Hi all, i am looking for some advice please.
we are a married couple and have discussed about asking a male to join us for a 3some.
the trouble is, can anyone offer any advice and tips to progress to the next stage.
my wife is happy enough to meet a guy for a drink but how can i help the situation move beyond that??
we met a guy a while back but as he did not make any move and we didn't it was a non starter!!
would appreciate any helpful hints to making what is a great buzz and turn on in bed to something more.
regards
Dave
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please help.
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Did you meet for a drink in a public place? Why not just ask if he'd like to come back to yours? Or hotel or whatever place you have your fun.
It's difficult but confidence really is the name of the game. Can the gent of the couple not just ask outright if the single guy would be interested in playing? "so, would you like to take this further?" If you don't ask, you don't get.
The lady can sit close to him and maybe stroke his leg - if he flinches or runs away, I'd take that as a no
It's difficult but confidence really is the name of the game. Can the gent of the couple not just ask outright if the single guy would be interested in playing? "so, would you like to take this further?" If you don't ask, you don't get.
The lady can sit close to him and maybe stroke his leg - if he flinches or runs away, I'd take that as a no
Sex God
Quote by loves2_watch
Hi all, i am looking for some advice please.
we are a married couple and have discussed about asking a male to join us for a 3some.
the trouble is, can anyone offer any advice and tips to progress to the next stage.
my wife is happy enough to meet a guy for a drink but how can i help the situation move beyond that??
we met a guy a while back but as he did not make any move and we didn't it was a non starter!!
would appreciate any helpful hints to making what is a great buzz and turn on in bed to something more.
regards
Dave
Perhaps the guy you met up with was also a first-timer meeter like you. It is a good idea for at least one of the parties meeting up to have had some previous swinging experiences, then at least they can tell you something about the experiences, as a way of leading into the actual discussion of sex, and what you all like or have in mind. So to choose someone who is not a total newbie would be my advice.
Good luck.
hi again and thanks for the replies.
i probably need to explain better than my previous post (sorry)
My wife is keen but nervous and that is what i need some advice on. i think you are right, the first guy had never had a threesome so we probably picked the wrong person.
we have talked so much on this subject and it has improved our love life 10 fold but it is putting a fantasy into practice that is the difficulty and help is needed.
i am sure once we meet at a bar for an intioal drink and he started some light flirting then it would be fine but she is nervous and unsure. i know she would not make the first move and would need the guy to pay her some compliments but it is the "how" to progess to gonig to a hotel or home (we have youngones) and then what?? who makes the move? me?
i know this is real tame but advice will be appreciated.
thanks
Dave
i probably need to explain better than my previous post (sorry)
My wife is keen but nervous and that is what i need some advice on. i think you are right, the first guy had never had a threesome so we probably picked the wrong person.
we have talked so much on this subject and it has improved our love life 10 fold but it is putting a fantasy into practice that is the difficulty and help is needed.
i am sure once we meet at a bar for an intioal drink and he started some light flirting then it would be fine but she is nervous and unsure. i know she would not make the first move and would need the guy to pay her some compliments but it is the "how" to progess to gonig to a hotel or home (we have youngones) and then what?? who makes the move? me?
i know this is real tame but advice will be appreciated.
thanks
Dave
Quote by loves2_watch
hi again and thanks for the replies.
i probably need to explain better than my previous post (sorry)
My wife is keen but nervous and that is what i need some advice on. i think you are right, the first guy had never had a threesome so we probably picked the wrong person.
Or it could have been an experienced, thoughtful guy who picked up on your wife's nervousness and didn't want to appear pushy by making a move
I know there's a lot of single guy bashing on here sometimes, but I've always been pleasantly surpised by how polite & respectful single guys have been to me and any single guy worth his salt wouldn't push things if he was getting a nervous/unsure vibe from the people he's with.
Best advice I can give is for you and your wife talk about how you could progress the situation in future.
If she is nervous about doing this, maybe you could have your wife give you a signal when she's happy to move forward e.g. a nod or a wink so that youcan then tell the guy you're ready to go back to your place/the hotel/the bedroom.
Sex God
Quote by loves2_watch
hi again and thanks for the replies.
i probably need to explain better than my previous post (sorry)
My wife is keen but nervous and that is what i need some advice on. i think you are right, the first guy had never had a threesome so we probably picked the wrong person.
we have talked so much on this subject and it has improved our love life 10 fold but it is putting a fantasy into practice that is the difficulty and help is needed.
i am sure once we meet at a bar for an intioal drink and he started some light flirting then it would be fine but she is nervous and unsure. i know she would not make the first move and would need the guy to pay her some compliments but it is the "how" to progess to gonig to a hotel or home (we have youngones) and then what?? who makes the move? me?
i know this is real tame but advice will be appreciated.
thanks
Dave
Okie from a single bloke who swings.....
for me it depends, i have been in sitauions when the man has asked me would like to play....
sometimes the female has asked me,would we like to play
it depends on what mood i am in at moment sometimes i am to shy to give a compliment some times i will stroke the leg. Personally i would think that if u had got so far as meeting for a srink and you like him then you on the right track.
Single guys dont wnat to be pushy so often wont take the innivtive, i mean what you could do is this, is mayby book a room, go for a drink in a bad, let hime leave the pub, then maby confirm with ur wife if its ok, if so phone him before he gets to far from pub.
or if feeling more outgoing you could say we have a room booked in the hotel, and then mayby give him the room number, then you could let him watch the both of you play and then take it from there
Mike
Quote by loves2_watch
hi again and thanks for the replies.
i probably need to explain better than my previous post (sorry)
My wife is keen but nervous and that is what i need some advice on. i think you are right, the first guy had never had a threesome so we probably picked the wrong person.
we have talked so much on this subject and it has improved our love life 10 fold but it is putting a fantasy into practice that is the difficulty and help is needed.
i am sure once we meet at a bar for an intioal drink and he started some light flirting then it would be fine but she is nervous and unsure. i know she would not make the first move and would need the guy to pay her some compliments but it is the "how" to progess to gonig to a hotel or home (we have youngones) and then what?? who makes the move? me?
i know this is real tame but advice will be appreciated.
thanks
Dave
Is what you're asking
"How do I get my wife to agree to go further?"
or
"How do I know if my wife wants to go further?"
H.x
how do i get my wife to agree to go further!
the first guy had never had a 3some (which may or may not have been true?)
i know that she is quite shy butwith the right encourgment, would be happy for the situation to go further but she would not instigate any move herself.
i suppose i would need to speak to the guy on the quiet and say to him that he wil have to make the moves.
thanks again for the replies.
the first guy had never had a 3some (which may or may not have been true?)
i know that she is quite shy butwith the right encourgment, would be happy for the situation to go further but she would not instigate any move herself.
i suppose i would need to speak to the guy on the quiet and say to him that he wil have to make the moves.
thanks again for the replies.
Quote by loves2_watch
how do i get my wife to agree to go further!..
..i suppose i would need to speak to the guy on the quiet and say to him that he wil have to make the moves.
Quote by Kiss
:doh:
Double :doh:
Perhaps I should have been a little clearer
Quote by HLB
If she is nervous about doing this, maybe you could have your wife give you a signal when she's happy to move forward
Swinging as a single guy is difficult. I have met both couples and single ladies for fun. I am very aware when meeting a couple that they are together and I would not want to overstep the mark. I always insist on a social meet, that way we can all ensure that we want to take things further. The last thing I want to do is 'make a move' if the female of the couple seems unsure or nervous, and I would never initiate taking it further unless I was sure that SHE wanted to!!!
It sounds to me from your posts that you like the idea better than the wife. If I picked up on this at a meet, and was of the opinion that she was doing this more to please you than actually wanting to herself, I would walk away.
I do this because it's fun, you make friendships, and because I'm a horny b@$t@rd!!
If you're wife is unsure, it's not going to be fun, and there is no chance of it being friendly... so for me, it defeats the purpose.
I think you should discuss with your wife if she is definite about this, or whether the idea is more appealing than the reality!!
If she's not sure, why not consider something else a little less full on, perhaps caming, that way you get some of the upside without making a step that cannot be undone later.
Not all single guys are uncaring you know..... some of us even have feelings!!
GC
It sounds to me from your posts that you like the idea better than the wife. If I picked up on this at a meet, and was of the opinion that she was doing this more to please you than actually wanting to herself, I would walk away.
I do this because it's fun, you make friendships, and because I'm a horny b@$t@rd!!
If you're wife is unsure, it's not going to be fun, and there is no chance of it being friendly... so for me, it defeats the purpose.
I think you should discuss with your wife if she is definite about this, or whether the idea is more appealing than the reality!!
If she's not sure, why not consider something else a little less full on, perhaps caming, that way you get some of the upside without making a step that cannot be undone later.
Not all single guys are uncaring you know..... some of us even have feelings!!
GC
Quote by gocommando1969
Swinging as a single guy is difficult. I have met both couples and single ladies for fun. I am very aware when meeting a couple that they are together and I would not want to overstep the mark. I always insist on a social meet, that way we can all ensure that we want to take things further. The last thing I want to do is 'make a move' if the female of the couple seems unsure or nervous, and I would never initiate taking it further unless I was sure that SHE wanted to!!!
It sounds to me from your posts that you like the idea better than the wife. If I picked up on this at a meet, and was of the opinion that she was doing this more to please you than actually wanting to herself, I would walk away.
I do this because it's fun, you make friendships, and because I'm a horny b@$t@rd!!
If you're wife is unsure, it's not going to be fun, and there is no chance of it being friendly... so for me, it defeats the purpose.
I think you should discuss with your wife if she is definite about this, or whether the idea is more appealing than the reality!!
If she's not sure, why not consider something else a little less full on, perhaps caming, that way you get some of the upside without making a step that cannot be undone later.
Not all single guys are uncaring you know..... some of us even have feelings!!
GC
Well put.
H.x
Quote by gocommando1969
Swinging as a single guy is difficult. I have met both couples and single ladies for fun. I am very aware when meeting a couple that they are together and I would not want to overstep the mark. I always insist on a social meet, that way we can all ensure that we want to take things further. The last thing I want to do is 'make a move' if the female of the couple seems unsure or nervous, and I would never initiate taking it further unless I was sure that SHE wanted to!!!
It sounds to me from your posts that you like the idea better than the wife. If I picked up on this at a meet, and was of the opinion that she was doing this more to please you than actually wanting to herself, I would walk away.
I do this because it's fun, you make friendships, and because I'm a horny b@$t@rd!!
If you're wife is unsure, it's not going to be fun, and there is no chance of it being friendly... so for me, it defeats the purpose.
I think you should discuss with your wife if she is definite about this, or whether the idea is more appealing than the reality!!
If she's not sure, why not consider something else a little less full on, perhaps caming, that way you get some of the upside without making a step that cannot be undone later.
Not all single guys are uncaring you know..... some of us even have feelings!!
GC
As I said earlier, there are some fantastic single guys on this site, and this just goes to prove it :thumbup:
Hi
It seems to me that this is more important for you than your wife, and you really should be considering her, more than you seem to be doing.
Its tough enough for us single men and i certainly would`nt be wanting to cause pain and anxiety to any woman who really wasnt sure of what she wanted.
Go back to the begining and start again, with more thought about what your wife actually wants, rather than your own feelings.
r1rider
It seems to me that this is more important for you than your wife, and you really should be considering her, more than you seem to be doing.
Its tough enough for us single men and i certainly would`nt be wanting to cause pain and anxiety to any woman who really wasnt sure of what she wanted.
Go back to the begining and start again, with more thought about what your wife actually wants, rather than your own feelings.
r1rider
