* I don't know if this really happened or not as I saw it on a different forum but I laughed so hard at it I just had to share *
Kitty xxx
:scared: :scared::scared::scared:
All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy,
painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the
wax.
My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home fix dinner,
played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my
mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the wax out of the medicine
cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one
of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the
strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart
press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off. No muss,
no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I'm no girly, girl but I am
mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out. *YA THINK!!!*
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair dryer
and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh how this phrase haunts
me!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and
pull.
OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-ra, fighter of all wayward body
hair and smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids I sneak
back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop
my panties and place one foot on the toilet.
Using the same procedure I apply the was strip across the right side of
bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to
the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and
brace myself. RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of the
strip. S&%T!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP. Everything is swirly and
spotted. Do I hear crashing drums??? OK, back to normal. I want to see
my trophy - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt, that has caused me so
much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph
over body hair. I hold up the strip!
There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair. WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot
still perched on the toilet. I see the hair..The hair that should be on
the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S&%T I run my fingers over the most
sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted
hair.
Then I make the next BIG mistake...................remember my foot is
still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do something. So I put my
foot down. ######!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed
shut. Butt?? Sealed shut. I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to
figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the
urge to poop. My head may pop off" Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll
run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered
bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than then that used to
torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse that
having your nether businesses glued together is having them glued
together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In scalding hot
water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to
the bottom of the tub!! God bless the man that convinced me I should have a
phone in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret of
how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and
who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She
doesn't have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located on bottom "Are we talking cheeks or hole or what?" She's laughing out loud
by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the
number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's
night.
While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with
a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in
hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry
shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity
has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut land. My friend is still
talking with me and my hand reaches towards the saving grace....the lotion
they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at
this point. I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke
the kids, scared the dickens out of my friend, but I really don't care. "IT
WORKS!! It works!! I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she
hangs up.
I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my
grief and despair..................................THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......................ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
So I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point.
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OMG - Hair removal probs
Sex God
OMG that just proves the point to read the packaging / instructions first 
but if you want to pop over....I'll run my epilator over you :twisted:
Sex God
Quote by Kitty
I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.
Now maybe I am missing the point of this story but I did pick up on this!
Obviously this is a single lady, as the toilet was clean enough for her to be able to put her foot on it
Sexpert
I was thinking of waxing .... don't think I'll bother now 
Sex God
Now I know why ive just paid £15 for a girlie to wax my nether regions! It does hurt a bit, but i kinda like it 
Well I do until i get in the car to drive home and find that the excess bits of wax have stuck to my knickers and with every move, im ooooooing and aaaaaaing all the way home 
Well I do until i get in the car to drive home and find that the excess bits of wax have stuck to my knickers and with every move, im ooooooing and aaaaaaing all the way home 
Warming the Bed
:lol: Thanks ever so much I needed a laugh like that.... Hi guys and girls,
I have tried waxing my nether regions but found it too bloody painfull and prefer to shave very very carefully.
I didnt know that you could use veet in such an intimate area. I feel sorry for us girls having to wax shave bleach and every other thing that we have to do to keep beautifu.
the few times that i have waxed I 've let my husband do it and he feels so sorry for me that he cant do it more than three strips.
A good tip for anyone who actually does want to use that wax is lots and lots of talcam powder and trim first. but it still bloody kills.l
lisamarie
I have tried waxing my nether regions but found it too bloody painfull and prefer to shave very very carefully.
I didnt know that you could use veet in such an intimate area. I feel sorry for us girls having to wax shave bleach and every other thing that we have to do to keep beautifu.
the few times that i have waxed I 've let my husband do it and he feels so sorry for me that he cant do it more than three strips.
A good tip for anyone who actually does want to use that wax is lots and lots of talcam powder and trim first. but it still bloody kills.l
lisamarie
Sex God
Waxing is not good :shock: :shock:
Shaving for me thanks
Kitty lol lol lol
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Shaving for me thanks
Kitty lol lol lol
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: 
Orgasminator
My wife, gawd bless her, has whiled away many a winter evening trying to talk me into letting her wax my 'bits', a subject which i have always fought against very hard.
Having read through this thread i have only one comment to make.........
MY MAMA DIDN"T RAISE NO FOOLS !!!!!
very entertaining though and thak you for the smiles and laughter
Having read through this thread i have only one comment to make.........
MY MAMA DIDN"T RAISE NO FOOLS !!!!!
very entertaining though and thak you for the smiles and laughter
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.
Now maybe I am missing the point of this story but I did pick up on this!
Obviously this is a single lady, as the toilet was clean enough for her to be able to put her foot on it
:laughabove: good point :thumbup:
Thanks for the laugh Kitty. Here's one for you...that I know is true - because I was the silly arse that did it to myself.
For years my best mate had been extolling the virtues of waxing the whole lot (underarms, bikini, ass & legs). I tried getting my legs done once and thought " OH MY GOD!!! I'M GOING TO DIE" It was so painful, that I thought she was a sado for telling me that "it only stings a wee bit" !!!! (Lying cow was my second thought).
Anyway, after a few years of shaving I thought I'd try Immac(before it became Veet), so tried it on my legs first. That wasn't too bad - except that the cream hadn't lifted all of the hair so I had to shave anyway.
The next time I did my legs and my underarms. Again there was some hair left on my legs, but my underarms felt decidly sore and itchy.
The third time I had a brainwave and thought, I know, I'll do my bikini line too! What a mistake that was!! Somehow, some of the cream slid down my bikini line, right past my flower, down to my ass and started to slide down my inner thigh. I thought "thats cool, theres still some cream left where its meant to be so I'll just mop up the stuff thats on my thigh and leave the rest for the alloted time. After about 10 minutes I could feel a distinct stinging sensation and with thoughts of "God, please don't let this hurt" I jumped in the shower.
To quote Julia Roberts: "Big mistake, big, huge
I wont go into the real gory bits, so to cut a long story short - I had burned my ass and my bits with what felt like Hydrochloric Acid and vowed never, EVER to try something new again when it comes to hair removal. In future I will just stick to my good old Mach 3.
Mia
x
For years my best mate had been extolling the virtues of waxing the whole lot (underarms, bikini, ass & legs). I tried getting my legs done once and thought " OH MY GOD!!! I'M GOING TO DIE" It was so painful, that I thought she was a sado for telling me that "it only stings a wee bit" !!!! (Lying cow was my second thought).
Anyway, after a few years of shaving I thought I'd try Immac(before it became Veet), so tried it on my legs first. That wasn't too bad - except that the cream hadn't lifted all of the hair so I had to shave anyway.
The next time I did my legs and my underarms. Again there was some hair left on my legs, but my underarms felt decidly sore and itchy.
The third time I had a brainwave and thought, I know, I'll do my bikini line too! What a mistake that was!! Somehow, some of the cream slid down my bikini line, right past my flower, down to my ass and started to slide down my inner thigh. I thought "thats cool, theres still some cream left where its meant to be so I'll just mop up the stuff thats on my thigh and leave the rest for the alloted time. After about 10 minutes I could feel a distinct stinging sensation and with thoughts of "God, please don't let this hurt" I jumped in the shower.
To quote Julia Roberts: "Big mistake, big, huge
I wont go into the real gory bits, so to cut a long story short - I had burned my ass and my bits with what felt like Hydrochloric Acid and vowed never, EVER to try something new again when it comes to hair removal. In future I will just stick to my good old Mach 3.
Mia
x
Quote by Mia&Sam
Somehow, some of the cream slid down my bikini line, right past my flower, down to my ass and started to slide down my inner thigh.
Hehe. I'm sorry for having a joke at your pain, but I canna help but giggle like a bloody schoolkid flicking through the lingerie section of the Littlewoods catalogue when a woman calls it, 'Her Flower'..
:lol: 