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please tell us why people time waste

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Jags
Sex God
Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
I'm a bit over cautious about meeting people and giving them my personal details and I was even more so when I was a single fem.
...
If I was thinking of meeting someone I only met them if someone I knew already had. I'd always get the guy's/couple's permission to ask about them first, but it did work well.
I guy said laughed and joked about my nervousness and said he'd pm me his "SH C.V.) lol
I've never had a no show and everyone I met using this method was really really nice

I'm with you on this! Seems to work for me too.
biggrin
Firelizard
Sex God
Quote by poshkate
the reason that people timewaste is.............because they do..........thats it.......nothing special..........nothing exciting........it just happens.
chin up.......get over it........and try again.........
good luck.......xxxxx

Just seen your new Avatar !!!!!! :shock:
Imperial leather,…. you are posh! bolt
Stormwalker
Unknown User
Quote by jenny_loves_fanta
A lot of people like myself really want to be swingers but it's a little scary for newbies as you probably all remember yourselves.
If you're a single girl like myself it's a bit more scary because you have no one you know to hold you hand as you get there.
Half of me wants to meet up with lots of guys. The other half is scared of meeting mr psycho.

Don't be too scared.
It can and does work.
Obviously, people that know me and us will rightly say that I'm overly biased, but there are many other examples.
Look here - http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewpost/456682.html#456682
and this one's not a bad one either
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/49086.html
Welcome to the Asylum btw :thumbup:
Unknown User
Quote by jenny_loves_fanta
A lot of people like myself really want to be swingers but it's a little scary for newbies as you probably all remember yourselves.
If you're a single girl like myself it's a bit more scary because you have no one you know to hold you hand as you get there.
Half of me wants to meet up with lots of guys. The other half is scared of meeting mr psycho.

dont worry jenny im single fem too & I aint met a single psycho yet. Ive met loads of single guys. noone dares to misbehave in public places, hotels are public places. Just stay sober & make sure they do too.
Pete_sw
Sex God
Just a small word of caution here.
We have just had one of the best meets we have ever experienced, bloody fantastic. :blush:
But it took 5 attempts to get it right, :shock:
On two of those occasions it was our fault.
Yes we agree, there probably are folk out there who delight in wasting peoples time, or who get a kick out of talking about it online but don’t actually have the BB to follow it up, however, there are also people out there who have a real life, and sometimes that life conspires to feck up the best laid plans of mice and men.
Especially if you have kids :fume: teens can bee so bloody fickle rolleyes
“yes course we’ll babysit” :bounce:
Come the night …… “oh sorry, forgot, had something planned” <GRRRRRRRRRRRR>
All kinds of things can get in the way at the last minute and we just wondered how many of the ‘second chance only’ people have missed out?
We have now met a wonderful couple, had the most amazing night, and made two really good friends with whom we will most certainly be having loads more fun, and all this after 5 last minute aborted meets.
Sometimes, shit happens, and it may well be worth the benefit of the doubt. All that being said, there are certain safeguards with which to cover yourself, the ones we use are:
We never agree to travel further than the fuel we can afford to lose
We never ever book and pay for a room in advance
We rarely if ever agree to meet anyone with whom we have not built up a good rapport on the phone (unless someone is feeling particularly horny :roll: )
As for single guys, we met someone off this site last week, just for a drink and a get to know you kinda a thing. Yes he did turn up, and turned out to be one of the nicest, politest, warm and caring gentlemen we have ever had the pleasure to meet. There is a lot of tarring and feathering goes on in here sometimes, maybe folks need to lighten up a bit dunno
Sorry rambling now :roll: benefit of the doubt was the point, I think :shock:
Now where’s that parapet to hide behind bolt
Unknown User
biggrin :D :D Thanks to everyone, for your we are new to this and maybe we arnt being patient enough!! I personally want to get the first meet over and done with ASAP because i have wanted it for a long time and i have only just (with Dave's encouragement) plucked up the courage to do anything about it.
Just to point out the reason our ad says "to meet fem, without my knowledge" is that i am shit scared and if i know it is going to happen I would completely crap myself and think of all reasons bad that it shouldnt happen. I would never not go with Dave as that is simply not on the agenda, Put it this way, if he did he would never be able to do anything sexual again!!! :D Basically the idea of him being able to arrange a meet without my knowledge but with someone i have spoken with and got on with would be my idea of the perfect way for this to happen. Still we will see what fortune the future holds.
Thanks again everybody Debs(the better half of debsndave)
Hope you all had a fantastic Bank Hols, We are off to share shower now after hard days toil in the garden xxxxxxx wink :wink:
Freckledbird
Sex God
Quote by debsndave
sorry but we're at a loss to know why people waste their own time to waste ours. Twice we have had solid offers in a month and guess what? mad nothing. Any genuine women on here? Sorry for the rant but ..................................

What exactly do you call a solid offer? I mean, were times/dates/places agreed and they didn't turn up, or did they back out of the meet (with or without warning)?
Have to say, I think you should consider yourselves very lucky if two bi females have agreed to meet you in less than a month on here. If indeed they were bi females. I'd be put off by your ad too, it really does read as if it's a male after a meet - saying that he has a scared partner sounds a bit like a con, in my opinion.
I have to say, we've never been let down by anyone either. Maybe because we take our time and make sure we are confident about the other couple/single turning up.
Unknown User
Quote by freckledbird
sorry but we're at a loss to know why people waste their own time to waste ours. Twice we have had solid offers in a month and guess what? mad nothing. Any genuine women on here? Sorry for the rant but ..................................

What exactly do you call a solid offer? I mean, were times/dates/places agreed and they didn't turn up, or did they back out of the meet (with or without warning)?
Have to say, I think you should consider yourselves very lucky if two bi females have agreed to meet you in less than a month on here. If indeed they were bi females. I'd be put off by your ad too, it really does read as if it's a male after a meet - saying that he has a scared partner sounds a bit like a con, in my opinion.
I have to say, we've never been let down by anyone either. Maybe because we take our time and make sure we are confident about the other couple/single turning up.
Have to admit, we thought the same about the ad, it does sound like someone trying to pull as 'fast one', even if it isn't.
We are lucky that we have never had anyone actually stand us up on the actual night (must be dreadful sitting in a venue and no-one arriving) but had several couples do all the chat, emails, MSN etc and then, just before the meeting (usually the morning) they ring with their crappy excuses.
Sometimes, all the checking in the world, and believe me, we don't take anyone lightly these days, still falls foul of the 'couples' who seem to get a thrill by going through all the arrangements, thinking about it, and then pulling out. As others have said, you just have to accept that 'it happens' and move on. biggrin
loyalduke
Warming the Bed
Been on here a few months at least, taking the first step when you get a reply isn't easy as I am sure everyone has been there redface ...the shall I shan't i point and it is especially difficult first time round no matter how confident you are.
My first positive offer to meet i had to back out of and apologised but we have not yet actually rearranged( although I think we should).
However my next reply led to a meeting for coffee in a local garden centre cafe and we talked for ages and had a look round the centre. We could have seized the day but for sensible reasons arranged a time and place to explore more. Well on the day we clearly still hit it off and well our next meet is hopefully this Friday. biggrin :D
We both need discretion and I am sure will both meet up with others but it has to be right for both people and refusals should not put you off as there is always someone out there who will bring you what you need/want...........I hope rolleyes
Orego69
Warming the Bed
Guess the reason is the same as why people climb Mountains.
Cos they are there and they are allowed.
Only ever had one meet and she showed up so on a 100% success rate.
Based on the above do I dare arrange another????
Orego69
Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by Hillfolk
A lot of people like myself really want to be swingers but it's a little scary for newbies as you probably all remember yourselves.
If you're a single girl like myself it's a bit more scary because you have no one you know to hold you hand as you get there.
Half of me wants to meet up with lots of guys. The other half is scared of meeting mr psycho.

Just a little thing, you indicate in your profile your activities amongst which are anal, gangbangs, watersports and other stuff. ...and your scared of swinging??? C'mon girlie pull the other one
:shock:
Perhaps the 'activities' section is more an indication of what Jenny may be interested in and may be looking to indulge/ participate/ dip her toe in at some point once she feels comfortable here and within the scene??
Maybe, like many of us, Jenny has fantasies and things she'd like to experiment with - and has come here to our community looking for others who share her openmindedness??
But all that doesnt make arriving here, taking that big deep breath in and knocking on the one-way door any less scary, it doesnt make you less wary of people generally, nor does having an initial interest in the more adventerous end of the sexual activities scale automatically make you 'a right goer' ready to jump straight in and do it.
Unknown User
Quote by Hillfolk
A lot of people like myself really want to be swingers but it's a little scary for newbies as you probably all remember yourselves.
If you're a single girl like myself it's a bit more scary because you have no one you know to hold you hand as you get there.
Half of me wants to meet up with lots of guys. The other half is scared of meeting mr psycho.

Just a little thing, you indicate in your profile your activities amongst which are anal, gangbangs, watersports and other stuff. ...and your scared of swinging??? C'mon girlie pull the other one
:shock:
Perhaps the 'activities' section is more an indication of what Jenny may be interested in and may be looking to indulge/ participate/ dip her toe in at some point once she feels comfortable here and within the scene??
Maybe, like many of us, Jenny has fantasies and things she'd like to experiment with - and has come here to our community looking for others who share her openmindedness??
But all that doesnt make arriving here, taking that big deep breath in and knocking on the one-way door any less scary, it doesnt make you less wary of people generally, nor does having an initial interest in the more adventerous end of the sexual activities scale automatically make you 'a right goer' ready to jump straight in and do it.
True, true but the word is activities and not aspirations[/quote
Maybe she has understood it to mean 'activities' she would like to take part in?
Unknown User
Quote by Hillfolk
A lot of people like myself really want to be swingers but it's a little scary for newbies as you probably all remember yourselves.
If you're a single girl like myself it's a bit more scary because you have no one you know to hold you hand as you get there.
Half of me wants to meet up with lots of guys. The other half is scared of meeting mr psycho.

Just a little thing, you indicate in your profile your activities amongst which are anal, gangbangs, watersports and other stuff. ...and your scared of swinging??? C'mon girlie pull the other one
:shock:
Perhaps the 'activities' section is more an indication of what Jenny may be interested in and may be looking to indulge/ participate/ dip her toe in at some point once she feels comfortable here and within the scene??
Maybe, like many of us, Jenny has fantasies and things she'd like to experiment with - and has come here to our community looking for others who share her openmindedness??
But all that doesnt make arriving here, taking that big deep breath in and knocking on the one-way door any less scary, it doesnt make you less wary of people generally, nor does having an initial interest in the more adventerous end of the sexual activities scale automatically make you 'a right goer' ready to jump straight in and do it.
True, true but the word is activities and not aspirations
Ok ok "perhaps" she meant this and "perhaps" she meant that, but as is usual its not what is said.
"Perhaps" she might like to come back with a point of clarification...then again I really don't care.
I can't help feeling that women are always allowed the benefit of the doubt on these forums but as soon as a bloke slips up the wrath of the female community comes down on him. Kinda reflects real life eh?
Not at all, from my point of view I never look at the activities anyone is interested in unless I am interested in the person, so can't say I've taken much notice of what males or females list as their activities.
The greatest problem we find is with males claiming to be bi, when they aren't (but that's another thread). Don't think you can make it a straight male/female thing though..I mean where is the evidence?
The only thing I recall recently is a guy who posted something that implied he disapproved of 'gangbangs' when his profile listed them as one of his 'acitivites' that is clearly quite different from this situation, imho.
Unknown User
Quote by Hillfolk
A lot of people like myself really want to be swingers but it's a little scary for newbies as you probably all remember yourselves.
If you're a single girl like myself it's a bit more scary because you have no one you know to hold you hand as you get there.
Half of me wants to meet up with lots of guys. The other half is scared of meeting mr psycho.

Just a little thing, you indicate in your profile your activities amongst which are anal, gangbangs, watersports and other stuff. ...and your scared of swinging??? C'mon girlie pull the other one
:shock:
Perhaps the 'activities' section is more an indication of what Jenny may be interested in and may be looking to indulge/ participate/ dip her toe in at some point once she feels comfortable here and within the scene??
Maybe, like many of us, Jenny has fantasies and things she'd like to experiment with - and has come here to our community looking for others who share her openmindedness??
But all that doesnt make arriving here, taking that big deep breath in and knocking on the one-way door any less scary, it doesnt make you less wary of people generally, nor does having an initial interest in the more adventerous end of the sexual activities scale automatically make you 'a right goer' ready to jump straight in and do it.
True, true but the word is activities and not aspirations
Ok ok "perhaps" she meant this and "perhaps" she meant that, but as is usual its not what is said.
"Perhaps" she might like to come back with a point of clarification...then again I really don't care.
I can't help feeling that women are always allowed the benefit of the doubt on these forums but as soon as a bloke slips up the wrath of the female community comes down on him. Kinda reflects real life eh?
Not at all, from my point of view I never look at the activities anyone is interested in unless I am interested in the person, so can't say I've taken much notice of what males or females list as their activities.
The greatest problem we find is with males claiming to be bi, when they aren't (but that's another thread). Don't think you can make it a straight male/female thing though..I mean where is the evidence?
The only thing I recall recently is a guy who posted something that implied he disapproved of 'gangbangs' when his profile listed them as one of his 'acitivites' that is clearly quite different from this situation, imho.
This is all about thoughts feelings and opinion. Now I've got to find evidence doh!
Just speaking from personal opinion, of course, but, as everyone knows, there are many more blokes than women on here. Therefore, the blokes get more desperate and, for whatever reason, have been known (on occasion wink ) to fabricate a few things about themselves. Not saying, at all, that females and couples never do the same, it's just that the law of averages means it's going to happen far less often and they, for the obvious reasons, have less need to do it anyway. If we are honest, most females can get a shag, if they are desperate, just by being female :wink:
Unknown User
Quote by flidais-media
If we are honest, most females can get a shag, if they are desperate, just by being female wink

if this is correct then its obvious to me that they are only likely to get a shag from a desperate man........ whose apparently gonna be less than truthful in the first place.
i happen to think that another reason why the men on this site have a tendancy to bullshit is that they are increasingly told to "give a little more information about themselves" when plainly most of us thought it was initially acceptable to post something like
"male 35, Manchester, great dick any woman fancy having sex with me"...
otherwise they wouldnt be able to stand out from the crowd...
So, in the circumstances where they have had to embellish things to get responses, and thereafter embellish things further in the hope that they might get the opportunity of a meet...
i firmly believe that they sometimes see the error of their ways and cancell rather that end up plastered over the forums as a liar and a cheat etc.
Unknown User
Quote by DeeCee
If we are honest, most females can get a shag, if they are desperate, just by being female wink

if this is correct then its obvious to me that they are only likely to get a shag from a desperate man........ whose apparently gonna be less than truthful in the first place.
i happen to think that another reason why the men on this site have a tendancy to bullshit is that they are increasingly told to "give a little more information about themselves" when plainly most of us thought it was initially acceptable to post something like
"male 35, Manchester, great dick any woman fancy having sex with me"...
otherwise they wouldnt be able to stand out from the crowd...
So, in the circumstances where they have had to embellish things to get responses, and thereafter embellish things further in the hope that they might get the opportunity of a meet...
i firmly believe that they sometimes see the error of their ways and cancell rather that end up plastered over the forums as a liar and a cheat etc.
Hmm, but surely when asked to say more about themselves people mean the truth, not to make up something that isn't true?
As for the women getting a shag thing, my point was just to say, with the ratio of male to female on this site it is always going to be easier for a female to meet a male than the other way round, that's just the 'law of averages' isn't it? biggrin
Unknown User
Quote by Hillfolk
Ok ok "perhaps" she meant this and "perhaps" she meant that, but as is usual its not what is said.
"Perhaps" she might like to come back with a point of clarification...then again I really don't care.
I can't help feeling that women are always allowed the benefit of the doubt on these forums but as soon as a bloke slips up the wrath of the female community comes down on him. Kinda reflects real life eh?

well me being an example of a person who does this i didnt just decide to be mean to single guys one day. Many (not a minority) of single guys are awful to the women on these sites and when they meet up with them. Why do you think there are so few single women here & so many of the couples ads are shouting out no single guys couples only.
The ladies are so few not because they have low sex drive i can garuntee you that! women when treated with dignity & respect can become ravenous, but most of what the single guys act like on here & in real life is just like giving them a cold shower & a slap across the face.