Has any guy now come on be honest suffered when you cant get hard cos your nervous, it has happened to me tonite with one nite stand i think cos i wanted to impress but cock wasent haven it, and a few times before, when i tried to hard( ye hard) any way any advice apart from take relaxation classes. as for tonite cum in the end so did girl, but it wasent memorable.. honest answers please without taking the piss
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performance anxiety
Orgasminator
Well, seeing as no guys have answered you yet (although I'm sure someone will be brave enought to share their experiences with you), I thought I'd try to help...............
The first thing I thought of while reading your post was....'has this man been to see his GP or contacted the NHS Direct Online Help Centre?' If not, that might be worth doing.
Secondly, are you having sex with a person because you find them physically attractive or just because you want sex?
No 3.....you have to relax, feel 100% comfortable with youself and have a good sense of humour.
Hope that helps a little, and don't worry about what people 'might' say!! We are all here to help each other when it comes to issues such as this
CA x
The first thing I thought of while reading your post was....'has this man been to see his GP or contacted the NHS Direct Online Help Centre?' If not, that might be worth doing.
Secondly, are you having sex with a person because you find them physically attractive or just because you want sex?
No 3.....you have to relax, feel 100% comfortable with youself and have a good sense of humour.
Hope that helps a little, and don't worry about what people 'might' say!! We are all here to help each other when it comes to issues such as this
CA x
Orgasminator
Quote by michael walker
ye not relly atracted that much just felt horny, ithink i was out to try and impress
Whao - then why the f**k have I just wasted my time and concentration on trying to help you????? I thought you were being genuine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CA
Yep I suffered from it very recently never had a problem before in my life (well not when sober or bothered) and to be honest I thought it was game over the fookin thing would never work right be it on my own or with a special lady 
I genuinely thought years of working 15 plus hours a day living on fry ups, loads of stress at that time of my life and smoking 40 odd fags a day had took it's toll.
I even googeled the V word 
Then after some talking we realised it was anxiety but knowing so simply made it worse the bloody thing would woirk fine then like throwing a switch in my head I'd think about it an dbingo it was gone :(
There was no quick fix I just had to stop worrying about it which is easier said than done but a very understanding person
and just learning to enjoy what was happening and just treat full sex as an added bonus seemed to work.
I know saying don'y worry won't help but the only way round it is to just let your sex life take it's course things will soon get back to normal :D
I genuinely thought years of working 15 plus hours a day living on fry ups, loads of stress at that time of my life and smoking 40 odd fags a day had took it's toll.
I even googeled the V word Then after some talking we realised it was anxiety but knowing so simply made it worse the bloody thing would woirk fine then like throwing a switch in my head I'd think about it an dbingo it was gone :( There was no quick fix I just had to stop worrying about it which is easier said than done but a very understanding person
and just learning to enjoy what was happening and just treat full sex as an added bonus seemed to work.I know saying don'y worry won't help but the only way round it is to just let your sex life take it's course things will soon get back to normal :D
Orgasminator
Quote by michael walker
i am geniune ,the two of us were just horny but the lift wasent operating to top floor, in cock dept, as i said i was a bit hyped up which dident help but she was fairly attractive, so your time wasent wasted
Please accept my sincere apologies.....................I read your previous post all wrong................I am sooooooooooooooo sorry
I'm sure there will be more guys around tomorrow to help you out with your situation (and hopefully they will be sober too
ops: )CA xxxxxx
PS - you don't seem to have any problems in the erection dept from your profile pic :shock:
Orgasminator
*CA bows out ~ not so gracefully ~ pissed as a fart n leaves the guys to it*
Orgasminator
Quote by michael walker
cant you be a mate if your female, erm think so
I think you can Michael, but some people don't have the same opinion. I suppose the terminoligy 'mate' is ususally associated with men and therefore some, if not most women will take offence at being called mate.
Tell me to sod off if you so wish for I am inebriated and rambling lol
CA x
oh yes its happened to me lol i can walk round with a stonker for days thinking about things then come the moment the excitement of it all is too much for me,when it happened though the said cpl were very understanding to my amazement and a 2nd meet was arranged,no problems 2nd time round ,just go's to show that everyone gets nervous about meeting for pre arranged sex with relative unknowns.i often wonder how when meeting women in clubs etc and getting it on within hours of meeting seems to never cause a prob,i think my problem at that time was the thought of everything being so pre arranged and clinical,i just had to put a spanner in the works lol or not as the case was!!! 
Sex God
been there done that
as for advice?
it just seems to happen sometimes and imho it has bugger all to do with the person your with, but everything to do with your own state of mind.
all i can say is that it goes away as quickly as it arrives
....... sorry, pun was totally unintended.
the bit that worries me is that 9 times out of ten, there was no way i could manage it pissed, just wouldn’t happen. but just recently that’s all changed. wtf is that all about???
It’s got to be in the head :lol2:
as for advice?
it just seems to happen sometimes and imho it has bugger all to do with the person your with, but everything to do with your own state of mind.
all i can say is that it goes away as quickly as it arrives
....... sorry, pun was totally unintended.the bit that worries me is that 9 times out of ten, there was no way i could manage it pissed, just wouldn’t happen. but just recently that’s all changed. wtf is that all about???
It’s got to be in the head :lol2:
Could it be down to nerves? As you said, you were keen to impress so the pressure was on and little Johhny was having none of it.
Maybe next time, take your time, relax and indulge in that frequently missed phenomena called foreplay. The mind is the most erotic organ in the body and if that's not in the right mood, then you can't expect the rest of you to be singing from the same songsheet
Good luck for next time
As you said, you were keen to impress so the pressure was on and little Johhny was having none of it. Maybe next time, take your time, relax and indulge in that frequently missed phenomena called foreplay. The mind is the most erotic organ in the body and if that's not in the right mood, then you can't expect the rest of you to be singing from the same songsheet
Good luck for next time
Thanks for rsponse, its good to know not alone, shit happens.
I guess it is a mind thing , if not chilled and relaxed and want to please to much ,good old fashioned foreplay i guess.
The guy who said about drink ye drink and sex dont mix, sometimes ye great operates normally but johnnie wont do as he is told sometimes, once again thanks for advice.
I guess it is a mind thing , if not chilled and relaxed and want to please to much ,good old fashioned foreplay i guess.
The guy who said about drink ye drink and sex dont mix, sometimes ye great operates normally but johnnie wont do as he is told sometimes, once again thanks for advice.
Quote by CarrieAnn
cant you be a mate if your female, erm think so
I think you can Michael, but some people don't have the same opinion. I suppose the terminoligy 'mate' is ususally associated with men and therefore some, if not most women will take offence at being called mate.
Bugger - I can't call females 'mate' ?? What term can be used (apart from 'hun') for all sexes?
Back on topic... My first time with my now wife really suffered - we both wanted it but my cock wasn't having any of it. I think relaxing is key to avoiding it - I did the complete reverse and we insisted on shagging sometime before morning (I saw it as the falling off a horse siuation - I sooner I got back on the horse the better I would be)... well after many hours we did manage something. But it would have been better to have play a game of monoploy instead and just let things happen naturally (I'm sure once she landed on my hotel clad mayfair that my cock would have picked up :twisted: ) :shock:
Sex God
Hell it happens to me regularly, enough not to give a stuff about it. I don't think its anxiety as much as an age / diet/ general health thing, somethimes it works and sometimes it don't. I've talked to it, sometimes admonished it in the sternest of tones, even clipped it like you would with an awkward child (not that davej clips awkward children, he shows empathy and patience ) but it just lays there in defiance, but it matters not a jot and theres still plenty of other ways and I'm pretty sure that anyone your with thats got half an adult brain, would accept that its just one of those things.
I guess that if its a real issue then the doctor is the first port of call for pointers to a variety of solutions.
) but it just lays there in defiance, but it matters not a jot and theres still plenty of other ways and I'm pretty sure that anyone your with thats got half an adult brain, would accept that its just one of those things.I guess that if its a real issue then the doctor is the first port of call for pointers to a variety of solutions.
Ok
I had this problem last time out now im worried about it and its put me off a bit tbh among other reasons.
I'm now in the vicious circle.
Do i go to docs now or see if it was a one off:
I wouldnt have dreamt of saying that here 6 mths ago and this thread and others and the people here who give help and advise has helped.
I had this problem last time out now im worried about it and its put me off a bit tbh among other reasons.
I'm now in the vicious circle.
Do i go to docs now or see if it was a one off
: I wouldnt have dreamt of saying that here 6 mths ago and this thread and others and the people here who give help and advise has helped.
I know easier said than done but come to realise through whats been said here and common sense that if you build something up then you are bound to be nervous and if partner is giving bad vibes i .e get on with it that makes it worse.
With me i had been very horny before got my self on edge of coming loads of times before meet, thinking it would fuel me up but wasent the case i think trick is dont beat yourself up relax, foeplay (lots) even defuse situation by making a joke if need be hope this helps
With me i had been very horny before got my self on edge of coming loads of times before meet, thinking it would fuel me up but wasent the case i think trick is dont beat yourself up relax, foeplay (lots) even defuse situation by making a joke if need be hope this helps
