Thanks for you ideas and suggestions.....i am no where near ready to give up yet and will try some of the things you suggest.
Trigg
posting in the main cafe is a good start, i never would have taken a look see at your profile otherwise.
now if i was slim and lived closer i woudl have considered some light banter and flirting and maybe even a pm.
the profile is lovely, sorry lovely sounds wet. its a good profile and nice pics, although i like the body shot i dont like the urinals in the background.
i dont know what advice i can give, but ensure you fit someones expectations before messaging them, hang out in a chat room, banter around the forums, that sif you like teh social side.
there are different types on here, some who never use chat rooms or the forums and will hunt out the ads and profiles when they are seeking asingle male, they may then see how active they are on teh site to get a rounded feel for who they are and good forum posts may help?
i know i will be shot down in flames, but i have found alot of teh single ladies are um larger, so that will rule out alot of ladies who will see your profile and message you, alot of the others wont cosider them selves slim even if they are lol so again might not message you. but dont change that cause if slim is what you are attracted to dont settle for something else as the spark wont be there and it will be picked up on.
and the introduce forum, well i think its pants, i refuse to go in there. i think it alinates (sp) more newbies than welcomes them, as the regulers get tired of constantly saying hello,so stop doing it. much better just to have a hello thread in the cafe forum in my opinion.
good luck,
xx fem xx
As with all things in life Trigg, the good things take time to achieve.
As stated in previous replies to your thread the site has a number of ways available to achieve your goal. Posting in the forum, the Chatrooms, replying to the adds etc. each has its own fan-base. Some of us even use all of them! :smile2:
After looking at your profile, check out the Surrey or Southcoast rooms usually on Chat1, they're usually a good bunch of people. Join in with the 'general banter' and make connections. It's a good idea not to enter a room and post "look at me wanking on cam" it a turn-off for nearly everyone including the males! or the'classic - who's looking for a shag?'. If that's your approach join a room that more closely suits eg Wankers on Cam. For most rooms the 'normal rules of conversation' apply - say hi, follow the chat threads and join in when you feel comfortable..
Check out the Events section for socials / parties etc or the Lets Meet forum and get yourself along to a few socials and get yourself known as 'genuine' and as a 'contributor' to the scene.
Create an ad(s) for the different sections that appeal in the Photo Ads and update them regularly - the trick here is to keep your ad(s) on the 1st couple of pages that people search. If you don't your ad will slip down the pages.
Look at the Club page and see which are local to you - there are monthly SH events held at both Abfabs / Eurekas and Hellfire which are all fairly close to you.
If you are looking for a particular 'fettish' then look in the Groups for groups of likeminded SH people.
Search the 'profiles' for people in your local area that meet the criteria you're loooking for - read their profile carefully and formulate an individual reply that aligns you to what they are looking for.
Above all - it takes TIME and EFFORT, the more you put in the more you'll get out...
Give up, save your subscription fee and spend it in a knocking shop
Hey.....
Thank you all for your comments.....i will take some of your advice and change what seems to be the obvious.....like the photos......which have been changed already.
I will be patient...after all i have paid for a year and a refund seems unlikely.......so will grit my teeth and keep trying all the things that you suggest until i get noticed....
speak to you all soon
TRIGG
xxx
Help one person everyday and everyday you would have helped yourself
Hey.....
Thank you all for your comments.....i will take some of your advice and change what seems to be the obvious.....like the photos......which have been changed already.
I will be patient...after all i have paid for a year and a refund seems unlikely.......so will grit my teeth and keep trying all the things that you suggest until i get noticed....
speak to you all soon
TRIGG
xxx
Help one person everyday and everyday you would have helped yourself
Hello,
Well, as a few people have said - we're just massively on the wrong end of the numbers. It probably will be that way on every swinging site you ever go on.
If I'm honest, I always found it immensely difficult to meet people, or even to get replies. That's just the way it is. In all probability you'll find it extremely difficult. I have met a few people though. One of the best people I've met off any site came as a result of getting involved in random conversations on this site - I think if people get to see enough of your personality to decide they like it, it kind of shortcuts the process a lot. You have an advantage over many in that you can obviously write and think. This is good. As one straight man to another, you're also decent looking (for myself I would feel reserved about putting my face pic on my public profile, but good luck to you).
Having been on the other end of the numbers (I was, for one glorious year in the sun, on here as part of a couple, with, although it pains me to admit it, a very hot ex) - it's surprisingly actually not that much easier to meet the people you're looking for. Here's how it goes from the other end: you put up an ad for single guys and within days you've received maybe a hundred replies; you then spend a couple of days sifting through those and the 50 more you get during the time it takes you to go through the first hundred, dismissing anyone who looks like a psycho or who has only posted a cock shot or who lives too far away* or who the lady knows she won't feel attracted to. Whittle it down to twenty or so, about half of whom will rule themselves out by either not replying to your reply or making some kind of nonsense response. You'll arrange meets with maybe ten guys, over a few weeks; three of them will cancel or not turn up, or try to reschedule, which is difficult, because your social schedule is pretty full now trying to meet all the guys who are still positives. You'll have three meets. You'll probably decide you're not attracted to one guy, and one guy seems a bit weird, like he might be a serial killer or something, and you don't feel that good inviting him into your house to fuck your girlfriend, anyway. So you'll end up meeting the one guy who had decent pictures of himself, you came across like a decent human being, who turned up when he said he was going to and looked like his pictures when he did. And you'll probably have fun, woohoo!
That's the way it worked - out of about two or three hundred replies we got over the course of a year, we actually met and fucked one single guy (and probably two or three couples, and people we met at swinging clubs). For quite a large amount of effort. Yeah - there were a couple of occasions where we went through that whole cycle and then at the end of it it didn't work out at all. Which gets a bit disheartening.
So when playing as a single guy (I'm not playing, currently), you have to be aware that anyone you're writing to is getting a hundred emails, mainly from twats. You have to make sure you get onto the shortlist, then you're in with a chance.
I would say (as someone else did) remove anything from your profile that looks like a whinge. Yes the numbers are against you - they always will be, and in all honesty you probably knew that would be the case before you paid your money. So get over it and get stuck in. There will probably be a munch in your area within about six months, although to be honest if it's a shag your looking for (this being a swinging site and all) that's not exactly the holy grail. I would also reduce the length of your profile by about half. I reckon most people won't read that much, and you don't need to say that much anyway.
And then write to more people. Reply to ads, ones that seem applicable of course. Don't be shy.
Good luck!
T
*even if they say they're willing to drive a long way to meet you, you don't really want them to because there's always a good chance than in person, you just won't be that attracted, which wouldn't be fair on them. We actually tried to keep a London list, so that if we went down for a weekend we could try to meet one or more of the guys who'd replied from there. Didn't work.
Christ, I write too much.
think I'll leave it there actually. :giggle:
