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Opening weekend

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bluexxx
Sex God
Mark, I'll be 32. Weight, I'm not sure as my scales are broken, but I think about 10 and a half stone. I'm not scared to talk about either wink I'll probably be slobbing around watching the race on Sunday, but I might see my birthday in with a trip to Partners on Saturday night lol :lol: :lol: While you lot are talking about shagging, I'll be doing it :wink: :wink: :wink:
bluexxx
Sex God
Uneasy, no - just taking it as un-seriously and as tongue-in-cheek as everyone else seems to be. wink
Atrophy - yuk, not nice! The long slow decline into false teeth and face lifts - ooohhh cool :shock: Let's all grow old in as disgraceful way as possible to ease the pain :wink:
Heather
Sex God
Arh!
A girlie free zone, is it...?
Right.
Just Mark and Kat and all you other blokes....
Whatever floats your boat I guess....
But is it okay if I just sit here and watch? :shock: I'll be quiet and I won't say much... Just relax... Pretend no one is watching and do whatever you blokes do when we're not around... :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Unknown User
Think yourself lucky I am feeling in an indulgent mood young lady!

Help! I am currently in serious trouble. Kit just pointed out that it is her birthday next week as well, and I told her off (kit) for being in here and let blue off, and did the fact that Blue is more than a decade younger have any influence on that decision.
I need a cunning plan...... :cry:
Unknown User
But is it okay if I just sit here and watch?

Hiya H, as long as you have finished the washing up, ironing, cleaning made sure the toilet seat is up ready for us, and keep our glasses topped up and. I think we are able to be magnanimous. We are modern men after all.
8)
Red__Van__Man
Sexlightened
Saunters into the men's room and slumps into an easy chair. Then proceeds to regale, all who will listen, with his tales of bad women drivers.
Thank you chaps, for establishing this sanctuary. After a tough day on the road, it's good to have somewhere to chill out smile
Of course we should've realised, the lovely ladies would have to join us. Tell a lady she's not allowed somewhere or not do something and she will have to investigate. I don't have a problem with that, as long as they bring a cold beer from the fridge on their way in and take the empties away, on their way out. Slumps a little lower in the easy chair, to avoid the inevitable backlash
Old sexist joke time...........
Q: What do you do, if your lady comes out of the kitchen nagging?
A: Shorten the chain!!!
Right, I'm off to get my con rod polished, whilst it's still in one piece! wink
bluexxx
Sex God
A little boy says to him mum "Mum, what's a cock?"
Mum says, "Son, a cock is what hangs between a man's legs"
Little boy, still curious, says "Mum, what's a cunt?"
Mum replies, "Son, a cunt is the rest of a man".
Unknown User
lol :lol:
Blue, why can you not be more like that nice Heather, so polite and well mannered. She would never post something outrageous like that! And she would certainly not do something she had been told not to do, like post messages in the mens corner.
I really think you should try to be more like sweet young Heather.
LHK
Kat
P.S. I may have to rename this string - novel ways to commit suicide!
Unknown User
Observation.
Why is it that all the boys come running in, gob off, then run away and hide???
As usual, all talk and no action. wink
Wimps!
Kit
xxx
bluexxx
Sex God
I'm not being polite or sweet, my dear Kat, well, because I'm not polite or sweet! And I'm sure Heather is just being kind to you boys - I however, am not so becoming. If you lot are going to post sexist jokes, then I will too :twisted: .
Besides, I like Red Van Man's idea of the easy chair - I can well imagine myself lounging in an easy chair, relaxing in the boy's room... someone pass me a cigar....
Unknown User
Cigar!
SPLUTTER!! GASP!! CHOKE!! with admirable indignation.
Cigars are for men only! You will have to come through me first!
Adopts a hughty pose designed to intimidate and impress.
Heather
Sex God
Am I getting a reputation for being well behaved? Moi? Well, we'll have to put that right... :twisted:
Have this for free, boys...
A female to male transexual went back to work after a break to recover from the final surgery. Curious, his colleagues wanted to know the full gory details.
Colleague: Didn't it hurt when they chopped off your tits?
'New Man' : Nope!
Colleague: Not even when they stitched a penis over your pussy?
'New Man': Nope!
Colleague: So it never hurt at all?
'New Man': Well, yes... the worst bit was when they drilled a whole in my skull and sucked half my brain out.
Hxx
P.S. You know I love you really... but you just *had* to start, didn't you! lol
bluexxx
Sex God
Nice one, Heather!!!! lol :lol: :lol:
Kat - actually, YOU can be the one to hand me my cigar, light it for me, then kneel subserviently in front of me, with the ash try in your hands, ready to catch my ash. All the while, you will be dressed, fetchingly, in a french maid's uniform, complimented by black fishnet stockings and 6 inch stillettos. At my beck and call - I think so! 8)
Unknown User
lol :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
See blue, Now Heather is funny!
You always were my favourite Heather.
(Watch the expert in action boys - Divide and conquer wink Putty in my hands, I give it another 5 messages)
Kat
x
bluexxx
Sex God
Tut, tut, tut - is that the best you can come up with? You just haven't thought this through, have you? rolleyes wink
bluexxx
Sex God
Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say when they're floudering. Go ahead, punk, make my day (a quote from Clint suits the cigar image don't you think?)
Unknown User
Quote by bluexxx
Kat - actually, YOU can be the one to hand me my cigar, light it for me, then kneel subserviently in front of me, with the ash try in your hands, ready to catch my ash. All the while, you will be dressed, fetchingly, in a french maid's uniform, complimented by black fishnet stockings and 6 inch stillettos. At my beck and call - I think so! 8)

A woman after my own heart, although I usually stick with cigarettes as opposed to cigars, although do have the odd pic or two of me smoking something rather chunky (bit it made my fillings taste rather odd)... I often don't worry about having an inanimate ashtray either! smile
Mandy
Don't you just love men in stockings.... mmmmmm!
pclarkwell6
Sexlightened
Saunters in..*cough* cigar smoke and sexism...never a good combination......
'Ere I saw the title of this thread and thought I'd come and claim my free girlie.....oh well, I'm off to clean me sword.... biggrin
Saunters out..
Be lucky folks,
Peter
x
bluexxx
Sex God
Mmmm, yes, men in stockings!!!! lol :lol: :lol:
I have an idea :idea: :idea: :idea:
I think that every male who comes to this so-called boy's room should be dressed in them, and some silky sexy lingerie to match, mmmmm..... looking good, boys :twisted:
Bigwoofer
Warming the Bed
What do you do when your woman walks into the living room with two black eyes?
Nothing, yove told her twice already.
I know its bad..........
Unknown User
Quote by bluexxx
I have an idea :idea: :idea: :idea:
I think that every male who comes to this so-called boy's room should be dressed in them, and some silky sexy lingerie to match, mmmmm..... looking good, boys :twisted:

But, but, but, wouldn't that make this a "Girls Only" bar room?? Hmmm.. great idea!
Mandy
bluexxx
Sex God
I guess it would, yes - cocks in frocks, nothing beats them! There you go, boys, consider yourselves well and truly DOMINATED!!! :twisted:
bluexxx
Sex God
Ah, Mark- you've fallen totally for Kat's feathery attempts to be dom - not a pretty sight, I may say! Kat in stockings however, is another matter :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
pclarkwell6
Sexlightened
Sorry folks...cant resist...
Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
(pulling on red stockings and sussys)
Peter
Bikerguy82
Sexlightened
My..My...My. Just what have I missed. Kat, what did you start here confused: Girlie free zone....NO NO NO :!: Don't tell anyone but I like girlies. Don't like football though....Biker dons red helmet and ducks :shock:
I know a good joke though....Why don't bilnd people bungy jump?
'cos it makes the dog sick!!!......oops, that wasn't sexist rolleyes
Blue, Heather and Mandy seem to have snuck in. I hope they can talk about beer, birds and bikes or I'm off to sit in the corner and play with my tools smile
Oh, and the best thing a man can ask for on his birthday is.....A divorce 8)
bluexxx
Sex God
Who sneaked in - I didn't, I've been here from the beginning, and I hope now you've turned up, Biker, that you have done as you're told and worn in your best silky lingerie.... there's nothing so sexy as knowing that a man in biker leathers is wearing sexy undies underneath - grrrrrr :twisted:
I can talk about beer, birds and bikes - but if I get bored, can I come and play with your tools too?
Heather
Sex God
I hope they can talk about beer, birds and bikes

Beer:
What's the difference between Courage Bitter and making love in a canoe? None - they're both f***ing close to water!
Birds:
What is the perfect Cristmas gift for a woman? A Bowler Hat and a Dildo... because if she doesn't like the Hat she can go f**k herself!
Bikes:
How to you tell if a biker is happy? By all the dead flies on his teeth of course...
What do I win?
Hxx
Bikerguy82
Sexlightened
Did I say I liked girlies.....Blue, of course you can play with my tools as long as I can polish them on your fur. And Heather you win.....you can polish my helmet if you like lol
I have a pair of silk shorts, will that do ??
bluexxx
Sex God
No silk shorts will not do...tut, tut :twisted:
But, oh yes, you can polish your tools on my soft blue fur, its sounds very exciting wink , but I think Kat should help polish your helmet - he is the maid of the boy's room after all :twisted: