Our Friends In Liverpool !!

5 Feb 2004

I just know I'm going to regret this.......
Would I be right in thinking that there is a distinct lack of our friends from Liverpool on this site? Could it be that they are put off by the fact that there is a lot of writing involved or perhaps they are all out doing other things late at night???? confused

:(
Anyway, suffice to say, I feel relatively safe sharing this little gem with you which I received just before Christmas:
A family of Liverpool supporters head out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shoplifting. While in JBB Sports, the son picks up a
Manchester United shirt and says to his 10 year old sister, "I've decided to become a United supporter and I would like this for Christmas".
His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him round the head with her carton of Embassy regal and says, "Go talk to Mum."
Off goes the little lad with the Manchester United shirt in hand and finds his mother.
"Mum?"
"Yes son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be a Manchester United supporter and I would like this shirt for Christmas". The mother is outraged at this and throws her slippers and a full can of lager at him, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "Letâ€™s go talk to your father".
Off they go to Walton Prison during visiting hours with the Man u. shirt in hand to speak to his Dad.
"Dad?"
"Yes son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be a Manchester United supporter and I would like this shirt for Christmas".
The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head with his fists and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT", and then kicks him from one end of the visiting room to the other for further good measure.
About half an hour later, they're all back in the car and heading towards home. The mother turns to her son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today?"
The son says, "Too bloody right I have."
"Good son, what is it?"
The son replies, "I've only been a Manchester United fan for an hour and already I hate you Scouse bastards." lol

:lol:
P.S. If there are any Scousers reading this, I didn't mean it. If there aren't I meant every word!!! :lol:
Sgt Bilko

5 Feb 2004

Hi there...why you were on your computer writing that little ditty I have popped in and nicked your DVD. God,that took me ages to type.......

5 Feb 2004

What do you call a Scouser in a suit?........
The Defendant!
I actually LIKE all scousers-especially big ones that know where I live!

5 Feb 2004

What you have proved Sarge ist that ther are few if any Scousers on this site... as a Manc myself I could postuate why but that may be too provocative!!!
Gmanxxx

6 Feb 2004

still new to the board and been feeling way round, but had to respond to this appalling humour - that joke been going for ages!!!
No offence taken at all btw sarge - if we cant laugh at ourselves!!!
Btw the one thing i found quite ironic is that out of the three replies to your post , two of them contain spelling and or grammatical mistakes...hmmmm!!!!
Shortly after the train departs, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Americans saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So, on the return trip, the Americans decide to copy the scousers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the scousers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket," asks one perplexed American. "Watch" says a scouser.
When they board the train the three Americans cram into a toilet and the three scousers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the scousers leaves his toilet and walks over to the toilet where the Americans are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please".

6 Feb 2004

My keyboard skills may be a bit slow and rusty but my grammar etc is quite good.....eh gman?!
And no self respecting scouser turns up to court without wearing a decent shelly and some shiny white trainees! Suits are for open coffins. x

6 Feb 2004

Hey Tommy Iron... don't forget the curly perm.... calm down calm down!!!
Gmanxxx
a couple of my bessie mates are scousers.... does anyone know of a cure?

6 Feb 2004

I've learned my lesson from perms.....have to go a bit "Phil Mitchell" these days!
My head seems to SSSSSSShhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiinnnneee...ar kid
x

6 Feb 2004

You and me both TI... the sound of the clippers going down to the wood every other week..... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
tell me this.... why do the silver ones grow faster than the rich brown ones?
Middle age.... the demise of the mullet!!!
Gmanxxx

6 Feb 2004

How i long for some silver ones.....when a brown one goes..............
that's it! Oh the days of long hair in a curtain style....new all that gel and hairspray would come back to haunt me!
x

6 Feb 2004

Keep polishing TI
Gmanxxx