One liners!

2 Jul 2004

don't you just love them, here are some of our favourites, genuine ones sent to us, all by guys who seem to think a cock picture is worth a thousand words:
"Your missus is pretty, can I fuck her?"
"8 inches hard and waiting in Manchester for you"
and at number one is:
"I can get a nice clean van to use at night" (now he really knows how to show someone a good time)
What are your favourites?

2 Jul 2004

"I'm in the South too, can we fuck?"
Not even hello!
........ mind you, he has met all the criteria in that one sentence :twisted:

2 Jul 2004

" You seems a facinating person to talk to .............do you meet single guys ?"

2 Jul 2004

Howay then pet ya divvent swet much ferra fat lass

2 Jul 2004

Are you a woman?
Yes thats why it says his twice in my signature
rolleyes

2 Jul 2004

Oh... there are SO many! rolleyes

"Seen your pics and you make me as horny as hell. Do you swallow?"
"8 inches, thick, uncut cock. Rapid repeater and heavy cummer. Any use?"
"In Croydon this afternoon. Fancy meeting for a fuck?"
And, of course it goes without saying they ALL start with... "I've just joined this site..."
banghead

2 Jul 2004

Hi All
I know it may be sad but on corry the other night the guy in the factory said :-
Right girls knickers down and listen before we go any further wink

. What a classic line
( i good bit of writting for TV I think ) made me giggle lol

others :-
Im an under water brick layer someone has to build bridges :P
im a dolphin trianer if you fancy it come and have a ride :twisted:
and no i dont use them, lol

2 Jul 2004

Quote by MISSCHIEF
"I'm in the South too, can we fuck?"
Not even hello!
........ mind you, he has met all the criteria in that one sentence :twisted:

Oh alright then... Hello...tsk! I forget to type one word, I dunno.

2 Jul 2004

Quote by Silk and Big G
Howay then pet ya divvent swet much ferra fat lass

Sid the Sexist I believe lol

2 Jul 2004

Quote by davej
"I'm in the South too, can we fuck?"
Not even hello!
........ mind you, he has met all the criteria in that one sentence :twisted:

Oh alright then... Hello...tsk! I forget to type one word, I dunno.
That's more like it! Now get yer kit off! :twisted:
:lol2:

2 Jul 2004

In response to an ad we placed yesterday (and then moved to the right section this morning redface

)
Loads of responses - most very polite and informative..
One guy sent ............ his phone number.. That's it, just the phone number!!!
Paul

2 Jul 2004

Yeah Paul and you still havent called
thought you were genuine rolleyes

2 Jul 2004

"Nice tits"
"nice tits........can you give me a tit wank"
Dawn :silly:

2 Jul 2004

Well ?
(sod one liners how about one worders) :shock:

2 Jul 2004

Quote by warwick
Yeah Paul and you still havent called
thought you were genuine

True Warwick, true... But I did not believe that your number was really 999
So, when they ask what service do you want... Do I request the 'Warwick - emergency shag service'?
Paul

2 Jul 2004

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

2 Jul 2004

Quote by warwick
Well ?

Yep! That works for me!!
What about you Dawn, FFM 3some? :lol2:

2 Jul 2004

Quote by MISSCHIEF
Well ?

Yep! That works for me!!
What about you Dawn, FFM 3some? :lol2:
Yep.........naked and ramptant :giggle:

2 Jul 2004

"I want to fuck your arse"
"I know I don't meet the criteria in your ad, but ...."
And people still ask why I deleted my ad.
Oh yeah, and "I've replied to your ad 3 times and you haven't got back to me, so..."

2 Jul 2004

ace ive scored lol

paul ask for criminal insanity dept :shock: :shock:

2 Jul 2004

Quote by JudyTV
I have always fancied fucking a tranny, do you have your own tits?
JudyTV

To which you should reply;
No, but if you bring a mate I'll have a pair then. :idea:

2 Jul 2004

I recieved one which said
NIce ass can I fuck it?
No hiya or anything confused

2 Jul 2004

Quote by easy
I have always fancied fucking a tranny, do you have your own tits?
JudyTV

To which you should reply;
No, but if you bring a mate I'll have a pair then. :idea:
OK it took me a dozen or so reads ..... but I got there in the end!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

2 Jul 2004

We always get
"id love to listen to you guys fuck on the phone" not that we'd fit on it!!!
Or another favourite seems to be
"Id love to watch you guys fuck on cam phone"
or
"youve got nice tits can i suck em??"
It does make you wonder if we accidentally put somewhere that we have a phone fetish!!!
Clare,xxx
wink

2 Jul 2004

What I like to hear when I say "do you fuck on the first night?" is "Not till now you smooth talking bastard" lol

2 Jul 2004

Quote by madmaninsane
What I like to hear when I say "do you fuck on the first night?" is "Not till now you smooth talking bastard"

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

2 Jul 2004

Have business cards made up that read "This card entitles the bearer to a free shag!! Phone this number now"

2 Jul 2004

Quote by madmaninsane
Have business cards made up that read "This card entitles the bearer to a free shag!! Phone this number now"

Genius, sheer genius. rotflmao

to get some business card sheets to run through his printer

2 Jul 2004

he he PC World is going to do a roaring trade in card and ink lol cool

2 Jul 2004

Quote by MISSCHIEF
I have always fancied fucking a tranny, do you have your own tits?
JudyTV

To which you should reply;
No, but if you bring a mate I'll have a pair then. :idea:
OK it took me a dozen or so reads ..... but I got there in the end!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
I, love her ( and I have it on good info sodoes Carpy)
ain't she so sweet and romantic?
giblet