Protection

11 Jun 2006

Reading HLB's thread about pregnancy has triggered off a memory of a conversation a few friends in the swinging scene had the other day.
It seems when it comes to protection, people saythat they use it and wouldn't do anything without it but actually when it comes to the crunch, it isn't used as much as it's said it is.
I've been in situations where it isn't even thought about by the male. I've been told of situations where it wasn't even thought about by the female, yet in both situations the other person had claimed "I always use protection".
It does seem that a lot of people in the scene don't actually use protection. I'm not talking about long term partners or married couples, I'm talking about when swinging with others.
Countless excuses are used: I was too drunk, I've had the snip, they cost too much, it's not as good with a condom on etc etc
To me, those excuses are just not on. Or any other excuse for that matter.
I don't fancy putting myself at risk just for a bit of a fumble with someone. I have more respect for myself than that. Hence why condom's are a must when swinging. I openly admit, I don't use them when I have a long term partner (swinging or otherwise), never have done but I do ensure I get myself tested and we have an agreement and trust in place to make sure that agreement is stuck to. i.e when swinging with someone else, condoms are used.
I can't remember the point of this thread now.... It's gone out of my head! lol

Er, I think it was just a warning that what someone says and what they do can sometimes be something entirely different. Respect for yourself and the others in this scene is important, as without it we all have the potential to be diseased! :lol: (Sorry, not funny eh?!)
biggrin

11 Jun 2006

Quote by onlyme1981
I can't remember the point of this thread now.... It's gone out of my head!

:lol:

:lol:
Shaz x

11 Jun 2006

Even though you can't remember the point of your thread honey. we have to agree with your initial thoughts.
But it brings us back to the old age question as to how far do you go with safe sex.
For instance:
Do you make sure the guy has a condom on before you give a blow job. ?
Do you have a femidom on before the guy goes down on you?
Do you play use condoms on all your toys when you play?
and lastly, do you play safe with same sex?
I think there is still a fair few people )us being two of them) that do play safe, to a limit. Does the guy I'm giving a BJ have a condom on. Answer No/ So am I being irresponsible.
Do I wear a femidom before another fem or bloke goes down on me. Answer No. Again am I being irresponsible.
The question of safe sex is always coming up in our community. I personally think that you should always play safe and basically get health check regualrly.
Now, I've lost the gist of what I was trying to say.................
Oh well Ill just have to have another glass of wine.
Mrs Tigs

11 Jun 2006

Quote by tigersgobounce69
The question of safe sex is always coming up in our community. I personally think that you should always play safe and basically get health check regualrly.

I might get a little flak for this, but . . . . . . .
I actually think that's a very under used piece of advise.
Sometimes I think, more than the whole condom/femidon issue.

11 Jun 2006

Quote by dambuster

The question of safe sex is always coming up in our community. I personally think that you should always play safe and basically get health check regualrly.

I might get a little flak for this, but . . . . . . .
I actually think that's a very under used piece of advise.
Sometimes I think, more than the whole condom/femidon issue.
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

12 Jun 2006

What nobody has mentioned is that safe sex for 'lesbians' is a different issue to using a femidom - femidoms only serve to stop semen going for a swim! biggrin

In the gay community safe sex for women in encouraged by using clingfilm - yes clingfilm (or a dental damn if you have a place to get them.)
If you think about it if you ask a guy to wear a condom before giving him a blowjob would you go down on a woman without 'protection'? If you would, why? It's no different as there are still secretions and things like Herpes are caught by skin to skin contact and let's not even talk about thrush! :shock:
I never go down on a woman on the first date and as Dammie said regular health checks are a must!
Copied from a safe sex website
"Dental Dams, Keep it safe, keep it satisfying! A dental dam is a square piece of latex placed over the vulva or anus during oral sex to prevent exchange of body fluids. Latex Dental Dams are made for oral sex and help to give sweet taste to tantalizing. The 5.5" x 3.5" x package provides 10 individual dams with two of each flavor. The flavors are Vanilla, Banana, Grape, Strawberry, and Mint. It's not the size of the dam, it's the power behind it!"
When some people in the forums are talking about safe sex it only really seems about the pregnancy issue which worries me a little.

12 Jun 2006

Quote by dambuster

The question of safe sex is always coming up in our community. I personally think that you should always play safe and basically get health check regualrly.

I might get a little flak for this, but . . . . . . .
I actually think that's a very under used piece of advise.
Sometimes I think, more than the whole condom/femidon issue.
Totally agree. Unfortunatley it is still viewed by many as being embarressing to visit "The clap clinic" which is an attitude that needs to change.
Women are quite happy (ok not exactley skipping down the road) to go for a smear every few years, but how many people go to the GUM clinic for a regular check up?
Sexual health is extremely important, especially as Swingers, as all it takes is a condom to split for an infection to be passed on. Many infections can be present without any syptoms showing i.e. Chlamydia which can lead to infertility if untreated.
A very good resource for STI's can be found here:

Please bookmark it and have a read through when you have time. Some of the figures are frightening but as the old advert said (I'm just old enough to remember it) "don't die of ignorance"
Les x

12 Jun 2006

:thumbup:
Excellent advice. Has to be condoms here although we don't use dams, but having said that if we were asked to we would. Morb has had the snip but unfortunately I have no other contraception means so would NEVER play without, the risk of infection does figure here highly too biggrin

Our local GUM clinic is quite nice, friendly and there are no judgements passed, they'd rather you went that didn't through embarrassment.
Cx

12 Jun 2006

Thanks for posting this thread because you've brought up some issues which I never even considered and I feel really embarrased about my ignorance.
I've only really though that you need to take precautions when your having anal or vaginal sex... i didnt even think of the rest.
Thank god I read this before even having a meet, thanks folks xxx

13 Jun 2006

at the end of the day it simply boils down to "how much risk are we / me / you prepared to accept"
Don't forget that even the magical condom is not 100% effective against a disease that is 100% fatal.
Abstinence or monogomy is, we understand, pretty effective.
As with most things in life these days it is your obligation to minimise or eradicate the risk wherever possible.
confused

13 Jun 2006

it worries me that ppl use it more i am new to the scenne and not once have i not use any thing even though woman have ask me not to.
" i was drunk" dont drink and swing then