Though i realise that the issue of parenting is a difficult one as there is no specific qualification or government standards etc, Is the government actually marginalising the role of parents with the bringing on of 'professional' into family life.
Are the initiatives such as sure start, Everychild matters and childrens centres bringing in the start of the corporate family? I think that although the idea of helping people who need it with their children is a noble one. I cant help feeling that in these directions this is a 'social' loss rather than gain. The robbing of identity and uniqueness. A brave new world?
If the alternative is parenting that leaves people exhausted, without support, direction less, hopeless and eventually children who are lacking in basic skills socially, educationally, emotionally etc. Then yes, they are a great thing.
There are many many parents who struggle for many reasons, their own upbringing was far from satisfactory, their understanding of how to parent constructively is lacking, they have little or no support from their family or friends etc. They benefit hugely from 'professional parenting' although your terminology is incorrect. These agencies are supportservices. They supportthe parents. They are valuable and indispensable.
I would say that uniqueness is inherent and would lead us to the nature/nurture debate rather than a debate about 'professional parenting'
As for 'Every Child Matters' that is a document for everyone to understand that indeed - every child matters. It is not just for professionals it is for everyone to use to support them in understanding that children have rights. It forces lay people to look at their culpability when their next door neighbour is abusing their children and they stand by and allow it to go unreported amongst many other area's of guidance.
I don't consider myself to be a parent of problem children. I'm just an ordinary working Mum with an average income and a balanced family life. However twice in fairly recent years I have had cause to seek advice over issues that my eldest son has had because my parenting skills were at a loss at what to do for the best and I was at the end of my tether. Both times I recieved help and support that helped in a positive way.
I agree that in many areas "the government" or "society" itself has made parenting very difficult by making things ok that didn't used to be ok or in some cases the other way around. However in some areas such as child abuse these changes have been necessary for children who need to, to speak out.
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I'm very lucky to have wonderful children so have never needed help, but I think its a good idea to have help available to those parents who come up against problems that they find it difficult to deal with.
I think some parents may take this as an insult to their parenting skills but I see it more as an olive branch....
Every Child Matters was created as government policy for a reason - based upon a wide range of services supporting children and families not working closely enough together to ensure that children didnt slip through the beaucracy gaps in information sharing.
The principles behind the policy are, as Splendid says, about every child. Its more about preventative measures than about trying to resolve problems after the event. The Sure Start Chilrens Centre were set up as one small part of trying to look at what the real issues are. The policy is looking to support children, young people and their families.
I have seen through the world of my ex how services in the past before ECM do not work together. His daughter had 9 different services working to 'help' when she ran away at the age of 13. None of them shared data and in the end none of them actually helped. This was not about the individuals who all wanted to help - just the systems at the time lent themselves to working in silos.
Big brother is with us now and that will not ever go away. Corporate parenting is an interesting concept as in a way we have a corporate education system through the national curriculum. We live in a world where morals and values are accepted as part of our different cultures - whether I agree with them or not. I think the 5 core values of Every Child Matters - Be safe, Healthy, Enjoy and achieve,Make a positive contribution, Achieve economic well - are things I can buy into.
I would never defend bad services or taking away the rights of parents to be just that but I do believe when we have chidren we do not 'own' them as commodities. They are lives that need protecting and I am just glad mine have all grown up safely.
Hear what you're saying Corrie and I agree - my daughter is training to be a pharmacy technician rather than doing a degree (on the advice of lots of people, including myself). However, my son is now seriously considering an engineering degree and we're supporting him on that route. I went back to university as a mature student and I'm doing OK. What works for one person, doesn't work for another.
My sister has two young children, both very bright and when her eldest daughter went up to secondary school she found it, put simply "boring". Despite being in the top sets, in one of the best schools in the area she wasn't being challenged... and started finding other activities to keep her amused...
The school didn't contact my sister when her daughter started skipping school, in fact she had missed over three-quartes of a term before my sister found out about it... by then her daughter had taken up smoking, been drinking alcohol and even experimented with drugs... at the age of 11-12 years...
My sister HAD noticed something was wrong, she had asked the school, who instead of mentioning that she actually hadn't been attending simply said she was keeping up with her classes (and she was, despite not being there), her doctor refused to help, saying she !semmed ok" to him, meanwhile her daughter was becoming more and more aggressive and un-caring...
By the time the whole story came out, my sister was pulling her hair out, she had been to the school, social services, her doctor, charities and even the police... NO-ONE would help...
Its a year later now, and finally she has managed to get her daughter off the cigarettes, alcohol and drugs, we actually took her into our own home for 9 weeks (we live 200 miles away) to get her away from the youngsters she was mixing with and give her some time with no chance of getting hold of the alcohol etc... She has moved now, from Lancashire to eastbourne and the fresh start has hopefully helped, but where was the help then? Would this really help those in this sort of position? Or once again only those well-known trouble makers who ALREADY have social workers, ASBO's and police family support workers?
Her daughter although going off the rails, did so quietly, without being an outright nuisance to her neighbours or being vicious to others outside the family, and therefore wasn't classed as a problem... I don't see that changing, and yet its for these families that need the help...
You need a licence to drive a car, go fishing, ride a motorbike and own a gun, but anyone can be a parent.
Just thinking aloud.
having had help from the above mentioned place and elsewhere i have to say they are a very good idea. some people do not need there help others though do need it and sometimes its not a question of parenting, these places are first and foremost for the children not matter of their background or upbringing or parentage
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