Pre-meet drinks/coffee/whatever

16 Nov 2008

For those of you who organise a pre-meet meeting with potential play mates (i.e. meeting up for drinks or coffee or something before you agree to actually get down to the good stuff :rascal smile

what exactly do you talk about?
I've always wondered if, when I'm out at the pub or in Starbucks or something, are there couples or groups of folk at the tables around me thrashing out rules for their swinging meets... :twisted:
So, how does it go? Do you all say "these are my rules" and then try to reach a consensus? Is it more a full-on flirt-fest and you're just testing the chemistry?
When I've done it, it's been a mixture of the two: some rule setting and lots of flirting.
So, what's on your pre-meet meeting agenda?

16 Nov 2008

I've certainly done it in Starbucks (thrashing out the rules - not the actual thrashing round).
More often the rules have been set before the pre-meet meet.
Usually it's some embarrassed half conversation about the traffic and the weather until someone (probably me) says something like, "Shall we?".

16 Nov 2008

I like to chat on msn first and discuss all the nitty gritty, likes and dislikes etc and see if we sound compatible. If we do then we arrange a social meet somewhere but talk mostly of other things. I try not to talk sex then as it has to be done in hushed tones so generally stick to friendly stuff but if we get on then arrange a date to meet again.
The second meet of course is a different matter :twisted:

16 Nov 2008

See I was wondering that... I usually get my expectations/rules etc sorted out on the phone/email or whatever too. The only time I have ever done it in person at a pre meet 'meeting' was when it was a specific role-play type of scene that I was looking for and needed to check that we were both very much on the same wavelength before I agreed to go ahead.
It's just that a lot of people seem to discuss meeting for a drink or whatever prior to a meet, and I always wonder what the conversation is like...
I'm just nosey I guess! rolleyes

16 Nov 2008

I've never had a pre meet meeting as such...
The very few meets I have had from here have all happened or been arranged after meeting at munches or socials and so all concerned know pretty much what the state of play is....
I dont know if I could cope with the nervousness(sp) of a pre meet meeting :shock:
I would most likely be a jibbering wreck and make no sense at all shut up at the back :lol2:

16 Nov 2008

We just like to see what a person is like in real life..all the chatting on msn in the world does not matter in the slightest to what they could be like in real life
So even though we may have discussed all the nitty gritty before hand I need to look soneone right in the eye and see for myself of they can talk about the same things in real life lol

Also a fair amount of flirting will go ahead but generally its a swapping of experiences good or bad and to see if there is any chemistry between us all,if theres no chemistry then there is no pressure to take it further and that is something that is made clear before hand

16 Nov 2008

So far we have'nt done the pre meet drinks thing. The first time it was relatively local so we booked a lovely hotel and the 3 of us went for a meal at it's restaurant and we sort of decided through the meal. Of course we had talked loads on chat, phone and MSN first though.
The second time we travelled a long way and so did the other person so I did feel slightly worried that we might waste her time...but again we had talked loads so were pretty sure before the event... funny thing is we talked loads on the night too so it was nearly morning before we had stopped swapping knitting patterns etc rolleyes

Another time we were with a few people socially and it just happened redface

xxx

16 Nov 2008

I met up with someone (not from here) and we had a friendly chat on the phone. We met up socially a few times first. On the first meet we found a secluded coffee place and had a quite frank but very friendly chat about likes, dislikes etc. We both knew that the bottom line of our meeting up was for sex so we dealt with "rules" thing straight away.
We both felt afterward that this had been the right approach as we put each other at ease very quickly. The subsequent socially meets gave us sometime to get to know each other a bit more. When we did have sex it was wonderfully relaxed and full of laughter and smiles.
Good luck with your meet Nola and I hope those horrid spots have gone.

16 Nov 2008

I've only played with people that I know quite well or having met up at a munch (where talking is virtually impossible so you sort out the rules by sign language wink

)
In my experience when people from on here get together the first topic if conversation is this place and the people on it.
.

16 Nov 2008

most times sorted ie msn then we like to meet up chat and see if we click then sort out another day to meet up for fun

16 Nov 2008

Quote by TheLovelyOne
I've certainly done it in Starbucks (thrashing out the rules - not the actual thrashing round).

Every time I pass Starbucks in town now, I'm gonna be scouring the place for lovely ones. silly

hwoar:
(Gizza clue - Queen St, St Mary St or The Hayes?)
.

16 Nov 2008

Quote by Aristophanes
Good luck with your meet Nola and I hope those horrid spots have gone.

Cheers for that - but it's not a meet. I'm crossing over to the dark side... it's a vanilla date!
Eeeek! :shock:

16 Nov 2008

Quote by noladreams30
Good luck with your meet Nola and I hope those horrid spots have gone.

Cheers for that - but it's not a meet. I'm crossing over to the dark side... it's a vanilla date!
Eeeek! :shock:
Well in that case you can ask him/her to squeeze it for you.... bolt

.

16 Nov 2008

Quote by westerross
Good luck with your meet Nola and I hope those horrid spots have gone.

Cheers for that - but it's not a meet. I'm crossing over to the dark side... it's a vanilla date!
Eeeek! :shock:
Well in that case you can ask him/her to squeeze it for you.... bolt

.
Eeeeuuuugh, where's the vomit emoticon?!

16 Nov 2008

I had a pre-meet drinks with a lovely guy who happens to be into ropes and stuff. We'd been chatting about meeting up and 'having fun' etc. At a pause in the convo he turned to me and announced "God I really want to get you tied up". The two guys sitting across the way from us (who had been earwigging fairly obviously) nearly bit through their glasses :giggle:

16 Nov 2008

I like to have a pre meet meeting for several reasons.....
you can get a better feeling for someone than you can do on MSN..... plus 1st meets for playing can be quite awkward, so it is more of a "getting to know you" session for me...
If I am meeting a couple.... you can tell whether they are both happy, rather than one people pushing more than the other, I was suprised with the amount of people did it more to please partner than getting much out of it themselves...

16 Nov 2008

Quote by westerross
(Gizza clue - Queen St, St Mary St or The Hayes?)

Usually the larger of the two Queen Street ones!

16 Nov 2008

I use to, normally to check they would turn up!! then talked about anything and everything.

16 Nov 2008

Quote by Sarah
....then talked about anything and everything.

Now that I can believe!! :giggle: kiss

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16 Nov 2008

Quote by westerross
....then talked about anything and everything.

Now that I can believe!! :giggle: kiss

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ops: :oops:

16 Nov 2008

nola want some extra cream on your large choca?

16 Nov 2008

who pays for the coffee... and will there be muffin?
lp

16 Nov 2008

I love muffin and only share if the pay off is worth it.

16 Nov 2008

a muffin shared is a muffin halved
...and I have absolutely no idea why I said that.
lp

16 Nov 2008

Cos its true?