There's probably as many answers to this as there are members on the site. It a perennial question on nearly all sites and forums.
I suppose it comes down to the usual general answer - "the more you put in the more you get out".
Like many others, we are members on 'other' sites and suffer the same problems there as you are on SH. We don't usually have a problem on here as we spend the greater proportion of our time in the SH community, so know those who are genuine and appeal to us and we take time to nurture those relationships online before physically meeting.
We were given some very good advice many moons ago from a swinging friend that has held us in good stead ever since:-
1 - Always know what you want.
2 - Never jump in too early.
3 - Focus your efforts on those that meet your requirements.
4 - Always read their profile.
5 - Contribute to build credibility.
6 - Be tolerant of others 'preferences'
7 - Nothing happens overnight, so expect nothing and when it does it's a bonus.
We registered on another site only a few weeks back probably one of the ones mentioned above. In general, far more activity, far more reply to messages sent, people message us :shock: that never happens here except single guys. On this site we have managed to organize 3-4 one on one meets over a number of years and they all canceled or didn't turn up. In three weeks on the other site we have people waiting to meet us loads of party invites offers of lifts etc etc just goes on and on. Had three couples we could have met this weekend and have one meet arranged. Of course no guarantee they will turn up but we are pretty certain they will. All hail some advice from good friends and the dullard threads that pushed us to look else where.
I'm not saying this with my mod head on, rather with my single girl head on.
I have been a member here for nearly 5 years and I, briefly, joined another site about 2 years ago. On the other site I was bombarded by mail from guys wanting meets. As soon as I would log in my mailbox was full & I was hassled for not responding before I'd even had a chance to open their first mails. I arranged one meet. It was very much fuck and go & the whole experience felt very meat-market ish.
I decided to stick to what I know.
I think what I notice the most is that here people tend to behave themselves and on other sites they are themselves.
Far better swinging community on SH than other sites and the meets have mostly been of a more reliable and quality nature for us. This isn't to say we've not had success from other sites, we have but its a far more hit and miss affair. As sites go, though I do have issues with SH becoming far to complicated, but that could be my ineptitude as much as anything else.
The other sites tend to be much more, as Nola put it, f*ck and go, Which is ok but if, as so many profiles state on here, if it's more than just a fuck wanted, then SH beats the rest into a cocked hat. And as swinging for us is more than just picking someone out of a hat and f*cking them then f*cking off this place has far more more going for it.
This is as I see it:
Pros of SH
1) SH - More people in the chatrooms than any other site
2) SH - Lets you to open your own chatrooms
3) SH - Far superior cam facilities for those on or watching cams
4) SH - far better looking & clearer chatroom layout
5) SH - Far better room moderators/(OP's) in general
6) SH - Infinitely superior social network (though thats more to do with it's members)
7) SH - Profiles are far better arranged and easier to understand at a glance
8) SH - Forums are better than other sites in quality and looks (Although quiet as are many at prsent.
9) SH - Probably has the most comprehensive and best gallery of all Swing sites.
10 SH - Video uploading facility
Cons of SH
1) SH - Search facility is crazy,cumbersome and user unfriendly compared to some sites
2) SH - It's a little expensive for some members (though thats subjective to what you get out of it)
3) SH - Multiroom occupation as a positive to the chatrooms. No one can communicate/chat effectively in more than one room at a time. OK for the members just wabting to watch cams but short sited not to realise it will lead to less chatroom users as there will be less chatting.
4) SH - Shrep, I should take time out to suss it but lifes too short.
And that's sbout it I reckon
Thanks for the replies. The emphasis does tend to lean towards the positives of SH being, social and better cam rooms. All good things i admit. However and I hope this doesnt label me, to quote one reply as 'fuck and fuck off' but for me if there isnt an end game after the initial drinks and chats making sure we all like each other then really whats the raison d'etre of the site? Perhaps as I dont wish to engage in the social side as much as many of you that leaves me somewhat out in the cold, although i must ask even with all the socialising what are you hoping for from the site? its a genuine question.
I do find it slightly hard to get on board with the ' you get out of it as much as you put into it' Im afraid this is pure esacapism, if it means grinding out hours and hours looking for someone to meet then surely that detracts from the expererience. in comparrison with other sites I like the fact that I can put a 'id like to meet' and get a few responses, not always i admit, sometimes its defintaly cue tumbleweed :-).
Agree with the search function comments and also the IM function, Id hazard that some serious code work needs to be done with this part of the site as its frustrating and labororious. and also maybe as with other sites making it possible for couples who dont like to be contacted by single guys to a) block them b) show the guys that their attention is not wanted rather than the rather tedious Capitals of NO SINGLE GUYS. Personally as a single guy the last thing I want is to contact couples/singles who dont wish to be contacted.
Ironically enough I think we're all saying the same thing here, although it appears we have differing success on either here or on other sites. Nothing is less appealing than receiving a monosylabic mail with 'fancy a shag', not polishing my own halo but Id quit swinging altogether if I couldnt manage something a bit more entertaining than that virtual potato print type message :-)
Also agree that the anticipation and a possibiities, the build up is all part of the fun. Haing said that there is a time and a place for all styles of meet, certainly not being judgemental.
Completely agree 'It sounds like you have a clear agenda on how you want to swing Asynch which is great although it may only appeal to a select group of swingers who want the same.' Surely thats called choice. I do have an agenda, I would suggest everyone does as well.
The post was more a genuine question into success/failure on this site, Im glad to see that those who have been kind enough to reply are having a wonderful time, although experiencing, what I think youd define as a more rounded experience than I would wish to be part.
Well I suppose the point of the thread is there a specific benefit or any in pursuing swinging through the portals of the sh site? because it appears to have a filtering effect on some members of the population. so in some way is either grooming or differentiating between people?
so that our intrepid swingers set off for an evening's sploshing with a quite different headpiece than they would require if the activities were brought about through another site. Would there be a significantly different character to the ensuing clusterfuck?
evidently there appears to be je ne sais quoi to the motivations and inspirations between the varying sites.
Or is it a good example of what the internet does to a community of people who have a similar requirement? Does the internet divide, misdirect and mislead only to create profit making agencies who then reassemble all the various divisions, because the actual thing they do would cease completely?
i find that various sites offer various things at various times ...... some sites i make friends on and others i will use more for meets. it depends on my mood as to what i want at a particular time. kid about etc i will want more the chant and banter... a kid free environment then it will be more the meet type i want or a rude chat/cam i will be after. diff sites offer me different types of things i am after
I Have to agree with tweeky. Id like to think my profile is reasonably polished, hopefully witty and informative and if nothing else raises a smile. (thank goodnes for script writing services, money well spent:-))
I also think What Sara2010 is absolutely spot on, Swinging sites are a bit like waiting for london buses. Nothing for ages and then there are 3 buses ( or potential meets in this case ) there is certainly a cyclical nature to them. And times when things are spartan on one its a preverbial flood on another, well thats the theory
Im not sure I agree with 'verifications are a bad thing' though. I agree it would be nice to think that everyone will turn up when agreed and is actually who they say they are, and Yes I admit that verifications do not guarentee either of the previous as anyone who has turned up to a drink only to receive a text last minute saying 'sorry dead grandmother cant meet' would testify, But they are a good indicator of peoples possible intention. On another site Im always very dubious of profiles that have been active for over a few months with no photo verification, no meet and no pics , or even more suspcious, pics that look studio quality. I do think SH needs to look at Shrep it seems confusing and and as commented open to abuse.
I agree from a chat room prospective SH is very good and it seems ( i bow to the experienced socialites) that the social scene is tip top, but that does seem to leave the name of the site under false claims from the reponses to this thread, Swinging ,not chatting/camming heaven is the name after all.
If local people cant make it to a central bar for a chat face to face they are not worth our effort. Getting people to a bar from SH seems nigh on impossible. I actually find the opposite of what people are saying above its the SH messages we get that seem to want the fuck and go. Its all meet for guaranteed sex on here or not at all. We cant do that until we have met you we need to see you face to face before we can make that kind of commitment. Socials and munchs are fantastic on SH we have been to and hosted lots. Though with kids we dont stay in the day or overnight so getting a meet from them can be hard. We get offers but then the people have returned home to timbucktoo and by the time you get round to sorting anything out its all died a death. We put shit loads into SH over the years we got out good socials and good munchs but nothing else. Three weeks we have been on another site we have had one meet already turned up and plenty more on offer from members that seem genuine though I can only judge seems genuine on their as much as I can on here its just instinct. Over the other site too people dont seem to be adverse to going to the bar which is good 
