Was amazed to find Barry is actually Beryl
Tankinky
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Sex God
That the decor had been changed from a pastel green with contrasting furnishings to vibrant purple vinyl furnishings over a crimson red deep pile carpet with most enormous 6' high lava lamp in the corner giving it all a very psychedilc glow. The only thing that looked out of place was.....
Sex God
Nice 'n' Spicy flavour Nik Naks.
Barry/Beryl, now completely naked, burst into a rendition of "Mandy" at which point Camilla just...
Barry/Beryl, now completely naked, burst into a rendition of "Mandy" at which point Camilla just...
Sex God
Uncle Fester finished his packet of Nik Naks and decided that it was time to...
Sex God
time too....
Boogie on down to the disco sounds the super sounds of the sexy seventies. Groovy man lets jive.
Camilla turned pale knowing that unless it was Hard rock she new not how to "get down" Someone at the back of the room shouted "don't worry Camiknickers just bounce around this a bit" and through a small handbag onto the floor. With aid such as this she thought "how can i fail and her hips started swaying.
Outside it was starting to snow......
Boogie on down to the disco sounds the super sounds of the sexy seventies. Groovy man lets jive.
Camilla turned pale knowing that unless it was Hard rock she new not how to "get down" Someone at the back of the room shouted "don't worry Camiknickers just bounce around this a bit" and through a small handbag onto the floor. With aid such as this she thought "how can i fail and her hips started swaying.
Outside it was starting to snow......
Sex God
The story so far...
It was a cold, wet and windy night when suddenly I opened my eyes and realised I was standing naked in the carwash, I then noticed the wind dropped and a low humming sound was heard it was a man walking an elephant He stopped and asked me if I wanted a ride It was at this point that I noticed that he didn't actually have an elephant, so we hailed a cab. Getting in, I looked at him and said Have you trumped? The end.....
Or was it? yes, it was. But then he did actually squeeze a bit more out and with a cheeky grin on his face he asked..."how did we get onto farting so soon"
Cherry has a fart fetish, she loves to eat cheap supermarket beans then lie on her back and light her farts. Discretion! Of course Yeah, how rude are you? You could at least go somewhere private for your little fart fetish
The wind whistled menacingly as she walked around the corner, bracing herself for what was to come. She was used to my foreplay line of 'Brace thee self lass'. That old yorkshire subtlely pleased her as she felt his breath as he whispered urgently in her ear. "Nay lass, there's no black pudding in't pocket - I'm just pleased to see thee!" Her eyes widened as she felt behind her and grasped him.....HARD!
At this point the whippet let out an almighty yelp and took off down the street like a thing possesed taking the gatepost with it. She lifted her skirt and said "Fuck me it is a black pudding Have you been dogging with that coal miners wife again?" when we thought her pit had been closed years ago, and does she still have that old pit donkey called dick? 'Donkey Dick'? i reply "It's a chipolata!" " I've had bigger and better than that chipolata called Donkey Dick"
She pulled me by the hand up the back alley. I knew what was going to happen My member got harder at the thought as her skirt lifted in the breeze. She had farted again..... those bloody veggie burgers are a killer. But it somehow turned me on even more and the blood was pulsing through my veins until the smell of her evacuation reached my nasal regions.... and i could do only but one thing.
I ran as fast as my legs would take me to Mrs Wongs chippy on the corner, I blurted out "69 please, Mrs Wong, sharpish"! "With egg fried rice".
But who should be stood to attention behind me, the one and only Chesney Hawkes!...astounded, I dropped to my knees in amazement and kissed his feet.
Pretending to be tying my shoelace whilst checking out the size of his lunchbox. Hmmph i thought "why has Tankinky had a crush on him for all these years"? So I took both Chesney and Mrs Wong along to the local Swing club to get naked and sauna away the smell of fish.
As we get naked who should appear but Jo brand just about to jump in the jacuzzi. M8-me thinks "that bush needs a severe pruning". and escaping leaving Jo & Mrs Wong playing with Chesney.
Poor Mrs wong wont stand a chance. Tankinky has changed her avatar to throw people of the scent of her crush on Chesney could come to her rescue? Who other than Jo Brands twin, John Sargeant! Deciding that for the sake of the others he would leave now because He'd discovered he preferred to stay backstage and perv the girls getting changed.
Meanwhile On XXX factor. Simon Cowell had told everyone that yes, after earning tens of millions of £'s it was indeed a con and the groupie stuff after was just the icing on the cake. Louis walsh didnt agree though and the pair began a brawl on live telly. Then Dannii and Cheryl joined in. Somehow some mud and foam got spread on stage and Everyone got naked, even the camera crew joined in.
The ratings were sky high. ITV have now launched the sequel called SEX Factor, it will be presented by Presented by Ant and Dek and starring Chubby brown, Leona lewis, and markz and many other celebs even MR Blobby. Each week, Celebs will perform sex acts in the style of well known people. first week is Tankinky & Lillmiss.
the judges will comment after each performance, the public will vote and if a dead heat occurs, god knows what will happen. The winner will be decided in a do-or-die, last-perv-standing cage match round of "Crinkly Bottom", MC'ed by Noel Edmonds and
The next day it was discovered that S-H forums were holding a big brother type house thing and for a forefit someone had too Pluck a chicken for dinner, only it was misheard as Fuck the chicken! TYRACER & LOST had feathers everywhere as the tried to get to grips with Maurice... the gay chicken.
What a magnificent example of a fine cock he only problem was that Maurice preferred to be ravishing a parrot which was sitting on my shoulder at the time. Poor Benrums got serious whiplash from all the sexploits on his shoulder. The only answer was to Cut off poor Benrums head which seemed a very drastic action as he only had 6" fully erect.
Meanwhile the rest of the sex shows contestants were practising their putting-condoms-on-with-mouth skills on a range of fruit, vegetables and household implements. Nola managed the cucmber and banana OK, but was having a little difficulty with the butternut squash when her fairy godmother arrived and said. "Nola, you're going to have to open wider than that!"
To which Nola replied. ""Okay then. And here's me all these years thinking the 'mouth like the Mersey Tunnel' comment was an insult!?!"
Nola's fairy godmother looked a bit surprised wondering what Nola's mouth had to do with it but then there was a sudden Bang, and into the room burst the Big Bad Troll with an enormous club, this is the troll's version of the the dr's tardis only when you open the flap in it you enter in to a swinging club. the only problem was that tonights theme was. "Dress like Sunday Dinner".
So, 45 people had turned up as a chicken but the smell of sprouts was everywhere "quick" said Tune
"press the Tardis button to get us back to last Tuesday, only way we'll get outta this stink" - but then it was in fact the beautiful aroma of Cod.
They all hopped on the train at Grimsby Docks and hightailed it out of town towards the Copa... Copa Cabana. The hottest joint north of Havana. At the Copa they fell in love.
The management of the Copa weren't prepared for a coach load of swingers, hell-bent on sexy adult play. They watched open-mouthed as the Coach pulled into the coach park and Barry Manilow was kicked out of the door in full gimp suit, held on a dog collar by none other than. Prince Charles, who called Camilla to help undress Barry.
Camilla unzipped his trousers and Was amazed to find Barry is actually Beryl her long lost lover from australia and not her long haired lover from Liverpool,
Anyway, the Three of them went into the Copa for a cuppa and entering the the sitting room, were shocked to see That the decor had been changed from a pastel green with contrasting furnishings to. Vibrant purple vinyl furnishings over a crimson red deep pile carpet ,with the most enormous 6' high lava lamp in the corner giving it all a very psychedilc glow. The only thing that looked out of place was Uncle fester sat in the corner eating Nice 'n' Spicy flavour Nik Naks .
Barry/Beryl, now completely naked together with Uncle Fester who had finished his packet of Nik Naks bothdecided that it was time to, burst into a rendition of "Mandy" at which it was rime too boogie on down to the disco sounds, the super sounds of the sexy seventies. Groovy man lets jive.
Camilla turned pale knowing that unless it was Hard rock she new not how to "get down" Someone at the back of the room shouted "don't worry Camiknickers just bounce around this a bit" and through a small handbag onto the floor. With aid such as this she thought "how can i fail and her hips started swaying.
Outside it was starting to snow All deep and crisp and even....... but it didnt stop that famous cat burglar Ginger Tom from.
It was a cold, wet and windy night when suddenly I opened my eyes and realised I was standing naked in the carwash, I then noticed the wind dropped and a low humming sound was heard it was a man walking an elephant He stopped and asked me if I wanted a ride It was at this point that I noticed that he didn't actually have an elephant, so we hailed a cab. Getting in, I looked at him and said Have you trumped? The end.....
Or was it? yes, it was. But then he did actually squeeze a bit more out and with a cheeky grin on his face he asked..."how did we get onto farting so soon"
Cherry has a fart fetish, she loves to eat cheap supermarket beans then lie on her back and light her farts. Discretion! Of course Yeah, how rude are you? You could at least go somewhere private for your little fart fetish
The wind whistled menacingly as she walked around the corner, bracing herself for what was to come. She was used to my foreplay line of 'Brace thee self lass'. That old yorkshire subtlely pleased her as she felt his breath as he whispered urgently in her ear. "Nay lass, there's no black pudding in't pocket - I'm just pleased to see thee!" Her eyes widened as she felt behind her and grasped him.....HARD!
At this point the whippet let out an almighty yelp and took off down the street like a thing possesed taking the gatepost with it. She lifted her skirt and said "Fuck me it is a black pudding Have you been dogging with that coal miners wife again?" when we thought her pit had been closed years ago, and does she still have that old pit donkey called dick? 'Donkey Dick'? i reply "It's a chipolata!" " I've had bigger and better than that chipolata called Donkey Dick"
She pulled me by the hand up the back alley. I knew what was going to happen My member got harder at the thought as her skirt lifted in the breeze. She had farted again..... those bloody veggie burgers are a killer. But it somehow turned me on even more and the blood was pulsing through my veins until the smell of her evacuation reached my nasal regions.... and i could do only but one thing.
I ran as fast as my legs would take me to Mrs Wongs chippy on the corner, I blurted out "69 please, Mrs Wong, sharpish"! "With egg fried rice".
But who should be stood to attention behind me, the one and only Chesney Hawkes!...astounded, I dropped to my knees in amazement and kissed his feet.
Pretending to be tying my shoelace whilst checking out the size of his lunchbox. Hmmph i thought "why has Tankinky had a crush on him for all these years"? So I took both Chesney and Mrs Wong along to the local Swing club to get naked and sauna away the smell of fish.
As we get naked who should appear but Jo brand just about to jump in the jacuzzi. M8-me thinks "that bush needs a severe pruning". and escaping leaving Jo & Mrs Wong playing with Chesney.
Poor Mrs wong wont stand a chance. Tankinky has changed her avatar to throw people of the scent of her crush on Chesney could come to her rescue? Who other than Jo Brands twin, John Sargeant! Deciding that for the sake of the others he would leave now because He'd discovered he preferred to stay backstage and perv the girls getting changed.
Meanwhile On XXX factor. Simon Cowell had told everyone that yes, after earning tens of millions of £'s it was indeed a con and the groupie stuff after was just the icing on the cake. Louis walsh didnt agree though and the pair began a brawl on live telly. Then Dannii and Cheryl joined in. Somehow some mud and foam got spread on stage and Everyone got naked, even the camera crew joined in.
The ratings were sky high. ITV have now launched the sequel called SEX Factor, it will be presented by Presented by Ant and Dek and starring Chubby brown, Leona lewis, and markz and many other celebs even MR Blobby. Each week, Celebs will perform sex acts in the style of well known people. first week is Tankinky & Lillmiss.
the judges will comment after each performance, the public will vote and if a dead heat occurs, god knows what will happen. The winner will be decided in a do-or-die, last-perv-standing cage match round of "Crinkly Bottom", MC'ed by Noel Edmonds and
The next day it was discovered that S-H forums were holding a big brother type house thing and for a forefit someone had too Pluck a chicken for dinner, only it was misheard as Fuck the chicken! TYRACER & LOST had feathers everywhere as the tried to get to grips with Maurice... the gay chicken.
What a magnificent example of a fine cock he only problem was that Maurice preferred to be ravishing a parrot which was sitting on my shoulder at the time. Poor Benrums got serious whiplash from all the sexploits on his shoulder. The only answer was to Cut off poor Benrums head which seemed a very drastic action as he only had 6" fully erect.
Meanwhile the rest of the sex shows contestants were practising their putting-condoms-on-with-mouth skills on a range of fruit, vegetables and household implements. Nola managed the cucmber and banana OK, but was having a little difficulty with the butternut squash when her fairy godmother arrived and said. "Nola, you're going to have to open wider than that!"
To which Nola replied. ""Okay then. And here's me all these years thinking the 'mouth like the Mersey Tunnel' comment was an insult!?!"
Nola's fairy godmother looked a bit surprised wondering what Nola's mouth had to do with it but then there was a sudden Bang, and into the room burst the Big Bad Troll with an enormous club, this is the troll's version of the the dr's tardis only when you open the flap in it you enter in to a swinging club. the only problem was that tonights theme was. "Dress like Sunday Dinner".
So, 45 people had turned up as a chicken but the smell of sprouts was everywhere "quick" said Tune
"press the Tardis button to get us back to last Tuesday, only way we'll get outta this stink" - but then it was in fact the beautiful aroma of Cod.
They all hopped on the train at Grimsby Docks and hightailed it out of town towards the Copa... Copa Cabana. The hottest joint north of Havana. At the Copa they fell in love.
The management of the Copa weren't prepared for a coach load of swingers, hell-bent on sexy adult play. They watched open-mouthed as the Coach pulled into the coach park and Barry Manilow was kicked out of the door in full gimp suit, held on a dog collar by none other than. Prince Charles, who called Camilla to help undress Barry.
Camilla unzipped his trousers and Was amazed to find Barry is actually Beryl her long lost lover from australia and not her long haired lover from Liverpool,
Anyway, the Three of them went into the Copa for a cuppa and entering the the sitting room, were shocked to see That the decor had been changed from a pastel green with contrasting furnishings to. Vibrant purple vinyl furnishings over a crimson red deep pile carpet ,with the most enormous 6' high lava lamp in the corner giving it all a very psychedilc glow. The only thing that looked out of place was Uncle fester sat in the corner eating Nice 'n' Spicy flavour Nik Naks .
Barry/Beryl, now completely naked together with Uncle Fester who had finished his packet of Nik Naks bothdecided that it was time to, burst into a rendition of "Mandy" at which it was rime too boogie on down to the disco sounds, the super sounds of the sexy seventies. Groovy man lets jive.
Camilla turned pale knowing that unless it was Hard rock she new not how to "get down" Someone at the back of the room shouted "don't worry Camiknickers just bounce around this a bit" and through a small handbag onto the floor. With aid such as this she thought "how can i fail and her hips started swaying.
Outside it was starting to snow All deep and crisp and even....... but it didnt stop that famous cat burglar Ginger Tom from.
Sex God
.....chances with st3ve after letting on about the fishy stuff St3ve was involved
Sex God
likes to dribble the foul stuff 'erotically' al over his playmates :insertvomitemoticonhere:
Victoria seemed...
Victoria seemed...
It was none other than..... Sex God
Lost :shock: How could this be? Lost wondered quizzically as he fumbled for his trusty toilet roll crotcheting crochet needles for comfort. Sadly turning away from Victoria and turning his collar to the cold and damp of the autumn air he looked towards the wrought iron gates of the instutute and started towards them crotcheting.
Sex God
St. Mingers Home for the Chronically Undateable took in allsorts of waifs and strays.
Lost figured they might be able to help him. He'd been on the case of Missing Swinger WinchWench for some time. She was last seen...
Lost figured they might be able to help him. He'd been on the case of Missing Swinger WinchWench for some time. She was last seen...
Sex God
Sniggering...
:lol2:
:lol2:
Sex God
as she boarded the Good Ship Jolly Roger (or was it receiving a jolly good rogering?! :rascal
Either way, Lost had been employed by concerned friends from SH Towers as a PI and charged with finding the Wench.
He pushed open the gates of St. Mingers Home for the Chronically Undateable. Shocked, he couldn't believe his eyes...
Either way, Lost had been employed by concerned friends from SH Towers as a PI and charged with finding the Wench.
He pushed open the gates of St. Mingers Home for the Chronically Undateable. Shocked, he couldn't believe his eyes...
