offered to those looking to "dabble" is this. You catch a train to Brighton and spend a weekend with skinny. After that things can only get better :silly:
LOL Skinny, you made me laugh. Your response was so unpredictable.
PS: thanks for the welcome to the forum but I am an old hand as you can see by my post count ;)
hi Tania
I was in similar situation. My initial reason for joining was that I missed the physical contact and social company of a man and I did try the random meet initially but found it lacking. I then started meeting people more regularly exploring my boundaries etc and with more social contact too but then found feelings developed and it didn't always work out well.
I thought I had found someone who was on the same wave length and even left SH for a while but we were obviously poles apart so I guess its difficult with either option but I think whilst emotionally vulnerable I would just be careful hun whatever you choose to do.
Good luck hun xx
Tis a tricky one. There is no reason why u can't do both? Play the field have some safe fun to give u some relief. Mean time maybe you could try find a soulmate the traditional way. Whatever that is ? Love is an odd thing usually happens when u least expect it. . Good luck and hope it all works out.
I agree with all of you. I remembered that I had done the random sex thing a long time ago, just to prove to an ex and myself that I was still desirable. It wasn't fulfilling as I was always left at the end with my loneliness. Don't know how this memory resurfaced, or how it was buried in the first place.
I realise that it's important to give myself time and let things happen when they happen. It's a pity people don't meet up in my neck of the woods. I had once been to a Munch in Enfield and met some nice people. Wonder where everyone is and whether they are still swinging...
Thank you for caring enough to respond. :-)
Hi I am new to this but was touched by your honesty and just wanted to wish you well sure there are lots of guys out there wished they knew you hope you find them. take care have fun.
I think that the ultimate decision should come down to you. You should be free to do what you like when you like, but at the moment I'm guessing your emotions are still a little raw and therefore jumping headlong into an emotion charged atmosphere may not be best.
What I'm trying to say is that only you know how you feel inside. Don't pigeon hole yourself and keep your options open. Just go with the flow.
Can't find anyone worthwhile. Most people who write to me (and there are a lot of people who write!) want the novelty of doing an extra fat female. Then there are those who write with demand lists about what I'll wear and what I'll do. It is so annihilating! The rest are guys with live in girlfriends or wives who like to play outside their relationship without the woman knowing it. Can't believe they expect me to fall into their arms like a ripe fruit falls from a tree! It used to be that people were interested in the social aspect of swinging, too. It seems gone now. What do you guys think?
Hi Tania,
I've played alone when single and it can feel a bit soul destroying, I'd really recommend the chatrooms, and socials when you're feeling braver.
Anyone who makes you feel lessened or cheapens you is not worth your time and effort, I hope you come out of this ok, I think option A for now, but maybe just make some friends for a while first.
Good Luck
Kitty
Tania
from the way you word your post I would suggest that you stay away from the 'randoms' and hold out for "The One". Randoms are rarely satisfying. However if you can find a bloke who can scratch your itch without becoming too emotional then maybe that might be a solution in the meantime - although you women do sometimes have a problem with that.
A bugger to find and a nightmare along the way, but well worth it in the end.
As well as the resources on this site try doing things you have never done before. For shits and giggles this year I have started to learn how to play the Banjo and gave salsa dancing a go - the latter was a big surprise. For a bloke who happily goes out for a quick 5km run
Hi Garry
Wish I could do the things you do but I am physically limited in my options. But apart from that, what do you mean we women have a problem with finding a bloke who can scratch our itch and getting emotional?
I used to have a FB, a highly educated and intelligent bloke and our relationship was quite loose, we did talk to each other about our adventures, we met up socially and did stuff together (so it was not just sex), we even argued a few times and felt exasperated with each other's ways (for example, he used to bring food and drink in his rucksack when he visited which made me feel as if he was implying he didn't get enough food and drink here LOL) He was very idiosyncratic and that was fine as he was not a boyfriend or husband so I didn't feel burdened by such details.
Maybe this is the way things should happen in this life... people forming associations without burdening each other, just light fun and no pressure.
What do you think?
