Old memories

5 Sep 2010

Having recently joined the site.....prompted by discussions I'd had with a member re: my introduction into the scene several decades ago and subsequent corruption(s).......Wellllll.....I LIKE to fantasise!! wink

.........I'm looking for anyone else who feels able to comment on the differences today and in the seventies ( Or am I the ONLY one with that good a memory?? :sad: )
Since I've been out of the scene for a long time ( Do I HAVE to admit how long? :sad: )......for a whole variety of reasons.....including, but not limited, to a long term partnership ........I don't, yet, feel qualified to pass judgement on the current scene.......though there are obvious differences in organisation, technology, etc.
But what I'm REALLY interested in is the people themselves.......their tolerance, open mindedness,willingness to experiment, the social aspects ( or otherwise )......and, of course, willingness to observe safe play. Has any.....or all.....of this changed since my initial forrays into hedonism???.....if so.......in what ways???
I can willingly give some insight into my own experiences back then .....but , ideally, would like comments from people who CAN compare the two periods......or....failing that......comments from current players to compare with my own recollections.
To be fair......I should point out that I was extremely lucky in how I became involved in the first place in that I was 'taken under the wing' of a slightly older couple who seemed to view it as their responsibility to educate me in my voyage ........NOT the usual route for a young man in those days......which often meant many months, even years, of fruitless attempts to become involved in the first place......and certainly saved me some embarrassment......and a whole lot more!!
Any comments will be perved on......errrr.....I mean .....gratefully received!!!
Thanks
Chris

5 Sep 2010

Hi, not entirely sure what you want us to discuss, but for the most part, I find people who use the site to be an open-minded bunch. There are definite pros and cons to the all-pervasive use of technology, however I tend to think that as long as I am getting out there and actually participating in the kinky stuff, then it's all good! wink

Welcome to the site and forums.
Nola x

5 Sep 2010

its difficult to define specific differences between each generation, because your own age at each point throws up different opportunities.
now that you are middle aged you have the credentials for showing the youngsters the ropes.

5 Sep 2010

Think I get what you mean.
The main difference I see now from the 70's. Well for a start divorce rate now compared to the 70's is way up and the marriage rate way down. So I am guessing you will now get a lot of people who are in it more for multi sexual partner experimentation rather than what was traditionally known as swinging (Will stop there with that point as I dont want to do the whole what is and what is not swinging debate for the 52nd time). For the same reasons as above you also get a lot more second relationship swingers who are free every weekend due to the kids going to the ex's.
As for attitudes I cant really comment as in the 70's I was not available to be in the scene as I was busy shitting my nappy and then later attending school. Dunno if there was any hang on in hte 70's form the Hippy peace and love scene which may have been a bit different but I think in general attitudes would be pretty much the same dunno

5 Sep 2010

Hi mate welcome to the forums.
The people here......
a mixed bunch like any community. These days I think swingers come from any and all walks of life and span the spectrum of the social scale. It could be a young lad working on a building site, a lady who is a physiotherapist, etc, etc ad infinitum.
You find different types of people on different areaqs of the site, I find that the most tolerant, open minded and friendly lot are here on the forums. Generally I have found in my 5 years here people are mostly tolerant (depending on the stupidity/absurdity of the post), up for a laugh and take the piss a little (in a friendly way for the majority).
Like anywhere that you get a collection of people together, there is the good, the bad and the.....really stupid and annoying, those that have a village looking for it's idiot!
If someone annoys or offends you, you will find some that don't, what I think I'm trying to say is that this is a "community" and like any community it has it's popular people, the try hards, the outsiders and the lurkers. Jump in enjoy it and don't take it too seriously, at the end of the day you can always log off and come back another time, you don't have to live with us lol.
For my part im, open minded, interested mainly in the forums, and tolerant other than to those that come on here without their partners knowledge. Swinging is a lifestyle these days, a part of the person's life that they choose, but I think choosing to do it openly is the way forward. Again that is just MY opinion. Good Luck, and enjoy.

5 Sep 2010

i think the basics are all there in different mixes. like today if you want to do something slightly hippy or hedonistic you go to Ibiza.

5 Sep 2010

I am tolerant and open minded.
Also to be honest a bit too left wing for this forum, but hey I try.
Welcome to the forum btw, and do not believe what anyone says about me....I am a big pussy cat........miow.

5 Sep 2010

Umm.......Thanks to all the above.........s'nice to have some prompt replies!!
Few responses
Tweeky......Much as I'd love to comment on your suggestion that there's more people involved on the 'multi partner' scene now........I can't!!! ( S'cuse me while I go into a DEEEEEEP depression!!.....DAMN!!.....err)......But you might've been surprised at the numbers back then who were after that element.......just took a LOT more organising.........which is ONE very definite difference!! But Thanks for the observation re: second relationships........that's a valid point and something I hadn't really considered.........And you're, probably, right that there was some 'hang on' from the Hippy era ( NO SKITTING!!!.......we were beautiful people!!......'Least we thought so!! wink

)......but - again - you might've been surprised at the number of middle aged people involved. Your comment on defing swinging was just as valid in the 70's.....AND as passionate.......with lots of views as to which was correct........never HAVE really understood that!!!.....Why ARE labels so important to some people???.......Back then it took quite some time for me to find some true pan-sexuals who just accepted what they were and didn't care about labels!!!.....seems like SOME things don't change!! :sad:
Duncan....You on a percentage for anyone extending their membership???......the prospect of me 'educating' all those young unblemished characters DOES appeal!!!....If nothing else it'll give me a use for the chalk and mortarboard lol!!...but I've gotta admit.......I'm seriously considering a trip to Ibiza......If I can find me knotted hankie n sandals!!! lol

Nola......Thanks for the welcome!!...I purposely DIDN'T want to comment too much myself initially.....'cos I was hoping to get some thoughtful responsesthat were UNtainted by my personal views and/or bias - but I've already noticed a few differences.....both from these responses and other contacts.......or, maybe, I've fallen victim to some of those villageless idiots Sme mentioned!!! lol......But I certainly don't WANT to argue with your philosophy........And who, in their right mind, would!
Sme......I appreciate your comments on the differences in attitudes on the different parts of the site......not something i'd have picked up on for some time!!....and it's nice to know there ARE people with a sense of humour.......they made need that if I stick around too long :lol:
Kentsswingers......Again....thanks for the welcome....I LOVE moggies!!!! ..... particularly on a buttie with ketchup!!!! ( pussies on the other hand........NO ketchup!! :twisted: )....Left wing????......well comrade......Let me know when you have MI5 knocking at the door!!!!......Loooooonnnnnngggg story!!! ( not nice! )
All....Thanks for giving me somethings to consider.....2 points I'd like to make.
1. The most obvious difference to me is that....in the 70's...there was a LOT of necessary, slow, communication to actually get to know someone and arrange a meet.....which - in turn - gave plenty of chance to consider the implications of what was happening. Does the 'immediate' connections available now lead to more regretable encounters.....or even go some way to explaing the timewasters??? Does it have any impact at all??
2. Back then......again through necessity to some degree, there was a pretty strong friendship element to things. It was needed 'cos it took so long to make suitable connections......but had it's own advantages and complications too!!....While it's obvious that some people here are friends.......does the fact that it's not SO needed through the use of technology....that new friends are readily available....have any impact on your activities/ability to enjoy your adventures??? Does it add - or subtract - anything??
3. (Never COULD count!!lol ).I had it drummed into me as a newbie just what was expected OF me and what I should expect in return to ensure personal safety.....but I've already been made aware of 2 instances where people weren't taking those issues seriously recently!!! I find that very worrying on a personal level......but are they ABnormal ....or has there been a seed change in thinking that I'm not aware of?? The details are private but reflect on non use of condoms and personal safety!!
Anyway.....droned on ( AGAIN!! ).....Thanks for listening!! ( wake up at the back!!)
Chris

6 Sep 2010

Actually the best deal would be Hedonism, which is a package tour in the Caribbean, catering for the more mature client.
in addition the 'sex/love' tours for aging women in Africa are popular.
Which seems to indicate that if you have a disposable income you can go further afield to apply your skills. Whereas back when you were younger you could only see and reach what was in or around your home location.
what has developed is the quantity of outlets and the variety which they cater for. so there's a commercial aspect which is more so than former times.
None of which is really needed as the basic principles of swinging are age old; and require little more than a couple who are motivated and can inspire in other people the spirit of sexual adventure.

6 Sep 2010

Hi and welcome to the forums. Others have covered many of your interesting questions, and Srne's answer in particular is a fine response.
Might I add a word of advice? Don't go on so much about being old. There are plenty of members on here who are older than you (including me) and most do not go on about age. I meet members of all ages on here, as many others do, and age does not loom as large in many people's minds here as you might think. The user name you have chosen is distinctly unflattering, and might not help you. Maybe it's ironic, I don't know.
I might think of more later, but for now, good luck.

6 Sep 2010

Quote by duncanlondon
Actually the best deal would be Hedonism, which is a package tour in the Caribbean, catering for the more mature client.
in addition the 'sex/love' tours for aging women in Africa are popular.
Which seems to indicate that if you have a disposable income you can go further afield to apply your skills. Whereas back when you were younger you could only see and reach what was in or around your home location.
what has developed is the quantity of outlets and the variety which they cater for. so there's a commercial aspect which is more so than former times.
None of which is really needed as the basic principles of swinging are age old; and require little more than a couple who are motivated and can inspire in other people the spirit of sexual adventure.

Watched a programme on TV some years back about Hedonism. Having previously read about it it seemed a good idea until watching it seemed to show it was full of rather loud Americans and other loud and annoying people. Think they would just annoy me know end sad

Anyone been and experienced different?

6 Sep 2010

Hiya,
What can I say about my introduction to swinging - first it just about qualifies as being in the 70's - I was a very young begginner and for the first 8/9 months of my involvement I had absolutely no idea that what I was doing was swinging - I just thought that I was a totally Jammy bugger getting regular sex when most of my contemparies couldn't so much as get the bra off their own partner.
I had been befriended by a couple and the lady introduced me to "infidelity" although I had no idea her hubby knew all about it - then she introduced to her friend and so on till I was judged discreet enough to be invited to a party when the truth actually dawned on me as I engaged in sex with a multitude of partners whilst being applauded and copied by other hubbys or invitees. A truly mindblowing event.
And so I had no need of contact mags and can offer no insight to there operation apart from passing on the frustration of a number of my fellow swingers at the slow and cumbersome nature of the encounters that did/didn't result from the use of these little pocket books.
What I can say is that safe sex was rare during the late 70's although very quickly became the norm after 1980 (the AID's leaflet explosion - remember the iceberg?)
There is no doubt that the internet has greatly expanded the horizons and opportunities available to those who wish to indulge in the lifestyle, making it easier to establish some kind of rapport with potential playmates before meeting - but equally there is no doubt that it has also made it easier for the wannabees and desperados to spoil that rapport with their unrealistic asperations when they become involved via a site such as this.
So we of the 'genuine' lifelstyle must suffer the idiots in order to make contacts - sad but true - but we do gain an ease of communication and (that awful business phrase) 'networking' that must make the swingers of the 70's green with envy.
All in all I believe there to be a lot more swingers actvely engaged in the lifestyle now than was ever the case in the 70's - and the blame/praise for that goes fair and square to the internet.
Vive la choice
Vive le internet
Vive SH

6 Sep 2010

We only having been involved with swinging via the internet, can we ask how the pre-internet stuff worked?
How did swingers find each other?
Was it a letter with a photo enclosed to make a date for a social meeting, then someone booking a hotel room for a later date? Presumably there were no swingers clubs in the 70s?
John & Shel

6 Sep 2010

Quote by Geordiecpl2001
We only having been involved with swinging via the internet, can we ask how the pre-internet stuff worked?
How did swingers find each other?
Was it a letter with a photo enclosed to make a date for a social meeting, then someone booking a hotel room for a later date? Presumably there were no swingers clubs in the 70s?
John & Shel

Allegedly, these people do wink

6 Sep 2010

Quote by Geordiecpl2001
We only having been involved with swinging via the internet, can we ask how the pre-internet stuff worked?
How did swingers find each other?
Was it a letter with a photo enclosed to make a date for a social meeting, then someone booking a hotel room for a later date? Presumably there were no swingers clubs in the 70s?
John & Shel

In the 1980s there were contact mags with classified ads, where you replied by letter to a box number - you would include your phone number (and some included photos), and from then on arrangements would be made between people by phone. From the late 1980s there was the classified ads paper Loot (in the London area where I lived anyway) which used voicemail replies - again people usually replied and gave a phone number. You usually ended up meeting without exchanging photos beforehand, which is very different from now! All the meets I had were at their place or mine, there were not all the Travelodges and Premier Inns there are now, so hotels were not so common or so cheap. There were a few swinging clubs from about 1992 onwards - I knew one or two people who went to them, but they were run very discreetly, usually connected to a night club or restaurant. Hope this helps.

6 Sep 2010

Thanks for the comments.......Seems like we're getting a cross section of experiences......and.....for me at least......that was what i was hoping for.
1. KaznKev and LaffnChilli
Phew!!!...Thanks!.....Was beginning to wonder if I WAS the only one remebering things in that light!!!
Laffs comments in particular seem remarkably similar to my own introduction .........You didn't frequent the Warrington area in those days did you????.....I'm seriously wondering if MY couple were serial seducers of young innocents like myself!! ( Dont laff!!!!....I WAS!!!.....That's the wrong fantasy to stick in MY brain!!lol )
2. MikeNorth and Duncanlondon
My appologies!!.....My sense of humour leaves a little to be desired sometimes.......and can be a little confusing 'til you know me.
Don't take the age thing TOO seriously......It's only when I'm forced to see it that my age even crosses my mind!1......Usually - in there - I'm an eternal 20 something!!......then some shit cries out 'Oi!! Slaphead!!' and destroys it for 5 minutes lol.
Honestly......If I stick around long enough .......you'll see how self depricating my humour can be.......But I'm not here on some bizarre mission to influence other peoples views on ageism......or anything else for that matter!!!.Not, yet, sure I will stay......but .....if my choice of username seems unflattering - or puts people off.....What the hell!!!.....It'll say more about the views of the people avoiding me than anything........Not something I'm likely to see as a great loss!!!.....But thanks for the thought!!
Much as I wish I DID have the disposable income you suggest.......I still can't see me at Hedonism somehow.....2 reasons.....YANKS!!!( appologies to anyone who is......just never met one I've liked! )....and sunburn!!!!!......Ooops!!.....Who's prejudices are showing!! :sad:
Once again.....Thanks for the comments!!!.....All helping to build a picture!!
Chris