Poorly completed profile pages

Hi everyone! Some help please.

I'm new on here (about a week) and (mostly because of the great people I am meeting in the chatrooms and the friendly fun vibe) I am loving it.

However one thing I getting a growing beef with, is people putting conflicting info in their profiles.

This wastes a lot of time, and is frutrating. I would describe myself as a straight guy, but tending towards bi-curious, a) because I do genuinely wonder what it would feel liket to suck a cock, and b) because I'm into panty wearing and enjoy looking at cocks in panties. So I've put myself as Bi-Curious in my profile as I think that's being most accurate and honest.

I have also listed myself as Married, because... well, I am. I's a single male account and it's only me doing this, so I suppose I could have put myself down as single, but I didn't because... well, I'm not!

There are loads of profiles for women and couples where they say "no single males please" but then they select numerous options in the "seeking" section for "... male" ( as opposed to couple with ....male).

That's going to cause confusion right?! There are plenty of options to choose from. How is it so difficult?

Thanks

Couldn't agree with you more on the latter point - "NO SINGLE MALES"...... "Seeking : every possible variety of male"

Definitely a bone (if you will pardon the expression!) of contention with me also! 

There have been several explanations offered as to why this shouldn't cause any confusion, but to me it is thoroughly ambiguous. One favourite was that the profile owner reserves the right to, essentially, cover all bases for future development and changes in taste - notwithstanding the fact that profiles can be edited at the drop of a hat, as many times as necessary.

Then, of course, when a supposedly inappropriate approach is made, then it's the "let's pile on the Terrible Single Men, because they don't seem to be able to understand what we are looking for" schtick.

We can't win - rant over.

It's certainly not just males whose profiles are rubbish or misleading.  They do get complained about more here though because single male profiles here greatly outnumber females/couples so the problem is more frequent.

Sometimes the issue may just be a genuine oversight or a change in circumstances (perhaps temporary) which leads to a contradiction in profile content.  However, we regularly get guys contacting us who say they're straight but whose profiles/profile comments/groups/stated interests etc show them to be bi/bi-curious.  That's both contradictory and deliberately misleading.

Quote by osemlover

Sometimes the issue may just be a genuine oversight or a change in circumstances (perhaps temporary) which leads to a contradiction in profile content.  However, we regulalry get guys contacting us who say they're straight but whose profiles/profile comments/groups/stated interests etc show them to be bi/bi-curious.  That's both contradictory and deliberately misleading.

I got a blunt reply telling me that it wasn't my place to tell them what it was they were looking for, and that they had deliberately added "straight male" in their seeking criteria, to ensure that if couples responded, they would be sure that the guy in the couple wouldn't try sucking their cock.

So just select "straight couple" then, as opposed to "couple with bi male". Is it that hard to understand and get right?!

I've been on here a couple of weeks and I've already got the hang of it.

Quote by DaddiBear

Quote by osemlover

Sometimes the issue may just be a genuine oversight or a change in circumstances (perhaps temporary) which leads to a contradiction in profile content.  However, we regulalry get guys contacting us who say they're straight but whose profiles/profile comments/groups/stated interests etc show them to be bi/bi-curious.  That's both contradictory and deliberately misleading.

It's not always an oversight though. I sent what I thought was a helpful message to one such "no single males please" member telling them they could update their profile to help provide more suitable matches, and flter out single males.

I got a blunt reply telling me that it wasn't my place to tell them what it was they were looking for, and that they had deliberately added "straight male" in their seeking criteria, to ensure that if couples responded, they would be sure that the guy in the couple wouldn't try sucking their cock.

So just select "straight couple" then, as opposed to "couple with bi male". Is it that hard to understand and get right?!

I've been on here a couple of weeks and I've already got the hang of it.

There's no need to call someone out because his/her/their profile doesn't meet a standard you are requiring, just walk on by. 

You might have been on here a couple of weeks, but I'm pretty sure you have an awful lot to learn!!

Quote by Mal
To be fair, what did you expect? If you walked into a pub where no-one knew you and walked up to a guy and told him he had buttoned up his shirt the wrong way, what do you think his reaction would be? Second word would likely be 'off', the first one, probably 'fuck'!

There's no need to call someone out because his/her/their profile doesn't meet a standard you are requiring, just walk on by. 

You might have been on here a couple of weeks, but I'm pretty sure you have an awful lot to learn!!

Yes, maybe my post was a bit flippant, and you're absolutely right about the response I'd get if I said that in a pub! I do feel though that this is slightly different. Isn't the point of the "matching" function to highlight from amongst the thousands of users, those which I might be best suited to, by placing together the sort of person I describe myself as wtih the sort of person others are looking for? Maybe I've got that wrong?

A computer can't replace the human element of finding someone who you'll have a connection with, which is why I feel that the more accurate one is with their wants and needs, the more successful they will be in finding a match.

Rather than a pub full of people I liken it more to searching for a car on Auto Trader. If I set up a search for a new motor, and I'm absolutely sure that I don't want a fully electric, why would I tick the boxes for: petrol, diesel, full hybrid, plug-in hybrid, AND fully electric? That's sure to generate a list of unsuitable matches!

That said, I have also noticed that I've been getting "xxx is a match" in my feed, only to discover when viewing their profile that they are looking for Straight couple, Couple with bi female or Straight female, so that couldn't be further from a match! How does the matching function actually work? Does anyone know?

Would hate to think I was calling someone out, just trying to be helpful.

I do indeed have a lot to learn, the first thing being not to expect to much and go with the flow a bit more! 😊

Quote by DaddiBear

Quote by osemlover

Sometimes the issue may just be a genuine oversight or a change in circumstances (perhaps temporary) which leads to a contradiction in profile content.  However, we regulalry get guys contacting us who say they're straight but whose profiles/profile comments/groups/stated interests etc show them to be bi/bi-curious.  That's both contradictory and deliberately misleading.

It's not always an oversight though. I sent what I thought was a helpful message to one such "no single males please" member telling them they could update their profile to help provide more suitable matches, and flter out single males.

I got a blunt reply telling me that it wasn't my place to tell them what it was they were looking for, and that they had deliberately added "straight male" in their seeking criteria, to ensure that if couples responded, they would be sure that the guy in the couple wouldn't try sucking their cock.

So just select "straight couple" then, as opposed to "couple with bi male". Is it that hard to understand and get right?!

I've been on here a couple of weeks and I've already got the hang of it.

Quote by osemlover
 I know, that's why I cited examples of where it's been deliberate.  ;)

I think when you are searching manually, it does pretty much work, so maybe that actually uses the contents of the database correctly, rather than implementing some pseudo-AI.

I tend to think of profiles like the SH version of CV's- mostly if you've got a badly crafted one, then it will probably get the kind of treatment a bad CV would get, i.e. the "round-file" Although in common with CV's again, even a really badly completed one might work if you're somehow exceptional!

I honestly think you can tell a lot about people from their profiles, but by no means everything. 

My views given above are by no means universal, or even correct as far as a lot of people are concerned, but its how I tend to view them and by that I mean read, not just look at the pictures!) 

The thing about profiles is that if they're not accurate it doesn't take long to find that out. Those who tend to make the biggest mistakes are those who hurry the process of chatting and meeting. That's always likely to end badly. If everyone took a little time to chat and get to know the people they're chatting to they'd be far more likely to discover whose profiles are misleading and whose are not. Insisting on social only first meetings also helps to avoid mistakes and offers an important opportunity to decide if the person in front of you lives up to what they've told you or whether the alarm bells start ringing. In the latter case, hear those bells and walk away with nothing lost and no regrets...

Quote by osemlover

The thing about profiles is that if they're not accurate it doesn't take long to find that out. Those who tend to make the biggest mistakes are those who hurry the process of chatting and meeting. That's always likely to end badly. If everyone took a little time to chat and get to know the people they're chatting to they'd be far more likely to discover whose profiles are misleading and whose are not. Insisting on social only first meetings also helps to avoid mistakes and offers an important opportunity to decide if the person in front of you lives up to what they'd told you or whether the alarm bells start ringing. In the latter case, here those bells and walk away with nothing lost and no regrets...