Something sparked me enough in threads on LMU to ask this... And i hope that i have phrased it in such a way that i have tried to keep it as impartial as possible.....
Maybe it is me, but i see a lot more married people coming here without their partners knowledge and see it being justified in varous different ways in what they are looking for......
can i just ask you all a few question......I suppose it goes out to any of the men/women in this position..... just want to get a few answer just because it may help the rest of us think of it in different ways
so you see it as 'No Strings Attached' sex.......and that is fair enough for you......
would your partner see it as 'NSA' if they found out???
if they would be fine about it why have you not told them what you are doing?? after all isn't honesty the best policy......
if they would go ballistic then is the sex you get worth the pain that you potentially put them thru.....
If the shoe was on the other foot, how in a sense would you feel......
I have deliberately not used the 'C' word in the thread as i was trying to keep it as non-contenious as humanly possible......
sean xxxxxxxxxxx
here here - good thread - well said.
Sometimes sex in long term relationships / marriages can get boring no matter how good the partner is for allsorts of reasons. But in all other aspects of the relationship / marriage everything is fine. So either arguements start or they come to an arrangment i.e. open relationship or one partner turns a blind eye to whats going on and doesnt want to have other partners themselfs. They know but dont want to know and what they dont know doesnt hurt them. I am not agreeing or disagreeing with having sex behind a partners back but its not always as black and white as it seems!
Me personally would never meet anyone who is 'married and cheating' and to be honest i find it quite a insult that they come on swinging sites and expect swingers not to care, putting comments up like...thought you lot would be more open minded on a site like this! we are open minded but having been in a relationship in the past where my partner shagged everything that moved i could not, and will not do that to another person, if i met a man (or woman) that was married and cheating and i knew they was then i feel that i would also be cheating on that person, and why would i want to do such a hurtful thing to someone whos never done me no harm, and believe me when you find out is it hurtful.
People on swinging sites are as a rule open minded but also most are caring people and cheating on someone does not count as open minded.
My views are if you care so little for someone that you would cheat on them then you should leave them, no ifs or butts, no money or kids crap i have heard it all b4, you either love someone or you do not and you don't cheat on someone you love.
ok can only add this ....... we (me and slayer) are married, dont have secrets, so know exactly whats going on ...................... if you play without partners knowledge or consent you are simply cheating, there are lots of people we know that have genuine reasons for swinging alone, that said their partner is aware of the situation ................... end of the day ......cheating is cheating !!!
Fabio
I am not going to voice my opinion on the rights or wrongs.
Everyones circumstances are different - one should not sit in judgement.
You have no idea what their home life is like or why they decide to embark on this path.
You choose who you want to swing with - that is your life and your preroggative.
Likewise, anyone who wants to play away from home - their life, their decision. I am certain many do not take the decision lightly.
However this subject HAS been done to death!
It is always immotive as you well know - and ends up with a verbal bashing of many of the members on here - most who don't warrant it.
Even you yourself have posted comments related to Cheating (calling it the C word doesn't disguise what you are inferring) within the last few days. AS you also do on most threads relating to this subject which have come up over the last 18 months.
Starting a new thread seems pointless - just do a search on cheating and see how many threads relate to it. This is what we are forever saying to newbies - don't start a new thread when others exist! S
Just my opinions.....
Ok back to work for me....
Alexandra well said agree 100% everybody has a reason why they swing wether they are married or not and who are we to sit in judgement.
Alexandra, I agree entirely.
Many people on here seem to hide under the title of being "open minded" but to be really open minded you have to accept that there are certain things you may not understand, things that are beyond your comprehension or experience.
As I stated elseweher on the this site, it does baffle me that thos most likey to condem married people palying behind their patners back are usuall the ones that are not in a relationship!!Maybe that says it all?
For my part I am fortunate enough to be married to a man who understand that I need "outside interests". However I would never judge anyone who does not tell their partner, after all its their life and relationship.
Personally I am convinced that many partners know that there other half is messing around, they just choose to ignore it. Maybe the all righteous shingles should follow suite?
My main point is that this subject has been discussed over and over and over again!
Unless Mark wants to restrict access to the site to exclude any MWPKs marrieds without partners knowledge (that would have to include 'social' members too), then it is a fact of life that the site will have a membershiup from all quarters.
The fact is we are each responsible for what we do individually.
People may choose or nor choose to play with MWPKs!
Again I say who is anyone on here to judge the individuals themselves?
I am neither defending not condemning anyway.
My feeling this thread is just covering the same old ground and only started to get people's backs up.
its a bit like bare back or not
its been done to death
its a personal choice thing ,where you view the married without partners
live and let live mr fabio its a big enough site for every adult to enjoy to whatever level of involvment they choose
alexandra....
The Reason why I put this up was that you are right... not everyones circumstances are the same....and it isn't always a case of black or white....
But it has come up again in a thread in LMU, Where in the last hour a mod has stated "Maybe those wishing to discuss married people playing away should take it through to the cafe and allow the Lets Meet Up section to be used to seek fun"
that is exactly what i have done after reading that thread.....
if was actually done more as a point of interest.... "I"was the one that was interested in finding out as to why people do it...... not to commemt or condone, which is why i left THAT word out of the discussion.......
sean xxxxxxxxx
I think we should learn to be more non-judgmental. It’s none of our business. We don’t know the ins and outs of people’s circumstances and why they choose to play outside of marriage without the other person’s knowledge.
We wouldn’t welcome non-swingers to judge us as swingers so we shouldn’t judge others for what they choose to do.
Live and let live…..and stop bloody moaning! :P
Calista - that I do agree with!
You have to have the information to enable you to make an informed choice.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
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Dawnie :giggle: