picture taking at social events

22 Dec 2007

Surely if someone was taking photos all the photos would show are friends in a pub having a drink? The only ones who would have a problem with that would be the attached men/women who should be with their wives/husbands or partners or those who have something to hide by being out on that night.
We are talking about a social in a bar and not swingers swinging at a swingers club. Most people have phone cameras now are we going confiscate them at the door and employ bouncers to physically remove people from socials?

22 Dec 2007

Quote by Try2
Surely if someone was taking photos all the photos would show are friends in a pub having a drink? The only ones who would have a problem with that would be the attached men/women who should be with their wives/husbands or partners or those who have something to hide by being out on that night.
We are talking about a social in a bar and not swingers swinging at a swingers club. Most people have phone cameras now are we going confiscate them at the door and employ bouncers to physically remove people from socials?

No I fully understand the want / need not to feature in a picture where you're permission has not been sought or given and where you can be identified from it.
Certainly where I have recently had my pic taken with other site members we have always ensured the back drop shows only a wall. That way there really should be absolutely no cause for any complaint.
Is that just common sense?????

22 Dec 2007

Quote by the_Laird
Is that just common sense?????

Yep, but some people bunked off the day they handed that out rolleyes

22 Dec 2007

hi try2 so your saying people are not entitlend to there own privacy at socials or any other event for that matter
wot gives anyone the rite to take pics of another person with out there consent
every one has the rite to say NO

22 Dec 2007

Quote by Try2
Surely if someone was taking photos all the photos would show are friends in a pub having a drink? The only ones who would have a problem with that would be the attached men/women who should be with their wives/husbands or partners or those who have something to hide by being out on that night.
We are talking about a social in a bar and not swingers swinging at a swingers club. Most people have phone cameras now are we going confiscate them at the door and employ bouncers to physically remove people from socials?

hello try, I do see your point, but as naughtynotts stated, everyone has the right to say NO, democrecy.
Also, its not just the attatched/married people that do not want their pictures displayed. What i get up to in my private time is just , if we choose to keep this discrete, surely its our perogitive.???

22 Dec 2007

I agree people have a right to say no but once the photo is taken you have to physically remove the camera from the person who took the photo as you will never be sure that the photo was deleted as you requested.

22 Dec 2007

Ooerr...
Seems to have kicked off in here lol..
I can't see any reason why people want to take the pics anyway.. ok between couples etc on a good night out they may want a momento.. fine so long as people are aware..
Now if those same pics then have some sort of tags like swingers having fun etc and then put on a website of any kind then its not so innocent and can cause anyone caught in the same pics great problems.. I don't see why people should have to worry about any of these things..
No you can't police this.. it can't be made to happen but people should quite simply respect wishes and NOT take when others not wanting to be in are there..
Where would it stop.. secret recordings?? Make a Video perhaps.. Post on You Tube, Facebook and the like... Ok some may not be as worried as others about being seen.. We all have the same rights though eh??
Mike x

22 Dec 2007

Quote by Try2
I agree people have a right to say no but once the photo is taken you have to physically remove the camera from the person who took the photo as you will never be sure that the photo was deleted as you requested.

The people did say no... and asked for the photos to be deleted....It sounds like this person decided that they were better than everyone else....
I think it is more a point that this person, whoever they were, decided to act against the rules for that specific meet.... If it was my meet, then I would have certainly asked them to leave.....
but now you have a case, like the other example, where some people know who it is now, and others don't therefore if I was to have a social... I would have no idea of who we were talking about......
maybe it is about time we had a central list where if a person with history wants to go to a social, then at that stage let the organisors know.. just like there was talk of a munch no shows list......
sean xxxxxxxxxx

22 Dec 2007

I wasn’t at the social but I know what happened. This event was organised as a birthday party for the host and an SH social combined. People were asked to come in fancy dress and a stripper was booked for the birthday. When you get people who attend a party in fancy dress people are going to take photos of themselves and their friends in costumes. Photos were also taken of the stripper and host together with the blessing and approval of the host.
So where do you draw the line. It seems it was ok with the same person taking some photos. You can not have a witch hunt after every social event.

22 Dec 2007

Quote by fabio
I agree people have a right to say no but once the photo is taken you have to physically remove the camera from the person who took the photo as you will never be sure that the photo was deleted as you requested.

The people did say no... and asked for the photos to be deleted....It sounds like this person decided that they were better than everyone else....
I think it is more a point that this person, whoever they were, decided to act against the rules for that specific meet.... If it was my meet, then I would have certainly asked them to leave.....
but now you have a case, like the other example, where some people know who it is now, and others don't therefore if I was to have a social... I would have no idea of who we were talking about......
maybe it is about time we had a central list where if a person with history wants to go to a social, then at that stage let the organisors know.. just like there was talk of a munch no shows list......
sean xxxxxxxxxx
I agree with you in sentiment fabio. The problem then goes into the 'name and shame' discussion sort of thing. It's possibly open to abuse?
I still go with the idea of if people generally know that photo's etc are not acceptable manners at socials then that would become part of standard practice.
As for wanting pics with friends etc, even ones from miles away only met rarely. That could be sorted out ex-social. Thats what I think

22 Dec 2007

Quote by fabio
just like there was talk of a munch no shows list......

Just quoting this little bit Sean - cos there is a munch 'no show' list cool

When people are organising a munch, they hand the list over and it gets checked over for them, they get told if there are any people that are on the 'no show' list, they can then make a slightly more informed choice biggrin

In an ideal world things like this wouldn't happen, unfortunately it isn't an ideal world. It's impossible for SH to police every event that's advertised on here, even more impossible when many socials get arranged purely through the chatrooms just by word of mouth.
Not so long ago we got a slating for over policing social events, which we were told were nothing to do with us, and who the bluddy ell are we to say who can and can't be invited into someones house for a social. Since then, socials have been left to the organisers to organise and run. Events can be advertised on here, I think with the only limitation that a full list should be available to anyone else going, and a warning if banned members are going.
Munches on the other hand are quite a bit more policed on here - which is occasionally why some people opt for organising a social instead of a munch. Munches have stricter guidelines to try to eliminate safety/secuity/privacy issues, although I would never say it was foolproof, it does work to a fair extent...... but it would be too much to put those guidelines on every event..... as we were told during our slating, when will it end, soon you'll be telling us who we can and can't shag etc confused

So if you wanna hold a munch, go ahead, but be prepared for the grilling beforehand, all the questions etc....... If you prefer not to have to go through all that palava, then hold a social, but be prepared for the grilling when things don't go right.

22 Dec 2007

As most of you will know we are the notts meet organisers,and this is starting to become well out of hand it was mr sexy cpl notts bday yes it was fancy dress and yes there was a stripper booked BUT it was also a planned social,where we clearly stated as you cam in that under no circmstances were pics or videos taken without prior consent of the person/persons did everything in our power to prevent this and when we were informed it was happening we had a word straight away,unfortunately the said person was not accepting they had done anything wrong and it got very out of hand and they were asked to more could we do?if wed of tried to take his camera we could have opened a whole new fight !!! we had to make apologies to all our guests and the bar staff and pub staff,making us look really only this bt unfortunately this matter continued after the social which again made us look really did all possible but is it ever enough really?obviously now we cant have this person as another social as we have the loyalty to our other just because this was also a bday doesnt make the rules any different we stated "social rules apply" and we did have a notice when everyone came are very dissapointed by all of this and very sorry to all or other and ant x

23 Dec 2007

Quote by Try2
I wasn’t at the social but I know what happened. This event was organised as a birthday party for the host and an SH social combined. People were asked to come in fancy dress and a stripper was booked for the birthday. When you get people who attend a party in fancy dress people are going to take photos of themselves and their friends in costumes. Photos were also taken of the stripper and host together with the blessing and approval of the host.
So where do you draw the line. It seems it was ok with the same person taking some photos. You can not have a witch hunt after every social event.

Nobody has said that photos aren't acceptable, just that the permission of everyone in shot needs to be gained before the picture is taken. If you do that, there's no need to delete any or remove anyone's camera or 'phone.

23 Dec 2007

Quote by sexy_cpl_nottz
As most of you will know we are the notts meet organisers,and this is starting to become well out of hand it was mr sexy cpl notts bday yes it was fancy dress and yes there was a stripper booked BUT it was also a planned social,where we clearly stated as you cam in that under no circmstances were pics or videos taken without prior consent of the person/persons did everything in our power to prevent this and when we were informed it was happening we had a word straight away,unfortunately the said person was not accepting they had done anything wrong and it got very out of hand and they were asked to more could we do?if wed of tried to take his camera we could have opened a whole new fight !!! we had to make apologies to all our guests and the bar staff and pub staff,making us look really only this bt unfortunately this matter continued after the social which again made us look really did all possible but is it ever enough really?obviously now we cant have this person as another social as we have the loyalty to our other just because this was also a bday doesnt make the rules any different we stated "social rules apply" and we did have a notice when everyone came are very dissapointed by all of this and very sorry to all or other and ant x

No one's fault...
Not the organisers prob I don't think.. Just peoples manners and being gracious when and where it counts!
Sounds to me like things got well and truly ugly which is just plain daft.. there are enough nervous people around as is who now may be put off going to events as a result... and if that happens everyone is a loser..
What a shame... Christmas.. a Birthday a Social and all ruined over a stupid picture!! Hope it was worth it...
Mike

23 Dec 2007

The real irony is that this same person posted on the secret videing thread and said how disgusted they were at what had gone on rolleyes

I now have another name to add to my list of people who will stop me attending future events...
Thanks a lot you selfish t***

23 Dec 2007

I think this is now all getting out of hand and is putting me off going to any more socials and parties. Its no longer about a photo being taken its about being allowed to call people what you want on here when you were not there that I am taking exception to.
I could give you all a whole list of people who have taken photos of me which I never agreed to. People who are well respected on here and apart from that have never caused trouble. Does it worry me?? Well it never used to worry me until now as what exactly are they going to do with those pictures? I was fully clothed as are we all at socials. So no I am not going to start getting paranoid and worrying.
The named person on here was in the wrong by being argumentative and thats their loss for future socials organised by some people but they have also been on the receiving end of having pictures taken too. Being a plonker at times is not the same as being a mass murderer you know and I think this has the traits of a witch hunt. They may have been stupid but I have seen far worse.
I also got it wrong about who the said person may have been and thats also worried me as I found myself getting paranoid and wanting to know who it was. Why did it matter - it didnt - in fact maybe I was just being nosey and it really wasnt my business as I was not there.
I am sure many of you will differ in your opinions on this one but I came on this site to have a laugh, make friends and enjoy life and get away from stress and worry. I have found lately a level of falseness and jealousy which is incredibly devisive. I never knew that before I attended private parties and socials. Whats that all about?
Maybe munches are the best places to go to. At least I know the ground rules there.

23 Dec 2007

Surely the law comes into this somewhere? Years ago we held my son's b/day party at a local swimming pool. It wasn't a private function and members of the public were there also. As we always did, we wanted to video some of the action for prosperity but we were told that under no circumstances were we allowed to by the pool managers. This seemingly was to protect the general public's privacy etc. If that is the case then surely the bar manager would be able to do the same at any event whether it was a SH event or anything else? Perhaps someone who knows the law about this could comment?

23 Dec 2007

Quote by Corrie2007
....... Maybe munches are the best places to go to. At least I know the ground rules there.

Maybe we should all stay at home as private house parties are no longer camera safe and socials are no longer camera safe.
And while we are at it maybe SH should demand that all swingers clubs and pubs where munches are held turn off their cctv cameras protecting their property and our vehicles while we are there, as we would not want to be seen entering s building where SH swingers have arranged to meet. And also turn off all cctv cameras at the hotels where SH swingers we be staying the night while at munches, socials, private parties and swingers clubs.
Has anybody questioned what happens to all this cctv footage and have they asked for your permission to be filmed.
The point I am making is where does this madness about peoples privacy stop

23 Dec 2007

Quote by Try2
The point I am making is where does this madness about peoples privacy stop

Most of us are concerned that our involvement in the swinging scene remains a private matter, which is why most of us safeguard our anonymity by blanking out the faces on our profile pictures – or even password them if they are really concerned.
The problem with pictures being taken at a social is that it greatly reduces the ability of the individual member to retain control of his/her own privacy. I don’t want people outside the scene being able to identify me from my profile pictures and I certainly have no desire to see myself standing in the background of a picture in the News of the World illustrating an article about wife-swapping in the suburbs!
Personally, I would prefer it if there were no photography in the room in which the social is held; all too often people taking photographs are concentrating on the subjects and are oblivious to others who will be in the shot.

23 Dec 2007

Quote by Try2
The point I am making is where does this madness about peoples privacy stop

One person's madness is another's legitimate concern.
You quite rightly have some concerns over privacy since you don't include your face on your profile. I have a greater concern over privacy since I don't include a photo at all. Please don't tell me at what level I should try to protect my privacy.

23 Dec 2007

Quote by Corrie2007
Does it worry me?? Well it never used to worry me until now as what exactly are they going to do with those pictures? I was fully clothed as are we all at socials. So no I am not going to start getting paranoid and worrying.

Last year, some friends of ours were in a group photograph taken at a social from another site. Unfortunately for them, there was a local councillor, or similar newsworthy person, in the group. They were all dressed and without a caption it could have been a wedding photo. However, there was a caption to the photo printed in the Sun, with everyone clearly recognisable and the caption reading along the lines of 'Councillor Suchabody with a group of his swinging friends'. There was also an article describing the main target's sexual activities which left no doubt as to what the other people in the photo liked to do in their spare time.
Apparently one of the group passed the photo to the paper to discredit one person and everyone else in the photo got caught in the crossfire. Photos, clothed or not, can be extremely dangerous if you need to maintain your privacy and anonymity. Once the photo is taken you have no control of where it eventually ends up and are totally reliant on trusting that the keeper of the photo will act in your best interests. As has been seen here lately, trust is often misguided.
If someone takes an unwanted photo and refuses to delete it then unfortunately physical force might be necessary to delete the picture. A ban on photos in the main area, with somewhere set aside for consensual photography, would allow people to be more aware of those who are using cameras or phones surreptiously since there would be no excuse for having them in their hands at all.

23 Dec 2007

one example why people do want to remain private
tere ocupation couib higt up in the police force a mgistrate a GP etc etc an uninvites photo could not just gepedose there career but alos there family life if identefyed by othes
put yourself in there possition would you want people taking unwanted fotos of you if it could gepedise your career and family
i know we wil do everthing in our power to keep out of unwanted photos

23 Dec 2007

Quote by naughtynotts
one example why people do want to remain private
tere ocupation couib higt up in the police force a mgistrate a GP etc etc an uninvites photo could not just gepedose there career but alos there family life if identefyed by othes
put yourself in there possition would you want people taking unwanted fotos of you if it could gepedise your career and family
i know we wil do everthing in our power to keep out of unwanted photos

:shock:

23 Dec 2007

Quote by Freckledbird
one example why people do want to remain private
tere ocupation couib higt up in the police force a mgistrate a GP etc etc an uninvites photo could not just gepedose there career but alos there family life if identefyed by othes
put yourself in there possition would you want people taking unwanted fotos of you if it could gepedise your career and family
i know we wil do everthing in our power to keep out of unwanted photos

:shock:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
wink

@ FB

23 Dec 2007

Quote by buckingfabe
one example why people do want to remain private
tere ocupation couib higt up in the police force a mgistrate a GP etc etc an uninvites photo could not just gepedose there career but alos there family life if identefyed by othes
put yourself in there possition would you want people taking unwanted fotos of you if it could gepedise your career and family
i know we wil do everthing in our power to keep out of unwanted photos

:shock:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
wink

@ FB
Deep breaths FB! lol

23 Dec 2007

Quote by northwest-cpl
You quite rightly have some concerns over privacy since you don't include your face on your profile. I have a greater concern over privacy since I don't include a photo at all. Please don't tell me at what level I should try to protect my privacy.

I never tell people how they should live their lives....
Yes I do have concerns about mine and others privacy and those who know me know that very well. I am also a realist and accept that we do not live in a perfect world where people behave and act the way we would like them too. There is a risk with everything we do in life and swinging is no exception.
And yes I was at that private house party last month when those photos and videos were taken which started this whole debate, and yes I am on that so called disk. It happened and all those concerned have moved on. Banning the other person didn’t stop this person from taking one or two unwanted photos. Imposing bans and rules doesn’t stop people from miss-behaving, that is human nature.
People who have never been to socials, munches, parties or other events read threads like this and get the impression that it’s a free for all and these meets are a risk to their privacy. That is bad for SH’s image and is far from the truth. I have been to many socials, parties and events where photos have been taking and I have taken photos of others myself and no one has ever objected to it.
Socials, munches, parties, and other events are a great way of meeting people and everyone should attend them. They are safe and usually well organised and the hysteria caused by one or two people should not be taken as the norm.
All a thread like does is it destroys the social side of SH.

23 Dec 2007

Quote by Try2
All a thread like does is it destroys the social side of SH.

No it doesn't...over the years i have seen threads pop up with regards to behaviour at munches...some far worse things have happened than pics being taken...its never put people off going to socials and munches if that was the case these events would have died out years ago.

23 Dec 2007

well...i was not at said house party or said social. I have been to socials and parties where oictures have been taken, and have to be honest, have no problem myself being on them. However do fully understand and respect others are not the same.
It does seem to me its not so much about pictures as manners. If I was at any event and someone said i would rather you didn't take that picture....or had I already taken, they asked if they could look..and then asked to be removed...I would like to think I would have the good manners to agree.
Socials are great places to meet folk...and everyone I been to( and I been to quite a few now !!) have been good fun and hassle free.
We are all adults here, and if we simply act with manners and respect towards each other, then all will be fine.

23 Dec 2007

Quote by Mr-Powers
All a thread like does is it destroys the social side of SH.

No it doesn't...over the years i have seen threads pop up with regards to behaviour at munches...some far worse things have happened than pics being taken...its never put people off going to socials and munches if that was the case these events would have died out years ago.
Well I will carry on going to them and carry on organising them. Maybe we are thick or thick skinned confused

23 Dec 2007

Quote by Try2
All a thread like does is it destroys the social side of SH.

No it doesn't...over the years i have seen threads pop up with regards to behaviour at munches...some far worse things have happened than pics being taken...its never put people off going to socials and munches if that was the case these events would have died out years ago.
Well I will carry on going to them and carry on organising them. Maybe we are thick or thick skinned confused

no...most people tend to forget or just move on!