are not all these words all just labels,forgive me if i`m wrong.
but as long as your happy with as many partners as you want yourself,then thats all that matters.
are you really asking can you feel heart felt thoughts for more than one person?
Lables are good - if not overused - they promote self understanding and allow you to organise confused and disparate wishes into an achievable reality.
There are many on here who find some level of emotional attachment as an essential part of their swinging, others feel the same about emotionally 'detached' swinging.
When there is some level of emotional attachment, there is always a risk of possesiveness, if not outright jealousy, developing. Swinging should probably be about being able to care enough about a person that ego is put aside, and you can relax in the simple enjoyment of someone elses pleasure.
But then, it is not a perfect world. All relationships involve some level of compromise, and swinging relationships are no different. I can't say that Kit and I have ever encountered any level of posseiveness that made us uncomfortable. It may be that this is something that is more of a risk for the single swinger joining a couple?
lhk
Kat
Well, we came to swinging via poly, and I think that there's a lot of overlap between the two areas - after all many swingers like to have some emotional contact between partners, and some poly people I've known are more likely to be found on the swinging scene.
This is just another example of labelling, as far as I'm concerned - sexuality is a continuum, and a lot of people fall into an area of that continuum where the definite labels of swinging or poly don't necessarily apply.
Obviously, people change, and they may move about a bit on that continuum, so sometimes they feel more poly, and sometimes they feel more swingy. Or sometimes, they may label themselves as 'swinger', only to find that they like the emotional side of things so much that they can redefine themselves as poly - as Rainbows appears to have done - (or, of course, it may happen the other way).
If anyone is thinking about poly, googling 'uk' and 'poly' will get you some results. I organise a London poly group - PM me, if anyone wants further advice.
I have spent a couple of days thinking about this thead, not sure whether to reply or not but here goes nothing.
We spent most of last year in a relationship with another couple, it got pretty intense and as you say when we swung with other soutside of the relationship it felt very much like cheating. The other couple didnt meet anyone else at all and werent aware we did. The came to us for the summer holiday last summer and we had planned to do a holiday abroad this year.........
However when the situation arose that we couldnt make one of our meets - I had started work, hubby had just had a testicular biopsy - and yes it as sore as it sounds - and I had a colpsocopy the situation with this other couple turned really ugly.
They sent us a really horrid email abusing us and slating our performance in bed etc.
The result was that for a very long time e definately couldnt swing again - although I like many others continued to use the site for the community of people I am lucky enough to call friends - and it actually made us bitter for a while.
So I guess what I am saying is enjoy the wonderfulness of your situation but please bear in mind people change and things are contiuosly moving along.
All the best
Olive
Is Polyamoury the next village to Balamory????????????
equi-princess xxx
One of the things that the poly community always advise is discussion of issues with total honesty and openness. Things are only going to get complicated if you're hiding aspects of yourself and your relationships from other people who are involved with you. Little lies turn into big ones - and before you know it, people are exploding all over the place!
This is one of the reasons why 'poly' is so hard to do. Not many people have the experience in dealing with more than one person in a relationship, and not many people are actually very good at being totally honest - and also, some people are not very good at hearing the truth!
I would certainly advise honesty, and lots of talking, in any poly relationship - it's the only way to make sure that everyone knows where they stand, and leads to less complications.
I was at a conference a few months ago and I attended a talk given about polyamoury (however it is spelt) by someone who was in a polyamourous relationship. I did talk about it on another thread, asking people if they had ever heard of the special terminology that people on poly newsgroups, as they could be applied to swinging relatioships too. People on here didn't seem to have heard of them, so I assume that poly people have kept their terms to themselves. I can't remember the terms now and I would root out the thread if I had more time. Anyways, that talk did make me think as some of what she was talking about (trust etc) was very relevant to swinging couples too even if they do not strike up actual relationship with those they swing with.
Anyways, waffling now... but just saying again what an interesting topic this is :P
There are comments made about clubs being clique-y which makes me wonder at the Ground rules set between People involved in an inter emotionally involved relationship,or a group of nsa swingers that play within their own group ranks within a club.
The nsa group i can understand, because just as we all have a close circle of friends around us that we socialize with on the outside , so it can be with club swinging which a newbie would pick up on,and feel left out .In time they might form their own group of trusted friends, and perhaps just stick with them, or integrate with the regulars.
I feel the ground rules of emotionally group involved people are set on shifting sands that can lead to extra complications, and eventual failure.
Think i'll stick with nsa swinging.
cc_7up
. But I also met a couple through the ads on here, who I have been seeing now for almost a year - and it has become more of a poly relationship than anything else. To be honest - I am very happy with them and do feel like I am in a relationship with them, and that swinging outside of that relationship would be "cheating". Has anyone else experienced this?
ops: :oops: 
That relationship finished when I kinda got bored and started seeing someone else, and for a short while I had three on the go..... it got a bit much :grin: . But none of those relationships were exclusive.... one guy was married :oops: , and the other shagged around like a bunny rabbit on steroids :grin: 
